International Companion
by IronGall
Summary: Bella and Edward meet at a JFK terminal as they wait for a flight to Johannesburg. A series of unfortunate events leave Bella stranded without money or a passport and only a stranger's number. Bella reaches out to Edward and so it begins... summary inside
1. Chapter 1

International Companion

**Summary:** Bella and Edward meet at a JFK terminal as they wait for a flight to Johannesburg. A series of unfortunate events leave Bella stranded without money or a passport and only a stranger's number. Bella reaches out to Edward and so it begins. Circumstances bring them together, their love of New Orleans and traveling keeps them together. A story about random connections, love, and travel.

**Pairing:** ExB

**Rating:** M

**Beta:** EMILY93

~IC~

Chapter 1

A decaying flower arrangement sat in the center of my dining room table. There were papers scattered haphazardly around my poor attempt at keeping something alive for more than a day. The dying plant was only evidence to the studying that had taken priority over providing its nutrition. I was never going to be an avid gardener, there was nothing more to it. I did feel slightly guilty for not making more effort to keep it alive but the livelihood of my education was more important to me than a vase of flowers that Jacob had bought me to 'brighten' the place up, or so I recalled him saying.

My studying had taken priority over everything in my life and most especially it stole away the majority of my time I would use to tidy my apartment hence my notes and exercise books sitting in a disarray. My life was the equivalent of Groundhog Day; I woke up, washed, went to school, came home, studied, perhaps ate when I could spare the time, more studying and then attempt to crawl to my bed in the early hours of the morning in desperate need of beauty sleep, but most of the time I barely made it to my bed...

Today wasn't any different. My body was slumped over the table, the faint buzz of a lawnmower could be heard in the distance. This morning scene had played out every Thursday for several weeks and finals were finally here.

My cellphone vibrated on the table, interrupting my sleep as my hand stretched out to retrieve it and answer it.

"Hello?" I groaned, my voice thick with sleep.

"Jesus Bella it's 7:30, were you still asleep?"

"Shit, yeah. I fell asleep at the table again. Christ, I won't have time for a shower now. Jacob, why didn't you call me earlier?" I was frustrated with Jacob for not waking me earlier. It wasn't particularly Jacob's fault nor was he my personal alarm clock but I wasn't prepared to blame myself at this point in time.

"Not my responsibility babe. Listen I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. With coffee. I'm guessing you'll be needing it."

He hung up before I could thank him. I finally peeled myself off the table before stretching and yawning simultaneously and making my way over to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and washing my face I hurriedly dashed into my bedroom to throw on a pair of jeans and a plain teal shirt. I wasn't bothered whether I looked a mess. I simply didn't have the time to ponder over novel things such as which pair of pumps go better with my nail polish. I would never be that kind of girl. I rushed over to my mirror to quickly run a brush through my hair and tie it back in a high ponytail ensuring my hair would be completely out of my face.

Making my way down the stairs I collected the papers that littered the table and packed them into my book bag. A few moments later Jacob entered my apartment.

Jacob was my best friend and didn't need to worry about knocking and waiting for me to answer the door, nor did he ever worry about walking in on me when I wasn't decent, we knew from the onset that we were never in the least bit attracted or inclined to each other in that way.

"Good morning gorgeous!" He crooned as he handed me a large coffee. I looked at the cup holder and noticed the 'Starbucks' logo. I guessed Jacob thought I'd benefit from drinking a decent caffeine fix today. He glanced over at the flowers sitting on the table and grinned.

"Really? You can't even keep a bouquet of flowers alive? First it was the goldfish, now plants, too?" He laughed at me, shaking his head before he took a sip of his own coffee.

"Well..." I hesitated quickly trying to think up a valid enough excuse for the unfortunate death of the flowers. "I was busy?"

He laughed at me before nodding. "Sure. I understand, Bella." I knew he was cutting me some slack after seeing how stressed I've been over the past few weeks because of finals looming above my head.

"Oh! When do you leave for South Africa Bella? I keep forgetting."

"Next Friday, I fly to New York at 6am." I smiled brightly at the thought of getting away from the States, granted I loved my country but South Africa would always be home to me. I loved it there.

Jacob nodded in acknowledgment and headed towards the door, me following in pursuit of him.

~IC~

"Fuck! Where the hell is my passport?" I yelled in a state of complete panic.

"Calm down Bella, and quit with the dirty mouth. It's unbecoming." Jacob was sprawled out on my bed, his only contribution to my packing was staying out of my way and I appreciated him for this. He had made some useful suggestions but aside from his verbal aid he had left me to my own devices.

It was 3am and Jacob was going to drive me to the airport, a task that he volunteered himself for in exchange for my apartment for the next two weeks. I didn't think it a very fair deal but it meant I could enjoy my trip without any worries at the back of my mind plus I could take comfort in the fact that I had a home-sitter in the shape of my best friend taking care of things, not to mention my beloved dog, Nessie. So I agreed.

"Found it!" I yelled as I stuffed it into my satchel. I surveyed the contents of my suitcase, doing a mental calculation of outfits. I quickly zipped it closed, placed a padlock on the zipper and decided that whatever I had missed I could always buy once I had arrived in Namibia.

"Jake, I'm ready. Get your ass out of my bed and let's go!" I corralled him to the door.

He jumped up and picked up my suitcase. "You pack light for a girl Bells"

"My dad calls me that! Don't use nicknames you aren't authorized to use!" I laughed as I chastised him. This was the nature of our relationship, we joked and harassed each other playfully. To a lot of people we looked like a well matched couple, but we continuously reminded everyone that though we dearly loved each other, we would never be romantically interested in one another.

After loading up my luggage into the car we quickly made our way to Louis Armstrong International Airport. The early hour meant that traffic was light and about a half hour later Jacob was depositing me curbside. A quick hug, peck of the cheek and a wish for a pleasant and safe trip was all Jacob administered before hopping back in his car and driving off.

I checked in and made my way through security without incident. Airports were pretty generic places and this one was no different. I found a seat in the terminal and inspected the contents of my satchel. In my wallet, I had my ID, a couple hundred US dollars, some Rands and Namibian Dollars. My satchel also contained a black moleskin notebook, several pens, a Kindle, a laptop and of course my iPhone, along with chargers for all the gadgets. My passport and boarding passes were safely stowed in a zippered compartment.

I had been traveling my whole life and so I was well practiced in entertaining myself at airports. I loved to people watch and often laughed at passengers who were obviously too stupid to pack light and dress comfortably. I silently mocked them in my head while writing witty descriptions of my unsuspecting victims. These musings were interrupted by the ringing of my phone.

"Hi Charlie!" I chirped, I was always excited to be traveling and today was no different.

"Bells, are you at the airport already? Got your passport, passes and credit card? Did you bring the money I sent over?"

"Jeez dad, slow down. You just asked me several questions at once. I'm not a little kid, I have what I need. I can't believe I'll get to see you for two whole weeks!"

We spoke for a few more minutes before saying our goodbyes. As I put my phone away I thought about my dad. It had been about two years since I had seen him.

A long while later I found myself at JFK waiting for my flight to Johannesburg. I was sitting at the gate, along with several hundred other people. I looked around for a while before pulling out my journal. I really wanted to document the trip, it had been almost five years since I had been to Africa, I wondered how it would be different, if it had changed at all since my last visit, and how it would feel to be back. My thoughts were interrupted by a conversation in Afrikaans. I concentrated on the one side of the conversation I could hear. The man was sitting behind me and was obviously on the phone. I wondered if he was going home, his Afrikaans was pretty good but there was a hint of something that let me know it wasn't his first language.

"Hoe gaan dit met jou? "

"Goed, dankie!"

"Ek het jou soveel verlang."

"Praat stadiger asseblief."

Mystery Afrikaans speaker grew quiet and sighed before stating, "I will see you soon Tanya." He ended the call and, in perhaps a moment of frustration, threw his head back rather roughly and made contact with my head. I yelped from shock rather than pain and rubbed my head instinctively.

"I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed. He was now turned around facing the back of my head. I turned around to face him.

"It's okay, no worries. No permanent damage done." I couldn't help but laugh as I took in how uncomfortable he was.

"You speak Afrikaans," I stated.

"Yes, although not very well. But I'm learning," he replied as he zipped up his backpack.

"I'm Bella Swan." I offered my hand to him. He took it in his own and gave me a firm shake.

"Edward Cullen. I assume we are both on our way to Jo'burg. Is that your final destination?"

"Windhoek, well Okahandja but Windhoek is my final destination by plane." I explained, providing him with a polite smile.

"That's quite a trip, I'm just going to Jo'burg for a week. I've always wanted to go to Namibia. The Skeleton Coast is on my list of places to see."

"Well, it was lovely to meet you, Edward. I'm going to scope out some magazines at Hudson News. I'm sure I'll see you again at some point but if I don't, have a safe and enjoyable trip."

"A pleasure, Bella."

**End notes:**

**Thank you for reading!**

**You can find me on Twitter: abbycreations**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Bella POV

I always get a little weary about about meeting strangers at airports. Something about the disposable nature of these five minute friendships that seem to exist for the sole purpose of passing the time and filling an awkward silence bothers me. I had just met a guy who happens to be on the same flight as me. Big deal. So are three hundred other people. That hardly means we have anything in common. Or that we'll ever come across each other again after today's accidental encounter.

Then why was I having this argument with myself when I was usually so logical? I knew why. He had intrigued me unlike any other individual, not to mention, unlike any other man. I secretly wanted to know why he spoke Afrikaans and why he was visiting South Africa for a week. Was it business or pleasure, and who was Tanya and what significance was she to him?

I perused the news-stand aisles and looked for anything that piqued my interested or would provide me with entertainment on my long haul flight. I supposed I could dig out my Kindle from my satchel instead and find a quiet spot where I could read to pass the time rather than fantasizing over this Edward Cullen and how many children we'd have. I didn't want to get comfortable only to have to hustle my way into the plane.

I decided I'd rather wait to read until I was settled on the plane. The prospect of my flight had me ill at ease. It would be long and uncomfortable. There is always a snorer and a baby nearby to make sure that the earplugs I packed would be put to good use. Maybe the seat next to me will be empty? Now _that's_ wishful thinking right there. That never happens. I genuinely don't have good enough luck to be blessed with a vacant seat next to me on the plane. Besides the female desk clerk at check-in mentioned that the flight was full.

I have no idea how long I spent at Hudson News but I came out with a couple of magazines, smut, news, and fashion. I made sure I had all the bases covered. I had a love hate relationship with Cosmo. All their sex articles seemed like blatant lies. I can't do half that crap they write about nor have I ever had any real opportunity to try. Nevertheless, I usually liked to torture myself by reading it. Today, however, I especially needed my fix of Cosmo. I actually sprung for the darned thing when I saw it on the shelf. I looked forward to hating it. I also picked up a few packs of gum and candy bars. I liked to have these on hand should I get hungry and desperate. Plane food was barely edible in my opinion and even the sight of it had me running to the restroom. The smell of it wasn't all that better doubled up as insurance, too. I have spent many a flight next to somebody with bad breath. Just the thought of it makes me cringe. Those were some painful memories.

As I made my way back to the gate I immediately spotted Edward. He had the required white buds in his ears and was leafing through what looked to be a travel magazine of some sort. As expected he sat beside the only empty seat left, empty save for his bag. I didn't particularly want to tempt myself any further by being near him but I really did want a seat. We'd already met so I figured I was in my right to ask him to move his bag so I could sit. We still had about a half hour before our flight invited us all to board. I slowly made my way over to him, he was so enthralled in his reading that he didn't notice me until I reached over to tap him on the shoulder. He immediately looked up before removing an ear bud.

"Bella, hey." Okay, so not the smoothest of openings but at least he remembered my name.

"Hey!" I replied, regrettably more enthusiastic than I had hoped. I pointed over to the seat next to him. "Could I take that seat from your tired bag?" I enquired playfully.

Without any hesitation he swiped his bag off of the seat and motioned for me to sit down.

"I'm sorry, that was incredibly inconsiderate of me. I'm glad you had the sense to call me out on it."

"If I hadn't already met you I wouldn't have bothered asking. Thank you for giving up the seat." I smiled down at him as I took my place and quickly fished around my bag for my headphones.

"Where do you live?" Edward asked me, not looking over at me when he did. He must be shy.

Any other new acquaintance asking me such a personal question as this one in such a short space of time, I would think it terribly suspicious and would retreat fast. Strangely enough, I found myself eager to answer him, and more importantly, comfortable with disclosing such details to a person who I barely knew.

"New Orleans. I go to Tulane. I transferred from U-Dub last fall." There I go giving up more information than was necessary. Was I being irresponsible by being so open with Edward? I was certain he wouldn't turn out to be an axe murderer but how could I be sure he didn't have some ulterior motive? Still, I proceeded to answer his every question without delay.

"The Harvard of the South," he stated, mostly to himself I gathered because he responded with barely a whisper.

"Hardly," I laughed aloud. "I've never particularly understood or agreed with that assessment." I nudged him as I answered.

"Funny that we meet here, I am your neighbor." He seemed in distant thought and had completely confused me. My neighbor? I'd never seen him before and I knew all the college kids that lived in my apartment building on Tchoupitoulas.

"My neighbor? Really? How so? I've never seen you before." I shook my head as I spoke.

"No, I mean, I go to Loyola. Well I just graduated so I should now say that I went to Loyola. This trip is part of my graduation present."

"Oh, I see! Congratulations on graduating, Edward." I smiled brightly at him. This was beyond weird and definitely unexpected. I hadn't anticipated finding myself getting along so well with a man I had met not even an hour ago.

We spent the next twenty minutes sharing stories about The Boot, Magazine Street and Port of Call. We both wondered how we hadn't ran into each other before. We frequented the same bars and restaurants. He went to Loyola to study music, he informed me of his love of Jazz and that the music scene in New Orleans appealed greatly to him. Edward had been to South Africa as an exchange student in high school. He later hosted one of the kids from his host family in his home back in Seattle. Apparently this kid was a girl called Tanya who was madly in love with him. I expected this to be the same Tanya I had overheard Edward talking to earlier. He seemed annoyed at the prospect of seeing her again but he loved South Africa and was happy to pay a visit to his former host family. Soon after, the airline called for us to board over the tannoy. He gave me his numbers, both in South Africa and in the States. I gave him mine without a second thought. I told him we should get together over the summer once we were back from our African getaways. He agreed. I only hoped that it wasn't an agreement made out of pity rather than want.

A couple of hours into my flight and I was bored again. I thanked my lucky stars I had an aisle seat and didn't have to jump over people in order to go to the bathroom I decided to find Edward and see how he was fairing. I was sure I was playing with fire, but still, I found myself walking up and down the aisles and didn't spot him. Just when I figured he might be in the bathroom I spotted him walking towards me. He was coming from business class.

Shit, I was jealous. I wondered how he could afford such seats what with him being a student. Either he worked several jobs whilst he studied at Loyola or he was born into a wealthy family. I figured the latter.

We made instant eye contact. Edward gestured for me to follow him back in the direction of the business class area of our plane. I didn't know if a person from coach was allowed to even step their big toe into business class let alone their entire body and yet, I proceeded to follow after him. I thought back to that one particular Seinfeld episode where Elaine was stuck in coach while Jerry enjoyed the luxury of first class. Elaine later snuck into an empty seat in first class and was promptly kicked out by a flight attendant, I hoped not to be making a similar walk of shame. We arrived at his seat and I noticed much too quickly that the seat next to him was empty.

As if sensing the litany of questions that were brewing in my mind, Edward explained. "My sister Alice couldn't make the trip. She has a nasty ear infection and couldn't fly. This would have been her seat. I was coming over to get you, maybe you can nap here or whatever." He shrugged looking at me with a modest grin.

"That's really sweet of you. Now I'm really glad I met you!" I smirked as I gladly took my seat next to him. I relished in the feel of the seat gloriously moulding itself to my body. I especially enjoyed not having to worry about stretching my legs out too far before knocking the seat and disturbing the passenger sat in front of me.

"Ah this is great! So comfortable. I will never fly coach again. Thanks for ruining me, and I mean that sincerely." I reclined my seat, laughing happily as I did so.

Edward chuckled, "Well, I'm always happy to help."

"Tell me, Bella what takes you to Namibia?"

"My dad lives there. He works with diamonds. Used to be a cop but caught a break that allowed him to travel."

"Any siblings? I want to know more about you." He spoke very candidly but with a careful tone as if he didn't want to spook me all the way back to coach. As if that was going to be happening anytime soon!

"No siblings, at least not by blood. I have a good buddy who is like a brother to me but my parents just had me. They divorced when I was little and my mom now lives in Florida. She's remarried. I hardly see her." I frowned thinking of my mom and how long ago it had been since I last spent time with her. I quickly composed myself before speaking again.

"What about you? Tell me about your family," I asked softly.

"My dad is a doctor, and my mom a home maker I guess. She doesn't work in the general sense, but she does take care of things around the house. You might say she's a typical housewife and mother. She's more of a society lady to be perfectly honest. My mom is very sweet and not at all snobby like you might expect. I have a sister, Alice and a brother, Emmett. My family lives in Seattle but New Orleans has been home to me for the past four years."

I nodded along as he spoke. "And are you planning to stay in New Orleans or go back home?"

"I've no idea. I've been putting off making a decision about that." He sighed.

Edward and I talked for a few hours, he ate dinner whilst I tried my damned hardest to control my need to cringe at the food. We might have been seated in business but plane food was repulsive to me regardless of class. Luckily Edward found the comical side of it all, especially when he raised his brow in question at me as I chewed on a Twizzler. What? I needed some form of sustenance.

A few more hours into our flight we finally slept.

I slept like a log. I deemed it the best sleep I had ever had whilst on a plane. I woke up a short while before our cabin crew planned to serve breakfast. I tapped Edward awake and waved a silent goodbye. I hadn't brushed my teeth and I wasn't going to risk morning breath. When I made it back to my seat, my satchel was just where I left it. I grabbed my toiletry bag and headed straight for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, put on some deodorant and lastly I fixed my hair. I felt refreshed.

The rest of the flight was uneventful. I filled out the customs and immigration forms and waited for our descent into Johannesburg. The landing was perfection, and everything was on schedule. My flight to Namibia wasn't until the next morning so I was to check into a hotel within a short distance from the airport. I grabbed a shuttle to the nearby Garden Court. I was still tired from all the traveling even though I had slept like a dream. Before heading out I had thanked Edward for the great sleep and promised to be in touch. He had given me an awkward hug before disappearing into the crowd.

The hotel was pleasant, and it had a restaurant on site, which I was grateful for. All I wanted was a big meal that didn't involve leaving the hotel grounds. I was seated at a nice table, and after setting my satchel down I headed for the salad bar. I ate like a king. Once I was stuffed I settled the bill and headed back to my room. After washing airplane grime from my body I dove into the double bed and was out for the count as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The wake up call I had requested was unwelcome. I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed, already feeling the effects of the jet lag. After a quick shower which I demanded I make time for, I managed to put a presentable outfit together. I wore a pair of dark jeans and a white button up shirt. A black leather jacket and black boots completed my outfit.

I checked out with plenty of time to spare. The shuttle dropped me off at the terminal twenty minutes later. As I approached the counter I dug around for my passport and ticket and coming up empty. I couldn't find it. I stopped by a bench and proceeded to empty my satchel. Panic was beginning to bubble up. I thought back, trying to remember where I could have lost it. I pulled open my wallet and gasped. All my cards were gone, even my ID. My money was gone too! I felt my eyes fill up with tears of which were threatening to spill over. I fought to keep them at bay.

There I was in a foreign country, no passport, no ID, no money and all alone. My laptop, Kindle, phone and chargers were still in my bag and although I was glad they hadn't been taken too, it didn't exactly fill me with a sense of overwhelming joy seeing them there. I was mortified and even more upset that all my other belongings were lost. My _important _belongings. I closed my eyes and shook my head as I thought back to how I had stupidly left my bag unattended the entire flight to Johannesburg and again at the restaurant when I visited the salad bar. I hadn't noticed anything missing at the time because they didn't need to see my card again when I checked out and the meal had been charged to my room.

Realizing the severity of my situation I finally sat back and let my tears fall free.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**I don't own, or claim to own anything. Just playing around and having fun!**

~IC~

Edward POV

I really liked Bella and I hoped to see her again. It was funny that we had been so close and yet so far and that a trip abroad was what brought us to cross paths. She was so easy going and real. She was traveling alone which told me she was adventurous and independent. I had truly enjoyed our conversations and definitely wanted to get to know her even more.

I cleared customs and stood outside in the crisp June air. I loved South Africa this time of year. A nice respite from the heat and humidity of New Orleans. I spotted the car service that was waiting for me. I waved to him and he sprinted to me in order to get my bags. "Good day boss! Welcome to Jozi!"

"Thank you. It's a nice day today."

"Yes boss, sun is shining and it's not too cold." He was jovial and made quick work of packing my bags into the trunk of the car. As he opened the door for me he confirmed our destination.

"Still headed to the Intercontinental in Sandton?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded as I entered the car.

The hotel was about 28 kilometers from the airport and it was a quick thirty five minute drive. On my way over I had received a call from Tanya. She would be back from Capetown on Tuesday which would give us only a couple of days together. Her family insisted I stay at their house once Tanya was back, and they were having a braai in my honor. I couldn't refuse them so I had graciously accepted. Between now and then I would be hanging out with some of the kids from the school I attended when I was an exchange student.

After checking in I am showed to my room. A pent house suite, I mentally make a note to thank my father for the extravagance. I am tired and feel filthy, I place an order for room service and hop in the shower. I am in the process of getting out of the shower when there is a knock on the door, I throw on a robe and let them in. The burger and fries may as well be gourmet, it smelled delicious and I couldn't wait to eat. I found my wallet and pulled out a couple of Rand for the waiter. He thanks me and leaves. I don't even bother to get dressed before diving into my dinner. The ice cold beer sealed the deal. I enjoyed it probably more than I should have.

A couple of hours of television later and I decided to call it a night. I didn't have anything planned for Sunday except to rest up and relax. I dreamed of Bella that night, we were on a plane talking, we held hands. I woke up with a start at the ringing of the phone. Who the fuck could be calling at this hour, 8am is a bit early even for my dad. He would let me sleep in after a long flight. I briefly considered not answering but impulse had my hand on the receiver before I could make a solid decision.

"Hello?" My voice was raspy from sleep. I hated sounding like I had just woken up, and I especially hated letting the caller in on that fact.

"Oh my gosh, Edward? I'm so sorry I'm calling you. I didn't know what else to do. My passport was stolen, my tickets, my cards my ID. Oh my goodness I am so screwed. I have no money..." she trailed off as she started sobbing.

I cleared my throat before speaking again, "Bella? Bella, what's wrong, where are you?" I tried to sound calm as it was obvious she was losing her mind.

"At the airport. I just realized all of that stuff is gone. I'm so fucked, Edward. I have nothing and nobody. I guess I just wanted to hear a familiar voice. I shouldn't have called, this isn't your problem. And I woke you, I'm so rude. I'll catch you stateside."

She was probably about to hang up, I gathered my thoughts before practically yelling into the receiver. "No! Bella no, don't hang up. Shit I'm sorry. Come to my hotel, I'll help you figure this shit out. You'll need to contact the local embassy or consulate to get you passport situation sorted. It could take more than a week to get a new passport issued. I'm at the Intercontinental in Sandton. Take a cab here, I'll be waiting for you downstairs. Don't worry about the money."

I heard her sniffling on the other end, "Thank you, so very much. I'll see you in a bit I guess."

The line went dead and I laid back into the pillows. She _was _screwed. I hoped she had copies of her passport in her suitcase. She seemed like a put together individual and it sounded like she traveled quite a bit. I hoped, for her sake that she had made preparations for a situation such as this. I glanced at the clock, it was now a quarter past eight, Bella should be here in about twenty minutes. I got out of bed in search of some boxers and clothes. Last night I hadn't bothered to get dressed for bed and instead, discarded the robe and got under the covers. I enjoyed sleeping in the nude although I seldom did so. I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt along with a hooded sweater. I sat in the lobby until I saw a cab pull up to the door. I quickly made my way outto greet it.

Bella emerged from the back seat sporting a tear streaked face and looking rather worse for the wear. I paid the driver and helped her with her suitcase. It was medium in size and not heavy at all. I rolled it behind me as we entered the hotel.

"Thank you so much for this, Edward. You didn't have to do this. I really appreciate it." She gave me a small smile.

"It's no problem, Bella. I couldn't leave you to rot. Besides, we're friends right?"

"Definitely, this gesture makes you a friend in my book." She nudged me with her elbow as we got into the elevator.

I unlocked the door to my room and allowed Bella to enter first.

"Wow, this is your room? Edward, it's amazing. Some digs you have here. Now I am almost glad I was robbed."

She stood at the window contemplating the view. She was a beautiful girl, and I found myself attracted to her. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her.

"I'd better call my dad, and let him know not to expect me." Her words burst through my daydream and brought me back to reality. She excused herself and went into the bedroom for privacy. I picked up the phone and dialed room service. I ordered us a continental breakfast. I was sure she had probably eaten already but I ordered enough for the both of us regardless.

A few minutes later she emerged from the bedroom looking rather sullen and defeated. I assumed her dad hadn't been pleased with the turn of events.

"I guess there isn't much for us to do today since it's Sunday. If you have plans please do not break them on my account. I can amuse myself. In fact, I should probably get out of your hair." She was fidgeting with her phone as she rambled.

"Don't be silly, take out your laptop and look up the local embassy. We'll need to go there first thing tomorrow." If she thought I was leaving her to fend for herself she was insane.

She quietly did as I instructed, smiling as she did so. After a few moments of typing and clicking she read aloud, "The Johannesburg Consulate General is located at 1 Sandton Drive in Sandhurst. Opposite the Sandton City Mall. Sounds like we are close. I have copies of all my stuff in my suitcase and my dad will wire some money to me here. I should be good."

She covered her mouth as she yawned. I noticed that she looked tired.

"Bella, I ordered us some breakfast. I think we should both eat something and maybe take a nap. Now I have no problem sharing a bed but if you're uncomfortable I can take the couch. Seems comfy enough." I braced myself for her answer, she would certainly be insulted at my suggestion we take a nap.

"That sounds like a plan. But you are crazy if you think I would kick you out of your own bed. I trust we will both keep our hands to ourselves." She gave me a suggestive smile as she made her way over to where I had set down her suitcase.

"Now, if we are going to sleep I am going to get into something more comfortable." She pulled out a pair of pajama pants a tank top before slipping into the bathroom to change. She came out with her hair in a messy bun wearing her sleep clothes. She looked good enough to eat and I immediately regretted suggesting we sleep together, in the same bed. God, this could get awkward.

After we ate some food we both made our way to the bedroom. I felt myself becoming aroused and prayed to all deities that she didn't notice. I didn't want her to think I was some sort of pervert trying to take advantage of her.

"Edward, how old are you? I need to know in case I accidentally molest you. I wouldn't want to be accused of statutory rape. I'm twenty."

I almost choked on my own spit. "Uh, I'm twenty-two." I didn't know what else to say.

"Good." It was all she said as she pulled back the covers and slipped into the bed.

I mirrored her movements on my side of the bed. She turned on her side to face me and I copied her positioning. I definitely had strong feelings towards her, was it lust? No, I mean I would definitely enjoy having sex with her but this was different. I wanted her to be safe, to be happy. Maybe it was the fact that we were both so far from home, the camaraderie I felt could surely be attributed to that. This was an extraordinary situation, if we had met back in New Orleans perhaps this spark I felt wouldn't be there. I watched as her eyelids drooped and finally closed. She fell asleep quickly, evidence of how tired she must have been. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to claim me too.

I woke up to find Bella cuddled next to me, one arm draped over my chest. She was soft and warm. My mind immediately went to the gutter and I cursed my dick for having already risen to the occasion. I felt her stir as she slowly came to. "Oh, this is so embarrassing. Edward I'm sorry." She jerked away from me and sat up, her face red with embarrassment. I laughed as I sat up against the headboard.

"I see you're a cuddler, Bella. There is no shame in that. Would it be crass of me to say I enjoyed it?"

"Umm, no. I guess it's preferable to you hating it," she replied, an edge of humor colored her words. "I have to tell you though, at some point during my nap a fellow cuddle buddy spooned me and he was, um, happy to see me?" She raised an eyebrow at me and it was now my turn to turn red. God, had I really spooned her and pressed my erection into her? How fucking embarrassing.

I was about to offer an apology when she crawled over to me and kissed me on my cheek. She quickly scurried off the bed and into the bathroom. I sat there stunned. She was unlike any girl I had ever met and I loved it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**a/n – Thank you so much to all of those who have read this story, put it on alert or added it to your favorites. It means to much to me and I appreciate every single one of you.**

**Special thanks to cullengirl08 who has so far been the only review I've received. :)**

**I don't own any of these characters, their South African adventure is all mine though.**

Bella POV

I was quickly becoming aware that for better or worse, Edward was pretty much stuck with me for the foreseeable future. He didn't seem to mind but I felt increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that I was imposing. I couldn't leave the country without a passport; I couldn't go on to Namibia or go back to the States. There was nothing my dad could do and his flying out here wouldn't do me any good. I had to go to the General Consulate and hope that I had enough for them to verify my identity and issue me a new passport.

Edward had gone back to the airport in order to rent a car. This had given me enough time to check in with my dad and shower before running down to the lobby to wait for Edward. I had just made myself comfortable on one of the sofas when I saw him enter through the automatic doors. I waved to him as I got up.

"Hey, have you been waiting long?" He ran his hand through his hair, a compulsion I wasn't sure if I loved or loathed.

"I actually had just sat down. Thanks for getting the car, we will split the cost."

"You're welcome, and we don't have to split anything. I planned on renting a car anyway." He looked uncomfortable and awkward. I tried to think back to the previous day and wondered what was going on with him. Sunday was spent mostly in bed, eating and watching television. No funny business whatsoever. He had been the perfect gentleman, although he had obvious difficulty controlling his 'little friend', which didn't appear to be little at all. Of course, I wouldn't know, having nothing to compare it to.

A few hours later we were back at the hotel. The trip to the Consulate had been a success and I was told that I should have a passport in about a week or so. That was the best case scenario, it could take longer. I decided that since my plans were irrevocably altered I would need to roll with the punches and resign myself to enjoy my time here in South Africa. I was making plans in my head while laying down on the couch in the living room of Edward's suite. Edward had excused himself to make a phone call. I was almost asleep when he emerged. I warily sat up and covered my mouth as I yawned.

"Sorry I took so long. I was checking in with my family. Alice is excited to meet you."

"Your sister is coming here? What about her ear infection?" I blurted out the questions as he looked at me with a peculiar look on his face.

"She'll be here next week. Your passport won't be ready until then. I extended my trip on account of Alice, she was really bummed about not being able to make it this time."

"That's nice of you, although hardly a sacrifice. This place is great."

"Bella, I'm not going to beat around the bush here. I like you. I'm glad we met and I'm glad you're stranded here, with me. I'd love to take you out on a date tonight, if you're agreeable. I don't meet too many women with whom I'd like to spend more time with." He looked right into my eyes as he spoke, looking so sincere and honest that I had to look away. My smile was so wide my face was beginning to hurt.

"I would really like that. I like you too. I realized I liked you pretty much from the get go, but it was our plane ride over here that closed the deal. Where are you taking me?"

"There is a restaurant I've heard a lot about that I'd like to try, it's called Moyo. It's supposed to be really good."

I had never been happier to have packed a dress, normally I wouldn't have bothered but Jacob had insisted I pack at least one dressy outfit just in case. The dress was a simple sleeveless number, cotton, with small pleats and ruffles along the neckline. I paired it with green, jewel toned peep toe heels. A matching clutch and black wrap completed my outfit. I wondered if it was too much but decided I didn't care, I felt pretty.

Edward had insisted on getting me my own room, for propriety's sake he said. I suspected he was having a hard time sharing a bed with me and keeping his hands to himself, or maybe he was not into cuddling as much as I was. Whatever his reasoning I was thankful to have a little privacy, even though deep down I wanted nothing more than to share a bed with him again. When had I turned into such a tramp? I had barely met the guy and I was already planning my seduction of him. I shook my head, silently chastising myself for my dirty thoughts.

I had kept my makeup simple, just a bit of concealer around my eyes, neutral eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, a hint of blush and some lip gloss completed the look. I decided to forgo any jewelry, opting for a jeweled headband instead. After giving myself a once over in front of the mirror I decided to head down to the lobby to meet Edward. I was really nervous during my elevator ride downstairs. I took a few deep calming breaths and tried to settle my mind and my body. I felt uneasy, anxious. I didn't like it.

When the elevator doors opened my eyes immediately fell on Edward. He looked so handsome in his black slacks and white shirt. He had his dinner jacket draped over his shoulder, hooked onto his index finger. His hair was tousled messily which contrasted his clean shaven face. I allowed myself a few moments of ogling before making my presence known.

"You look lovely," he stated simply before leaning in to kiss my cheek.

"Thank you. You look very handsome." I smiled back.

"Shall we?" he asked as he offered me his arm. I suddenly felt as if I was in some sort of movie, or fairytale. It was the best start to any date I had ever been in.

We stepped out into the chilly night air and Edward handed his ticket to the valet. Moments later a car I didn't recognize pulled up to the curb. I was surprised when Edward walked over, opened the passenger door and motioned for me to get in.

"This isn't the car from earlier," I said to him as I walked towards the car.

"Surprise," he laughed before shutting my door and walking back to the driver's side.

"You changed cars, why? The other car was perfectly fine."

"I like nice things, Bella, and I'd like to share them with you. I figured a Jag would be a nice toy to play with this evening."

Well this was a side of him I hadn't seen before. He was being all suave and fancy. I kind of liked it.

The restaurant was amazing, it was very visually striking. There were several levels, the bar was on the main level with dining areas a floor below and a floor above. It was large but cozy and felt very African. I was immediately in love with the place.

We soon took our seats at the table and Edward ordered a bottle of a local wine while I perused the menu. There were several things that sounded delicious but I settled on the carrot and cumin soup for starters followed by the lamb m'choui. Described on the menu as _"Moroccan cumin and sweet paprika roast lamb, served with a red wine gravy and fresh seasonal vegetables." _Edward ordered some samoosas and a lamb curry. The food was delicious and I tried not to make a spectacle of my self by moaning after every bite. I really wanted to as everything is delicious. The mix of ingredients caused an explosion of delectable flavors in my mouth.

Our waiter cleared our plates and I sipped the last of my wine feeling content and satisfied. I was sure I could not eat anymore but Edward convinced me to try the toasted almond ice cream, "_A nut studded__crème anglaise based ice cream served with a caramel sauce_." I wondered who wrote their menu descriptions as I took my first taste. As with everything I had eaten there, it was divine.

"Goodness, Edward this is so good," I exclaimed and wondered what it would taste like if we were eating it off one another. I hoped he couldn't tell I was thinking such raunchy thoughts by the expression on my face. He merely smiled as he continued to eat. I was smitten, I might as well admit it to myself. The entire evening had been a delight. There I sat with an adventurous eater, a lover of the new and foreign. He was a great conversationalist. Our entire dinner was filled with titillating conversation. We each shared little bits of ourselves. The more I learned about him, the further gone I was.

He played the piano and guitar, wrote his own music and had even performed in a few bars back in New Orleans. His music studies included music therapy and he explained in some detail what that entails. He spoke so casually and honestly about himself, no pretenses, no need to impress me. He was just being himself.

Time seemed to exist on a different continuum when I was with him. It went by faster, I noticed it less. I felt as though the evening had just began even though we had been out for over three hours. The drive back to the hotel was spent in comfortable silence, neither of us had the need to speak. I was beginning to feel a little cold and leaned forward to turn on the heat. We both reached for the button at the same time, our fingers brushing slightly. I laughed as I went to pull away but he grabbed my hand and held it the rest of the drive home.

We arrived at the hotel far quicker than I would have liked. Edward escorted me to my room, awkwardly stopping at my door as I fumbled for my key card. Once I had it securely in my hand I turned towards the door. I wondered if I should invite him in, would that be too forward of me? It would surely seem like an invitation to something more sinister. Sinister, now there is a word not often associated with sex. I must have spent a lot of time in my head because Edward cleared his throat and made to leave when I decided to throw caution to the wind.

I quickly unlocked my door, pushed it open and yanked Edward inside. I grabbed his face in my hands and before I could lose my nerve I brought my lips to his. My eyes closed of their own volition as I gave in to the myriad of feelings that seemed to flow through me. Nothing else existed in that moment, I was lost. I never wanted to be found.

~IC~

**a/n**

**I started a tumblr account where I will post pictures of outfits, locations, etc.**

**Check it out.**

**Abbycreations (dot) tumblr (dot) com**

**Thank you for reading! **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

**a/n**

**I am shocked and elated every time an e-mail arrives in my inbox alerting me that my story has been added to favorites, reviewed, or put on alert. I am so happy to be sharing this story with all of you. **

**Reviews are gold, I thank you for them in advance. Even the ones you just think about but never post. **

* * *

><p>Edward POV<p>

Bella was holding my face in her hands as she kissed me. It was a soft almost chaste kiss. My heart was beating wildly in my chest and I felt my entire body flush with a rising heat. My hands found her elbows and I held her as we both stood lip locked, each of us holding back but at the same time giving in. As suddenly as she had assaulted my mouth, she pulled back. She looked almost sheepish, embarrassed even. I leaned in and placed my lips on hers, giving her a quick peck.

"Bella, I hope you're not regretting that kiss. That was one of the best kisses I've ever had."

"I don't regret it, I just don't know what came over me," she said. She started fussing with the skirt of her dress, smoothing imaginary wrinkles with trembling hands.

We were now standing in front of the door, neither of us willing to walk further into the room where the bed mocked us. I had no intention of getting her into bed. That is not where I saw this going. Okay, so eventually, maybe, if we started a relationship. Even then, that wasn't a given. I didn't know where Bella stood on the whole sex issue. Maybe she intended to stay pure until she married. Sometimes, I didn't know where I stood. I wasn't a virgin but with the right girl I could abstain for as long as necessary. In any case I was getting way ahead of myself. Although my thoughts were muddled, I was keenly aware of the fact that I was thinking in a way I hadn't before. I was making plans for the future, with a girl I had practically just met. I wanted to do things right, and that meant putting our cards on the table, discussing the important issues that could derail a relationship before it even started.

"Bella," I finally broke the silence that was bordering on disagreeable, "I had a really nice time tonight. It served to solidify the fact that I really like you and would like to continue to cultivate whatever this is that's going on between us. I don't want you to think that tonight was about achieving some end goal of a roll in the proverbial hay. I don't intend to pursue that at the moment. I just want to spend time with you here and when we go back home, I want to spend time with you as well."

I had said more than I intended, my nerves got the better of me and caused me to spill the contents of my convoluted mind. I hoped I hadn't come across badly.

"You are such a gentleman, Edward. Thank you for tonight, dinner was amazing, you were amazing. I agree that we should take things slow, sex-wise." She was blushing profusely, obviously due to the subject matter. I found it endearing and humorous.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting like a school girl. We are adults, it's good to discuss sex and the role it will play in our relationship. I agree, we shouldn't jump into bed, even if we are obviously attracted to one another." She gave me a bright smile as she regained her composure.

"It's good to have that out in the open. Now neither of us will feel pressured. We each know how the other feels." I stroked her cheek with the back of my hand as I spoke. She grabbed my hand and brought it to her lips, kissing the palm of my hand before gently releasing it.

"When is Alice arriving? We should plan out our week so that you don't miss out on your friends."

"We're going to a braai on Wednesday evening at Tanya's house. She's the daughter of my host family. She's 19 and has a crush on me. She's pretty forward about it so if it's okay with you, I'm going to introduce you as my girlfriend. I know it's childish but I was going to lie and tell her I had one anyway. Now I won't be lying as much." I hoped she caught on to the implication of my words. I had every hope that we were heading in that direction.

"This should be interesting, this is the sort of shenanigans I love getting mixed up in." Her mischievous grin told me she wasn't kidding.

We hashed out plans for the week, Wednesday was already accounted for but left plenty of days to fill. My trip to South Africa had nothing to do with visiting my host family, my current plans had been forged after Alice fell ill. Our initial plan was to spend a week volunteering for the LoveLife South Africa organization, a non-profit that promotes AIDS free living. It mainly targets teenagers and young adults. Alice and I had become involved after she wrote a research paper on AIDS prevention her senior year of high school. She became very interested in the subject and my parents encouraged her to become involved. Once she found an organization to work with we planned a trip that summer. My parents weren't comfortable sending her by herself so she recruited me as her chaperon of sorts. I was more than happy to devote a few weeks to such a worthy cause. I was also motivated for more selfish reasons. I had been traveling to South Africa for years, (ever since I participated in the student exchange program my sophomore year of high school) and was always happy to visit and see my friends.

After our initial interaction with LoveLife Alice and I returned to Johannesburg every summer for a week or two. We went into the rural areas and gave out condoms as well as literature on AIDS and safe sex. We even assisted in demonstrations on proper condom use. I always found this to be rather shame inducing, especially as I watched my younger sister expertly roll a condom onto a banana.

I decided to take Bella to Kruger National Park, my plan was to set out on Wednesday night after visiting the Van Der Merwes and return to the hotel on Saturday just in time to meet my sister when she arrived that afternoon. So to sum up our plans, Tuesday we would lay around, I would contact the director of LoveLife to let them know that the Cullens would make it after all and would be bringing a friend. I had yet to tell Bella about my involvement with this organization or invite her to volunteer with us but I was certain she would be delighted to put her time to good use. Her passport wouldn't be ready for another week or so. The initial estimate was 7 – 10 business days which meant it would be at least two weeks from the time she submitted the necessary paperwork to the Consulate. I was secretly hoping that it would take longer than the estimated time. While Bella had visited South Africa on many occasions it was mostly on her way to someplace else and aside from Johannesburg she hadn't really seen much of South Africa. I wanted to show her around, see places that neither of us had seen before, together.  
>During one of our many conversations she had explained that her father worked in Botswana for a few years and had most recently moved to Namibia where he oversaw security operations for a diamond polishing factory. Whenever she visited either country her point of entry into Africa was always O.R. Tambo International Airport, which I usually referred to as Johannesburg International.<p>

The company he worked for was based in the United States and worked alongside a local government run company. The symbiotic relationship benefited both entities. Bella's father protected the interests of the US side of things. As she explained, the Namibian government allowed this American company to buy their diamonds as long as they processed them within the host country, thus creating employment opportunities for the locals.  
>I planned to surprise her with the trip to Kruger. I had made lodging arrangements for us and managed to find a suite in the Singita Game Reserve. The drive to Kruger would take about 8 hours plus another three hours to get to the lodge,I had hired a car service for our trip. I wasn't up to the long drive and figured we could relax in the back seat and leave the driving to somebody else. I had called Alice and let her know of my plans and assured her we would be back in time to have dinner with her on Saturday. I also took a few minutes to speak with my parents.<p>

~IC~

Wednesday afternoon was upon us in a flash. I was almost dreading having to face Tanya again, she always made me uncomfortable with all her attention. I hoped that by bringing my 'girlfriend' she would back off and rid herself of any ideas of us being together.

I called Bella's room to let her know when to meet me downstairs. The phone rang for longer than I expected.

"Hello?" she was out of breath.

"Bella? It's Edward, are you okay?"

"Yes, I was in the shower. I heard the phone ring and I was expecting a call from my dad so I ran out of the bathroom. I caught my leg on the little coffee table and tripped." She let out a hearty laugh, "I'm okay though, nothing hurts except for my pride and even that isn't really hurt since there was nobody here to witness my decidedly ungraceful tumble in the nude."

"I'm sorry you ran thinking it was your dad. I wanted to let you know that we need to leave at around 5:30, it's 4:15 now. I'm going to get ready and I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Okay, I will see you then." she hung up before I could tell her to pack a bag for our trip. I picked up the receiver again and dialed her room.

"Hello!" she exclaimed.

"It's me again. I have a surprise for you and need for you to pack a bag. We will be back on Saturday, our rooms here will still be ours so there is no need for you to pack up everything. Just what you will need for a few days in the bush."

"No," she began. I feared she might not be amenable to an impromptu trip I had so brazenly planned without consulting her. I mentally kicked myself. I was overstepping my boundaries.

"Edward it's silly for you to pay for two rooms. I'll put my stuff in your suite and we can figure out my accommodations when we return. I'm excited for this secret trip you have planned. I'll hurry up and get dressed and I'll be up in a few with my stuff."

I exhaled, relieved that she was all for this trip and amused that she was so practical and responsible. It was obvious that money didn't phase her and as opposed to a lot of people I had come across during my relatively short life, it did not impress her.

At around 5:20 Bella was at my door with her suitcase in tow. I helped her place it inside the suite, grabbed my duffel and backpack before we both headed downstairs. The drive to Tanya's would put us at her house a few minutes past six o'clock.

Tanya Van der Merwe was more commonly known as Tanya Denali among her friends. An exchange student from Alaska had dubbed her so after witnessing her consume copious amounts of THC. Denali means "the high one" in some Native American dialect I am not familiar with. Tanya hates the name but unfortunately for her it stuck and I for one cannot help but to associate her with it. Her family was part of the upper crust of South Africa. They lived in a beautiful house in Bryanston, just outside of Sandton. Bella found Tanya's alternate last name amusing and recounted her own experiences with ill begotten nicknames.

We soon arrived at our destination. Bella hopped out of the car and practically skipped towards me. "Edward, remember, I am your girlfriend." She winked at me and I couldn't help but smirk.

I knocked on the door and was almost immediately greeted by Ms. Denali herself. "Hello Eddie!" she crooned. Her accent had lessened but it was still there, it was the only part of her I found attractive. Her hair was blonder and her eyes were a strange purplish color thanks to whatever funky contact lenses she was into these days.

"Tanya, it's nice to see you again." It was all I managed to get out before she had thrown herself at me in a hug. Bella giggled in amusement.

"This is my girlfriend Bella." I motioned towards Bella as I waited for a reaction.

"It's nice to meet you, Tanya." Bella was the first to break the silence and offered her hand.

Tanya looked slightly stunned but recovered rather quickly and took Bella's hand, shaking it firmly but not in the violent manner I had expected.

"That is lovely, come in, come in." Tanya finally managed before turning towards the sitting room. Bella and I followed silently.

Tanya's parents were ever the gracious hosts welcoming Bella like a long lost friend of the family. We spent some time catching up, exchanging stories and the occasional jokes. After a delicious meal, during which I consumed more steak than I should have, the adults excused themselves for the evening leaving the three youngsters to their own devices.

"So, Edward." Tanya enunciated each letter of my name as if she was eating poison, "You have a girlfriend now. I honestly can't believe it. She is quite charming, but I must ask you why you rejected me for all these years. I have been in love with you since I was 13, that's six years! Six bloody years and now you bring a girl to my house!" She yelled her last statement. Her face was red and her eyes were just about ready to give up the tears they harbored.

"Tanya, if I may." Bella started, "I'm sorry that my presence here has affected you in such a negative manner. I don't think it's your intention to offend or be mean, but that is exactly what you are doing. I only just met you and you seem like a person I could be friends with. Do you think we could start over?"

Tanya was openly crying now, her sniffling filled the room and punctuated each sob. "I'm sorry. I was hoping you'd be a total cow and really ugly to me but you're so nice. I've had this crush for so long and I guess I thought one day Edward would see it and want to be with me."

Bella looked genuinely anguished, sympathy flowed out of her, her kind eyes focused only on Tanya.  
>"It's okay, I think I'm going to let you two talk in private for a little bit." Bella got up and walked inside, leaving Tanya and I alone in the patio.<p>

"Edward I'm really ashamed. I've held a torch for you for a long time. You are such a good person. You always made me feel good about myself. You didn't like me for my looks, you actually talked to me like I was a normal person and not some piece of meat."

"Any guy who is only interested in sex is an idiot who doesn't deserve your attention. You're beautiful, and you're also clever, funny and kind. You have a lot going for you, don't let the few boys you've had the misfortune of dating make you think any different."

I walked over to her and helped her up from her seat before hugging her tightly. "She's amazing Edward, and you are both so happy. It's good to see the people you love happy." She kissed my cheek before pulling away. "Let's go find Bella."

An hour later, after saying goodbye to Tanya and promising to stay in touch, Bella and I made our way back to the hotel. The car service would pick us up at around 11pm and we would only arrive with a few minutes to spare. It was a good thing we had our bags with us.

At 11 on the dot the car service had arrived. We greeted our driver as he took our bags from us. Once inside the car Bella finally asked me for details. "So, where are we going?"

"Singita, in Kruger," I said.

"Kruger, as in the National Park? That's like ten hours away!" she exclaimed.

"It's actually eight, and that's why we are leaving tonight. We'll arrive at the entrance gate shortly after it opens at 6am. We can sleep on the ride over and take full advantage of our time there once we arrive."

"You're such a planner. I'm impressed." She looked out of her window momentarily, seeming lost in thought.

"You know Edward, I was planning on being a huge bitch to Tanya. I was surprised to find a scared and deflated young woman. She was all bark."

"I know, she was so subdued. She's normally very feisty. Thank you for tonight by the way. You were extremely kind when she was bordering on rude."

Bella shrugged. "It was nothing. You've already done so much for me. The least I could do was help diffuse that bomb."

"I will never tire of telling you how grateful I am to whatever forces landed you in this situation that brought us together." I put my arm around her as she leaned her head on my shoulders. Her eyes were getting heavy and she was obviously fighting sleep.

"It's such a whirlwind," she whispered before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

~IC~

**a/n **

**A braai is a barbecue, it comes from the word braaivleis (Afrikaans for 'grilled meat', vleis is meat). It is a social custom in the Southern African countries of Botswana, Namibia, South Africa, Zimbabwe and Lesotho. Braai refers not just to the actual grilling of the meat, but also to the grill itself. In these countries it is very common to be invited to a braai and in this sense it is much like being invited to a barbecue. **

**Check out my tumblr for pictures of outfits, locations and other things associated with this story.**

**The LoveLife organization is real, the link is up on my Tumblr. (abbycreations (dot) tumblr (dot) com**

**AIDS is a serious issue, not just in South Africa but in many of the neighboring African countries. Not to mention the world. Please take a moment to educate yourselves on this disease, particularly its prevention. Get tested and practice safe sex!**

**Until next time!**

**-Abby**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

**a/n**

**I keep forgetting to add the disclaimer that these characters aren't mine. **

**Thank you to those that continue reading, those who are new, welcome!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. Alice finally arrives!**

_

Bella POV

I awoke to a sharp pain in my neck. I slowly straightened myself up and off of Edward's shoulder. He was contorted into a position that assured me he would be just as sore as I was when he woke up. I cautiously stretched out my limbs, being careful not to touch Edward, lest I interrupt his sleep. Morning was about to break and no longer were we shrouded in darkness. The seat pocket in front of me housed some brochures and literature on our destination. I grabbed one and began to read up on this Singita Lodge. I already knew that we were going at a good time to see game. July was part of the dry season, this meant that visibility was good as the vegetation was not lush and the animals would be concentrated around water sources, which were scarce.

The lodge was definitely upscale, the accommodations were luxurious. This got me to thinking about sleeping arrangements, would we be sharing a bed again? I wasn't sure that I should be so blasé about sharing a bed with a man I had met less than a week before. At twenty years old I hadn't the most experience when it came to relationships, I had dated in high school and up until six months ago I had a boyfriend. Mike and I had been together for almost three years before we broke up. My move to New Orleans was the nail in the coffin for him. He just didn't believe in long distance relationships. During our relationship I always felt like I was just going with the flow. I wasn't truly invested in it and in the end it made our separation less painful than it should have been.

For some reason I felt completely at ease around Edward, everything felt right and I didn't question these feelings. For the first time in my life I felt like I was doing exactly what I should be doing. Even if we never saw each other again after this trip, I would always cherish it. The emotions Edward stirred up in me were, at times, too much for me to handle. I came close to freaking out when we were at Tanya's. I wasn't pretending to be his girlfriend, I already felt that I was his.

"Good morning." His voice was rough.

"Hey, I was just reading these brochures on Singita. That's some place you have us staying at." I raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

"You're probably wondering how it is that a college graduate, ink still wet on his diploma, has such opulent taste. More importantly, you're wondering how said graduate has such vast resources." His tone was playful, his features relaxed. "Well, the clichéd reality is that I was born into a wealthy family. I've accomplished nothing of import on my own so I guess taking advantage of my family's wealth isn't exactly something that I can count on to attract a woman such as yourself. I do, however, find myself wanting to share this part of my life with you. It's all I've ever known and I hope you don't count it against me."

"Of course I don't count it against you. I like you for you, not for your spending habits, although admittedly they are something I don't think I will ever be completely comfortable with. The Jag was total overkill. But that aside, you don't have to be embarrassed about coming from a wealthy family. If I made you feel bad or anything please forgive me. I..." I trailed off as he gently placed his index finger on my lips, effectively silencing me.

"Don't apologize, please. I've always been self conscious about my family's money. Especially here, where I can appreciate the dichotomy more clearly. When you see the poverty that exists you can't help but feel like you have too much. That's why my parents always encouraged us to get involved and give back. And not just money, anybody can give money, my parents always made sure to have us get invested physically. Being present is more important than how much you contribute financially. When we are here, we do our part to stimulate the economy. It's good to spend money here, we also volunteer and donate. We do the same back in the States. Poverty is not absent there, just perhaps more concealed."

I couldn't think of an intelligent response, I wanted to hug him and commend him for his humanitarian efforts. I also wanted to ask him to please allow me to volunteer with him, I wondered briefly if he had ever been to Soweto. I had a million thoughts racing through my head, so many things I wanted to say but couldn't articulate. As was often the case with me, I was getting ahead of myself, thinking up different ways that Edward and I could change the world. "I'd love to volunteer with you, become involved somehow. I'd never had the opportunity to do so and it would seem wasteful not to take advantage of your established involvement."

"Taking advantage, eh?" he teased. "Well, Bella, I already notified LoveLife that Alice and I would be paying them a visit and bringing a friend. I meant to ask you along but I'm rather pleased that you thought of it yourself."

Our conversation ceased as we noticed the car coming to a stop. We had arrived at the Paul Kruger gate. Park visitors needed to pay a fee of R180 (that's 180 Rands) per day. Since Edward and I were foreigners our fee was markedly steeper than the R45 that the locals paid. While Edward settled the bill I went to the bathroom to freshen up. I felt rather grimy and was glad I had the sense to bring an extra change of clothes for precisely this purpose. I pulled out the baby wipes I had taken to carrying around with me. When you travel to remote places with any regularity you learn to carry them. I wiped my underarms and nether regions feeling immediately more human than I had just moments ago. Another wipe for my arms and torso and I was done. I changed into fresh underwear and a clean shirt, I wore the same jeans figuring they were still clean enough. Splashing water on my face felt tremendously good and I gave a sigh of contentment as I felt the droplets of water trail down my face. I used a washcloth to dab my face dry, I cursed Jacob, the know-it-all for sneaking a few into my bag. He would certainly get a kick out of knowing how in handy his many suggestions had come.

Having taken care of as much as I could in the limited facilities, I emerged feeling awake and refreshed. It would be another three hours until we made it to Singita, I figured we would be arriving a little before noon. "You changed." Edward noticed. "I was thinking of doing the same thing. I feel pretty disgusting, can't wait for a shower."

"Here is the next best thing," I said to him as I fished the baby wipes out of my bag. He took the package tentatively, looking perplexed and then impressed?

"I wish I had thought of this. You are quite the boy scout, er, girl scout I mean."

"Ha ha, yeah you could say that. I learned to travel with these years ago. My dad likes to rough it when we go into the bush. He likes to do the whole camping thing, in a tent, on the ground. He says it builds character, ugh, I say it's uncomfortable but should be done at least once in your life."

"I think I'd like to meet your dad some day, maybe rough it with him." He gave me a devious smile.  
>"Why don't you go sit in the car while I run into the bathroom. The driver should be back from refueling."<p>

I made my way back to the car, it was a nice day. A little chilly but the sky was blue and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I took out my camera and took a few shots before crawling into the backseat. I must have dozed off because the next thing I know Edward is waking me up in a fit of laughter. "Bella, Bella, wake up. You've taken over the entire back seat."

I slowly sat up, feeling confused and mortified. "Shit, I'm sorry. I mean, crap, I didn't mean to swear. I, um, why didn't you sit up front then?"

"You are a riot. The front seat is being used, and I'd rather sit next to you anyway."

I didn't bother to ponder who or what was occupying the front seat. I spent the remainder of the journey asleep, not caring about missing any potential game sightings. So much for feeling refreshed earlier. The ride got bumpy when we left the tarred roads for the gravel ones. I drifted in and out of sleep but still managed to rest.

Singita was located near the Sweni River. It was a beautiful, secluded lodge with plenty of decks and windows. There were only six suites, each accommodating two people, I wondered if perhaps Edward was jumping the gun a little bit. This place was more appropriate for a honeymoon than a getaway for two friends who had just met. My thoughts immediately began to run away with me and I felt a tightness in my chest that I recognized as an oncoming panic attack of some sort. I felt dizzy and nauseous.  
>Was this real, and was it normal? I normally didn't take immediately to strangers, especially men. Being the daughter of an ex-cop and security manager had instilled a healthy amount of cautious paranoia in me.<p>

I felt my panic rising and I quickly tried to calm my mind. I watched as Edward spoke to the staff and helped unload our bags. I was standing near the reception area, bracing myself against a wall as I tried my best to look relaxed and composed. Everything I did seemed to make my mind race, my heart beat faster. I took a deep breath hoping it would offer some relief. I had never fainted before but I could feel myself slipping away, I felt sweaty and weak. Suddenly sounds became muffled and strange, I looked up to see Edward had noticed my condition. He had a look of worry on his face as he approached me. "Bella, what's wrong? You look unwell."

"I, I," I couldn't form coherent sentences. "I'm not feeling so good." It was the last sentence I consciously strung together before falling into his waiting arms.

When I came to I was laying flat on the floor, Edward had my head cradled on his lap. "Bella, Bella, wake up."

"Did I pass out?" I croaked.

"God, yes. You had me worried. Are you a diabetic? Could you be pregnant? Do you have a heart condition of some sort?" He rattled on his string of frantic questions.

"Um, no, I've never had sex so no and not that I know of."

"I think you might be dehydrated then. We haven't been drinking enough water. I'll make sure this changes from now on."

"Edward, this is extremely embarrassing but I think I fainted because I was having a panic attack. I was thinking too much and freaked out. Spectacularly as you are well aware."

A glass of water was placed in front of me by somebody. I slowly sat up and took it from the unidentified hand. "Thank you," I said before putting the glass to my lips.

I took a few tentative sips before gulping down in earnest. I felt a lot calmer, the lodge staff fussed around me asking Edward if I was okay to stay or if they had to evacuate me. I heard him assure them I was feeling fine and would let them know if we needed anything.

A few minutes later we were shown to our suite. It was magnificent. The views were breathtaking. I sat on the bed taking it all in.

"Bella, I'm worried about you. Is this too much? Are you uncomfortable being here with me? We can turn around and go home. I didn't stop to think that maybe this would be too much too soon." He looked so sad and apologetic.

"No, it's not that. I love this, I love being here with you. I'm sorry I freaked, I feel so silly now. I suffer from anxiety. I have it mostly under control now but sometimes I get overwhelmed and lose myself. I promise I'm okay. I don't need to flee. I want to be here with you." I hoped that he could see that he had nothing to worry about.

"Come sit by me please." I patted the bed.

He walked over slowly, measuring his movements. He looked concerned but still had some confusion on his face.

"I've never done anything like this before. Meet someone like I met you and immediately embark on sleep overs with them. I know it's the most overused line, the whole I've never done this before bit, but it's true. I didn't believe in fate, until now." He exhaled loudly, seemingly defeated.

"I know what you mean," I whispered as I rubbed his back. "I wasn't looking for a relationship. God, my last one was such a disaster. I know it's impolite or whatever to discuss a previous relationship when starting to get to know somebody else but, I don't really follow convention. I'd rather be open and honest with you." I swallowed, nervous to share but also worried that it might somehow change our dynamic. I had already told him I was somewhat sexually inexperienced, and I wondered how he regarded that.

"Mike Newton is his name. We started going out our senior year. It was fun at first but he was rather possessive and gave me a hard time when I decided to transfer from U-Dub to New Orleans. He broke up with me six months ago, stating he couldn't do the whole long distance thing. He said he was too young to be tied down. Anyway, he ended it and it was just as well because I hadn't had my heart in that relationship for a while. He recently decided he wants to give it another go. I'm guessing he finally managed to get all the screwing out of his system and is now okay with being deprived."

"Is that why he broke up with you, because you wouldn't have sex with him?" Edward looked me in the eyes when he asked his question.

"I always suspected that was part of the issue but he never did directly state it." I tried to think of a time when Mike had explicitly demanded sex but couldn't.

"If I may ask, why are you saving yourself? Are you religious?" He was almost afraid to ask, I assumed that he didn't want to offend me.

"Um no, that's not it at all. I just, I don't know. I want it to be right, with the right person, at the right time and for the right reasons. I don't have a problem with waiting until marriage, as archaic as that notion is to me, but I would only chose that option because of the romantic aspect of it. It sounds stupid to say out loud. It's just that the thought of giving myself to a man, that act seems so sacred to me, and I want to know that we will both treasure it. It will probably suck, first times aren't mind blowing, orgasmic experiences but I want it to at least be special. Plus I didn't want to worry about diseases and babies. All that worrying, not for me." I laughed nervously as I finished what felt like a long speech. I could feel my cheeks burning.

"I lost my virginity my senior year of high school, at a party. It was embarrassing, lasted about three minutes. I always regretted not taking the time to make it special, both of us were just so frantic and horny. We had both drank a little, we weren't drunk by any stretch but we definitely succumbed to the social lubrication of the stuff." Edward sat up and stated straight ahead. I wanted to giggle at his story, it was the typical teenage first time experience that movies are made of.

"I would never repeat that mistake. A woman's first time, that first blood, I took it for granted and didn't worship her like the goddess she was at that moment. Every woman becomes a goddess when she opens herself, her body to the assault of a man. I know it sounds violent and dramatic but I've regretted taking that experience from her ever since that night."

"Edward, you know that not all girls bleed their first time." I smiled at him and rubbed his arm.

"I know Bella, I know." He kissed my forehead and pulled me in for a hug. I felt good about our conversation. I was a little amused by the gravity in which he viewed first time sex for women. Was it a little sexist? Maybe he was just old fashioned and brought up that way. I definitely thought it sweet and uncharacteristically considerate for most men his age. Edward Cullen was certainly a rare breed of man.

"Um, I don't mean to prolong what is decidedly an awkward conversation but I don't want you to be under the erroneous impression that I am pure. I just haven't had intercourse, but I've, um, I've done other stuff." I wanted him to know everything about me, including the fact that even though I hadn't gone all the way I had still had some form of sex. Part of me hated that we had devoted so much time to discussing sex and our feelings about it. The other part of me was glad because nothing killed a relationship faster than a lack of communication.

"Well, that's enough of the heavy stuff for one day." Edward smiled warmly at me and for the first time I felt mesmerized by his intense stare. I leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. I swooned.

~IC~

That evening we went on a game drive. I had been in the bush many times before, game drives, or 'safaris' were not a foreign concept to me. Going on a game drive is one of those things that will never lose it's appeal, never lose it's beauty. While this was my first visit to Kruger I was no stranger to the majesty of the bushveld. This sub-tropical woodland ecoregion of Southern Africa covers most of the Limpopo Province (where Kruger Park is located) and sprawls into neighboring Botswana and Zimbabwe. The landscape was a rolling sea of grass plains, dotted with tree clusters and shrubs. The dry season meant that for the most part, everything was in varying shades of yellows and browns.

The drive was amazing, it is almost indescribable to express the beauty of it all. None of my other trips into the bush held a candle to this one. I wasn't sure if it had something to do with the giddy feeling that overcame me whenever I was near Edward. This place was so very untouched, it was as you'd imagine Africa looked before it was settled. Being deep in the wild felt invigorating, my sense of adventure was ignited and I relished breathing in the air, it was cool, crisp and cleaner than anything you breathe in the city.

The vehicle had a covered top but the sides were open, the lodge had provided thick wool blankets for us to combat the chill. We spent the drive huddled together enjoying the many animal sightings and interesting tidbits and anecdotes that our guides provided. Towards the end of our drive, Edward took my hand in his. He didn't let go until we made it back to Singita.

Our time in Singita was sublime. The food was great, the accommodations were spectacular and our surroundings were perfect. I was sad to leave, I could have lived out the rest of my life in that lodge and been perfectly content. I promised myself I would return to Kruger as often as possible.

~IC~

Saturday afternoon found us back at the Intercontinental in Johannesburg. I was waiting for Edward to finish up in the shower when there was a knock on the door. I immediately got up to open it.

As the door swung open I caught sight of a bellhop with a cart full of luggage, beside him stood a young girl dressed in a navy blue shirt dress. She wore a big smile on her face.

"You must be Bella! I'm Alice." She didn't bother with a handshake, she gave me a hug instead. "It's so nice to meet you."

"Likewise, Edward talks a lot about you. He's finishing up in the shower."

"Oh, okay, well I'm going to put my stuff in my room. It's just next door. We should room together if you'd like." She made her way down the hall, the bell hop following.

Alice was definitely an energetic individual, she was petite like me, maybe slightly shorter. She wore her hair short which was unusual for a girl her age but it suited her. Her hair was dark, nothing like Edward's rich mix of auburn and red which led me to believe she most likely dyed it. I left the door ajar and went back into the room. I found Edward toweling off his hair. He wore khakis and a white polo, his feet were still bare.

"Alice is here, she is having her luggage placed in her room. She had a ton of suitcases."

"Whoa, she's here early. Yeah, she brings a lot of books and toys to donate to the kids that we work with. I'm sorry I wasn't there to introduce you."

"Don't even worry about it, Alice is so sweet. She invited me to room with her. I think I will."

I heard the suite door close before hearing Alice exclaim, "Great! I love a roomie!"

She ran right past me and into Edward's arms. "Eddie boy, I've missed you!" Edward had picked her up by her waist as she hung from his neck. She kissed his cheek and he gave a hearty laugh before setting her down on her feet.

He pulled her into another hug and kissed the top of her head as he whispered, "I love you Alice but I hate it when you call me that."

"Oh Edward." She playfully slapped his chest.

The scene in front of me was both amusing and endearing. They got on so well and it was obvious that they had nothing but love for one another. Seeing Edward interact with one of the women in his life made me melt. It even made me wish I had a brother.

"So, guys, how about we do dinner and talk about the upcoming week. I plan on sleeping the day away tomorrow so you better get me while I am still able to stand." Alice had a hand on her hip and looked every part the planner Edward said she was. We all agreed to have dinner in the hotel restaurant.

By 8 o'clock Alice had retired for the night and Edward and I were left watching a Bollywood movie in his room. Alice had given me a key to her room but I was hesitant to sleep without Edward. After a week of sharing a bed I didn't want to go back to sleeping alone. I wasn't paying attention to the movie, Armaan was one of my favorites but my distress over our sleeping arrangements had me distracted. So distracted that I hadn't noticed that Edward was staring at me.

"Bella, just for tonight, please stay with me. You'll room with Alice starting tomorrow. But tonight, tonight I want you all to myself."

Without a second thought, I sat up from my place in the bed and moved to straddle him. He immediately groaned and his hands snapped to my hips. We kissed each other fervently. "I would love nothing more than to share your bed tonight," I finally answered.

We made out for hours and it was with red, swollen lips that we fell asleep. Tangled in each other, physically and mentally.

**a/n**

**So I was done with this chapter early. I think I will probably update as often as I can. Worst case scenario would be once a week on Fridays. **

**Anyhow, I didn't go into much detail about their time in Singita, details might emerge in an outtake at some point. I think those two might have gotten into some citrusy business while there...**

**Exciting things are on the horizon for these two. Their remaining week in Johannesburg is going to fly by and then it's back to the States. How will this change things for them?**

**Their travels are far from over, so if you have enjoyed the African setting I can tell you that they will be back here. I plan to introduce more characters in the coming chapters, so stay tuned. **

**Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think so please review. Tell me what you like, what you don't like, what you'd like to see and any questions you may have. **

**Until next time!**

**Abby**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story.I own the sandbox in which they play. **

**Thank you to all who have read, reviewed, put on alert and favorited. **

* * *

><p>"Dad, you are being completely unreasonable. I am perfectly fine where I am."<p>

"Yes, I know I just met him and no I am not sleeping with him. My God, Charlie!"

Bella's hushed yelling was the first thing I heard when I awoke Sunday morning. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before picking up my phone from the nightstand. It was 8:18 in the morning. I was about to roll over and get comfortable when Bella entered the room again.

"Sorry if I woke you. I was trying to be quiet but he made me so mad." She looked furious, her face was painted with rage.

"You call him Charlie?"

She laughed. "Yeah, it's weird huh? I alternate between calling him Charlie and dad. Anyway he's concerned about me. I know he's just being a dad but would it kill him to trust my judgment?"

"He's right to worry Bella. Don't give him a hard time." I motioned for her to rejoin me in the bed. An invitation that she quickly accepted.

"I know, I know, I just get so angry sometimes. I can take care of myself. He lets me live alone and travel alone but somehow being in a hotel alone is not okay because, you know how parents think. It's just one big orgy in here."

Bella sat on the bed with her back against the headboard, her hair was a messy mane that framed her face. I chuckled as I took in her disheveled appearance. One of the things that attracted me to Bella was her unassuming manner, she wasn't the type of girl who was high maintenance. She placed very little emphasis on her looks. She didn't cake her face with makeup and she didn't care to be dressed to the nines every minute of every day. She definitely had a sense of style and she always looked good. She preferred jeans to dresses but maybe that had something to do with her wanting to be comfortable while she traveled.

It was crazy to think that it had been just a little over a week since I had met Bella. We had practically been together ever since. I knew the coming days would go by quickly and that meant we would be going our separate ways. Alice and I were flying back home to Seattle and I wasn't sure where Bella would be heading. Maybe she would visit her mom in Florida.

"Hey, what are you pondering so intently?" she asked while trying to stifle a yawn.

"Nothing, I just spaced out. Are you hungry?"

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

Bella and I looked at eachother and we both laughed. Alice had impeccable timing. I quickly got out of bed to let her in. When I opened the door I wasn't greeted by a bouncing, energetic Alice. Instead I was greeted by a near zombie. She was wearing her favorite sleep shirt, an old gym shirt of mine emblazoned with our last name on the back and black sleep pants. She brushed right past me and didn't even greet me. I shook my head and closed the door.

I walked into the room and found that Alice had made herself quite cozy on my bed.

"Alice, if you're still practically asleep why are you here?" I asked her.

"I'm hungry and I wanted to be where the action is," she mumbled while snuggling deeper into the pillows. Bella sat beside her smirking. She obviously found my sister amusing.

"Let's order some food, Alice is hungry enough to rouse from her hibernation and, Edward, you must be hungry too."

As we finished eating my phone rang and I stepped out into the living area to speak with my dad. After a few minutes of chatting he asked to speak to Alice, I walked back to the room to hand her the phone and found both her and Bella fast asleep on the bed. I promised my dad I would have Alice call them later.

Alice and Bella hadn't interacted much but I could tell they liked eachother. Hell, they were both sleeping in the same bed. I decided to let them sleep and so I made myself comfortable on the couch. I watched a movie and was about to start another one when I heard laughter coming from the bedroom.

"He didn't! Oh my gosh that is so funny! I would have never guessed he had it in him." Bella was laughing so hard she was out of breath. I walked closer to the door, which I had closed so as to not disturb them.

"Yeah, he totally did. Hey, Bella, I know we just met but I have a friend who is designing a clothing line and I think you would be perfect for the runway. Would you consider that? It's over the summer and I'm sure she'd be willing to fly you out."

"Wow, Alice, I'm flattered but I'm not what you usually see walking the runway. I'm no size 2. I'm busty and some might say a little chunky." Bella spoke in an amused tone before adding, "Alice you're model material. You've a great body."

"That is such bullshit. I have no body. I'm short and I am skinny, it's genes and I can't help it. I'd love to have some curves. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find clothes that will fit me? It's a nightmare! Nothing looks good if I can't fill it out. You are just what she's looking for. Would you at least consider trying on some of her clothes? I just know you'd look stunning." Alice was ready to beg, and she was already coming close to doing just that.

"Oh Alice, that is so sweet. I don't know how it all works but you should see me without these clothes, my stomach isn't flat, my thighs rub a tiny bit and I'm not toned at all. Here, look." I swallowed hard as I realized that Bella must be taking off her clothes.

"Bella, you're perfect. Your boobs are perky, your body has a lovely shape. You've let the media corrupt your perception of yourself. You're beautiful and I am not just saying that. Surely you know what a hottie you are. Please model for her. I just know Rosalie would love your look. You've very soulful eyes. They are a very pretty brown too. Oh the pictures will be amazing!" Alice was almost squealing at this point.

"Ha ha, oh Alice you sure know how to build up my confidence. You know what, I'll do it. The world can deal with it if they don't like it." Bella laughed and I heard a smacking sound. Did she spank herself? I shuddered and before I could even think about what I was doing my hand was on the door-handle. I entered the room just as Bella disappeared into the bathroom. I caught a quick glimpse of her, she was wearing panties but her back was missing any evidence of a bra. I couldn't get the image of her pert bottom out of my mind.

"Edward, what the ever loving fuck are you doing?" Alice screeched. "You totally almost intruded on a decidedly no boys allowed moment."

"Uh, I'm sorry. I just, wow. She's beautiful Alice. I'm almost sorry I saw what little I did because it will haunt me forever."

"Edward, quit being such a horn dog." Alice playfully punched my arm before getting out of the bed. "I'm off to shower and dress. I'll be back in a little while. And Edward, don't blow this with Bella. I really like her." With those parting words she was off and I was left mouth still gaping at the memory of Bella's exposed back and round derriere.

Bella was not fat, she was... voluptuous? Curvy? I didn't know how to describe her without sounding like an ass. She was everything I thought of as feminine. She was soft to the touch but still firm and hard. I couldn't wait to put my hands all over her body and explore.

"Alice, wait until you see—" Bella was coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel while working another through her hair. She looked up and jumped back, startled.

"Shit, oh my God I thought Alice would still be here." she started to laugh and her hands instinctively went to secure the towel she had wrapped around her body.

"I'm sorry, I'll give you some privacy." I practically ran from the room. As I closed the door behind me I could hear Bella laughing it up. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself, could I be any more awkward around her?

Moments later she called out to me that it was safe to come inside. I hesitated for a moment before rejoining her in the room. She was wearing a white button down shirt, a man's by the looks of it, and I wasn't sure if she was wearing anything else underneath.

"I have shorts on, and a bra. It looked like you were wondering," she stated matter of factly. She grinned at me before putting a brush to her hair. I didn't know what to say so I stood there like an idiot.

"Edward, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I finally managed to respond. "I'm sorry about earlier, I hope you don't get the wrong idea." I was stammering by this point.

"You're a man, you like to look. I'm flattered that you like to look at me. You make me feel sexy."  
>She was so nonchalant about the whole thing. She liked me looking at her, I made her feel sexy. I was too stunned to say much so I opted for a shower. I needed a cold one, badly.<p>

When I finished with my shower I found Alice back in our room. She was wearing different pajamas. I guess she and Bella had decided they were going to lounge around all day long. I wish they had bothered to tell me.

"Edward you're over dressed. Put on some pj bottoms and a t-shirt. Bella and I were planning to lay around all day. Unless, you wanted to go out somewhere." Alice was munching on something as she spoke.

"I've no problem staying in. I'll change and then we can maybe watch a movie."

"Oooh, I just remembered I brought a few good ones with me. I'll be right back." Alice got up and headed to her room. Bella got out of the bed right after and walked towards me.

"I've been dying to do this since she got here this morning," she whispered almost seductively before kissing me. She stood on tip toes, her hands on the back of my head, fingers laced in my hair. I was caught off guard but my hands still managed to go to her waist. I wanted to rip that shirt off her body but settled for a feel of her bottom. As I began to knead her flesh she reached back and slapped my hand away.

"Greedy," she muttered, her lips still on mine. She broke the kiss, a big smile on her face. "We said we weren't going to rush into anything. Let's keep our wits about us." Her words were gentle, delivered with kindness. I was breathing heavily so I just nodded my acquiescence. I was still standing there, stupefied, when Alice came back with a selection of DVDs.

We watched The Lion King, and by the time it was over it was close to five in the afternoon. We agreed to have dinner in the hotel restaurant but before getting dressed to head down to the lobby Bella and Alice packed up Bella's belongings and moved her into Alice's room. I had mixed feelings about this but kept my mouth shut. Whatever Bella and I had was bordering on inappropriate. We had just met, and we were sharing beds and making out like we were a couple. I wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend but it felt too soon for that. The term also felt childish to me. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. I would have to address them at a later time. In a few days we were going to part ways, once back in a different habitat we could fizzle. I needed to decide what to do with my life and Bella was obviously finishing her degree.

_Ring_

_Ring_

I reached over to the nightstand and answered the phone.

"Edward, what is taking you so long? Bella and I have been down here for over 10 minutes! We are getting a table, come find us." Alice hung up before I had a chance to respond. That was Alice, she was a force at times, very demanding and impatient.

Dinner was an orchestra of food, beverage and conversation. Alice filled me in on some of the happenings back home, thankfully she kept this to a minimum and quickly went on to tell us about the latest gossip at Seattle University. Bella recounted our initial meeting at JFK and Alice listened intently as she proceeded to tell her about how her passport had been stolen. All in all it was a good time. We even stayed for dessert, something Bella and I hadn't indulged in since Moyo.

It was almost 9 o'clock when we finally made our way upstairs. As we reached Alice's door, I felt a wave of unease. This is where Bella and I would part for the night. Alice was quick to catch onto my state of mind and quietly slipped into the room leaving Bella and I alone in the hallway.

"I guess this is goodnight," I said softly.

"I guess it is." She smiled back. "I don't know how I'll ever get to sleep. I'll miss you." She made it so simple, she stated exactly what she was feeling. There was nothing to decipher with her. I kissed her on her cheek before taking her key and opening the door for her.

"Sweet dreams," I said to her while placing her key back into her waiting hand.

"They will be all about you," she replied.

~IC~

"Edward, open up that suitcase and make sure it's the one filled with books. I have another one filled with toys but we won't need that one until tomorrow." Alice was all business this morning. We were in the hotel lobby getting ready to meet up with the folks from LoveLife. Today we would be visiting with some kids who were born to HIV positive parents and were HIV positive themselves. Whenever we came to South Africa we made sure to bring books with us in order to encourage reading. Alice always brought American and British classics but she also made sure to include books by South African authors such as Mark Mathabane, author of Kaffir Boy, Ubuntu as well as African Women: Three Generations. They were among Alice's favorites.

As a big advocate of reading Alice concentrated quite a chunk of our resources on outreach programs that not only provided reading material to local children but also provided education on the AIDS epidemic that they were living in.

We spent about two hours at the school. Bella sat in the middle of a huge circle of nine year olds as she read from Moby Dick. She was glowing with happiness and I was ecstatic at what a natural she was at this. While she and Alice read and handed out books I met with the older kids. A big part of these visits was simply presence. Showing these kids that even though they were HIV positive they were still precious members of society deserving of affection and friendship. Our gifts to them were just a bonus.

Once we had said our goodbyes to the students Bella received a phone call from the consulate. Her passport was ready. She made arrangements to pick it up the following day. A huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders and this meant we would all be able to fly home together on Friday.

Bella was on the phone with her dad when a second call came in.

"Dad, I have another call I'm going to take it so I'll call you later."

"I will dad, I promise. Bye."

She switched to the other call.

"Hello?"

"Jake! Oh, Jake I've missed you. Sorry I've only written, what's up?"

Bella grew quiet, her featured collapsed into a frown. Something was wrong.

Alice had to drag me away to give Bella some privacy. Minutes later Bella approached us. A sad look on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her.

"My house was broken into. They turned everything upside down, ransacked the place. Thankfully Jacob wasn't there when it happened but they hurt my dog. They hurt Nessie!" She started to cry.

"Jacob was staying at my apartment while I traveled because his apartment was being fumigated for termites. It worked out perfectly because Nessie wouldn't have to go to the kennel." Her tears had subsided a little as she explained but returned full force when she mentioned her dog.

"What's Nessie's condition?" Alice had the sense to ask

"Internal bleeding. She's stable for now. The vet thinks she was either kicked or hit with something."

"Oh my goodness, that's horrible. I hope that she will be okay," Alice soothed. "Did they take anything?"

"That's just it, Jacob said they didn't take anything of value. All they took was a framed picture of me that Jacob had taken—oh my God!" Bella gasped, obviously having realized something.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to mask my worry.

"James, fucking James. He always said he'd come back for that picture. He said he'd come back for me." Bella had a murderous look on her face, the name James dripped like venom on her teeth.

Who was James? The only boyfriend she had mentioned to me was that Michael Newtwon. I didn't have much time to ponder, as Bella was back on her phone. She was calling the Consulate, she would need that passport today.

**a/n**

**Thank you for reading! I really hope you'll leave me a review, I don't hear from many readers. I want to know what you like/don't like/ would like to see. **

**You may have noticed that I haven't made much reference to the characters' physical appearance. This has been intentional. This chapter described a Bella that is different from the skinny, firm and flat stomached Bella of most stories. She is not perfect, fresh out of a photoshop screen. I guess this is my way to draw attention to the fact that girls and women are under a lot of pressure to achieve some standard of physical perfection that isn't realistic. I believe that beauty comes in many sizes and I think it's time that we started seeing female main characters that more closely resemble the women who read about them. I've posted pictures of what I was picturing when I described Bella's body on my tumblr. (abbycreations)**

**I have also abstained from going wax poetic about Bella's "deep, chocolate brown eyes" or Edward's "apple green orbs", or about how physically perfect each is to the other. Their features are there but these characters aren't all about that. Sure, Edward likes what he sees and gave us some insight into that in this chapter but the glimpses are small. **

**Anyway, sorry to ramble. Hope to see you again next time!**

**Abby**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story.**

**Thank you for reading, adding to your favorites/alerts and recommending. **

**I love my readers!**

**~IC~**

My thoughts were muddled but I had the presence of mind to get in touch with the Consulate. I needed my passport today. I wanted to get home as soon as possible. Nessie needed me and I needed to be with her and make sure she was all right. I couldn't believe that James had found me and that he'd actually broken into my apartment and hurt my dog.

Nessie, whose full name was Loch Ness Monster was a Rottweiler I had rescued when I first moved to New Orleans. She was only a puppy then but had been abused by her previous owner. I had been hesitant to adopt a big dog and when I set out to adopt I was looking for a smaller dog. Something to keep me company at the apartment. It was my first time living alone and something about having another living creature in the house brought me peace. When I saw Nessie I couldn't look away, she had a majestic aura about her and even though she was still small and far from reaching her adult size she had presence. I remember looking into her big, sad eyes and knowing that there was absolutely no way I was leaving without her.

When I brought her home Jacob was shocked but pleased I had gone with a 'real' dog as he called it. Jacob and I had practically grown up together and he was the closest I ever came to having a brother. After high school he chose to attend Tulane while I stayed behind at U-Dub. I missed Jake terribly and it wasn't long before I was looking into transferring to Tulane. My relationship with Mike just wasn't enough to get me to stay. Moving away sealed our fate and even though Mike has been trying to get back together I know there is no going back for me.

I thought about how lucky I was to have a good friend like Jacob to take care of Nessie while I made my way home. Nessie loved Jacob and the two of them would often go jogging down Saint Charles Avenue whenever we took a trip to Audubon Park. I allowed myself to get lost in these happier thoughts as we drove to the consulate. It wasn't long before we got there and I was thankful that I was distracted enough to not notice how much time had passed. I looked down and my watch, it was almost 3 o'clock when we pulled up to the Consulate. I dashed out of the car as soon as it came to a stop.

I obtained my new passport without incident. When I returned to the car Edward was no longer driving, Alice had taken his place. He had a note pad on his knee and he was scribbling furiously before disconnecting the call.

"Okay," Alice began, "So I take it you want to get home as soon as possible, that's why we are going back to the hotel to get you all packed up then we'll head out to the airport. Edward arranged your flight."

"Thank you so much, I'm sorry I've ruined your day. I really wanted to help out and—"

"Bella, sweetheart, take a breath." Edward turned a little in his seat so he could see me. He gave me a kind smile while my heart beat wildly in my chest at his calling me 'sweetheart'. He had never called me that, he had never called me by any pet name before.

We arrived at the hotel and immediately rushed upstairs, I was spending my time on the phone with Jacob and my dad. I had no idea when my flight left and I didn't want to waste time on the phone while I clumsily packed all my things. Alice, who was both kind and impatient shooed me away and took over the packing while I talked. I didn't know where Edward had disappeared to and was mildly hurt that he wasn't with me during our last moments together.

Alice was as efficient as she was speedy and was done packing all my things just as I managed to get my dad off the phone.

"Come on, Bella, you're all packed let's go."

I silently followed her out of the room and down the hall into the elevator. I wanted to ask Alice about Edward, where the hell was he? This seemed so unlike him to unceremoniously let me go. I closed my eyes and took a breath. I meditated until the ping of the elevator announced that we had arrived. We exited the elevator and headed towards the reception desk.

There, with his backpack swung over his shoulder and his suitcase by his side stood Edward. He was reviewing a document which he then proceeded to sign.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"Checking out, why?" he looked surprised at my question.

"Nothing, I didn't even think. Of course now that I am leaving it only makes sense that you and Alice would share a room." It made perfect sense and it explained why he had his bags with him.

"Actually, I won't be rooming with Alice. She's going to stay here and finish the week we had planned with LoveLife."

My thoughts immediately went to Tanya, he was surely shacking up with her family for the remainder of his stay. Typical guy, screw the volunteering and all that rubbish he fed me. I was such a fool thinking he was different. I was seething and I wasn't sure why, it's not like Edward owed me any explanations or courtesies. I stood before him, looking up at him with what must have been a look of utter disgust.

"Bella? What's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing, sorry, just thinking." I shook my head as if to dislodge the thoughts that had taken residence there.

"Well let's go or we'll miss our plane."

What did he say?

"Our plane?" I inquired. "You're coming too?"

"I know it's rather forward of me and perhaps I acted on impulse but I felt compelled to accompany you. Traveling while worrying is difficult and you shouldn't have to go it alone."

I felt like an imbecile. There I was assuming the worst when he had arranged to come with me. If my subconscious were female, (it's often a computer programmer dressed in jeans and chucks), she would be leering at me over her glasses for effect. As in effectively telling me what a stupid, stupid person I was.

"Edward, I, shit. I, um, I'm really happy we won't be saying goodbye today." I hoped he would overlook my lack of eloquence.

"Trust me Bella, I don't want to be saying goodbye to you, ever." He wrapped his arms around me in a hug.

I was floating.

~IC~

As I had come to accept, Edward had purchased first class tickets for us. He claimed that they were sold out in coach but I knew better than to believe him. I abstained from making my suspicions known and opted for graceful acceptance instead. The seats were just as comfortable on the way home as they were on our trip over here. I gave a little sigh of contentment as I settled in for the long flight. Edward was flipping through a magazine, he looked rather amusing when he was concentrating.

"I want you to stay at my apartment when we get to New Orleans," I said breaking the silence. "I know we haven't defined what we are and I honestly don't care about that. I like you, you like me. We're both adults, I want you to stay with me."

He smiled before responding, "I didn't have reservations at any hotel so I am lucky to have such a lovely host to put me up for a few days."

"I only have one room, one bed."

This time he turned to me and cupped my face in his hand. "I didn't plan on sleeping in any guestroom or pull out couch that you may have," he whispered into my ear.

"How presumptuous," I whispered back.

"Oh you have no idea," he said before kissing me. The kiss was passionate, almost inappropriate for a public location but I didn't care. I kissed him back with abandon.

The flight was uneventful. We had mild turbulence at some point but I managed to sleep through most of it.

~IC~

Jacob met us at the airport. I was a little worried about how he would react to Edward's presence as I hadn't told him I wouldn't be arriving alone.

"Bella!" he called to me when he spotted me coming through the automatic doors. I was in his arms before I was able to determine which way he was coming from.

"It's good to have you home, I'm sorry it's under such shitty circumstances. Nessie is doing well. Vet expects her to make a full recovery."

"That's so great to hear. Thank you for everything Jake, I owe you."

"It's nothing Bella, I would do anything for you, you know that."

"I do," I said. "Jacob, this is Edward."

"Nice to meet you Jacob." Edward put his hand out to greet him. Jacob took it but there was doubt in his eyes.

"Nice to meet you too," he replied. He then grabbed me by the arm and took me aside.

"Bella, what the hell? Is that the guy you met on the flight out there?" He looked incredulous, like he couldn't believe I would bring him here,

"Yes, it is, and you are being very rude right now. I like him, he's a good guy. Please Jacob, I know you worry about me but give him a chance. Get to know him first before you make any judgments. Not that you should be making any judgments at all," I said forcefully. I knew Jacob and I had to stand my ground. The last thing I wanted was to have him go all neanderthal on me. That just wouldn't do.

"I'm sorry. I'll go get the car."

I walked back to where Edward was standing, he was focused on the small screen of his phone. "Sorry about that. Jacob can be a little special." I wrinkled my nose in mock disgust.

Edward looked up from his phone and gave me a smirk. "It's okay, I'm sure he wasn't expecting you to have company. He cares about you, looks out for you and that's a good thing. Don't give him a hard time." His words were almost identical to the ones he had said in reference to my dad. I nodded to him, I couldn't make a verbal promise to not attack Jacob if he continued to be a pain in the ass.

Because it was late we couldn't go see Nessie so Jacob drove us back to my apartment. My apartment was located at 1081 Tchoupitoulas Street, which was part of the Garden District neighborhood of New Orleans. It was in a nice little building that I loved. The apartment had two rooms but only the master was used as such. The second bedroom was my art room slash library. I had a large wooden table along with easels and a wide assortment of acrylics, pastels, paintbrushes, pencils,you name it and I most likely had it. I had covered the walls with my attempts at painting. I didn't think I was much good but I loved to paint, and to me it the process of creating was much more rewarding than the actual finished product. As I thought about my apartment I realized that I left a mess in that room. I also remembered that James had gone through my apartment and likely made an even bigger mess. I groaned silently at the prospect of having to clean up. Then I remembered Edward was with me and he would see the carnage.

As it usually happens when you're too distracted because you're too busy freaking out, we arrived at my apartment before I even had a chance to make conversation with Jake. I had been so busy thinking that we spent the entire car ride in silence. Jacob pulled up to the curb and proceeded to get out of the car. He silently helped Edward unload our bags from the trunk.

"Jacob, can I talk to you for a second," I said to him as I tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

"Sure, Bella what's up?"

I tugged him by his hand to the other side of the car.

"Jake, I don't want things to get weird between us and I don't want you to worry. I know what I am doing. Please trust me. I love you, you're my best friend. I don't want this hanging over my head. I have enough to deal with, we both do."

"I'm sorry I was a dick. Don't worry about us, you and me, we're like two peas in a pod." He pulled me in for a hug. By now, Edward was standing rather uncomfortably on the curb, our bags at his feet.

"Call me when you're up and we'll go see Nessie together," Jacob said softly before waving his goodbye to Edward and getting in his car.

I watched him drive off before turning to Edward, "Okay, let's get you inside. You must be exhausted. I know I am."

I unlocked the front door of the building and showed Edward the way to the stairs. When I was finally at my front door I took a deep breath before unlocking it. I wasn't sure how much damage James had done but I was expecting the worst. I slowly inched the door open figuring it was better to take it all in slowly instead of all at once. The sight that greeted me was not at all what I was expecting. My apartment was pristine.

I gasped as I entered, holding Edward's hand for support. On my dining room table there was a pink pastry box with a note:

_Bella, _

_I couldn't let you come home to the horrible mess that was left here. I documented everything with pictures and video and filed a report with the police of course. Your fridge is stocked with fresh fruit, juice and milk. I also got you a fresh baguette and some cheeses. _

_These special treats are from that little bakery you love to hate. _

_Welcome home. _

_Jake_

I put down the note with tears in my eyes.

"That was really sweet of Jake," I sniffled.

"He's a good friend to you Bella," Edward responded, his hand rubbed my back.

I nodded, thinking about how much had happened in the last week and a half. I dried my eyes on my sleeve before turning to Edward.

"How about we shower and grab a snack before getting some sleep?"

"That sounds good," he said.

I showed him to the bathroom, my favorite room in the house. The claw footed tub and black and white tiles gave it old world charm. The tub and I were best friends, I would sit in it for hours sometimes soothing away pains and aches or a worried mind. I reached into the closet for some towels and washcloths. I set them on the vanity before pulling out my bath salts.

"Want me to run you a bath?" I asked him.

"Only if you're taking one with me," he deadpanned. I could barely contain my gasp or the effect his words had on me physically. I had never bathed with anybody before. Part of me wanted to but that would mean nudity and sex? I contemplated my options before deciding I didn't care. I wanted this moment with Edward.

Instead of answering him I simply started the water and added the salts. Edward was studying me, his expression unreadable. Without breaking eye contact I pulled my shirt over my head, I discarded the shirt on the floor before making quick work of my jeans.

"Bella, I— you don't have to— fuck." Edward was becoming flustered but began following suit. Once we were both in our underwear I couldn't help but notice his obvious appreciation of my near nudity. This gave me the courage to practically rip off my bra and panties. I was stark naked and I didn't even try to cover myself, not even my untrimmed lady bits. I wondered what the protocol for that was. I didn't really groom down there over the winter months and only did so when I would be wearing skimpy bathing suits which I seldom did. I kicked myself for not being more of a girl about this. I was sure he was disgusted.

"So beautiful," he said before pulling down his boxers. His erection was now free and it took a lot of self control to not emit a sound when I saw it out there for the first time. Now I can't tell you that he was well endowed because I haven't seen enough of them to be able to make that kind of determination. I will say that it was prominent but not as intimidating or ugly as I had imagined a live penis to be.

I got into the tub and scooted over to one end, leaving room for him to sit in the other end. He followed me into the tub and once we were situated we filled the room with silence.

"Don't be bashful Bella. I'm honored to have the privilege to worship your body with my eyes. Please don't feel pressured to do anything, let's just relax."

His words were just what I needed to hear. "You are quite the charmer. I'm liking the view myself."

He blushed.

After those first few moments of silence and uncomfortable pauses we both relaxed and began to converse. Edward joked about willing for his dick to go down and I poked fun at my pert nipples that seemed to be reacting to both the chill and Edward's presence. He massaged my feet and lathered my back. Then he did something I wasn't expecting, he washed my hair. Like most people I had my hair washed at the salon many times, but there is something about having someone washing it while you're both naked in a tub. He massaged my scalp so tenderly I almost fell asleep if it weren't for the light kisses he showered on my exposed neck.

Once we were clean and sufficiently pruny we got out of the tub. We dried ourselves in silence, silly smiles on both our faces. He followed me into my room and we both dug around in our respective suitcases for clothes. As I mimicked his endeavor I blushed crimson at the realization that I wasn't in some hotel room. I was at home and I had my entire wardrobe at my disposal. I shook my lapse in cognitive functioning and headed towards the closet. I looked through my drawers but could find nothing that I saw fit to wear around Edward. When had I become so self conscious? I decided on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank, I wore no panties.

Edward stood by the bed with a weary look on his face, his eyes betrayed just how tired he was. He had dressed in navy blue sleep pants and a white under shirt. He was eying my bed lasciviously.

"Go ahead, get under the covers. I promise the sheets are clean."

"What?" He furrowed his brow. "You think I would be concerned about that? Just what kind of a prissy guy do you take me for?" he continued in mock indignation.

I smiled at him, giddy with the anticipation of sharing my bed with him. "I know I promised sustenance but I'm more tired than hungry. Do you mind skipping food for now?"

"Absolutely, I don't think I have the energy to chew."

"Great! I'll be right back."

I went downstairs and made sure the door was locked and the chain was on. Once the lights were turned off I made my way back up and into the bathroom where I brushed my teeth. I was extra thorough and flossed twice. Edward's toothbrush was by the sink, I figured he must have come back while I dressed in the closet.

I entered my room and caught sight of Edward examining the various photographs and artwork that adorned my walls. He was an observer and looked so extremely handsome as he concentrated on whatever he was looking at. I cleared my throat, announcing my presence. He looked towards me briefly but continued his perusal.

My bed was only a full and I worried that he would not be comfortable. I fluffed our pillows and un-tucked the sheets. Jacob made a mean bed and his hospital corners were works of art. Once I was under the covers I began to relax. There is nothing like laying in your own bed with your own pillows. As I got cozy Edward joined me.

"Hey," he said as he nuzzled into my hair. He kissed my head before straightening back up and sitting against the headboard.

"Hey," I whispered somewhat belatedly.

"Well that was a delayed reaction," he scoffed.

"You make me nervous," I replied honestly. I wanted him to touch me, I wanted him to touch me everywhere. I was already so turned on from our time in the tub and I couldn't decide whether to pursue this or not. What did this mean? I wanted to have sex with him but I hardly knew him. He could have sex with me and never see me again, could I live with that? Is that how I wanted my first time to be? As the questions flooded my mind I began to argue with myself. First time sex shouldn't be made into such a big deal. It should be about the moment, what I am feeling right now. I wanted to feel him, his nakedness pressed into me, his hands touching places where foreign hands had never been.

I decided to stop thinking. I moved towards him, I straddled him. I had been doing that a lot lately. He looked up at me, his eyes wide. I took his hand and placed it on my hip. "Kiss me," I demanded.

He didn't hesitate, his lips were on me in a split second. They were soft and hard at the same time. They were forceful. He nipped and pecked at my lips. I struggled to take his bottom lip in between my teeth. I finally succeeded and he hissed. My hands found his hair and tangled themselves in it. I pulled and tugged, my passion being channeled in this way for now. I wanted more, I wanted him to take me, to take his pleasure from me. I wanted so much and yet had no idea what I was doing. I knew in theory but I felt clumsy, like I was stumbling through it.

"Bella," he gasped. "What are we doing?"

"We're—," I took a deep breath between our kisses. "We're kissing."

"I know that but you're grinding on my crotch and damn it, it feels so good. You're torturing me."

I hadn't realized that I was dry humping him like the horny woman that I was. I stilled my movements, and Edward rested his head on my shoulder, his breathing was heavy.

"I want you to be my first," I whispered, shame wanted to color my words but I wouldn't let it. I wouldn't be ashamed to ask for this.

"Now?" he questioned.

"Yes, I want you. If I weren't a virgin, God I hate that word, I would have jumped your bones that first night we slept in the same bed."

"Bella," his hands caressed my face. "I hate to question you, I would be honored to be your first, but I am not the type to take this lightly. I can't take this from you like this. I wouldn't feel right." He hung his head and my frustration grew. I moved off his lap.

"Then don't question me. Please." I was bordering on pathetic, begging for a man to pop my cherry. Didn't they jump at the chance?

In an instant I was on my back, Edward hovered over me and his mouth attacked my lips. We kissed for an eternity, his hands would alternate between caressing my face and palming my breasts. My nipples were so hard they hurt and I was so wet I could feel the wetness on my inner thighs. "Naked, I want you naked," he said huskily. He sat up and helped me with my shirt. Once it was tossed aside he turned his attention to my shorts, he pulled them down and I lifted my butt off the bed so he could slip them off.

Now that I was naked he took a moment to gaze, ogle and eye fuck me? I laughed as I watched him. "You're still dressed," I observed. He moved off the bed and undressed quickly before rejoining me. His hands were immediately on my newly naked breasts. He rubbed my nipple with his thumb and I moaned in approval. His other hand traveled south and became lost in the wetness. His hands were at once torturous and delightful. I had been touched there before but I had never wanted the owner of the hands as much as I wanted Edward. And I wanted him now.

"Edward, please. I'm so ready."

He ran his fingers up my slit once more before removing his hand. He was now face to face with me. His hips between my legs. My legs had parted of their own accord. Years of evolution I thought to myself. Women instinctively know to part their legs. I almost laughed, almost.

He was right there. I could feel the head poking at my opening. I pictured it pushing through, taking my innocence with him. Well, what little innocence I had left. As we kissed and moaned and grunted I expected the moment of impact. The pain, the sting, the invasion. It didn't come.

"Condom, we need a condom," he breathed.

"Pill, I'm on the pill."

"Okay," he kissed me. "Are you sure. I won't mind if we stop now, although it would suck. I want to be inside you so badly." He sounded desperate. He really wanted me, what man wouldn't though, in his position. I shut down my thoughts before they cheapened me further.

"I'm sure, sure about you and us. Whatever we are. I'm sure, I trust you."

And with the uttering of those words he pushed forward. I felt stretching and tugging and pulling. I felt filled as his hardness parted my walls and took residence where nothing but fingers had ever visited. I thought I felt the moment he broke my barrier but I wasn't sure if I was making it up. He stopped once he was fully inside me. Nothing but our breathing filled the silence.

I was thankful that he didn't ask me if I was okay. I am fully capable of speaking and it would stand to reason that if I wasn't okay I would communicate that to him.

After a short while he began to move again, slow and gentle. The slight discomfort gave way to pleasure and I was soon moving and writhing beneath him. We continued to move together for a spell, each enjoying the other. Edward's moans and grunts were incredibly erotic and I new he was chasing his release. I wasn't expecting to come, it felt great but I just wouldn't be getting there tonight.

"I'm going to," he whispered.

"Please, come for me," I whispered back.

As he called out I felt him pulse and throb inside me. A wet warmth filled me and I was in heaven. As his hardness began to soften he pulled out, a small flood following his absence. As I felt his come run out of me I wondered if I had bled.

"Bella," he said as he tried to catch his breath. "That was amazing."

I turned on my side and kissed him on his cheek. "Yes it was."

"Let me get you a wash cloth," he murmured before getting up. He returned with two.

"There's blood on your dick isn't there?" I asked.

He nodded and flicked on the light to show me. I inspected his almost flaccid penis. Streaks of blood decorated it. I took a washcloth and gently wiped him clean before using a washcloth on myself. There was some blood but not much what I was surprised about what all the come I was still leaking. Messier than I thought it would be, but lovely all the same.

Feeling like I couldn't give a fuck about anything I threw the soiled washcloths onto the floor before pulling Edward onto the bed. For the first time in my life, I slept in the nude with a man.

I dreamed of him that night.

**a/n**

**So there you have it, they finally 'did it'! **

**I'm still not very comfortable writing lemons but I gave it my best shot. **

**Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**a/n**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I got sick and it wasn't fun, meds made it worse. Anyway, I'm back to writing. **

**Thank you for reading!**

EPOV

The moment before I took Bella's virginity I hesitated. I almost stopped myself from proceeding out of some misplaced chivalry I suppose. I couldn't explain it to myself but I knew that what I felt for Bella was more than a passing fancy. I really liked her and I wanted to take care of her, to be there for her and to have her be there for me. There was a part of me that kept bringing up the stupid notion that we were moving way too fast. Do people really meet under these circumstances and shortly there after have sex? I wasn't sure how much of my thinking was influenced by societal expectations, or should I say, my perceived societal expectations.

I'm glad I didn't pull away, how would that have made her feel? Perhaps she would have felt rejected, thinking that I didn't want her. More likely though, she would have felt insulted that I didn't think her adult enough, woman enough to dispense with her gifts as she saw fit. I needed to trust her, to trust us to make decisions that were right for us in that moment.

I had never felt as close to a woman as I did the moment I entered her for the first time. Just knowing I was her first did things to me and I feared I would embarrass myself by finishing too quickly. I held it together and believe I did a satisfactory job at least. I wanted to touch her, to help her come but she looked so overwhelmed and happy. I threw my selfish desire to have her come while I was inside her out the window. There would be plenty of time, I hoped, to explore and help her reach her release. I think she knew it too because she wasn't expecting to have an orgasm, she didn't even seem to care about that this time. Anybody who talks about women having orgasms left and right from penetration alone is full of shit. Most women need some sort of clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. I couldn't wait to learn all about Bella and how her body responded.

When I went into the bathroom to get her a washcloth, I didn't expect to see my penis streaked with blood. I had never experienced this before. It was intriguing and arousing. I felt like a bit of a creep, being aroused by the sight of blood on my dick. I guess I was aroused by what it meant.

Bella surprised me by being so nonchalant about it, she even cleaned me off. It was hard to not try for a second round right then. I wanted to have her again, to show her how great sex could be, how much more there was to explore.

Sleep claimed us both shortly thereafter.

~IC~

I woke up the next day extremely hungry and horny. Bella and I had slept naked and her body was pressed deliciously against mine. I decided that before initiating any under the covers entertainment that we should both eat something. I remembered the pastries that Jacob had left for her and decided to make my way downstairs and fix us some breakfast.

I poured us some milk and arranged the pastries on a plate. When I made it back upstairs the bed was empty. I set down the tray and headed to the bathroom. Bella was still naked, brushing her teeth.

"Good morning," I said to her as I kissed her head.

She gave me a toothy smile as she continued to brush.

I picked up my toothbrush and did the same. We brushed our teeth in companionable silence.

Once we both rinsed and wiped our chins I told her about my breakfast in bed idea.

"That sounds delicious. Should I bother to put some clothes on?" She gave me a knowing smile.

"That won't be necessary," I replied.

The pastries were delicious and I wondered why Jacob had said that Bella loved to hate that bakery. I posed my question and Bella laughed.

"I love their pastries, I just hate the lady behind the counter. She can be a real bitch sometimes. Jake makes fun of me because she and I have had words on occasion."

Once the milk and pastries were consumed we found ourselves having a bit of an awkward moment.

"Bella, tell me what's on your mind."

"It's nothing, I was just wondering if it would be too much of a girl thing to ask to define us."

"Are you worried you were just another notch in my belt?"

She was silent.

"No-I mean maybe. Listen I know what this must make me look like, giving up, what do they call it, my 'v-card' so soon after meeting you. Nothing special," she murmured that last bit and I winced at the implication that I would look down upon her over something so wonderful.

"Bella, look at me. I loved making love to you last night. I want to do it again as soon as possible. Nothing you ever give me will ever be perceived to be cheap or dirty or any other adjective that would equate to you putting yourself down. I care very deeply for you and I am honored that you found me worthy of such a gift." I kissed her softly.

"Oh Edward, you are such a good guy," she whispered before kissing me.

She kissed me hard, her lips at once soft and demanding. I kissed her back with the same enthusiasm.

Before I knew it I was pressed against her, her body under mine. I trailed kisses down her neck, between her breasts, all the way down to her navel. As I traveled lower down she stiffened and I stopped.

"Edward, no. Please, I haven't showered and I'm sure I still smell of your come and mine."

She reddened in embarrassment.

"Bella, any evidence of my come won't gross me out. How can it, you brought me pleasure. Please."

I didn't even know if I was making sense, I just wanted her to know that nothing about her body was disgusting to me.

As I continued my journey to the current center of my Earth Bella didn't stop me. Her moans and sighs gave me the green light.

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

"What the fuck?" Bella choked out.

I sat up and listened for additional knocking. Silence.

Bella was already up and wrapping a robe around her. "I'll be right back."

I heard her walk down the stairs, then I heard her front door open and close. Moments later she came back into the room with a large package. She placed it on the bed.

"No return address." she told me as I put my boxers back on.

When she finally tore into the packaging she revealed a beautiful picture of her. It was in black and white. She was a few years younger. It was a candid shot of her laughing. She looked sublime. The picture was mounted on a white mat and the frame was black.

"This must be from James. This is the picture he took. I wonder what he wanted with it and why send it back?"

"Bella what's the story with this James, he an ex boyfriend or something?"

"God no. We never dated or anything. We had friends in common, hung out during high school. He got rowdy and too crazy for us so I ratted him out. Went to juvie for a while. I helped put him there. This picture used to hang in Jacob's basement. That's where we hung out. Anyway when he was put away he told me he would come back for me and that picture. I never understood why."

"Why did Jacob keep a picture of you in his basement?"

"He had a picture of every person in our little group. He's a great photographer. We put them up together and thought ourselves so cool. When we all graduated high school Jacob gave us each our picture. Like a little memento of where we spent so much time together." She smiled but had a far away look in her eyes, the look one gets when recalling pleasant memories.

"Let's go shower." She winked at me.

"Lead the way," I told her.

**A/n:**

**Thanks for reading. I hope to update again over the weekend. **

**Happy Friday!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_When the water starts boiling it is foolish to turn off the heat._ - Nelson Mandela

**Thank you to all those who read, review, add to favorites and alerts. While I write for fun I do love feedback and of course sharing :)**

**Thank you to cullengirl08, kcmbrown2445, Kate Marlin, margaretthelibrarian and pillow912 for your reviews. I really appreciate them!**

**I want to extend a very special thanks to EMILY93 for her awesome and lovely words. It's been so great chatting over Twitter. She has graciously agreed to pre read for me and I am oh so grateful that she is so generous with her time. **

**Come find me on Twitter, abbycreations. **

**EPOV**

~IC~

"Edward!" Bella called out to me from her closet. "We need to go see Nessie, the vet agreed to let me see her whenever I managed to get there. Maybe we should go to Cafe du Monde before we head on over."

I smiled to myself as I tried to make the bed. I wasn't doing a very good job and I was growing frustrated.

"What are you doing? You're a guest here Edward. You don't need to make the bed. Besides, I need to change the sheets," she paused before continuing, "They are soiled." She looked the tiniest bit embarrassed.

"I changed the sheets and the other ones are in the laundry room. I poked around for your linens. I hope you don't mind."

Bella was sporting the biggest smile when she finally spoke, "Thank you, of course I don't mind. That was very nice of you. Very magnanimous of you." She stood up on her toes and gave me a kiss on my nose.

A few minutes later we were in Bella's car and on our way down to the French Quarter to Cafe du Monde. Cafe au lait and beignets were a welcome treat as I was hungry and jet lagged. It was funny that Bella and I had the same rituals whenever we returned from a trip over seas. For as long as I lived in New Orleans I always went there on my first day back. I thought back to my apartment and was glad that I had sublet it for the summer, gave me an excuse to crash over at Bella's. I briefly wondered if she remembered that New Orleans was home to both of us.

"Earth to Edward!" she exclaimed playfully. "You were lost in thought over there. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing much, I was just thinking about my apartment here and about how I always visit Cafe du Monde whenever I get back into town."

"You know yesterday I almost pointed out sights to you on our way over to my apartment. I am so glad I spaced out because I would have clearly made a fool of myself." She laughed heartily at her near gaffe.

She managed to find a parking spot right on Decatur Street, as I exited the car the smell of coffee and chicory assaulted my senses in the most delectable way. It appeared to have the same effect on Bella as she hastily made her way into the cafe.

"We're covered in powdered sugar! Always my favorite part of coming here, you haven't had fun unless you've made a mess."

"I didn't fare too badly," I responded as I glanced down at my lap.

"I want us to talk about what's going to happen here." Bella was suddenly serious.

I swallowed a mouthful of coffee as I contemplated the woman before me. Her features were relaxed, nothing betrayed any nervousness or apprehension. She just wanted to have an honest talk about what we were doing.

"I'd like for us to be an item, I'm sure you'll be agreeable to that." I smiled at her with a raised eyebrow, silently challenging her to prove me wrong.

"Oh I'm very agreeable, you know that. What are you going to do for the rest of the summer, and will you move back here in the fall? I just want to know what is ahead of us."

"I'm going home to Seattle for the summer and I honestly didn't have any concrete plans for the fall. That was before I met you. Now I find myself unwilling to leave New Orleans."

She looked at me as she continued to sip her coffee.

"Bella, I'd like for us to be exclusive and even though it sounds beneath us I have to ask you. Would you be my girlfriend?"

She smiled brightly and leaned over the table, she took my hand in hers.

"I'd really like that."

~IC~

Four days later I was back at the airport waiting for my flight home. Saying goodbye to Bella was hard but she made it easy on me. She made it easy on both of us by remaining jovial about the whole thing. I could tell she was putting on an act but didn't question her on this. I held her, kissed her and committed her scent to memory as best I could.

The days preceding my departure were very relaxing. Nessie came home on Monday afternoon. She was a beautiful dog and much gentler than her size might lead you to believe. As soon as Bella got her home she looked instantly more relaxed, like a missing piece had been restored to her life.

We spent the remainder of our time together at Bella's apartment. We hardly ventured anywhere on account of Nessie. She still needed rest and supervision. I didn't mind at all. Every moment spent with Bella was precious to me. I loved having her as my girlfriend, while a tad premature, I truly felt that we were ready to be exclusive and embark on a relationship.

We parted after exchanging e-mail addresses and Skype account information. We had also made plans, at Alice's insistence, for Bella to come out to Seattle in order to model for Rosalie's line. Rosalie Hale was a budding designer and fashionista. She had been Alice's best friend for as long as I could remember. They were opposites in almost every sense. Rosalie was tall and blonde, Alice was short with dark hair, then there were differences in their personalities. While Alice was certainly bubbly and outgoing, she was also a lot more reserved than Rosalie.

While I waited for my flight to be called I checked my e-mail. It was mostly junk but I had mail from Alice, and Bella.

I decided to read Alice's first as I figured that it would necessitate a short reply.

**To****:** Edward Cullen  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Alice Cullen  
><strong>Subject<strong>**:** Update

_Hey Edward, _

_I was wondering if Bella had booked her flight to Seattle. If so, please send me her itinerary. Rosalie is planning her next showing around her arrival. _

_The week at LoveLife has been amazing. I'm sad to be leaving tomorrow. _

_See you at home. _

_Love, _

_Alice_

I composed a quick reply.

**To****:** Alice Cullen  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Edward Cullen  
><strong>Subject<strong>**:** Re: Update

_Hey sis, Bella is coming out in about two weeks. I believe she arrives the first week of July. We looked at tickets but she didn't let me buy it so I don't have an exact date. _

_I'm sorry that we didn't get to spend much time together in Jo'burg. Thank you for being so understanding. Incidentally, thank you for being so welcoming to Bella. I would never expect anything less from you but it's still nice to acknowledge my gratitude. _

_Safe travels. _

_Edward _

Bella's e-mail sent my heart aflutter and I could barely wait for the e-mail to load onto my tiny screen.

**To****:** Edward Cullen  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Isabella Swan  
><strong>Subject<strong>**:** (none)

_I'm sorry to write to soon after saying goodbye at the airport. I hope you don't think I'm clingy. Anyway I just wanted to tell you I miss you already and I also wanted to write you so you'd have my address. _

_Also, my Skype handle is b_cygnus1805. I think I gave you the wrong one. _

_Hope your flight is pleasant. _

_Bella_

**To****:** Isabella Swan  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Edward Cullen  
><strong>Subject<strong>**:** Re:

_Bella, _

_Never apologize for communicating with me, I was ecstatic to have received your e-mail. I miss you too and I cannot wait to see you in a few weeks. _

_Here's my skype account name: EACullen23_

_I'm getting ready to board my plane. I will call you as soon as I land. _

_Edward_

I turned off my phone as I made my way to the gate.

~IC~

BPOV

"Bella you finally gave it up!" Jacob exclaimed as soon as I opened the front door. He wasn't judging me, he was simply stating a fact.

"Jake, seriously. What kind of a greeting is that? And out where people can hear you! My neighbors will think I'm nothing but a strumpet, a trollop!"

He had the gall to laugh as I did my best to be stern.

"Oh Bella you're no such thing and you know it. Now tell me everything."

"I most certainly will not tell you everything, or anything for that matter."

"So you _did_ have sex!"

Crap. Now he really wouldn't lay off me. Before he was just probing, not I've confirmed his suspicions.

"Fine, you want details. Yes, I had sex with him and it was wonderful."

Jake smiled smugly as he made himself comfortable on my couch. "Is it safe to sit here?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"My god, what did you think we did? Christen every surface of the apartment? Of course it's safe to sit there!"

He chuckled at my outburst while molding one of my decorative pillows into something that he found suitable to cradle his thick skull.

"So spill the beans you wanton hussy."

"What did you just call me?" My giggles were impossible to suppress. "You are too much sometimes you know that."

"Bella I'm only mildly joking. Tell me what this ruffian did to win you over. Your legs were locked tighter than Fort Knox, also known as the United States Bullion Depository."

"First of all, Edward is no ruffian and secondly, quit showing off your knowledge of useless trivia. Now as for the information you so desperately wish for me to divulge, yes we had sex. It was wonderful and that's all you need to know. Honestly Jake, I really like him, even though I haven't known him for very long. He's special, I don't want to wax poetic about all the things that make him wonderful but suffice to say that he is everything a girl could want in a man."

"Well damn Bella. This is for real. I'm really happy for you." He smiled at me, it was a genuine smile, one that told me that I had his full support and best wishes.

We talked and joked for a couple of hours, taking breaks to check on Nessie and take her out for brief strolls. She was recovering very well but still slept for most of the day. The vet told us that she would be very tired. Dogs always found it stressful to be in an alien environment, especially when they were not feeling well. The fact that she had been attacked during a home invasion while I was out of town probably taxed her further. I was glad that she had Jake taking care of her, those two were like two peas in a pod and it often felt like she was more Jake's dog than mine.

Later that evening I found myself alone. I finally unpacked my suitcases and started sorting my dirty laundry, it was a laborious task as I had quite a lot of clothes to wash and I could never remember which articles require hand washing or dry cleaning so I always had to read most of the tags. Once I reached the bottom of my laundry basket I decided to check the time. It was just after six o'clock and I hadn't eaten since lunch.

I didn't feel like cooking so I ordered a pizza. I was just about to measure out some laundry detergent when my phone rang. It was Edward. My smile was so huge it hurt my face.

"Hello!" I greeted him excitedly.

"Hey Bella. Are you busy?"

"Just doing some laundry, how was your flight?"

"It was good I guess. I slept through most of it." He sounded exhausted.

"You sound like you're ready for bed."

"I am a little tired. I'm at the baggage claim, waiting."

"That's the worst part of traveling, collecting your bags." I was now making inane conversation and I was beginning to panic. Could we seriously go long distance after so little time together?

"Bella? Are you alright?" he must have noticed the lull in the conversation and I realized I had probably remained silent for longer than I thought.

"Yeah, sorry I was just checking on Nessie." I lied.

"How is she? I should probably let you go. I'll call you once I am at home."

"She's doing well and that would be lovely. I will speak to you soon."

"Bye Bella."

"Bye Edward."

The line went dead and I sighed. I was beginning to look at the distance between us as a huge negative. When did I become so self conscious and unable to carry a conversation? I had never felt awkward around Edward but suddenly talking on the phone was too much. I shook my head at myself as I walked back into the laundry room. I hoped that housework would take my mind off things. 

~IC~

By nine I had already eaten, done most of the laundry and showered. Edward had texted me that he wasn't feeling well and was going to bed. We promised to call each other the next day. With nothing to do I felt incredibly bored and lonely.

My current mood could only be remedied by one thing: deep cleaning. For some reason I always found cleaning to be very soothing whenever I was angry, stressed or upset about something. I suppose that cleaning is very symbolic and maybe I feel that as I clean my home I am also cleaning my life, mind and thoughts of what ails me. Or maybe the simple act of accomplishing something and bringing order to my life somehow permeates to my psyche. Whatever the explanation, there was no denying that a little cleaning would make me feel better.

Four hours later I had clearly lost my mind and gone overboard. I scrubbed the floors, dusted the blinds, sanitized the bathroom and basically wiped down every surface of my apartment. I was a sweaty mess but I felt great. I decided to shower again before watching a movie. Night owl is the only way to describe my sleeping habits; 3 a.m. bedtime here I come!

I didn't make it to bed at 3 a.m., it wasn't until close to 4 a.m. that I had showered and ready for bed. It felt good to snuggle into the sheets, the peace created by the cleanliness and organization was like a lullaby. It silently sang me to sleep.

It was 11:30 when Nessie nuzzled me and woke me up. I groggily went downstairs to feed her and let  
>her out. When I realized that I hadn't heard from Edward I decided to give him a call. His phone went straight to voice-mail. I decided to send him a quick text message asking him if he was feeling any better.<p>

That too went unanswered.

I was starting to worry about him but decided not to give in to my panic. I fixed myself some brunch and settled on the couch to watch TV. I needed a distraction but couldn't find any programming that held my attention for very long. I spent a couple of hours mindlessly folding laundry and pretending to give a damn about whatever was on the television. At 2 o'clock I sent Edward an e-mail.

**To****:** Edward Cullen  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Isabella Swan  
><strong>Subject<strong>**:** I hope you're okay

_Edward,_

_I hope I am worrying needlessly but I haven't been able to reach you all day. I know you weren't feeling well when we last spoke yesterday. Please call me when you have a chance._

_-Bella_

By six I was a mess. I had tried calling Edward once more and left him a message on his voice-mail. Part of me worried that Edward was getting rid of me and I felt like such a fool for ever believing that he actually wanted me. The more adult and rational part of my brain told me that there was likely a perfectly good explanation and that I needed to calm down. I tried to hold off on calling him again, not wanting to appear like a psychotic person but I was only able to hold out until 6:35.

I dialed his number expecting his voice-mail again but was surprised to hear line ring. Thank god.

"Hello." the voice sounded half asleep, almost drugged.

"Hello, Edward? It's Bella." I heard the shakiness in my own voice. I felt my heart in my throat.

"Yes, Bella how are you?" It sounded as if he was struggling to speak. What the hell happened?

"How am I? Edward I am worried. What happened to you?" I felt my eyes water.

"I had emergency surgery, my appendix. I wasn't feeling well when I got home yesterday. Everything went to shit today. I wanted to let you know but my phone died and I just recently got the charger from my dad. Bella I am so sorry to have worried you."

"Oh sweets, I am sorry you've had such a shitty day. I am relieved to hear you're okay. You sound like you should be resting so I'll let you go. Call me when you're up for it."

"I will. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

As soon as I hung up I burst into tears. I cried because I was relieved, I cried because I wanted to be there with him. But most of all, I cried because I was falling for him, hard and fast. 

~IC~

That night I thought back to our time together.

Edward stood at the foot of the bed while I lay on the edge, my legs around his waist. This was the second time we were together like this. It felt good to have him inside me but it didn't feel good enough to make me orgasm.

"Bella, touch yourself. Touch yourself like you would if I weren't here." Edward's voice was husky, his arousal evident in his tone.

I felt myself blush, even though I had no qualms about admitting to masturbating putting it all out there made me bashful.

Edward's movements were controlled, gentle. He was clearly holding back, prolonging his pleasure, delaying his climax. I slowly moved my hand to my clit and began to touch myself. It felt amazing and suddenly I was reaching for something, it was building and I was flying, hurdling through space like a meteorite.

Then I heard it, a vulgar noise that was decidedly unsexy. Had I passed gas? Had Edward? I immediately stopped my ministrations and covered my face. My embarrassment sucking the moment right out. Edward noticed and stilled his movements, still inside me he inquired.

"Bella, are you alright?"

"Did you hear that?" I exclaimed. "Oh my god kill me now."

"Oh that, Bella, it happens." He pulled out of me and lay down beside me on the bed. He pulled me close to him as I still felt mortified and couldn't bear to look at him. Why wasn't this perfect? In all the crap I've seen and read nobody talks about the dirty side of sex. The embarrassing moments, the awkward shit that happens when one is joined at the privates.

Edward held me and kissed my hair while I kept my face buried in his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm not good at this," I whispered.

"There is nothing to be sorry for Bella. This stuff happens when you're being intimate. I believe it's called a quee..."

"Please don't say it, please don't say the word. I can't deal with it." I pleaded as I covered my ears.

He laughed and held me tighter.

"I look forward to sharing more embarrassing moments with you in the bedroom. I also look forward to hearing any more quee..."

"No!" I bellowed trying to fight the laughter that threatened to escape me.

Soon we found ourselves resuming our previous endeavors. No unseemly sounds punctuated our lovemaking and I had an orgasm. It was amazing.

**End notes:**

**Sometimes, actually most of the time, sex isn't perfect and we have to laugh through the awkward moments. Easier said than done at times.**

**Remember that fanfiction, is just that: fiction. You should never have unprotected sex with anybody unless you know for a fact that they are clean. Get tested and swap results. Be safe! Also, a lot of the lemons I read here are wonderfully outrageous and not often based in reality.**  
><strong>Anybody out there ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, please share some of what you did to make it work.<strong>

**Thank you for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

_**a/n **_

_**For those of you keeping track, my posting schedule is pretty much non-existent. My intention was to post weekly but that's not always possible. **_

_**Thank you so much for reading, adding to favorites and alerts! **_

_**Thank you to EMILY93 for being the very best beta I could ask for. I've so enjoyed getting to know you and receiving feedback from you. I cannot adequately express my gratitude in written form.**_

_**For those of you so inclined, my Twitter: abbycreations**_

_***If you read this when the bits in italics were wonky, I am so sorry! I have no idea what happened. I'll attribute it to the many shortcomings of FFN ;) ***_

_**~IC~**_

After briefly speaking with Bella I tried to settle down for the night. The three small incisions in my abdomen hurt only mildly. I suspected that medication was to thank for that. Being that I was not in any pain, my thoughts turned to Bella, she had sounded so distraught in her message to me. I felt like a complete cad for causing her anguish but it couldn't be helped. I had woken up with a terrible pain in my abdomen as well as some other unsavory symptoms. It was madness from there. I hated hospitals and my parents had to practically force me to go. By the time I was admitted my phone was dead and I hadn't brought the charger with me.  
>I checked my e-mails and saw that Bella had written to me. I decided to take some time to write her since we hadn't been able to talk much since I left.<p>

**To****:** Isabella Swan  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Edward Cullen  
><strong>Subject<strong>**:** Re: I hope you're okay

_Dear Bella,_

_I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly sorry I am to have worried you. As soon as I awoke from surgery my thoughts were of you._  
><em>I know we just defined our relationship and made it official but I feel like you've been a part of my life for a long time. I think that I will return to New Orleans at the end of the summer, possibly even before then. I just can't bear to be away from you and I don't think it would be good for our relationship, especially in light of the fact that we just started going out.<em>

_There is still so much to learn about one another and it will be easier if we do so while living in the same city. Granted, however, that I tend to be slightly more verbose in writing so perhaps the e-mails will be helpful to you.__I want you to know that you can ask me anything._

_I hope you're able to rest, I find myself missing sleeping beside you._

_Edward_

I was released from the hospital late the next day. I had a little difficulty ambulating and walked hunched over. When I got home Alice had just arrived.  
>"Edward! Oh my gosh. Mom and dad just told me what happened. What rotten luck to have a bum appendix." She leaned into my side so as to offer support as I walked to my bedroom.<p>

"Tell me about it. I feel like roadkill."

When we reached my room I painstakingly lowered myself onto the bed. The discomfort was almost unbearable and I winced as I made myself comfortable. Alice grimaced, as if witnessing my pain somehow produced symptoms within her own body.  
>I had spoken to Bella shortly before being released from the hospital. She was going to be babysitting for the rest of the day and evening.<p>

"Alice, could you please get my laptop for me. It should still be in my backpack."

"Sure," she replied as she made her way into my closet. "Have you spoken with Bella today? I wanted to talk to her about her trip here."

"I talked to her briefly earlier. She's babysitting tonight. I probably won't speak to her again until tomorrow, unless she calls once the kids go down for the night."

"I see-" she trailed off and looked at me questioningly. The look faded quickly as if she had changed her mind about saying whatever it is that she had intended to say.

"Alice, spit it out before you choke on it," I said, my irritation evident in my tone.

"It's nothing, I was just wondering if you managed to corrupt Bella. I know it's gross and all since you're my brother but we bonded and we talked about things. Girl things, you know."

"Goodness Alice, you are nosy. I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you but feel free to ask Bella. In fact, take her number so you two can keep in touch. She has been asking about you as well." I smiled at her, trying not to focus on the pain I was experiencing. I had a low tolerance

for it.

I powered up my laptop and quickly checked my e-mails.

**To****:** Edward Cullen  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Isabella Swan  
><strong>Subject<strong>**:** I miss you!

_Dear Edward,_

_I hope you're feeling well, or at least, as well as can be expected given your recent surgery. I still have my appendix. I don't think I know very many people who have had theirs removed. Anyhow, as you know I am babysitting. The boys are 8 and 4. They are usually well behaved. I have been sitting for this family since I first moved to New Orleans. Meeting this family was a happy __accident. I am lucky to have found them._

_I enjoy reading anything that you write so feel free to share as much as you like. I can't think of any questions and I certainly don't want to ask the cliched staples such as, favorite color, movie, music etc. I will go ahead and share some facts about myself which you may find to be deal breakers for you. I'll list 5 things, maybe you can respond in kind. :)_

_1. I am currently watching Finding Nemo with the boys. They did not choose this movie as they graciously allowed me to make the selection._  
><em>2. I'm not a girly girl. I use pink sparingly.<em>  
><em>3. I don't believe in happy endings, or fairy tales.<em>  
><em>4. I love crème brûlée.<em>  
><em>5. I read smut. Often.<em>

_I won't overwhelm you with my musings, I hope you're resting comfortably. Please let me know if Alice made it home all right and give her my number, although I am sure that by now she has already asked you for mine._

_Missing you terribly,_  
><em>Bella<em>

After reading the fifth point in her sordid list of possible deal breakers my mind went completely blank. What did she mean she reads smut often? I certainly knew what smut referred to, something obscene or pornographic, but how does one read smut. In the form of erotic literature perhaps? I was intrigued and a little turned on. Well, to be honest I was a lot turned on. I immediately composed my response.

**To:** Isabella Swan  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Edward Cullen

**Subject****:** Re: I miss you!

_Dearest Bella, _

_I hope you're well. Your e-mail was well received and distracted me from the discomfort I am constantly feeling. I have to tell you that nothing you share with me will be a deal breaker, and certainly none of the silly things you mentioned inyour list. I assume you said that in jest. _

_In any event, number five on your list piqued my curiosity. What do you mean you read smut often? Do you enjoy erotic literature, or is there another form in which to consume said smut? At the risk of sounding crass and vulgar, I have to ask, do you fantasize about me when you read said smut? I must admit I have smutty thoughts and they all involve you. _  
><em>Why don't you believe in fairy tales and happy endings? Do you expect things to go to hell in a hand basket? It surprises me that you are such a pessimist, does this view pertain to relationships only? <em>

_Here are five facts about me:_  
><em>1. I love making cookies from scratch and I know a chocolate chip cookie recipe by heart. <em>  
><em>2. I've never had a real girlfriend until now. <em>  
><em>3. My family is the most important thing in my life, they cannot be replaced. <em>  
><em>4. I love pink on you, particularly on your cheeks. <em>  
><em>5. Dinner at Moyo was the best dinner I have ever had and it has nothing to do with the food. As delicious as it was. <em>  
><em>I think I am jealous of the two boys that get your undivided attention tonight. I can't wait to hear from you. <em>

_Edward_

After hitting send I closed the lid of my laptop and lay back on the pillows. It was only 5pm and I was feeling drowsy. I decided that a nap wouldn't hurt and so I allowed myself to drift off.  
>The ring of my cell awoke me, I looked to my alarm clock, it was just after 8pm. I slowly sat up and patted my pockets for my phone.<br>"Hello." I managed to say, my voice thick with sleep.

"Oh Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be asleep. I'm so sorry I woke you."

"It's okay, I was dreaming of you anyway."

"That is so sweet, and a little cheesy," she teased.

"Are you still babysitting?"

"Yes, Iam still here. The boys fell asleep a little while ago. I put away all the toys and cleaned up somewhat. I'm sure the parents will be too tired to pick up after them." She sounded a little tired herself.

"When are they due back?"

"I don't know, maybe in a couple of hours. I usually spend the night in their guest room, they don't like me to drive home by myself late at night." I was immensely relieved to hear that, especially since James could be lurking about. I still didn't understand that entire situation but didn't want to bring that up now.

We chatted for about a half hour until one of the kids woke up with a sore stomach. We quickly said our goodbyes so that Bella could take care of the little guy.

The next day Bella called me when she got home. Her Internet wasn't working and so she hadn't responded to my e-mail. Even though she could check her e-mails from her phone, composing a lengthy response was better done from a laptop.

This conversation would go down as one of the most awkward conversations in history, as Bella attempted to seduce me into a game of phone sex. Neither of us were comfortable enough and fumbled through the entire attempt.

"Okay, what are you wearing?" I asked, deciding to play along.

"Um, I'm actually wearing jeans and a shirt but that's not very sexy so let's pretend I am wearing a matching bra and pantie set."

"Bella, how about you actually wear that?" I asked, amused.

"Well what difference would that make. You can't see me."

"I know but it would add authenticity."

"Okay, what are you wearing?" she asked nervously.

"What would you like me to be wearing?"

She was silent for a moment. "Shit, um, Edward I can't do this. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I can't do this either. I just wanted to see how committed you were to this whole phone sex attempt." I tried to keep the laughter out of my voice.

"Ugh, I am going to kill Jacob. He made it sound like it's so easy and necessary for the whole long distance relationshipthing." 

~IC~

BPOV

How do I explain smut to Edward? I had been pondering this for a while as I stared at his e-mail on my screen. I felt more than a little silly for sharing that, mostly because I only did it for shock value. I didn't want to appear vapid. I wanted to keep Edward interested and figured that a suggestive revelation was just the ticket.

I was surprised that he had not brought this up during our telephone conversations. I cringed at the painful memory of our failed attempts at phone sex. Yes, attempts, as in multiple times. I was always the one to initiate, ever the wanton hussy I tried to sexy my voice and entice him. I failed horribly, mostly because I was a nervous wreck but also because I found it terribly funny that Edward never seemed to know what to do either. He would start off strong but eventually fumble. I was guilty of stereotyping him because he was male, I assumed that he was constantly sex crazed. I briefly contemplated sending him some naughty pictures but dissuaded myself promptly. It would be just my luck to have to photos accidentally end up for public consumption, not to mention the fact that it just wasn't me. At least not at this point in my life.

**To****:** Edward Cullen  
><strong>From<strong>**:** Isabella Swan  
><strong>Subject<strong>**:** Re: Re: I miss you!

Dear Edward,

_Wow, how do I explain smut, well I guess you already know it's porny literature. Actually, not literature, that makes it sound classy and cultured. It is decidedly neither of those things. It's mainly stories by wannabe writers, usually love stories with graphic descriptions of couplings. Sometimes they have a plot but for the most part the lemons are gratuitous. Lemons, that's what said graphic sex scenes are called in the crazy, completely unoriginal world in which these stories exist. _

_I read this garbage online and I love it. I can't explain it, some of the stories are lovely and well thought out. I sometimes skip the sex because it gets to be too much, especially now that I've experienced the real thing. These writers lie! Or maybe they have no experience and so they've been led astray by those who know better but decide to lie anyway. _  
><em>In answer to your question, yes, I have thought about you as I read these naughty scenes. I usually wonder if what is described is possible and then I try to picture us acting it out. If you could see me now you'd see no difference between my face and a tomato. I'm mortified by my admissions and confessions but I can't seem to stop myself from sharing this with you. I want to be known by you, in every way. <em>

_I don't believe in happy endings... this is a misleading statement because I do believe that they are possible. I just don't believe in expecting them. If people just assume that things will work out, they become complacent. I don't want to become complacent, relationships need to be cherished and nurtured. Always. _  
><em>I've two comments to make about your list, first of all, I must taste these cookies you speak of. Perhaps you could forward me the recipe? Secondly (this is more of a question in response to #4,) what exactly have I done to deserve a spanking? <em>

_Bella_

I was more than a little pleased with myself, that e-mail was sure to get Edward all worked up. It had been roughly about two weeks since he left New Orleans and I was anxious to see him again. Even though he had mentioned returning by the end of the summer I knew that everything was still up in the air. It was both exciting and terrifying for I had never wanted anything more than to be with him. This realization hit me hard, I had always been so fiercely independent and often thought relationships to be beneath me. I was not some needy, dependent person. I was a modern woman who did not need a man. And I truly didn't because it wasn't a case of needing him, I wanted him. With every fiber of my being. To me that made a huge difference. Things that we need become mundane, we need them, we get them and so what? But the things we want, well, we take care of those much better because they usually require some effort to obtain. On the other hand if you don't really need something then why have it in the first place?  
>I needed to reconcile my idea of needing and wanting Edward. I knew I wanted him but could I admit to myself that I needed him, too? <p>

~IC~

"The two sticks of unsalted butter need to be at room temperature before you whip it," I read Edward's recipe out loud to Jacob who had humored me by coming over for an impromptu soiree in my kitchen.

He was wearing one of my aprons and looked ridiculous.

"Okay, butter is at room temperature and soft. I'm dumping it into the mixing bowl," he announced.

"Right, now whisk it for about two minutes," I said as I turned the mixer on. We both watched the butter turn a lighter shade of yellow as it took in air.

"What's next Bella?" Jacob asked excitedly.

"Now we add in the sugar, I'll pour in the regular sugar and you take the light brown sugar. Okay sugga'?" I said that last part in my best southern accent. Jacob rolled his eyes at me.

Next we added in the two eggs, one at a time, followed by the vanilla extract. Edward had insisted I use Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla Extract, he even mailed me a bottle of it along with what could be interpreted as an insulting poem by Robert Herrick. What possessed him to write out To Dianeme is beyond me, it just goes to show that copying the first poem you come upon in a compendium is both misguided and ignorant. I knew his heart was in the right place and so I treasured his little scribble.

"More chocolate chips Bella, the recipe calls for three cups and you've barely added two! I want the full effect," Jacob whined.

"Fine!" I exclaimed to him while I measured out another cup of semi sweet chocolate chips. I had splurged on Ghirardelli and I was desperate to taste the finished product as much as Jacob.

Twenty minutes later we were munching on the first batch of cookies.

"Fuck, Bella, these are delicious. I'd give Edward the credit but he didn't do shit. We did all the work and can I just say we make a damn good team in the kitchen?"

"I'll say, I have flour in my hair, smears of butter on my face, sure we make a great team. Had the objective been to bathe in ingredients." I was about to go on and on about how messy he had managed to get us when my phone rang. I quickly made a move from the kitchen to retrieve my phone from my bag. I glanced at the caller ID and smiled to myself before accepting the call and placing the phone to my ear to speak.

"Alice! How are you?" I queried. I was happy to be hearing from Alice again. She was fast becoming a good friend of mine.

"In stealth mode, Bella."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I had spoken to Alice intermittently over the last few weeks, she had proven to be slightly eccentric at times but always delightful.

"I'm flying you out here next week for Rose's fashion show but I don't want Edward to know. Are you up for a little secret keeping?" She sounded mischievous.

"I sure am but I'm paying for my ticket," I quickly protested.

"Sorry doll, you're already a day late and a buck short. A courier will be by your place tomorrow to drop off the tickets and things."

"Things!" I yelled.

"Alice, you better not have sent over the equivalent of a trousseau!"

She had the gall to laugh at my outburst. "Oh Bella, you are so much fun. I am thrilled to finally have a sister. I have to go, I'll call you soon. Bye!"

The next day I received my tickets along with a box of toys for Nessie and snacks for Jacob. Alice had rightly guessed that Jake would be taking care of Nessie during my trip. He was immediately enamoured by her gesture and could hardly wait to sink his teeth into the vast array of junk food Alice had so kindly provided.

~IC~

_I just landed! - Bella_

_Yay! I will meet you at baggage claim. Edward is going to go nuts. He thinks we are here to pick up a friend of mine. He has no idea it's you! - Alice_

_I can't wait! - Bella_

I was a ball of nerves as I made my way to the baggage claim. I was shaking like a leaf but I wore a huge smile that made my entire face ache.

When I finally laid eyes on him, his back turned to me, I felt my eyes fill up and water prickle my cheeks. When I approached him my heart pounded in my chest. When I wrapped my arms around him, I was home.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**a/n**

**Thank you to mwah79 for the wonderful reviews. I'm so happy to gave my little story a chance and liked it enough to leave your thoughts. I really appreciate it! :)**

**My beta is the lovely EMILY93 and any drunken shenanigans belong to her. It was probably my most favorite part to write. I've often wondered if other writers of fanfiction have had the fortune of finding the perfect beta, she gets my characters and my story and has yet to make a suggestion I don't love. She's all around amazing and I'm honored to call her a friend. Thank you for giving so freely of your time and constructive criticism. You make writing this much more fun than it was in its pre-beta existence.**

**As always it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer who is cool enough to let us wannabes play with her characters and make them do things which are most definitely not PG-13.**

**~IC~**

Alice had managed to drag me to the airport under the guise of a quick errand. This was not surprising as Alice was prone to plotting and scheming. I stood with her at the baggage claim wondering who this friend was and more importantly, why Alice had gone out of her way to have me here. I was focused on the carousel of suitcases that paraded in front of me when a pair of arms surrounded my waist. I gently dislodged them as I turned around to face my embracer.

"Bella!" I said, stunned to see her standing before me. She smiled brightly as a few tears trickled down her cheeks.

"I missed you so much," she said as she stood on her tip toes in order to wrap her arms around me and nuzzle my neck. I hugged her tightly to me as I looked over at Alice who had positioned herself before us in order to have a prime view of the action.

"I missed you too and I'm so glad you're here!" When we finally let go of each other, I offered Alice a faux dirty look. "I'm going to assume that you had everything to do with this."

Alice stuck out her tongue at me before smiling, obviously very pleased with herself.

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

Bella was tucked into my side, her hands busy with her phone. "Jacob," she said simply, earning her a knowing nod signaling my understanding. Bella was most likely letting him know she had arrived safely.

She inclined her head. "Oh, Alice, he absolutely loved the treats you sent him. It was his junk food nirvana."

After collecting Bella's suitcase we set out for home. I was momentarily worried about Bella meeting my parents. It seemed like such a big step in our relationship and I wondered, as I always did, if perhaps it was too soon. I couldn't recall how much I had told my parents about Bella but I was pretty sure I had at least mentioned her to them. I hoped. I turned back to look at Bella, finding it odd that she was being so quiet, only to find her asleep. Her head resting on the window.

"I told mom and dad she was coming and they are excited to meet her."

I smiled in acknowledgment. "Thank you Alice, you are the best when you're not being a brat."

"I am never a brat!" she said indignantly before joining me in a chorus of laughter.

As we were approaching the house Bella woke up, she seemed to have an internal sensor that told her when she was nearing her destination. This seemed to be the case in South Africa and now here.

"I'm sorry I've been such lame company, I can't believe I fell asleep,"she said.

"Oh don't worry about it, although Edward wanted me to crawl back there and snuggle." Alice loved to tease me, I mussed her hair in retaliation. If looks could kill I'd have been six feet under after the look Alice rendered me from merely touching her hair.

I was getting Bella's suitcases out of the car when my mother appeared at the front door.

"You must be Bella dear," she said as she made her way over to her, arms outstretched, ready to pull her into a hug.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Cullen."

"Like wise dear, but please do call me Esme. Welcome to our home, we are truly pleased to have you."

"Thank you, so much."

"Now, I made up one of the guest rooms just in case you preferred that but I have absolutely no problem with you sleeping in Edward's room. We're all adults here."

Bella looked more than a little out of her element and was quickly becoming red faced. It dawned on me that her father would not be as cavalier about such things and that he would expect her to have her own room. "I'll put your things in the guest room. We can figure out sleeping arrangements later," I said softly, hoping to ease her concerns.

"Lovely idea Edward," My mom replied before delivering a quick kiss on my cheek and turning towards the front door. "You will have to excuse me Bella, I have dinner on the stove and must tend to it. I believe it will be ready in a couple of hours. Carlisle should be home by then." As my mom always did when mentioning my father, she broke out into a huge grin. We followed behind her and I motioned towards the staircase.

"Your parents' house is lovely Edward. I don't think I've ever been in such a nice house before." She looked around in awe as she attempted to take it all in. My parents were avid collectors of art and so we had a lot of paintings on the walls. One could spend hours admiring the various pieces that adorned the walls.

"You must tell my mother, she'd love to hear that. In fact, I'll have her give you a tour of the house, she does a good job of explaining the art and decor of each room."

We arrived at the door to her room and I allowed Bella to enter first. As soon as I had set her stuff down I closed the door behind me and locked it. At the click of the lock Bella turned around to face me, a wicked smile playing on her lips. "Why, Edward, did you have something in mind?"

"Oh, I do, and I think you know exactly what it is." I wagged my brows suggestively as I walked up to her and rubbed my hands up and down her arms, her skin pebbling at my touch. I loved touching Bella, her skin was always so soft. She shuddered suddenly as my hands continued their exploration of her divine body and I grinned, knowing that her reaction had nothing to do with temperature.

"Kiss me," she commanded. I happily obliged. Kissing Bella was almost indescribable. The mechanics of kissing are mostly the same, and provided that both parties know what they are doing, it's almost always a pleasurable experience. However, I had found that when real feelings are involved, kissing is sublime.

"Mmm, I love feeling your lips on mine," Bella whispered when we finally broke our kiss. We were both breathing rather heavy and a pink glow had returned to Bella's cheeks. "I've often wondered what they would feel like on other places." She looked away, averting her eye contact as she cautiously gauged my reaction to her confession.

I sucked in a breath before groaning at her words. "Bella, what has gotten into you? I love it," I declared before pulling her towards me once more.

As it always happens when Alice is around, she chose the most inopportune of moments to interrupt us. Thankfully, my parents had done a splendid job of attaching door locks to all the bedrooms and so this allowed for Bella and I to compose ourselves before being rudely disturbed by my dear sister. I reluctantly tore my attention away from the beautiful girl I was just mere moments ago engaging in an electrical embrace with and padded over to the bedroom door to unlock it.

"Come in Alice," I called out, as I made my way back over to Bella, pulling her back into my arms and inhaling the heavenly scent of her hair.

"Sorry to cut your make out session short," she giggled. "Rosalie called and said she would like for Bella to come in for some fittings tomorrow morning. We're making a day of it, so you're just going to have to deal with that. Make tonight count. Oh, and mom said to come down in about an hour." If she had continued rattling off I wouldn't know because I was too busy holding Bella, aside from it being what I wanted to do, it also served as a disguise. My condition was not polite for company, much less Alice.

When she finally left I sighed in relief. "I'm sorry about her, you know she's unstoppable."

"I quite like your sister, especially since she brought me here, to you." She looked at me pensively and opened her mouth to speak a few times before finally emitting a tormented sound.

"Edward I don't know that I can be away from you. I know I shouldn't be telling you this. It makes me sound needy, clingy and all those things that send guys running for the hills. I also know that given the fact that we've barely known each other a few weeks that my need for you is completely and utterly irrational and you probably think I'm crazy and maybe I am? But the point is that I've felt so empty since you left New Orleans. I've never missed anyone the way I have missed you."

"I feel exactly the same, sweetheart. Sleeping is just not right without having you laying next to me and in my arms. I had never slept, and I mean sleep in it's truest sense, as soundly as I did when I had you near me." I felt like a bit of a cheese ball telling Bella this, but I meant every word.

"I was going to wait to ask you this but now seems as good a time as any. I've a trip planned to Puerto Rico in a few weeks, I'd love for you to accompany me. I've been many times and I love it there and hope you will come to love it, too. It'll be a pleasant little vacation for us. What do you say?" I tilted my head, waiting for Bella to respond.

"I would love nothing more, but I have Nessie and I'd hate to burden Jake again. I feel like I've taken advantage of him too often. I don't want to piss him off. Before making any rash decisions to your lovely offer, I'll feel him out and let you know." She smiled before once again reaching up on her tip toes to press a featherlight kiss to my lips.

"Thank you, though. You're much too kind to me, Edward."

"I really hope you'll be able to come. I had this trip planned since last summer and had completely forgotten about it until mom reminded me the other day. I was thinking about canceling it but then thought that walking down Old San Juan with you could be a lot of fun. By the way, sleeping arrangements are not up for discussion." I winked at her.

"I don't care which room I sleep in as long as you're in bed with me. Now I'm going to go freshen up for dinner, you should do the same." I lightly spanked her ass before I turned for the bedroom door.

~IC~

BPOV

Edward closed the door behind him as he left the room, leaving me gently rubbing my behind as I shook my head in shock. I was both stunned and pleased at his take charge attitude regarding where we would be sleeping, not to mention his brazen actions around me. I was loving this new side to him that I hadn't noticed before, I supposed it had something to do with our painful absence from each other.

I desperately wanted to sleep with him, I wasn't even thinking about having sex, just his warmth next to me would suffice. My parents were fairly strict and would consider our rooming together to be some form of "monkey business" but surely they must know that regardless of where we slept we could still engage in the aforementioned activities.

I wandered into the en suite bathroom and splashed water on my face. I looked considerably tired but it was nothing a little eye brightener couldn't fix. I dug around my suitcase for my makeup bag and returned to the bathroom in order to transform myself from zombie to human. I applied a few sweeps of mascara to my lashes and a rose colored lip tint before brushing out any unwanted knots in my hair and retying my pony tail. When I traveled I always skipped my makeup routine. Why risk raccoon eyes? I never understood how some women could travel dressed to the nines with a pound of makeup on their face.

My plan always consisted of arriving fresh faced and quickly ducking into the nearest restroom once at my destination. That way my makeup would look fresh, flawless and not at all smudged. Of course there was the other end of the spectrum, travelers who looked like bums. In fact, they would fit in better under a bridge, panhandling for money than at an airport. I shook my head as I recalled a particularly bad offender whose clothes looked like he hadn't bathed in days. You know those people that simply look like they smell really bad?

Dinner was delightful, the food was delicious and conversation flowed effortlessly. Esme had prepared a spring green risotto and chicken breasts in a butter and wine sauce. Alice had contributed a mixed greens salad with berries and goat cheese. I wasn't crazy about the berries at first but found the flavor to grow on my palate. For dessert, we had individual apple tortes with whipped cream. It was obvious that Esme had cooked from scratch and the difference it made for the meal didn't go unnoticed by me.

After dinner we all helped clear the table but Edward and Carlisle insisted on loading the dishwasher and cleaning up without female assistance. I now understood where, and even more crucially, who, Edward had inherited his gentlemanly charm from. Esme decided to call it a night and retreated to her bedroom while Alice dragged me up to her room for 'girl talk'.

"Oh Bella I am so happy you're here. Edward has been so down lately, especially since his surgery."

"He seemed fine on the phone," I said while thinking that maybe I wasn't in the mood for Alice at the moment. As soon as I thought it, I felt like a complete bitch. Alice had shown me nothing but kindness and here I was thinking unkind thoughts.

"Rosalie wants us to meet up at around nine so how about we meet down stairs at around eight thirty?"

"Sure, that sounds great, Alice. Is there anything I need to bring?"

"Nope, just yourself. Oh, and of course make sure you're groomed, legs, armpits, bikini line - the works. I just want you to feel comfortable stripping in front of people without worrying about hair and stuff." She was very matter of fact about it and I loved her honesty for it.

"I've taken care of all of that but thanks for the heads up anyway. To be honest I'm still a little nervous about the whole thing. I mean, I know that I am not the norm when people think about a model but then again maybe being stick thin is no longer a requirement." I shrugged before continuing, "I have been thinking a lot about this fashion show I'm going to be a part of and even though a portion of me is scared to death and thinking horrible thoughts about my body, there is also a very different part of me that is confident and ready to model. Thank you, for giving me this opportunity. It might not make much sense, my being grateful and all, but it's not easy being a girl as I'm sure you know. I've often been accused of not seeing myself clearly, I think I'm finally starting to see beyond the fog."

Alice smiled brightly at me, completely understanding where I was coming from. "I was worried that you might regret committing to this or that you somehow felt pressured because I'm Edward's sister. I appreciate the trust you place in me to not lead you astray. Once you meet Rose you'll see why you're perfect for her clothing line."

I had another pang of self doubt but left it undisclosed. I didn't want Alice to think I was fishing for compliments. Alice took some time to guide me through her massive cork board that displayed many pictures and other memorabilia documenting her volunteering and other humanitarian work. She was incredibly passionate about it all, especially the AIDS epidemic and how it affected entire countries, from its economy to its children. Her passion was only rivaled by her knowledge on the various subjects that related to her work.

We found ourselves having a lively discussion about her most recent visit to South Africa when Edward appeared.

"Ladies," he announced as he stood in the doorway, casually leaning against the doorjamb with his hands in his pockets. He looked every bit as handsome as his tone implied.

"Looks like my time with you is over. Go in peace love birds." Alice practically shooed me out of her room, making hand gestures while corralling us towards the door.

Once in the hallway Edward turned to me, "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable sharing a bed with me here. You can sleep in the guest room or we can switch and you can take my room."

"No, your mom is right. We're all adults here. Besides, I don't want to sleep away from you." I leaned into him, my head resting on his chest.

"Just what I wanted to hear." Edward kissed my temple and grabbed my hand as he led me towards his room. Once there I noticed that all of my things were already in his room.

I pursed my lips trying to suppress a smile before accusing him, "A little presumptuous are we?"

"No, just hopeful. Besides I figured if you said no I could guilt you into staying in my room with me. You know, since I had gone to all this trouble and all." He motioned towards my bags whilst attempting to appear nonchalant.

I held my hands up in defeat, he was certainly good at this game. Edward sat on the edge of the bed and curled his finger, inviting me to join him. My heart jumped and began to race as he motioned me to him. I thought to myself that I needed to remain calm. When I reached the edge of the bed he wrapped his arms around me, his head resting on my chest. My hands immediately found his hair and I ran my fingers through the loose tendrils. He moaned his contentment.

As it always happens with these things I soon found myself supine on his bed. My shirt was gone as were my shoes and pants. I was well aware of what was going on, being a willing participant helps with this. However I cannot give you a play by play of what went where first. It just sort of happened in the heat of the moment and it's better this way. Calculated moves have their place and time but the spontaneous, have no idea what is going to happen next moments are far more special. To me at least.

This next part I do remember. Very clearly. Edward had slowly removed all his clothes allowing me to prepare myself before he knelt down to peel away my underwear. But instead of directing his kisses towards my face he began trailing south. This could only mean one thing. I instinctively tensed, froze even. He noticed immediately.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked softly, all the while gently rubbing his thumb back and forth over my thigh to calm me.

"You can't. You can't do that." I stated, my breathing quickly becoming shallow from panic.

"Do what?"

"Keep kissing further down."

"Why not? You've gone down on me," he said perplexed.

"I-I know, but I'm not feeling very fresh down there and I don't want you to smell that, let alone taste that." I internally cringed at the thought of it.

Edward was quiet for a moment and looked lost in thought.

"Bella, you realize that I haven't exactly been fresh out of the shower when you've given me head and I'm so horny when it's happening that I don't remember giving it that much thought to be honest. Anyway, vaginas are not meant to smell like perfume or taste like candy. I'm going to love your tangy Bella flavor and heady scent. I can see you won't be comfortable, no matter how much I beg so I'll compromise. Let's take a shower." He motioned for the bathroom, offering his hand for me to accept and a kind smile playing on his lips.

I couldn't help but smile, too. He was such a considerate lover. No matter where our relationship ended up, I was sure that I would never regret our intimacy.

In the shower we took our time washing each other. He paid special attention to my girly bits and I responded in kind. Although I should clarify that his bits were very manly.

"Are you clean enough?" he asked teasingly as he sunk down to his knees in front of me.

I nodded, unable to find my voice. I was nervous. Scratch that, I was terrified. Nobody had been face to face with my most intimate part before.

He kissed my mons pubis while his fingers went between my legs. I shuddered and shut my eyes tightly. I didn't think I could do this. I was too self conscious, and much too self aware to enjoy this.

"Bella, honey. Breathe. We don't need to do this. Say the word and I'll stop. I just want to try, I want to give you pleasure. I love your body, I love this." He kissed me there, his tongue darting out slightly. I felt him, electricity ran through me and I inhaled deeply.

"Yes," I said in a whisper. "Try."

He continued his ministrations, licking me from top to bottom, taking care to pay attention to that most sensitive of areas. I was panting, trying to close my legs together but he prevented this, his hands both strong and gentle at the same time. As my mind started to spiral out of control I had the uncontrollable urge to stop him.

"Stop!" I exclaimed. "Please, no more. It's too intense," I continued in a more normal tone.

Edward was up at once, holding me to his chest, running his hands through my soaked hair.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you beyond your comfort zone."

"No, I wanted this too. I was enjoying it but I just couldn't finish. I was over thinking it."

"It's all right love. We are learning about each other and ourselves. We'll work up to that. I loved what we did do. Your taste on my lips, it was so erotic. Thank you for trusting me. What you're willing to give me, I will gladly accept. It's a gift, every single time."

We dried off and hurried to his bed. We made love. It didn't last two hours and we didn't have five orgasms a piece. It was slow, unhurried and exactly what we both needed.

~IC~

Morning came far too quickly, the sound of my alarm blaring made me groan. When I sat up in bed, still rubbing sleep out of my eyes I noticed that Edward was not in bed with me. I must have been sleeping very soundly for normally I would have been woken from his movements. After enjoying a good stretch I decided to get out of bed and grab a quick shower. When I came out of the bathroom I found Edward sitting on his bed. Two cups of coffee on his night table.

"Morning love. You look radiant," he said in a cheesy tone.

"Good morning handsome. I see you come equipped with caffeine."

"Sure did, just dropped off some to Alice. She won't be bouncing around until her blood is replaced with the brown stuff." He chuckled, his voice still hoarse from only recently waking up.

We sipped our coffee quickly, making plans to meet up for dinner at six o'clock. Rosalie and Alice would be joining us along with their respective beaus. Emmett and Jasper, I was informed were practically brothers to Edward. The three of them had grown up together and their families were close.

At eight thirty on the dot Alice and I were making our way out towards the garage.

Alice was a very competent driver, her maneuvers were smooth and well controlled. I made a mental note to scold Edward for his unnecessary cautions about her driving. "Alice is a maniac, she drives like she talks, quickly and to excess," he had said. He was wrong. Sure, Alice could be exuberant and a little scary I suppose, but for the most part she was a well rounded and reasonable person. Edward was obviously having a little fun at my expense as I am sure the look of horror on my face at the prospect of riding with Alice was evident.

We parked in front of a beautiful store front, a boutique called _Hale's_. Alice had told me that Rosalie's parents had more money than sense and thus had purchased the commercial space for Rosalie's fashion endeavours. We walked through two enormous glass double doors and into a show room that was impeccably made up. Marble floors, an array of couches and chaises in varying sizes and shades of white. The clothing was displayed on black racks that peppered the space. I didn't have a chance to take it all in for Rosalie came out from the back and summoned us.

"Alice! Honey, I'm so happy to see you. You must tell me all about your trip to South Africa. We'll do lunch soon, wait we'll be doing lunch today and dinner tonight, ha ha. I don't know where my head is."

"I wish I knew. Well, this is Bella." Alice gestured towards me, beaming as she did.

"Hi," I uttered in a hushed tone, sounding less sure of myself than I had anticipated.

"Bella, even your name is stunning." She took me by surprise when she pulled me in for a hug. "Thank you so much for agreeing to come all this way to model clothes that could have been hideous. Of course, they are fabulous and you will make them look even better!"

Rosalie was gorgeous, it was shocking to me that she merely designed the clothes and didn't model them, too. She was tall, lithe and had beautiful blond hair that looked soft and silky. She wasn't stick thin, she was healthy and solid. I could tell that she most likely worked out. I thought to myself that maybe I should do something about my soft body and tone up all of those areas I hated.

I was bound to automatically critique my physical appearance and be painfully aware of my flaws when standing before such a beauty as Rosalie. Of course, Alice was exquisite also but it had to be said, Rosalie was in a whole other league of her own. I bet she could make even the most glamorous a-lister feel self conscious simply from being in the same room as Rosalie.

I was seconds from admonishing Alice for not forewarning me of this. I was about to model a fashion designer's clothing line, when the fashion designer would look better in the items herself! I was really beginning to regret agreeing to model. I expected I might need some dutch courage to help me get through today.

I was being fitted with various garments in one of the rooms in the back when a young girl walked in. She had what I could only describe as a bitch face.

"So _this_ is the model you've been shitting a brick over," she said, disdain dripping from her words. "She's fat, obese even. I can't believe you are going to ruin these clothes for her."

It's one thing for me to have issues with my body, it's quite another for a stranger to make impolite comments about it. I didn't believe I could feel anymore worse about myself today, but apparently I could. "Excuse me!" I exclaimed, my hands firmly on my hips.

"Jessica, shut the fuck up and get the hell out of my boutique!" Rosalie was towering over her, much like she did over anybody shorter than 5'10. Had she been wearing heels she would have been over six feet tall.

"My father invested good money in this line. I deserve a spot on your runway," Jessica replied, meeting Rosalie's glare.

"Your father is a smart man, he knew better than to try to buy your way in here. He believes in my work and I will be eternally grateful to him. That does not mean I want anything to do with his idiot daughter whose personality is so foul." She was fuming.

"Rosalie, don't. She's not worth it." Alice cut her off before Rosalie really laid into her.

"You're right, Alice but I will never stop defending my vision for my clothing line. I want women to feel beautiful and believe they look beautiful, no matter their size and body shape. I'm tall with curves. It was hard to find pants that were long enough and sleeves that hit me where they were supposed to. I love fashion but I love being a woman more and I wanted to design clothes with all women in mind. I hate it when people like you Jessica, are hateful just because you don't get your way.

"Calling Bella fat is not only untrue but it's hurtful. Millions of girls today have major body image issues. Some genuine, some imagined but they always feel real to the individual. Why the fuck can't women be supportive of one another and learn to love each other regardless of physical appearance? You sicken me. You are unbelievably shallow. You are skinny, literally skin and bones and you know what? Some people might find that disgusting. Please do not be under the misapprehension that you're perfect just because you're skinny. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and the sooner you begin to learn and accept that, the better for us all! I can even count your vertebrae whilst you're standing up, Jessica. I want models in all shapes and sizes but most of all, that are HEALTHY. Weighing five hundred pounds isn't healthy, neither is weighing forty five.

"I'm trying to strike a balance and do something that will maybe make a difference, catch people's eyes, pique their interest. Maybe I can build upon the changes already emerging in fashion and alter the media's perception on what is aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Kate Moss' heroin chic is out and we are back to Christie Brinkley, Heidi Klum and Cindy Crawford."

Rosalie then fell silent as her chest heaved, Jessica looked like a deer in headlights.

"Well, this was certainly an interesting experience," I said as I started to remove the dress I had been trying on. I was so riled up that I was no longer feeling bashful about stripping in front of people. Surprisingly, even though Jessica's comments were hard hitting and had hurt, I chose to erase them from my memory and hope they wouldn't affect me. Rosalie's unexpected speech was mostly responsible for my change of heart.

"I apologize if my body offends you," I stated matter of fact, as I turned to walk into the attached bathroom.

When I emerged, wrapped in a fluffy pink robe that Rosalie had provided I found Rosalie and Alice pouring champagne into different colored flutes. Jessica was no longer there. I briefly considered enquiring about any parting words offered but decided against upsetting myself further.

"Catty bitches!" Rosalie exclaimed.

Alice giggled as she continued to pour.

"I'm sorry for the run in with that sow, but now we can sample these bottles and decide which one should be served at the show." Rosalie was in a much better mood now and handed me two glasses while swaying to whatever music was playing.

"Okay girls, we have Bollinger in the blue flutes, Veuve Clicquot in the pink, Moët in the green and Paul Goerg in the clear flutes. Remember we care about the taste, not the price." She grinned as she brought a blue flute to her lips.

With each variety we toasted, and with each sip we fell further down the rabbit hole of social lubrication brought on by booze. By the time we had sampled each of the four bottles I was feeling happy, not quite tipsy as I hadn't finished each glass but I definitely had alcohol in my system. We decided on the Veuve Clicquot. Not being more than the occasional drinker, and far from ever having any real knowledge of champagne, I wasn't certain if our choice would be considered completely on the money by connoisseurs.

A few hours later all of the champagne was gone. A few of Rosalie's employees had been invited to help us finish off the bottles. My fitting was in time with the imbibing and we were finished just as the last drop had been poured.

Lunch followed, as did more champagne. We enjoyed salads and drinks at a little bistro near the boutique. Rosalie and Alice convinced me to accompany them on a shopping trip. Rosalie had a gala to attend with Emmett and needed opinions on the dresses she tried on. Of course, being Rosalie, she went to the most upscale designer stores hoping to find something off rack or at the very least find inspiration should she need to design her own.

"I know it makes no sense for me to buy a dress when I could design and make my own but there is some good shit out there," Rosalie explained as she looked at herself in the mirror. She had one hand grasped around a glass of champagne while the other smoothed the skirt of the dress she was trying on.

The rest of the afternoon was spent much in the same fashion, the three of us walking into ridiculously expensive stores where we would invariably be offered drinks. It seemed that the rich did not abide by drinking laws and neither did I come to think of it.

I had lost count of how many glasses of champagne I had consumed but I did know that I had drank at least two bottles of water. It didn't seem to be helping any for I felt a fuzziness spiraling in my head. I was tired and a little drowsy from my recent overindulgence in expensive sparkling nectars. It was then that I realized we were terribly late when I drunkenly tried to concentrate on the miniature numbers on my wristwatch.

"Alice, Rosalie! Dinner, we're late. We've stood them up!" I exclaimed, shocking myself that my speech was not at all garbled.

"What time is it?" Alice asked, much too calmly.

"Fuck, it's almost seven. Why haven't those tools called us?" Rosalie looked furious, as if our tardiness was somehow the responsibility of somebody other than us.

"They probably did, we left our bags in the trunk remember? So we wouldn't be encumbered by them. I think those were your words Rosalie. They must be worried," I said, shaking my head but unable to stop smiling. The champagne in my system was really beginning to kick in now as I was feeling the full effects of a drunken haze. My cheeks were rosy and warm to the touch, obviously the liquor had caused me to flush. It also appeared I had no control over my facial expressions as I was unable to ease the wide Cheshire Cat smile that was planted on my face. Could it be true that even walking proved a difficult challenge for my legs? Oh my. Yes, I was indeed drunk. The entire situation was somewhat humorous. But would the boys think the same?

~IC~

EPOV

At a few minutes to six Jasper, Emmett and I were sitting at the bar of the restaurant Alice had picked for the evening. At six fifteen we each called our girlfriends.

At six thirty I was beginning to worry. "I can't believe that none of them have picked up their phones. This is bizarre," I declared.

"They probably lost track of time. Rosalie was going to have them try champagne for the show," Emmett offered.

"Well, I say we just stay put until they surface. I'm pretty sure they are fine. If they haven't made contact by seven thirty then I'll freak," Jasper said in between sips of his beer.

"How do you figure that time table?" I enquired.

"Well, an hour and a half isn't being late, it's called being missing." He shrugged.

The next twenty minutes passed amid conversations about time and acceptable tardiness. Jasper surmised that being late to a dinner party was polite but leaving late was rude. I kind of agreed with him.

As I laughed at his lengthy rant about the double standard on tardiness I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

"Edward, I'm so sorry! We're on our way." Bella spoke before I had a chance to say anything.

"What happened? Where are you guys?" I queried, feeling frantic.

"Ugh we've been dress shopping with Rosalie. We left our bags in Alice's trunk so as to not lose them or whatever. We very stupidly left our phones in there as well. I'm sorry to have worried you. I listened to your messages."

"It's okay love. No harm done. I'm just glad it wasn't something serious. I'll see you when you get here."

"Okay, see you soon."

As I placed the phone back into my pocket I heard the tail end of Jasper's conversation.

"I resent that you evil wench but I love you too much to do anything about it. Get your ass over here so I can chastise you good and proper."

I cringed. There was something about seeing one of my best friends be the man in my sister's life that gave me the willies. I was getting better about it but sometimes it caught me unawares.

When the girls finally arrived at the restaurant I immediately noticed that Bella was in a very friendly mood and that her legs were like jelly. I rolled my eyes, berating her in my mind as she approached me.

"I missed you lover," she whispered seductively before leaning up for a kiss. She surprised me by making it a kiss almost impolite for company.

"I missed you too, Bella. Is that champagne I taste on your lips?"

"Oh, fuck that's embarrassing. I'm sorry, I should have chewed some gum."

"No, I like it. Give me another kiss." I smirked.

She more than willingly indulged me and I was treated to a deliciously long kiss that had the rest of our group clearing their throats.

"I'm not sorry," Bella murmured.

"Me neither." I winked before leading her towards our table.

Dinner was a lot of fun, especially since the girls had given themselves a head start on the drinking. Bella was particularly funny to watch as she was most uncoordinated when drunk.

"She was such a cow, I mean she called me fat. ME! I may be a lot of things but fat isn't one of them. At least that's what I've been told. I'm full figured? Or maybe a little chunky? I don't know, all I know is that she fucking hurt my feelings and I just don't know, but you know what? Fuck her!" Bella's account of their run in with Jessica Stanley left me open mouthed.

"It's a good thing you dumped that crazy bitch," Emmett said offhandedly as he wrapped an arm around Rosalie.

"Wait, what?" Bella gasped, turning to look at me. "She is your ex? She saw me in my underwear, that bitch troll stick figure saw me practically naked and called me fat and she's your ex. Mother fucker. I'm sorry guys but I need to freshen up." Bella pushed back from the table forcefully, her chair falling over as she got up and bolted from the chair.

"Shit, man. I'm sorry. I didn't know." Emmett looked appropriately embarrassed.

"It's okay. I'll go talk to her," I said as I got up from the table. The night, most likely ruined.

~IC~

It didn't take me long to spot Bella sitting at the bar, she had a distant look on her face. I approached her slowly, not sure how to proceed. I had never been any good at this sort of thing.

"I'm sorry I made a scene. I've no filter or common sense when I've had a few drinks in me." She sighed, sounding contemplative.

"It's okay, no harm done. There is a lot of stuff we don't know about each other yet, some of it comes up at unideal times. Had I thought it possible that you would run into Jessica, yes, I would have warned you of her. As it is, I've no idea why she was at Rosalie's. I'm sorry she was so cruel to you and that you had such a shitty day." I cautiously reached my hand to the middle of her back and began gently rubbing soothing circles.

"So am I." Bella maneuvered herself to face me. "Edward, I'm not speaking out of an abundance of alcohol, but um, I'm developing feelings for you. Yes, feelings! The word that men dread hearing most I presume. Anyway, I'm scared of getting hurt. We've been moving so fast and today was a reminder, to me at least, that we've yet to really get to know each other." She stopped talking before looking back towards the bar, her knee bouncing in nervousness.

"Bella, what are you getting at?" She was worrying me now.

"I think we need to take a step back, I'm feeling much too possessive. Our relationship is just too intense for so early on. It's not right." Her voice wavered and broke as she told me this.

I didn't know how to respond to that. Part of me wanted to tell her she was overreacting, being silly. That maybe it was the drink talking after all. Surely what had just happened didn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things? We had both had a decent amount to drink and I seriously didn't think it appropriate to get into such deep discussions in our current state. I could feel my head clouding and Bella definitely looked inebriated even though she seemed perfectly lucid.

"How about we talk about this tomorrow when we're both rested and sober? I don't want us to say things we will come to regret in the morning. I really care about you, Bella. Let's enjoy tonight. Please." I pulled her into a hug. She responded in kind, her arms wrapped tightly around me, her head resting on my chest.

A few minutes later we rejoined our group. Nobody commented on the happenings of before. Once we settled the tab we headed to a local club.

Our previous tiff quickly forgotten, Bella seemed to resume her enjoyment of our night on the town. She was merrily laughing, dancing and drinking. Towards the end of the night there was absolutely no doubt about her being drunk. I wasn't faring much better myself but Bella could barely remain upright. Luckily I found her shoddy equilibrium highly comical. As did the rest of the gang.

"Edward, honey. You may just have to carry my sorry ass home and pour me into bed." She giggled, her mouth inches from my face. Her lips were teasingly close to mine but never made contact.

When Bella finally realised standing up was no use any longer, she decided to park herself on my lap, practically straddling me, even. I certainly wasn't complaining though. I would happily be her chair at any given moment.

"Mmm, Edward you always smell so good. Makes me want to grope you in public, what would you do if I grabbed you right here?" She had a devilish look on her face as she ran her hand up and down the front of my pants. Part of me thought it best to grab her wrist and stop her actions, much to my dismay, before anyone could see and kick us out, but the more daring and exhibitionist part of me decided to go along with it. What the fuck did I care about what anyone else thought?

"Oooh, somebody seems to be affected by my presence." Her words were followed by more giggling on her part.

"Bella, you slut. Stop rubbing up on my brother!" Alice's speech was slurring a little and Jasper was holding her up.

"Alice, shut your trap lest I inform Edward here how you desecrated his piano bench."

Alice's face fell, before she scowled. "You wouldn't dare! I told you that in confidence! I hate you Isabella Swan."

"Oh Ali, you love me!" Bella jumped up and gave Alice a big kiss on her cheek.

Alice laughed before winking. "Hmm, that I do."

It was an hour later when we all agreed we couldn't bare to consume anymore of the hard stuff without it leading to us all blacking out. We all caught cabs home seeing as how none of us were in any condition to drive. Rosalie and Emmett seemed to have disappeared at some point without anybody noticing. It didn't take a scientist to work out why they had abruptly vanished without any warning.

The ride home involved a lot of necking as Bella was completely uninhibited. I especially liked this side of Bella. I was quickly learning that there was two sides to my girlfriend. One being the sweet, demure and almost innocent Bella and second being the feisty, confident and spunky Bella. I loved both equal amounts, however, tonight I was definitely seeing more than just a preview of spunk and I didn't mind one bit.

My phone vibrated in my jeans pocket and I fumbled around for it before noticing I had a new message. Naturally, without thinking, I opened it and read:

_I want you to lick me. Down there._

The sender? Bella. We could not get home fast enough.

As we stumbled up the stairs, each helping the other towards my bedroom I felt the anticipation building. Maybe Bella would finally enjoy this, her mental block seemed to have been holding her back before. My thinking was cut short when Bella let out a shriek.

"Mouse!" she exclaimed, before turning to me and tripping over her own feet.

I laughed as I tried to catch her, failing miserably, my reactions being too slow we ended up on the floor in a heap. Both of us were trying to be quiet but that only caused us to laugh even harder. We finally picked ourselves off the floor and made it to my room, crawling for the majority of the journey.

"Ugh my head is spinning!" Bella complained. She was slumped on the bed, still wearing her clothes.

"Mine too." I groaned, laying next to her as I kicked off my shoes hearing a loud thud as they landed.

I've no recollection of what happened next but what I do know is that I woke up with a serious case of cotton mouth, still in my jeans, my cunnilingus plans foiled.

I looked over at Bella who was all but falling off the bed. I quickly pulled her from the edge and rearranged her so that she wasn't bent like a pretzel. I had to shake my head at our antics, and I wondered if other couples had experienced similar situations such as this. For all our foreplay throughout the night we had both remained clothed.

Suddenly our conversation from last night hit me like a ton of bricks. Bella had said something about taking a step back. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what she meant.

~IC~

**End notes:**

**See you in a week, maybe two? We'll be in Puerto Rico so do come back for the piña coladas!**

**xoxo**

**Abby**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**a/n**

**As always, I am most grateful to the many readers who put me on alert or add my story to favorites. Thank you.**

**Also to cullengirl08 for always taking the time to leave me a review :) thank so very much!**

**My beta, EMILY93 is all kinds of awesome and I can't thank her enough for her tireless work. Which she does for free, I pay her only in adoration. **

**Lastly, thank you to SM who owns all this, except the evil things my beta and I do to her characters. **

**Thank you for reading! (Translations are at the bottom.)**

**Abby**

BPOV

Waking up the morning after our night on the town was as bearable as any morning ever could be with a hangover. I had a slight headache, not so much as to claim I had a jackhammer going off in my head, but there was definitely some construction work going on. To top it all off, my mouth felt disgusting and terribly dry. I made a mental note of knocking back a considerable amount of water throughout the space of today. My body felt achy, most likely from sleeping in an uncomfortable position and being too drunk to notice at the time but I was happy to learn I hadn't injured myself at all last night especially since I recalled my legs being deemed useless for the majority of the night courtesy of a vast intake of champagne and various other liquor laced beverages.

Aside from the minor headache that could easily be remedied with medicine that I was certain the Cullen family stocked for moments such as this, I was feeling okay. I could remember everything from last night. Parts of the night were hazy but if I concentrated hard enough, I could recount them. My memory was fine and for this I was relieved.

I remembered the end of the night in particular and groaned aloud as I had a sudden flashback of my exact words to Edward and they weren't especially tasteful.

A chill ran down my spine. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I accept that what I had with Edward was rare and special. Why did I have to question it? I didn't have time to ponder the answers to these questions for I felt him stir beside me.

"Morning ,Bella. I hope you slept well. How are you feeling?" Edward sounded groggy. I expected as much.

I sat up in bed and pulled the sheet up around my chest. "I'm good, you?" Already, the conversation was turning awkward.

"I'm fine. We need to talk. I'm sorry to be bringing it up first thing but I don't do the drawn out angsty crap. I want to talk about last night," he said, his tone lacking harshness and belligerence. He spoke calmly and very softly. I was taken aback.

"Okay, well I'm just going to freshen up. I'll be right back." I offered him a small smile.

He nodded once and gestured towards the bathroom. I slipped out of bed and headed for the bathroom, overly conscious that Edward would be watching after me. I splashed water on my face before wearily looking at myself in the mirror. I stared for a few minutes, not caring about the absolute state I looked, and the raccoon eyes I was sporting. I regretted not removing my makeup the night before. Clearly my drunken state had left me without common sense. I had spent all my life cringing at others who sported this 'look,' and yet here I was, black smudges serving as rings around my eyes. Not even the water had done anything to shift the mascara.

My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and my current physical appearance was the last thing on my mind. I was an over thinker. It was killing my relationship. Hell, it was killing me. I needed to stop being such a control freak and just go with it. How could I possibly enjoy myself when I was too busy being scared of the unknowns of life?

With my new found perspective I brushed my teeth, pulled a brush through my knotted hair and used the toilet before marching back up to bed. I didn't join Edward in the bed, instead I stood directly in front of the bed and hoped to God that what I was about to say would, for once in my life, be the right words.

"Edward, I've been thinking. About what I said last night?" I looked up at him, grimacing. "I'm a coward. I'm so busy questioning everything, that I don't spend enough time being happy. What happened with Jessica, that was nothing. I have my own hangups about my body, most women do. I'm tired of that shit. Tired of talking about my body and how fat I feel sometimes. I know I'm not, deep down I know this but it's easier to put myself down than face the hurt of having somebody else do it for me." I sighed.

Edward looked bewildered. I guessed he hadn't expected me to come out of the bathroom rambling.

"Tell me about what you're questioning? I want to understand." He was sitting with his back against the headboard, his hands on his lap. He looked completely relaxed and at ease for such a serious conversation as this and yet there was a hint of something in his eyes that I couldn't quite place.

I strolled to my side of the bed and gently sat down, crossing my legs over each other and making myself comfortable before continuing.

"I'm a broken record by now, surely you must think this. To expand on my already expressed concerns that we are moving too fast and don't really know enough of each other-" I trailed off trying to decide whether or not to continue in this vein.

"You're too perfect. You're a gentleman, you haven't pissed me off, not once. It's too good to be true Edward. When are you going to start being yourself?" I accused him.

"You think I'm being a phony?" He sounded incredulous and I immediately regretted what I had said. I hadn't meant to offend or insult him. No, yet again, my words had been the wrong ones.

"Bella I am far from perfect but at least I am being honest. So are you telling me you came all this way thinking that we aren't going to survive? That our relationship is nothing more than a house of cards? You're just wishing for that gust of wind that's going to blow it down. Am I right?" Edward's voice was dripping with sarcasm but his eyes told a different story. They looked lifeless, like my words were breaking him and this broke my heart to witness. I knew instantly that I needed to set things straight and inject some hope back into our relationship.

"I don't wish for any such thing. You are completely wrong. I want this! I want us. I like us together. Always. I've already made up my mind so this conversation is moot." I nodded, making it final.

"How can it be? You won't tell me what's going on in your head. I can't address your concerns if you're not forthcoming with me." His hand was quickly in his hair as he absentmindedly continued to run his fingers through the flyaway tendrils, tugging lightly.

"I've royally fucked this up." I frowned. I was feeling very sad and angry with myself.

"No. Bella, you haven't fucked anything up. We've moved too fast I'll give you that. I have been on my best behavior, too. I want to impress you, and I want to treat you right. But that certainly does not mean that I've been dishonest with you and who I am as a person. You deserve every happiness and I only hope I can give you that. If you'll allow me to."

I smiled kindly at him. "Of course I'll allow it, Edward. I'm sorry about all this." I twiddled my fingers, the suspense of a response was torturous. I was feeling incredibly embarrassed and remained focusing solely on my hands.

"Well I'm sorry for being the equivalent of a Stepford wife. I'll ease up, piss you off a little." He chuckled, before winking at me and I knew our 'almost' argument was forgotten about

By this point I crawled onto his lap and wrapped my arms tightly around him. He was holding me gently, and had his mouth next to my ear before whispering his words to me.

"Let's go to Puerto Rico. Screw Jake, he'll understand." I smiled mischievously at the thought.

~IC~

A few days after the fashion show, which was fabulous, Edward joined me on my return trip to New Orleans. From there we would leave for Puerto Rico. I was beyond excited at the prospect of our trip. I wasn't sure how long we would be staying and I simply didn't care. I just wanted to spend as much time as possible with Edward before school started back up again.

The day we arrived back in New Orleans, Jacob was unable to pick us up from the airport so we caught a cab. When the cab pulled up outside of my home Edward paid the driver insisting he take care of the fare as well as hauling our luggage out of the trunk. Whilst I unwillingly watched Edward, wishing he'd let me help him, I happened to bump into one of my neighbors passing by who I hadn't seen in a long time. While I chatted with her on the sidewalk Edward took our bags inside. He surprised me by returning within a few minutes. I had expected him to wait for me inside.

I glanced at him questioningly but he merely smiled and sifted his hands in his pockets. I quickly said my goodbyes to Mrs. Chote who was on her way to the store. As she made her way to her car I turned to Edward. "What's wrong?"

He looked sheepish. "Nothing, Jacob is home."

"Jacob? But he said he wouldn't be able to pick me up." I knitted my brows, completely confused.

I started walking towards the building, Edward following after me. I decided I didn't like even the slightest distance between us and so I reached my hand out behind me and felt within seconds Edward's hands clasping mine. I smiled and pulled him alongside me, his thumb rubbing small circles over my palm.

When we walked through the door I came face to face with Jacob and Paul.

"Oh! Paul, I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you had moved to New York?" I must have sounded very confused because Jacob's eyes were wide as saucers. Paul pulled me into an awkward hug without warning, all the while my hand still in Edward's. I hadn't even a chance to react and ask Jacob why the hell he was acting so sketchy.

"Bella, it's been too long. Jacob and I were just catching up." Paul shrugged, smiling.

"Oh, so you're the reason Jacob couldn't pick us up at the airport?" I glanced over at Jacob again and gave him a displeased look. What was he up to?

The awkwardness of our unforeseen encounter continued until Edward and I were left alone.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I have no idea," Edward coughed, shaking his head, sounding as perplexed as I did but I was sure Edward had masked laughter with his cough.

~IC~

EPOV

I had just witnessed Jacob kissing another man. Holy shit. I now knew something about Bella's best friend that she didn't even know about, that not many people at all knew about I assumed. When I walked through the door I looked up to see them on the couch. As soon as they heard me gasp they looked up, jumping up off the furniture at an incredible speed.

"Bella doesn't know and I'd like to be the one to tell her," Jacob had said quickly, the words practically falling out of his mouth.

"That's cool, I'm, I mean I won't say anything. Sorry I didn't knock. Bella was under the impression that you wouldn't be here." I shook my head at the hideousness that was this exchange.

"Yeah, that's my fault. I lost track of time. This is Paul by the way."

"Hi, I'm Edward, Bella's boyfriend." I put up my hand and made a waving gesture.

Paul got up and walked over to me. He offered me his hand. "I'm Paul, Jacob's um... other half I guess? It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm only sorry it's under such awkward circumstances."

I shook his hand while trying to accustom myself to our situation. "Nice to meet you too Paul. I'm going to go get Bella. I hope you two tell her sooner rather than later. I don't want to feel that I'm keeping something from her, even though it's not my story to tell."

They both smiled at me as I turned around to leave. The entire debacle had taken place in the space of a few long minutes. I was so shocked that my only reaction was to leave the way I entered immediately and go in search of Bella.

She seemed surprised to see me but didn't say anything or question me. When we went back inside, after us both saying our goodbyes to Jacob and Paul, Bella had automatically picked up on the strange vibes from Jacob and his terribly poor excuse for bluffing. I could see it written plainly across her face. She looked exceptionally muddled and though I shouldn't have, I found the entire situation and Bella's facial expression absolutely priceless and incredibly comical. I tried my best not to react and contain my laughter but I think Bella noticed when I tried to stifle it with a cough.

One thing I knew for sure was that I really hoped that Jacob would tell her, and soon. Before leaving me no other option but to tell Bella myself.

~IC~

A couple of days later Jacob hadn't said anything and Bella hadn't brought up the night either. For my part I was just keeping my mouth shut. We didn't see Jacob again until he decided to make an appearance a few hours before Bella and I were due to head to the airport. I had almost forgotten he was to dog sit Nessie.

Bella decided we should catch a cab to the airport since she felt that she had asked Jacob to make way too many airport runs as of late. I didn't care either way. I actually preferred the former of choosing to take a cab, it saved me feeling added discomfort sitting in a vehicle with Bella and Jacob when there would be a huge secret taunting me the whole time.

Our ride to the airport and the subsequent check-in and passing through security was uneventful and went without any complications. It was really nice to travel with Bella, she was great company as well as entertainment. She always had something witty or silly to say. The only other person I travelled with was Alice and she tended to be rather quiet and studious. She would invariably have her nose in a book leaving me to amuse myself.

"So tell me all about Puerto Rico. I know it's a territory but that's all I know," Bella asked as we sat at our gate, her foot tapping incessantly off the ground. I couldn't discern if her tic was because of nerves or excitement.

"What do you want to know? I can give you the history, interesting facts or just tell you about the places we will be visiting."

"I want to learn all about it so let's start with the history please. I've a thirst for knowledge."

"Okay, but I'm going to be very factual, very professor like. Is that a side of me you're ready for?" I asked jokingly before winking at her.

She playfully smacked my chest. "Oh, Edward stop being such a comedian and school me already." Apparently Bella wasn't ready for me to tease her in such a way. I was mostly hoping for a loaded response of her being a naughty (or good - I can't decide) girl student. Then again, that kind of conversation wasn't typically appropriate to be had in an airport terminal.

"As you wish." I cleared my throat before continuing, "Puerto Rico was discovered by Christopher Columbus in November of 1493, it was during his second voyage. At the time, the island was inhabited by Taino Indians. The Spanish were quick to colonize the island and within fifty years the native population had dwindled to near extinction. You see, the Spanish enslaved the natives and committed horrible crimes against them. They also brought foreign diseases to which the natives had no natural immunity. This further killed off their numbers.

"Puerto Rico became one of Spain's most prized colonies. It's strategic location in the Caribbean meant that other powers empires wanted it for themselves. The Dutch and the British tried to capture it but failed. The Spanish had constructed forts near the shore of what is now San Juan. They kept constant watch and defended the island against intruders." I paused, wanting to see if Bella was at all interested in what I was telling her.

"Why are you stopping? We won't be boarding for a while. Go on." She hurried me with hand gestures to continue talking.

I smiled at her, she was indulging me greatly.

"As time went on, Spain began focusing on more prosperous colonies located in North, Central and South America. This meant that Puerto Rico, save for settlements along the coast, was left pretty much underdeveloped and unexplored."

"And during this time weren't other colonies starting to obtain their independence?" Bella asked. I was silently filled with pride. I felt so well matched with Bella and her intellect.

"Exactly, so Spain began to pay attention to Puerto Rico once more. Eventually they had representation in the Spanish parliament and at one point had its own autonomous government but it was short-lived."

"So how did they end up being a territory of the United States?"

"We invaded the island during the Spanish-American War. One of the outcomes of the war was the acquisition Puerto Rico, along with Guam and the Philippines. Interestingly, Spain also relinquished sovereignty over Cuba but did not cede it to the United States."

"Wow, why did I not know any of this?" Bella exclaimed. "I mean, my history classes were clearly not that thorough. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention."

"It's not something that gets taught in depth. I learned about it because I have friends there and I've always been interested in Puerto Rico's status. I have some books with me that I could give for the plane journey if you're so inclined?"

Bella chuckled and snuggled into my side. I put an arm around her and squeezed her tightly to me.

"Oh, Edward, the history lesson is over for now but I do look forward to learning more about Puerto Rico during our trip." She tilted her head back a little and kissed me softly on the lips, the kiss lasting only mere moments to ensure it be a kiss that was suitable for public consumption.

Bella and I lucked out and had an entire row to ourselves. I took the middle seat after insisting that Bella sit by the window so she could enjoy the view when the plane was landing.

"I don't think I've told you this before but I speak Spanish." She said.

"You do? I had no idea. How did you come to learn Spanish?"

"Growing up I had a friend who spoke Spanish, I think her family was from Argentina. Anyway I picked it up when I was still learning to talk and afterwards my parents made sure I had a Spanish tutor."

"So you're fluent?" I asked

"I am," she confirmed with a smile.

"You'll have to show off your skills then." I winked, not necessarily meaning her Spanish oral skills.

During our flight we snacked on pretzels that Bella had packed into her bag. As soon as I had seen her retrieve the pretzels from her bag and proceed to open the packet, I was reminded of the day I discovered Bella's disdain with all plane cuisine on our first ever plane journey together or so I liked to look at it that way. The memories naturally plastered a grin to my face. We had come so far since then.

We both leafed through the duty free magazine as we munched on the salted pretzels.

"Goodness, look at this Edward. An indoor dog restroom. I shudder to think at cleaning that up." Bella wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Well, I'm sure if you lived in a high rise in New York City something like that might come in handy. Or perhaps if you lived in Siberia somewhere. It gets too cold to go out."

She laughed. "I hadn't thought of it that way. I'm glad I don't have a need for something like that. Nessie wouldn't fall for it anyway. A tiny patch of fake grass? Please." She shook her head in disbelief.

I rolled my eyes at her before leaning over and kissing her temple. She was too cute.

During our descent we were treated to a great view of the island. Bella scrambled for her digital camera to snap shots of what could only be described as a breathtaking view. She was leaning directly against the window of the plane so she could capture the best photographs of Puerto Rico from such a height. The pretty blues and greens of the surrounding ocean gave way to land and revealed San Juan, a bustling metropolis with many highways and buildings. The airport itself was located in an area called Isla Verde, which when translated literally meant 'green island'.

Bella was giddy in her seat and even though she was trying to keep her composure I could tell she was excited to visit a place she hadn't been to before. She was itching for us to land as she practically bounced up and down in her seat.

Getting through airport security was effortless and though I had expected a sizable queue, it only took us half an hour until we were on route to collect our luggage. We quickly made a stop at the bathroom before making our way to baggage claim.

"I have the worst luck when it comes to bags, mine is usually the last one out," Bella complained.

"Well lucky for you, I've plenty of good luck and maybe it has rubbed off on you."

"I can't believe this. Seriously?" She said, exasperated.

I had been looking down at my phone, responding to a text message from Alice and so I had no idea what Bella was going on about. I looked up to see both of our suitcases coming down the carousel, there were maybe five others ahead of them. I grinned and turned to Bella looking very smug I expected from the scowl I got from Bella. Immediately I knew she wasn't a fan of being proved wrong. Rather than rubbing it in her face, I thought it best I simply go grab our two suitcases.

"See, I told ya," I said as I pocketed my phone and walked over to retrieve our bags.

An hour later we were in our rental. I had decided to go with an SUV since I intended to drive through the mountainous interior of the island. We ended up in a black Ford Explorer, nothing fancy but practical. We headed down the interstate towards Ponce. Most tourists stay in San Juan and surrounding areas, but knowing Bella I knew she would appreciate the break in tradition.

"So, Ponce," Bella stated as she paged through one of the books I had previously offered to her. "Located in the southern part of the island and is the second largest city. I really want to see the Plaza las Delicias." Her Spanish was perfect and the accent on her dangerously sexy. I wondered if I could get her to speak to me in Spanish during our more intimate activities.

"Hey, you over there. What are you thinking about? You look like you're up to no good," she teased. I felt my face redden as I tried to look as innocent as possible. Guilty as charged! I couldn't exactly help that my dirty thoughts had decided to turn into dirty images instead.

I decided it best I come clean. "I was just wondering what it would be like to hear you speak Spanish to me while we are," I coughed to clear my throat "well, you know..."

"Edward!" she exclaimed, playfully swatting my arm before erupting out raucous giggling. "That's kind of kinky. I actually like it." She gave me a suggestive look before going back to her book. Score! Maybe being brutally honest in that department with Bella was something I might need to try often. I certainly benefited from my confession I had made mere moments ago.

By the time we arrived in Ponce it was dark and Bella had dozed off. It seemed Bella had a tendency to fall asleep on me. It was becoming difficult to count the amount of times Bella had been in my presence and fallen asleep. Of course all of our travelling was the primary cause for her constant napping... I hoped. Surely I didn't bore her so much that she'd fall asleep?

"You're not a very good copilot," I said to her as I gently shook her awake. "We're here."

"Oh, please, spare me! You didn't need a copilot, you knew exactly where you were going," she croaked as she stretched her arms over her head. "We're not even really there yet, you're still driving."

"Okay, so we're close. Same difference."

"No, Edward. Big difference. Being there means you are parked in front of our destination, and clearly we aren't," she teased.

I chuckled before mussing her hair with my right hand.

"Hey! Quit it, I already look like shit. Don't go making me look worse." She pulled down the visor and began fussing with her hair. She shot me a faux dirty look and I could tell she was fighting hard not to smile. Bella was always a joker.

"Bella you look lovely, you always do. Even if you have a birds nest on your head."

She stuck out her tongue at me. I immediately reciprocated earning myself a giggle from Bella.

I turned off from the highway and joined one of the local roads. We drove through a few main roads before finding ourselves in the narrower streets of downtown. Some areas looked a little rough but we were soon surrounded by old colonial mansions as well as other examples of Neoclassical architecture.

A lot of the mansions had been converted into businesses offices and restaurants but a select few were still being used as homes. All of them had kept the original facades as the municipality wanted to preserve the historical significance of the buildings.

We soon reached the Hotel Melia at the heart of downtown. It faced the plaza that Bella was so interested in seeing. I had picked it out for its location, unaware at the time that Bella would be so interested in the view our room would have. Fortunately the hotel entrance was off a side street so Bella wouldn't have a clue as to our prime location until she saw the view from our plaza facing room.

I checked in while Bella examined the hotel lobby and grabbed a couple of brochures from a display of local attractions. Our room was on the third floor but we decided to forgo the rickety and I predicted temperamental elevator and took the stairs instead. The stairs were wide and spacious and were a main part of the building. They were meant to be seen and used, not like the stairwells at some buildings that are off to the side behind suspicious looking doors. I easily carried our luggage up the stairs, refusing that Bella help me in any way shape or form bar allowing me her hand to hold. She gave tacit compliance, smiling up at me as I had held my hand out for her. I always felt it a gentleman's duty to help out a female in any circumstance, and on this occasion it meant freeing Bella of the bother or struggle of lugging her suitcase up flights of stairs.

When we reached our room I slowly unlocked the door and allowed Bella to open it and walk through first. She immediately recognized the view, making me grin like the Cheshire Cat from her wonderful and most anticipated reaction.

"Oh my! This is Plaza las Delicias. Wow, it's so pretty," she crooned as she made her way to the floor to ceiling windows that faced the plaza. She quickly found the locking mechanism and before I knew it she had opened the sliding glass doors and had stepped out onto the balcony. The hustle and bustle of the square was lively.

I sat down our bags before joining Bella out on the balcony.

"I'm glad you like it. How fortunate that you seem to love the places I bring you to," I whispered in her ear, causing her to shudder, I imagined it being the effect of my warm breath against her exposed skin. I wrapped my arms around her waist, effectively trapping her between myself and the railing as I held her close to me, gradually feeling Bella press herself harder into me, resting her back against my chest.

She manoeuvred herself to face me. "Not to sound corny, the locations are always great and all, but the real draw is the company." She returned to leaning back against me as we both took in, not just our surroundings, but each other.

~IC~

Later that evening we dined at Archipiélago, a restaurant located within walking distance of the hotel. It was situated atop one of the surrounding buildings and offered magnificent views of the city from its rooftop terrace.

It was almost eleven when we finally made it back to our hotel room.

"I'm all for making the most of our vacation here but I veto any idea to get up before 9am tomorrow," Bella protested. I had to laugh, I hadn't even mentioned the next day.

"Certainly we are able to accommodate your demands Your Royal Highness." I mockingly bowed before her trying very hard to keep a straight face.

"My boyfriend is a comedian," she retorted before disappearing into the bathroom, shaking her head and her hips as she went.

I hadn't had much occasion to hear Bella refer to me as her boyfriend and I found that I rather liked it. I changed into pyjama bottoms and a white undershirt before grabbing my toiletry bag out of my suitcase. As I finished putting away my dirty clothes Bella emerged from the bathroom wearing a sheer royal blue nightie that left little and yet plenty to the imagination. It complimented both her eye color, hair color and deliciously alabaster skin tone spectacularly. I believed I liked this particular blue on Bella very much. The nightie clung to all the right places, accentuating her ample chest and moulding to her minuscule waist before falling slightly at the hips, showcasing her glorious and womanly curves. I was practically salivating.

"Wow, you look amazing," I exclaimed in earnest.

"You're breeding flies, close your mouth Edward," Bella giggled, seemingly pleased that her 'outfit,' should you even think to call it that, had me responding in such a way. She should thank her lucky stars that I wore pyjama pants three sizes too big for me, primarily for comfort, but tonight they served as camouflage for a much bigger problem brewing southerly. I shifted on my feet, feeling a mixture of amusement and mortification at my growing erection. I prayed Bella couldn't distinguish it and that she wasn't simply playing me for a fool, or rather that, saving me from sheer embarrassment.

"Go get ready for bed." She hurried me off to the bathroom before turning away from me and heading in the opposite direction.

I had zero blood flow to the head, well at least to the head on my 's commands were well received. Had it not been for her I would have stayed frozen ogling her.

I slowly made my way to the bathroom in a stupor. When I made my way back into the bedroom I found Bella snuggled up in bed, her soft breathing indicating she was already asleep. I cursed silently, feeling more than a little put out that I wouldn't be peeling the nightie off of Bella but I was plenty happy just to sleep beside her. My problem below the belt would just have to be ignored.

I pulled my sleep shirt off over my head and tugged my pyjama bottoms down, opting to sleep only in my boxers. I was mostly wearing the pyjama bottoms and shirt for fear of scaring Bella off in case I appeared 'too keen,' but seen as she was already asleep I didn't think there would be any problem sleeping in my boxers. I gently got in under the covers, careful not to jostle the bed too much and wake Bella. Just as I was congratulating myself on having accomplished my mission successfully I felt her stir.

"Edward?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"Yes, sweetheart," I answered carefully wondering if perhaps she would be annoyed that I had woken her. "I'm sorry if I woke you." I cringed.

"You didn't, I was waiting for you."

"You were?" I was confused. "You were asleep you know?"

She sighed before turning over onto her side to face me. Her hand immediately rose up to caress my face.

"Edward, I didn't choose to wear this nightie out of comfort. I put it on for you, baby. So you can take it off and have your wicked way with me." She winked, her playful mood back in full swing.

Sleep completely forgotten about. I quickly beckoned Bella over to me, lifting her to sit on top of my lower body. She straddled my hips and lightly gyrated against me, causing me to groan and dig my nails into the flesh at her hips. Bella waggled her eyebrows before leaning down and lightly brushing her soft, plump lips over my top lip as she moved to suck my bottom lip in her mouth. She was driving me crazy. I was having none of that. I wanted a hard, heated kiss and so I rolled us over, hovering above Bella as I ravaged her with my mouth.

Needless to say, I didn't waste any time fulfilling Bella's and my desires.

The next morning we woke up earlier than I had assumed we might. For all her warnings about an early start Bella was the first one up. I got out of bed just as she was stepping out of the shower. I wolf whistled, letting my presence be known.

She laughed lightly, before offering me a twirl in one of the hotel's complimentary white fluffy towels. Afterwards she walked up to me and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "They have continental breakfast up on the roof. Get ready so we can eat together." She smacked my ass, causing me to jump and stare at her in disbelief.

"What was that in aid of, missy?" I grinned.

"That, my dear boyfriend, is revenge." She nodded.

Revenge? What had I done to earn a spank from Bella? Not that I was complaining, not at all, in fact I quite liked it. Her kinky side was beginning to blossom and I noticed she found herself getting more comfortable being around me with every new day. But I still didn't understand Bella's reasoning in the slightest. I knitted my brows, trying to think back and came up short.

"Revenge? How do you mean?" I tilted my head, absolutely puzzled.

"For spanking me when we were visiting your family!"

"Oh," I chuckled, an evil grin automatically plastered across my face. "I rather enjoyed that. Didn't you?"

"No," she smirked, "now go take a shower, Edward! I'm starving and need sustenance. You don't want your girlfriend to keel over. Do you?"

"Of course not, beautiful. I'll get a shower in a sec. Say, why are you up so early? I am almost positive I remember someone warning me of no early mornings." I laughed, stalking towards her, my hands prepared to tickle her.

"My dad called and I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards." She shrugged.

"Oh, is everything okay?" I asked, instantly worried and feeling like an absolute tool for laughing and playing around with Bella moments ago. Perhaps there was an ominous reason for the early phone call?

"No, he just forgets that some of us like to sleep. Plus with the time difference, he gets it wrong sometimes or maybe he just doesn't care. He always teases me that I sleep too much. I think he gets a kick out of waking me up."

"Well I'm glad he called, this means we can take advantage of the early hour. It's only a little after eight. I'm off to obey my orders and grab a quick shower so we can go to breakfast. Think about where you want to go today, sweetheart."

I kissed her on her forehead before ducking into the bathroom.

A couple of hours later we found ourselves walking around the Plaza las Delicias. The fountain was Bella's favorite spot while the Catedral de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe was mine. We spent some time walking around, hand in hand, taking pictures and enjoying the atmosphere.

"Let's walk around the cathedral, I want to get up close and personal with the Parque de Bombas. Did you know it's the most recognized building on the entire island? What with it's distinguished black and red paint job and all."

"I don't think I knew that, but now that you mention it, it's not surprising. I'll save you the waiting in line and tell you what I know of the building. Is that all right?" I raised my eyebrows expectantly.

"Of course it's all right! Now tell me what you know about this Park of Pumps."

"Park of Pumps? Oh, right yes well it's named after the mobile hand-pumped fire fighting units that were once housed in the building. For many years it was actually used as a fire station, in fact it was the first fire station in Puerto Rico. It was originally built for the 1882 Exhibition Trade Fair but was soon repurposed. As you can see, it is now a museum with quite the wait to get inside." I motioned towards the mass of people queuing up to get inside the small structure.

"Wow, you could be a tour guide, Edward. You're really good at this, of course for all I know it could have been a bunch of crap but I bought it all." She laughed heartily as I poked her side and gave her a threatening glare. This only served to make her laugh harder.

"How do you suppose I should charge you for my tour guide services? Perhaps you can treat me to some ice cream? Kings Cream is the best ice cream in town and just happens to be across the street."

"How convenient! Come on I have a feeling you'll be a cheap date." She grabbed my hand as she started walking towards the little ice cream parlor that was located literally just footsteps away from the entrance to our hotel. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. The hotel location was perfection, affording us the luxury of being located at the center of everything we could ever need as well as being close to many of the local attractions.

Of course we would need to drive around some but it was nice to start off the day with a leisurely stroll around the square.

"Hmm, I think I am going to go with the coconut, what about you?" Bella asked as she perused the menu of flavors.

"I'm partial to their passion fruit, it's sublime."

"I'll have to try some of that," she declared, right before walking up to the counter to place our order.

"Buenos dias, como les puedo servir?" The lady behind the counter asked Bella.

"Buenos dias. Dame una barquilla de coco y...un momento por favor." She turned to me, "Edward did you want your ice cream in a cone or in a little cup?"

"Cone, always." I smiled.

"Y un cono de parcha por favor."

The lady scooped our ice cream and handed Bella the cones. I held onto both of them as Bella paid.

"Muchas gracias, que pase buen dia," the lady called after us when she noticed Bella had left a generous tip in her jar.

"Igualmente, gracias," Bella answered with a smile.

We walked out into the street, the heat making out treats begin to melt. I couldn't help but stare at Bella, whose previous display of her mastery of the Spanish language had me drooling. I found intelligence sexy, especially on Bella. If that wasn't enough to turn me into a pool of goo, watching her indulge in her ice-cream was a terribly erotic sight for me.

"Mmmm, this ice cream is so good!" Oh, fuck. And the noises she was making, too! "This is by far the best coconut ice cream I have ever had in my entire life. I could eat buckets of it," she confessed as she savored her ice cream. She was absolutely right, the ice cream was delicious, at least mine was. I didn't much care for coconut so I politely declined when she offered me a taste. I was now craving the taste of something all together very different than that of ice-cream.

She held me to my previous offer and took a big lick of mine. She gave it her seal of approval as well, I just hazily nodded along. Seriously, what was she trying to do to me? Did she even realise what she was doing? How she was affecting me?

Once we had finished our cones we decided to head back to the hotel and plan out the rest of our day. I knew what was first on my plan when we got to our room.

As we walked back I thought about how I wanted Bella all the time, not just momentarily. I was starting to think about forever and I wondered if she felt the same way. I hoped she might.

**End notes:**

_*Buenos dias, como les puedo servir?_

Good morning, how may I serve you?

_*Buenos dias. Dame una barquilla de coco y...un momento por favor_

Good morning, I'll take coconut in a cone...one moment please

_*Y un cono de parcha por favor._

And passion fruit in a cone please.

_*Muchas gracias, que pase buen dia_

Thank you very much, have a nice day

_*Igualmente, gracias._

You too, thanks.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**a/n**

**Thank you for reading! I can't say it enough and I will never tire of appreciating the time you give to reading this story. **

**As usual, I have to give thanks to my wonderful beta, EMILY93 who not only proof reads and edits my chapters but makes the best suggestions that make my story so much better. She's also my pimp. No lie.**

**All things Twilight belong to SM. I have a copy of each of the books, that's all the Twilight merchandise I own. **

~IC~

BPOV

Our first day in Puerto Rico was proving to be one of the most amazing days I had ever experienced while on vacation. Everything about this trip was perfect to me. Our hotel was not ostentatious, it had old world charm and hints of luxury but it wasn't in the same league as the Ritz. The furniture was worn and resembled antiques. It was my kind of place, homey and cosy and, well, lived in... I was glad that Edward had chosen the Melia.

Aside from its overall appeal it was located right by the town square I had been so eager to see. After exploring the square, Edward and I had indulged in what had to be the most delicious ice cream I had ever eaten. The coconut flavor was just right, I could tell it had been made from scratch with all natural ingredients. Artificial flavors tended to taste disgusting but the ice cream, with its creamy and smooth texture was the perfect combination of sweetness and coconut.

Edward's passion fruit ice cream had a slightly tart and refreshing taste. Perhaps on our next visit to the shop I could order that instead.

As we approached our room I felt my phone vibrate in my bag, I decided to answer the call but not before telling Edward I'd meet him in our room in a few minutes.

I sat on one of the benches in the courtyard near our room.

"Jacob!"

"Hey Bella, how are you? How is the trip?" He sounded jovial but there was something else, something I couldn't place. It was almost as if he was nervous about something.

"I'm really good, Jake. The trip has been really great. How are you? And Nessie, how is she doing?"

"Me and my girl here are doing all sorts of awesome. Went running in the park earlier and now we're just lounging. I'd say she's fully recovered."

"That's great to hear. I'm so glad you're both doing well without me. I know how you must be missing me terribly." I teased.

"We do, I do. It's going to be a while before you come home and there is something I need to tell you." Now he really sounded nervous, almost hesitant, even?

"What is it Jake? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Bella, Paul and I, we're together. We're a couple." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I'm gay, Bella. I have been for a while, well I have probably been gay my whole life but I've come to realize it rather recently."

My mind was racing, I was so touched that he trusted me enough to come out to me and I wanted to be supportive. How was it that I had never gotten any 'gay vibes' from him? He is my best friend after all. Surely a best friend should be able to notice such things rather easily? Perhaps Jacob was just very clever at disguising his sexual orientation? Or perhaps I was horribly unobservant?

I didn't want my shock to register with him but before I could censor myself my mouth opened of its own volition.

"Wow. That was unexpected! You, gay? I never saw that one coming." I cleared my throat. "No, sorry Jake. Let me try that again. I'm really happy for you and Paul. I love you and I will support you no matter what." I nodded, regardless of the fact that Jacob would be unable to see my action.

"God, I'm so relieved Bella. It's been killing me to have kept this from you. You're my best friend and I wanted you to know but I wasn't ready to come out yet. I was afraid. If it wasn't for Edward walking in on us... I don't know that I would be telling you right now. I mean, I would have told you eventually but I didn't want Edward to bear this burden." He sounded as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. As I felt my heart swell with love for my friend who had just been very brave coming out to me, my mind realized something.

"Wait, Edward. Huh, so _that's _why he looked like the cat who ate the canary! That day, when we came home from the airport and Paul was there. That's what he saw." I couldn't help myself, the laughter poured out of me.

Jacob joined me. "Yes, Bella. Poor chap saw us kissing and didn't know what to do with himself."

We both giggled for a few moments before Jacob spoke again.

"I hope you're not upset with him over this. He's a good guy Bella, maybe too good and I hope to God he has _some _flaw, a small one but I digress."

"I'm not upset, how can I be? He protected my best friend, he put your needs before his own need to tell me everything. That came out wrong, what I mean is that his loyalty to me had to be put on hold in order for him to do the right thing. In this instance his silence was golden. I'm glad it gave you the chance to tell me yourself. I truly appreciate it, Jake." I smiled.

"You know Bella, if I weren't gay..." He trailed off as I started laughing once more.

"Oh, no! Don't even say it. Not even one word. It's so cliché!" I admonished.

He chuckled down the phone. "Okay, okay. I love you Bella. Thank you for being so understanding about this. I'll see you soon."

"Love you too Jakey. Give Nessie my love."

After I hung up I leaned back on the bench. I sat there motionless for a few minutes before getting up and walking to our room. When I got to the door I realized I didn't have my key. I groaned before knocking.

"May I help you?" Edward said in a snotty tone upon opening the door.

"You summoned me, Sir." I replied, deciding to have a little fun.

"I did?" He asked looking properly perplexed.

"Yes, now I charge by the hour and the clock's a'ticking. Are you going to let me in or not?"

"Well, I have to say for an escort you are quite rude."

At this point I lost it, I could not stay in character a moment longer. My laughter set Edward off and before I knew it I found myself in the middle of our room laughing hysterically while Edward looked at me like I had grown a second head. I guess my laughing fit had lasted considerably longer than his.

"I spoke to Jacob. He told me." I said, seriousness back in my voice.

"Did he tell you I saw them?" He asked carefully.

"Yes, he told me everything. Edward, it means so much to me that you didn't out him. I think it was very noble of you to wait for him to tell me himself. Thank you."

I threw myself into his arms and proceeded to behave like every good escort should.

~IC~

Later that afternoon Edward and I were looking out on one of the balconies of the Castillo Serralles. From this vantage point, located atop a hill just a short drive from our hotel, we could see the entire city as well as the coast. There was a strong breeze that forced me to tie back my hair which had been swatting Edward in the face as he stood next to me.

"This is some view huh? It's no wonder the Serralles family built this as a summer home." Edward mused.

"It's quite nice up here with this breeze, especially now in the summer. I can see why the family spent their time up here. The view doesn't hurt either." I replied, a little distracted but trying to mask that fact. My thoughts kept going back to Jacob and I couldn't help but wonder if his journey towards self discovery had been a lonely one. He didn't seem unhappy, he was always a cheerful and positive person. However, I realized, the more I thought about things, that he had always been very reserved about his love life. He had dated girls in the past, and even had one long term relationship that lasted two years but something never clicked between them. Now I knew why.

As my thoughts pulled me deeper into my own mind I remembered I was with Edward and that this was probably not the best time to analyze the situation nor was it especially polite of me to ignore him. I resigned myself to wait until I was back home to have a heart to heart with Jake and learn all about this most unexpected revelation.

"So, do you want to go to the distillery tomorrow?" Edward asked me just as I came to from my trip to space.

"Huh?" I wasn't being very eloquent. Edward looked me over for a moment before explaining himself.

"The Serralles family owned a sugar cane plantation and a distillery. They made rum, Don Q. Anyway the distillery is not far and I was wondering if you'd like to visit it since it ties in with this museum."

"Don Q, as in Don Quixote?"

"Yes, the rum was named after the legendary fictional character." Edward was smiling at me, perhaps impressed with the question his student had asked. I decided to be an over achiever and asked him a follow up question.

"What happened during prohibition? Puerto Rico was under American rule, so I assume production of alcohol was halted. What did the family do about their business?"

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulder and began guiding me towards the exit before he spoke, "Well, they still had the sugar business, and the distillery was used to produce rubbing alcohol, for medical purposes."

When we reached the car I walked over to the driver's side with Edward and proceeded to open his door for him. Edward looked at me with a look of confusion but quickly thanked me and got inside. I closed his door before walking around to my side. I smiled at my deviousness.

"That was interesting, I have to say nobody has ever done that for me before." He said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

I shrugged, "I think it's silly to have double standards. I like nice gestures as much as the next person but I don't believe only women should be on the receiving end of them. Besides, I've never really cared for the whole chivalry thing, I mean, I don't expect it and I am perfectly capable of opening my own doors and all that. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that those things mean more to me when they aren't the norm, when they are not a robotic reaction rooted in societal expectation."

Edward nodded. "I don't know if I should be relieved or ashamed that I don't open more doors for you." He frowned at his recognition. "I hardly think about it and I mostly do it if I am able to do so but never go out of my way to run in ahead of you just so I can get the door."

"Oh Edward, you are a gentleman through and through. Your mother raised you right. Don't you worry in the slightest. I just wanted to show you, by opening your door, that I like doing small, silly things to show you that I care and that we're on equal footing." I leaned over, stretching my seat belt in the process to press a chaste kiss to Edward's lips, hopefully calming his nerves and settling his doubts.

I worried that he might not understand my convoluted reasoning and I hoped he didn't question me too much because I feared I might slip up and confess that my caring for him started with a big capital 'L'.

Fortunately, he let it go, seemingly unperturbed by my strange behavior.

"Bella Swan, you certainly keep things interesting. Have you made up your mind about the distillery? We can sample the rum, plus the drinking age here is 18 so you wouldn't be breaking any laws."

"I would never miss an opportunity to get shit faced with you my love." At this statement, we both burst out laughing.

~IC~

The next day we went on our tour of the distillery before taking a trip down to the local boardwalk called La Guancha. The boardwalk was lined with kiosks selling food and drinks. We sipped on Pina Coladas while we took a stroll.

"Mmm, this is really good, Edward. I could get used to this!" I confessed in between blissful sips.

"These really_ are _good. We must have gone to a good kiosk. It's often hit and miss at these places."

"So, what's on the agenda for the rest of our stay?"

"We're here for another week and half. I was hoping to head back towards San Juan. I thought maybe we could visit Old San Juan, the forts, El Yungue rainforest and some other places? I have reservations at Hacienda Siesta Alegre and El Conquistador. I may have too much planned so we might need to cut back and have a few days of just lounging by the pool if you'd prefer, sweetheart? We can always come back another time and take in more of the sights."

"Anything is fine with me, Edward. I'm just along for the ride."

"Are you upset with me? I mean I planned this whole trip with zero input from you. You've been a good sport about it all and it's just dawned on me now that you've had no control over what we've been doing. It's all been my suggestions, God I'm such an idiot. Can you forgive me?" He sounded sad, like he actually thought I was upset. I couldn't believe it. He had been so impressively gentlemanly with finding things that would keep us entertained daily but was also, always, completely to my taste.

"What gave you the impression I'm upset? First of all, this entire trip is on your family's dime and I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Secondly, I never give up control. It's been an issue of mine for as long as I can remember and I often thought I would always bear the burden of being in charge, of having to plan, to be the care taker. This has been very liberating to me, to trust you so completely and not take an interest in the logistics of this trip. I've appreciated the lack of responsibility more than you can imagine. What's more, you have made this vacation so enjoyable for me! Obviously you are quite capable of arranging things for the both us to do without my help, Edward. You know me exceptionally well and everything we have done in the past few days I have loved." I looked directly into his eyes, hoping the sincerity of my words would translate through my own eyes.

"I hope that if you are upset at any point you'll tell me. I have it on good authority that most women tend to conceal their true feelings." He eyed me.

"I'm not most women." I grinned, knowing Edward couldn't argue the truth of my statement.

"I'm beginning to realize that now." He said, his voice barely a whisper. I wondered if he meant for me to hear his recognition or if it was merely a case of him thinking out loud.

I took Edward's hand in mine as I spent a moment to stare at him. I studied the way the sunlight made his hair appear almost coppery and how the glare of the rays caused him to squint. His eyes two little slits of green on his face. I didn't often stop to admire how beautiful he was, he was a handsome man to be sure, but his external beauty had always been eclipsed by the show stealing inside that had enamoured me from the very beginning.

We didn't utter a word while we watched the sunset. Everything that needed said could wait. For now we admired the exquisite colouring of the pink and orange sky as the sun made it's descent for the evening. As the sun seemed to sink down into the ocean I sank deeper myself into what had to be my most ardent love for Edward Cullen. Would it be too soon to clue him in on this fact? As I snuggled into him, wrapping my arms around his torso, I decided I would not wear my heart on my sleeve. For now, I would love him quietly, silently. I would show him through my actions and at times, with my body, what I wasn't quite ready to put into words.

~IC~

EPOV

I sat up in bed while Bella slept beside me. Ever since our conversation on the boardwalk she had become a more fervent lover. She practically attacked me as soon as we got back to the hotel that evening and had proceeded to anticipate my needs in the days since then. Not that I minded one bit. It was almost as if we needed to be with each other physically in order to achieve a connection neither of us were able to put into words or even sate. An insatiable hunger, if you will.

I couldn't remember a time when I was so concerned about the emotional well being of another person. The timeline of our relationship was perhaps a little unconventional. We had known each other for just over two months and in that short amount of time we had shared many firsts. I had never been in a position to appreciate a woman's sexual journey. Knowing that each new experience, position and location was not just new to Bella in the sense that it was with a new lover but it was new to her in every sense made me uneasy. A sense of responsibility overcame me and I hoped to God I didn't fuck this up for her.

She slept on her stomach, her face turned away from me for now. Her hair was tied back but the elastic had slipped down and loosened so that thick strands of her hair had escaped its confines. She looked serene, a stark contrast to the perpetually worried or deep in thought look she tended to wear. It was particularly regular for Bella to stare off into space. During these instances she would always seem far away, so far removed from the present that it often took me several attempts to gain her attention.

I smiled to myself as I thought about our time together, which although brief, meant so much to me.

"Edward?" Her raspy voice startled me from my thoughts. "What time is it?"

"Uh, just after three in the morning. Why? Are you feeling all right?" I was instantly panicked.

"I'm perfectly fine. Why are you awake? Was it something I did in my sleep that disturbed you?" She asked worriedly.

"I couldn't sleep. You don't seem to have any bad habits in bed as far as I'm aware. No kicking or blanket hogging." I said teasingly."Although, I'm pretty certain I heard you snore last night." I joked, earning a severe scowl from Bella.

"You lie! I do not snore." She exclaimed, staring me down with a stern look as she pointed a finger at me.

"How could you ever know?" I inclined my head." You're asleep!" I playfully elbowed her in the ribs.

"I have had solid confirmation from past girlfriends at slumber parties that I did not, and do not snore." She folded her arms obstinately, eyeing me with a look that screamed 'I dare you to take this discussion any further.'

"Okay, okay!" I held my hands up in defeat. "I was merely teasing you anyway, and you know it. You don't snore, sweetheart. Am I forgiven?"

As I spoke I slowly slid down onto my back and pulled Bella closer to me.

"You're forgiven." She said as she grabbed one of my arms and proceeded to drape it around her waist.

I wasn't usually for sleeping wrapped around anybody, I didn't think I had ever managed it before but sleep claimed me before I consciously let go of her hand.

~IC~

The rest of our vacation went by painfully fast and before I knew it we were on our way to return our rental. We were both tired and appropriately tanned. I had really enjoyed seeing Bella in a bathing suit, being modest she refused to wear a bikini and opted instead for a tasteful one-piece. It was flattering on her curves but exposed enough bare skin to excite me and yet somehow still left plenty to the imagination. She looked sexy and I secretly rejoiced that no other men could ogle her gorgeous and shapely body, at least not in the state of undress that a bikini would afford.

While I completed the process of settling our bill with the rental company, Bella was chatting with Alice over the phone. We had both managed to keep in touch with our respective families through out the duration of our stay in Puerto Rico. Alice called daily, often suggesting places for us to visit after her extensive searches on the Internet.

"My word, Alice can be exhausting." Bella huffed as she walked towards me. I could only nod in response.

"You should have spoken with her. " She accused. "Seriously Edward, she asks too many questions. Questions I know she wouldn't ask you. Plus she is your sister after all!"

I gave her a knowing smile before making an attempt at calming her nerves. She had been a little moody and I didn't want to be on the wrong side of whatever it was that had caused the shift in her temperament.

"I'm sorry, love. It's just, this is the first time that I actually have a barrier between me and Alice. She is always up in my business and it's quite a relief to not always have to deal with her. Don't get me wrong, I love her and she means well but she drives me mad at times. I'm sorry to have pawned her off on you but I needed to take care of the car business." I hoped I had pleaded my case well enough.

"That's such a rubbish excuse! I could have just as easily returned the car, whatever though, I love Alice. But if she asks me about my sex life one more time, I may just have to tell her where she can shove it."

I winced at her outburst. Bella was really angry about something. Surely any sort of inquisition my sister brought forth wasn't enough to warrant such rage.

"Bella, is something wrong? You're not usually this animated, um... Or pissed off. Did I do something wrong?"

She gave me a cutting look which told me I'd do best to shut the hell up and abort any mission to discover the source of her temper.

"Let's catch the shuttle back to the terminal, shall we?"

She nodded and followed closely behind, each pulling our own luggage. It had been the first occasion throughout our entire trip that we hadn't held hands and I was painfully aware of this fact.

After checking in and going through security Bella and I sat side by side in decidedly unfriendly silence. It was very disconcerting.

"I'm sorry. I've been a complete bitch today." She finally blurted out. My only response was to look at her expectantly, my way of encouraging her to explain further. I wasn't about to agree with her. That would get me into all kinds of trouble no doubt. But she certainly hadn't been her usual self today, I gave her that for sure.

"I'm really ashamed of my behavior towards you. I promise it has nothing to do with you. I've had such a delightful time here with you. I'd hate to end it on a sour note on account of my..." There she was drifting off again. "Well it's nothing anyway. I've put it out of my mind." She gave me her biggest and brightest smile that I could easily distinguish was completely forced.

"Bella, I hope I'm not out of line here but anything that matters to you, matters to me. You hurt. I hurt. Simple as that. What's got you so upset, baby?" I enquired, placing my hand on her knee and rubbing gently.

"My landlord sent me an e-mail. He's putting my apartment up for sale. I'll have to move within thirty days. I've been such a good tenant and always payed my rent on time and yet he couldn't even bother paying me the courtesy of telling me he had put it up for sale. Instead he waits until he's practically closed the deal. I'm furious. I get why he did it. He probably figured that if he told me he was considering putting it up for sale I would up and move and then if he didn't find a buyer he would be without that supplemental income. Keeping me in the dark ensured that he had a tenant until the last possible second." She sighed, evidently mentally and emotionally exhausted.

It seemed Bella very rarely got anything less than a hard time with her life. First it was the loss of personal and very important possessions, then her flat being broken into and her dog being injured and finally to learn that the place she calls home is no longer hers anymore? I admired her constant strength.

I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to my side. My hand rubbing the length of her arm. I kissed her on the side of her head before speaking, "I'm sorry about your apartment. Together, we'll figure something out. I'll help you look for a place. And if you don't find one before time runs out, you can keep your things at my place until you do."

I felt her shoulders sag as she relaxed at my words and I was instantly relieved. I knew of course, that moving in together was out of the question. Even _I_ felt I wasn't ready for that yet, not because I didn't want to, but because I felt that as we were rushing through everything else this was something grave. It was to be considered carefully and not a decision to be made on impulse. I also knew that Bella was independent and would most likely not appreciate an offer to do so.

"Thank you." She whispered, her head resting gently on my shoulder. In this moment, all she needed was for me to hold her.

When we arrived in New Orleans we were both quiet. Each occupied by our own introspection. Our bags were not the first to come through baggage claim but they weren't the last either.

"Your luck with bags has run out." Bella teased. I rolled my eyes at her.

"That's because your bad luck has rubbed off on me." I retorted.

She looked pensive for a moment. "Hmm, touché!" She conceded.

"I think I'm going to catch a cab to my apartment. I think you and Jacob have a lot to talk about and I don't want to intrude."

"Are you sure? Can't we at least give you a ride? Your apartment is probably a mess and needs to be cleaned. I can help with that. I've never seen your apartment, I'd like to go with you. Please?" She was pleading with me and was starting to get a little upset. I didn't understand why she was being so adamant about coming with me.

"Hey." I said as I tilted her chin up with my index finger. "Why are you so worked up? I'll be just a phone call away. You need time with your friend. He needs time with you, too."

"I'm being silly huh? I guess I'm not ready to say goodbye for any length of time. It's just, I've gotten used to your company since being in Puerto Rico together and barely leaving each other's side, so much so, it won't feel right being parted from you. You're right though, Jacob and I need time to chat. How about you come over for lunch tomorrow? I can start looking for apartments and your opinions would be much appreciated. Where is your apartment by the way?"

"Magazine Street. Why? Are you planning on moving closer to me?" I wagged my eyebrows at her, expressing my feelings about the idea. She rolled her eyes and gave me a kiss on the lips which I more than willingly accepted.

An hour later I stood in my living room. My apartment had never felt so empty.

~IC~

After insisting that Edward take the first available cab I stood curbside waiting for Jacob to arrive. I had to all but shove Edward into the taxi, he was dead set against leaving me to wait on my own. He meant well but he was tired and there was no sense in making him suffer with me. After a few well placed kisses and promises of more to come I convinced him to go.

"Bella! I've been trying to get your attention for a while now. You're zoned out." Jacob's arms were around me in an instant. I immediately felt a sense of being home. I hugged him back tightly.

"I wasn't expecting you to park. You usually just pick me up at the curb."

He shrugged. "I thought I'd give you a proper welcome."

"Take me home Jakey." I declared before offering up my bags to him.

On our way home we stopped to pick up some food at La Madeline. The quaint little French cafe was one of my favorite restaurants. I got the chicken breast with mushroom sauce with Rice Provençal and steamed broccoli. Jacob got the croque monsieur and a small salad. We were both starving and the delicious scent emanating from the food made us all but drool the whole journey home.

When we got home I told Jacob to forget about my bags, I was too hungry to lug that stuff inside when we had hot food ready to eat. He laughed at my ravenous state and I almost flipped him the bird. Almost.

Nessie greeted us at the door, her tail wagging and her eyes bright with the happiness that could only come from having me home. She loved Jacob and he was her favorite but I liked to delude myself into believing that she preferred me.

"Hi pretty girl!" I cooed to her as I got down on my knees and let her have her way with me.

"I missed you too sweet girl." I pet her head vigorously as she grunted her contentment. After a few minutes of greeting my long lost companion I picked myself up off the floor and went into the kitchen to wash my hands. I noticed that Jacob had pretty much inhaled half of his sandwich already.

"Thanks for waiting for me, jerk." I said to him as I unwrapped my utensils.

"Sorry." He said in between bites. "I was really hungry. Besides, this isn't a formal affair."

"It should be. I'm home after all. Speaking of which, my landlord sent me an e-mail letting me know he's putting the place up for sale, or rather that he did and somebody is buying it so I have to be out of here in thirty days." I walked over to the table and sat across from him. Nessie quickly took her place at our feet.

Jacob put down his fork, his salad quickly forgotten at this most distressing piece of information. "What a dirt bag. That's hardly enough time to find a place. After Katrina and all that mess it's hard to come by an apartment that's affordable." He shook his head as he considered my predicament. "If I had a bigger place I would ask you to move in with me in a heartbeat. You can stay with me for a while if you have to move before you're able to find another apartment?"

"Oh Jake, that is so sweet of you to offer but don't worry about me. I'll get by. I'm a big girl. I'll figure something out. Your little studio is great to visit but you'd have no privacy if I were to live there for any period of time." I bit my lower lip, considering whether or not I should tell him that Edward had beat him to the bullet and had offered to put me up if it came to that. I decided I should. Honesty being the best policy and all that...

"What? Edward already offered you a place to stay?" He asked, his tone indicated that he wanted to tease me.

"Maybe." I responded. "Mmm, this chicken is really good. Why don't we eat there more often?" It was a poor attempt to change the subject but with some luck I hoped it might work and distract Jake from playing twenty questions with me.

"Bella. Please, what's with all the secretiveness?"

"Well, well, well. Nice to meet you, pot kettle black. I could ask you the same thing." I cocked an eyebrow at him as I speared a piece of chicken with my fork. I knew I had him stumped.

He nodded slowly, sighing. "You got me there, Bells."

He remained silent and I continued to eat while I assumed he was getting his thoughts in order.

"I was just as surprised as you are... About being gay. Paul and I started hanging out a lot when he was still living here. One night we both had a little too much to drink and we kissed. I was so torn up and confused about it. At the same time I felt like everything finally made sense. I felt as if I had finally found my identity. It was very liberating."

I could tell he was still trying to wrap his mind around things. It was a huge change to make. A completely new lifestyle. I was sure he was learning a lot about it and still had plenty to discover. I decided not to press him for the dirty details just yet. I suspected that I was the first person he had come out to and I didn't want to make the process a jarring experience for him. I was sure that other people would ask more impertinent questions. I decided that I would be a refuge from that.

"I'm really happy for you Jake. I don't know how to explain it. It makes no difference to me, gay or straight, I love you for you. Always have and I always will. I only care about your happiness. When you're ready, I would love to hear the whole story."

He chuckled. "I was expecting you to give me a hard time, you know, payback and all. I deserve it."

"That you do, but this is different. You and I both know it. You aren't ready for me to give you any shit."

We stayed up late talking about lighter subjects. I showed him my pictures from my trip with Edward and told him about all the delicious food I'd eaten while away. At around three in the morning we both agreed it was time for bed. I had insisted Jacob stay the night. When he made a bee line for my bedroom I yanked him back and pointed to the couch.

"Stay, boy!" I joked, trying to lighten the mood and terribly awkward moment we were sharing.

"But I'm gay Bella! I think that entitles me to free cuddling and platonic boob gropes." He was pouting.

"Oh my God Jake. Cut that shit out right now. I am not going to be your hag." I tried to be serious but my laughter betrayed me.

I pulled some fresh linens and a pillow for him out of the closet.

"Here." I pushed the pile of bedding into his waiting arms. "All this talk of groping and cuddling has now_ definitely _earned you a permanent spot on my sofa. Sleep well, Jakey. Good night."

I mightn't have wanted my male best friend sleeping with me in my bed but this didn't mean I wasn't comfortable with kissing his cheek good night. And so I did just that before making my way to my bedroom. Alone.

Once in my bed I had a hard time falling asleep. I missed Edward's warmth next to me. I tossed and turned restlessly until exhaustion won out.

~IC~

A few hours later I was awoken by the ringing of my cellphone. I stretched out my arm to retrieve my phone off of my bedside table, unwilling to exert anymore energy than necessary. I looked at the screen through squinted eyes. It was shortly after seven in the morning. I groaned, my dad's name flashed on the screen.

Again? Couldn't my dad learn to call at a reasonable time in the morning rather than waking me up ridiculously early?

I momentarily contemplated ignoring his call and calling him back once I wasn't so hungover from lack of sleep. I couldn't bring myself to ignore the call so I cleared my throat before answering.

"Hi dad." I croaked.

"Bella, how are you?"

"Tired, just got back yesterday and I was up late catching up with Jacob." I yawned at the mention of my very late night.

"I received an e-mail from your landlord." He stated calmly.

"I know! That insufferable jerk is putting me out on the street. I'm going to start the search today. It's going to be such a pain to have you cosign everything from over there." I whined into the phone.

"I already took care of everything sweetheart. You won't have to move." He said cryptically.

"What? I mean, how come? You convinced him not to sell?" I immediately sat up in bed. This phone call had taken a serious turn and my exhaustion and sleep deprivation was all but forgotten about.

"Nothing like that. I bought the apartment."

"You what?" I exclaimed louder than I intended. I instinctively covered my mouth with my hand, as if that somehow took away the fact that I had practically yelled into the phone. "You bought the apartment? Charlie, I can't believe you would do that! Thank you dad. I don't know how I will ever repay everything you've done for me."

"Now kiddo, it's my pleasure and my responsibility as your father to look out for you and take care of you. I was thinking, now that you won't be paying rent maybe you could clear out that second room and rent it out. You can keep that income, I know work study doesn't pay much and you're too proud to ask for a bigger allowance."

"I know just who to ask dad!"

After finishing up with my dad and thanking him for the millionth time, I ran downstairs to a still sleeping Jacob. I practically threw myself onto him. He grunted as I landed on top of him.

"You know, just because I am not attracted to women doesn't mean that I don't suffer from the regular male ailment that plagues us in the morning. So, if you don't want to feel something you aren't prepared for, I would suggest you remove yourself." Even half asleep Jacob managed to come up with a sick warning. He chortled loud as he observed my disgusted expression.

"Gross!" I complained and promptly lifted myself off him. "How much do you pay in rent?" I asked.

"Seven hundred and fifty a month. Why?"

"Because, I just spoke to my dad. He bought the apartment. I don't have to move!"

"What does that have to do with my rent?"

"I'll charge you half that to live here."

He sat up, his hair disheveled and his clothes rumpled. "Seriously? That would be perfect. I could use the extra money."

We made breakfast while discussing his impending move. We were both giddy with excitement. We feasted on scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes. It was the perfect breakfast for a celebration. I couldn't wait to tell Edward.

~IC~

**Anybody have any juicy roommate stories you'd like to share?**

**In college my roommate's boyfriend slept over in our dorm room often. It was a total violation of school policy (I went to a Jesuit school). Anyway one night I heard him trying to proposition her into getting busy under the sheets. I had to speak up and remind them I was in the room. It was awkward but I just couldn't sit by and pretend to sleep through THAT!**

**Until next time!**

**Abby**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**a/n:**

**I don't own anything, I just like playing with other people's characters. **

**Thank you to all of those who read, review, favorite and add to alerts. **

**Special thank you to my beta and special contributor EMILY93. She collaborated a lot on this chapter and I can honestly say (even though she'll try to brush it off) that without her this citrus would have never happened. Her dedication to research is to be commended. If you could all read our notes on this chapter you'd laugh, we had a lot of giggles over this. Thank you for being an amazing friend and making this silliness so much fun!**

**This chapter lives up to the M rating. You've been warned ;)**

~IC~

Edward came over first thing the next day. He was still in his pajamas when he arrived. When he had called me he'd just woken up and I suggested he come over straight away. I told him to bring his suitcase along with him so we could do our laundry together at my place.

Jacob had gotten up at the crack of dawn and left shortly after whispering his apologies and giving me a kiss on the cheek. I thought I heard him say something about meeting up with somebody for a study group which seemed unlikely since classes were not in session yet. I didn't bother exhausting any time questioning what Jacob was up to. I wasn't his mommy and far from it thank God. He was an adult and his own person and could go see whom ever he desired, when ever he desired... Without needing my approval first.

By the time Edward arrived I had made a fresh batch of blueberry muffins and was just about to start grilling rashes of bacon.

"It smells delicious in here," he said.

"Mmm, I'm inclined to agree with you." I smiled at him as he walked over to me to place a good morning kiss on my lips. He then retreated back a safe distance away as I placed a pan on the stove.

"I really could use some more sleep. Remind me, why are we up so early?" Edward asked.

I shrugged. "I guess travelling has us a little off kilter. We should eat some breakfast and go back to bed. I had no intention of staying up."

"Sounds good." He nodded enthusiastically as he answered me.

"Oh, I've the best news!" I was giddy with excitement. I hoped he would be too once I told him I no longer had to move.

The pan was now hot enough to receive the bacon and I gently lowered several strips onto it. As I did so, I remembered that placing it under the broiler would have been a better idea but it was too late to do anything about that now.

"What happened?" Edward asked as he pulled the muffins from the mould and placed them on a serving tray to cool.

"I don't have to move! My dad, he's the buyer. He bought the apartment for me. Isn't that awesome?" I grinned up at him.

His smile widened considerably. He set down the muffin he was picking at and walked over to me. "That is such a relief Bella. I was so worried about finding you an apartment that was affordable and in a good part of town." He pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly as he kissed the top of my head. After our embrace, Edward walked back over to his previous spot in my kitchen and began picking at the muffin again, allowing me to continue with cooking our breakfast.

"I'm going to have a roommate. I've asked Jacob to move in. I get some extra money each month and he pays half of what he does now." I realized as I rambled, rather incoherently I might add, that I was afraid of what Edward would say.

"Hey, why are you so tense?" He inclined his head, looking me over with his curious eyes. His expression almost verged on scrutinising.

He had noticed.

"I'm not, I just..." I didn't particularly know how to finish my sentence. I didn't really know what I was wanting to ask of Edward. "So, um, how do you feel about this arrangement?" I asked.

"You think I'm going to have a problem with you having your best friend living with you?" He had a look of incredulity on his face.

I didn't respond. The silence in my apartment was deafening.

"Bella, come on! You can't honestly think I'm going to be anything but happy about this. This is a good thing. Promise." He leaned over the kitchen bench to kiss my lips. I gladly accepted.

I wanted to tell him how invaluable his support was. I wanted to tell him just how much he meant to me. I didn't really expect him to have a problem with Jacob moving in but part of me was in constant fear of losing him and so this had me second guessing everything in our relationship. Even the pettiest of things. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was too happy, and our relationship was too stable. My fears were more than just insecurities about my attractiveness or any other petty hangups.

I had somehow purged that stuff from my system. Being with Edward made me feel confident, not because he constantly worshipped the ground I walked on or anything of the sort. He brought with him a quiet reverence that fueled my inner goddess. I felt secure when I was with him. Nothing else mattered except being together.

"Are you there?"

His words snapped me back. "Yeah. Present!" I raised my hand as I recalled doing at school back when teachers called the roll.

Just before the bacon was ready to be served, I retrieved the carton of eggs from my fridge. Quickly pouring a small amount of vegetable oil into the pan the bacon had just been cooked in I cracked four of the eggs.

"How do you like your eggs, baby?" I queried Edward.

"Sunny side up!" he called out from the living room.

I smiled at his response. "Great. Just how I have mine."

Once the eggs were cooked, I plated up. I ushered Edward into the kitchen and to take a seat at the table.

"I hope you're hungry," I announced.

"Starving," Edward stated, grinning widely at the spread I had made for us both.

I didn't have an especially big appetite when it came to eating and it never took me long before I was full. This didn't mean I didn't know how to appreciate good food, because I very much did.  
>But since spending so much time with my boyfriend in Puerto Rico, I had come to learn his eating habits. Hence I vowed always to prepare extra to accommodate his caveman like appetite. And this morning I certainly had.<p>

We munched on the muffins, eggs and bacon. He sipped on coffee while I enjoyed my morning ritual cup of tea.

After loading up the dishwasher we headed upstairs to sleep. Sleep, in it's most literal of senses. 

~IC~

Nessie nudged me awake with her damp nose. I startled a little when I found her so close to me. I swiftly wiped the wet away from my face, cringing as I did.

"Hey Nessie," I said as I petted her. "You must need to go out. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting pretty girl. Let's get going shall we?" I carefully slid out of bed so as to not wake Edward.

I went into my closet and changed out of my pajamas and into a pair of yoga pants and a slogan t-shirt. It read 'My boyfriend has buns of steel,' with an image of a superhero beneath it. I wasn't sure how Edward would gauge my choice of t-shirt but I didn't care. I always found it to be hilarious and I revelled in having a warped sense of humour. If anything, I assumed he would be flattered. I slipped on some socks and put on my sneakers before scribbling a quick note to Edward in case he woke up while I was gone. Finally I secured the leash on Nessie's collar and out the door I went with Nessie prancing eagerly ahead of me.

I had walked a few blocks when I saw him.

"James?" I asked incredulously.

He looked up at me and his eyes went wide. "Bella," he said as he put his hands in his pockets.

"What the hell are you doing in New Orleans? And why the fuck did you trash my apartment and injure my dog?" The venom in my voice was evident. I clutched my cellphone tightly thinking that maybe I should just call the police and get this over with once and for all.

"Listen, I'm sorry about how things went down. I didn't mean to break in, I just wanted to see you and get that framed picture of you," he said pathetically.

"You're sorry?" I huffed in anger. "Okay, whatever. Your apology means nothing to me right now. What I want to know is why you broke in. Tell me, how was this supposed to go down exactly?" I stood, right hand on hip whilst my other hand occupied Nessie's leash. My posture made it very obvious to James that I was certainly not amused with his piss poor excuse thus far.

"I'll explain everything, let's go to that coffee shop on the corner. They've outdoor seating and allow dogs."

I nodded and began walking alongside him. I knew I wasn't in any real danger but I considered asking Edward to meet us there anyway. I quickly decided against this. I was not some damsel in distress, I could take care of myself.

When we arrived at the coffee shop I took a seat outside while James went inside for our coffee. He returned only a few minutes later.

"Thanks for the coffee, now spill."

He sighed, "So back in Forks after you testified against me. I went to jail. You were right, I was the one going around damaging property and stealing garden gnomes and shit."

"What was that about?" I asked. "The gnomes, of all things to take. That always seemed bizarre to me." I was tempted to laugh, thinking back to when I'd caught James red handed... Towing garden gnomes under his arms. Then again, it was best I didn't was a serious conversation we needed to have and laughter didn't have a place within it.

"Stupid kid stuff I guess." He shrugged. "My friends and I were assembling a garden gnome army. I've pictures. Anyway, that's not all we stole. It gets far worse than just garden ceramic accessories. We stole wallets, we stole tip money at the diner, I stole from my own parents. When Jacob was framing those pictures I was being investigated. I hid the cash in your frame because it was the only one not sealed up yet. I was desperate." He explained.

"So when you threatened that you'd be back for me, you meant for my picture frame?"

He nodded.

"So then why did you trash my apartment if all you were after was the picture frame?"

"I went with a couple of friends and they picked the lock. All I needed was the frame and I found it as soon as I walked in but we were drunk and they were high. They thought it would be fun to ransack the place. When your dog came out barking and growling one of them got spooked and kicked her. I wanted to help her and make sure she was okay but I was a coward and I ran away."

I nodded vehemently in agreement. "Yeah! You said it James. You're a coward and the lowest of the low to me."

We each sipped our coffee in silence. When my cup was empty I got up to leave.

"I've more questions; like how you knew where I lived and why you're still here but I'm not going to ask any of them. I've had enough now. You made some stupid choices and I forgive you for them but I'm going to have to caution you to stay away from me, my apartment, and most importantly, my loved ones. If I run into you again I will call the police. Be warned!" I stared him down for a moment ensuring he knew I was being serious before tugging on the leash, signaling Nessie to stand.

"Take care of yourself James." I was brought up well enough to always be civil. Even if the individual mightn't deserve such respect paid to them.

I didn't wait for him to answer as I turned my back on him and headed in the opposite direction to the coffee shop.

~IC~

I walked back to my apartment feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I finally had some answers and it turned out James wasn't so much dangerous as he was stupid. I wanted to put the entire incident behind me, after all Nessie and Jacob were both okay and that's all that mattered to me.

I felt a little ill whenever I thought about what could have happened if Jacob had been home when James and his cronies had shown up. Knowing that they were drunk and high made me even more grateful that he hadn't been there.

When I walked into my apartment I found Edward sitting on the couch watching television.

"How was your walk?" he asked.

"More than I bargained for. I bumped into James," I confessed. I thought it best I not lie to Edward about my encounter with James.

"You what?" he practically spat, his whole demeanour set off warning lights that he was livid.

"What was that asshole doing in the neighborhood? Did he try anything?" Edward was almost shaking. I had a mental image of him suddenly growing larger and larger, his clothes being stretched and torn from his body, his skin tone greening as he turned into the Hulk. Again, I wanted to laugh. Twice in one day I wanted to laugh when it was thoroughly inappropriate of me to do so.

"Relax, we just talked and no he didn't try to harm me." I went on to recount the entire story as he listened intently.

After my rather long-winded account of the day's happenings I decided to busy myself with getting Jacob's room ready for him. Edward helped me with the heavy objects, such as the huge table and various boxes of junk. I had him put everything in my room so that I could go through it and decide what I would be keeping and what I simply didn't have room for.

While we worked on Jacob's room we did a few loads of laundry. It was actually fun doing housework with Edward. I found myself not hating it as much I as usually did. I couldn't vouch for Edward but it appeared he managed to grin and bear it for me. Always the gentleman.

"We've been at this for a few hours now," Edward announced.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. Our chores had eaten up our day and it was getting late. Even though we had munched on some snacks since breakfast I was feeling in need of sustenance.

"A little. How about we go back to my place and I make you some dinner?"

I smiled brightly and accepted his offer, "That sounds good. I'll just take a quick shower to freshen up and hopefully this last load will be done by then so we can put it in the dryer."

"I'll fold up my clothes and pack them while you do that." He gave me a fleeting kiss on my cheek.

"Oh. Right," I said, hoping that my disappointment that he wouldn't be joining me in the shower didn't show. I quietly retreated up the stairs to my room.

I had just finished taking off my clothes when Edward entered the bathroom. Startled, I immediately covered my breasts with my hands and crossed my legs together in an effort to hide my exposed dignity. Edward might have been my boyfriend and though I had been intimate with him I was still very much aware of my insecurities with my body, and wasn't especially comfortable standing stark naked before Edward when he was fully clothed.

I gasped. "What are you doing in here?" I asked dumbly.

Edward pulled his shirt over his head before responding. "You looked like you were hoping for my company." His eyes were suddenly hooded and heavy as he surveyed me from head to toe and licked his lips suggestively.

"I, um..." I felt the heat rush to my face as I blushed violently. "Yes I was actually."

"Well then." He undid his pants in front of me. I gulped in anticipation. He pulled his pants down revealing his excitement. No boxers? Edward was going commando? I was both pleasantly surprised and impressed.

"You shouldn't be so afraid to ask me to join you for a shower. I can't think of anything better than seeing you wet and naked. I love your body!"

As I stared at him unable to respond he walked over to the shower and turned on the water. Once the water had reached a suitable temperature he gently led me by the hand and positioned me under the spray. The water instantly calmed me and I felt myself relax.

"Are you back on planet Earth?" he teased.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"Good, because I'd kinda like you here for this." He chuckled. Edward hooked his forefinger underneath my chin and tipped my face up to his level to kiss me. It was a passionate kiss, his tongue played with mine in the most erotic of ways. I felt myself melt into him, a sensation I once doubted existed.

His hands tantalised and roamed my body and mine responded in kind. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. I was only feeling my strong desire for Edward. When he pushed me against the wall I shivered. The heat of the water powerless against these particular chills.

Edward pulled one of my legs up and around his waist. I realized then that his intention was to do this against the wall. I voiced my protest in between kisses.

"I'm too heavy for this," I complained.

"You're not, and I'm offended that you think me so weak. Have you felt my arms?" he replied in a husky voice.

I didn't have time to respond as he lifted me and wrapped my legs around his waist. "Keep them around me." Without hesitation, I complied.

"Tighter," he demanded.

I adjusted per his instructions, gripping him tighter with my legs. "There, just like that baby."

I was feeling very much out of my element and thankfully Edward noticed. "Relax," he crooned as he brushed my hair back, "lean your back against the wall."

As I did so I felt his hands on my butt. As he kneaded my pliant flesh I felt myself becoming increasingly aroused, as if being suspended against a wall wasn't exciting enough.

"You look so good like this Bella." His words were nothing but breathy gasps.

He leaned forward a little and captured my lips with his. As our kissing became more ardent he pressed me harder against the wall. I felt like I could melt right into the tiles and pass on through like Alice through the looking glass.

We continued to kiss and Edward's hands travelled the length of my body. He paid special attention to my chest running his thumbs over the center of each breast. My nipples pebbled at his touch, the delicious sensation causing a moan to escape my lips.

"Mmm, Bella," he rasped, "are you ready for me?"

I blushed, knowing that he was asking me if I was wet. His fingers passed over my slit, before brushing lightly against my clitoris.

"Yes," I breathed, writhing as his fingers prepared me further."I'm ready."

"Indeed you are ready beautiful." Edward offered me a devilish grin. "God, Bella. I don't think I'm going to last long. I'm too turned on. I'll apologize right now if I don't make it past entry."

He chuckled before resuming his assault on my neck, lips and chest. I could feel him on my tummy. Hard and soft at the same time. I wanted him lower. I wanted him inside of me. Now.

"Edward, please," I pleaded. "I can't wait any longer."

He immediately straightened up. One hand travelled between us and he parted my flesh as he probed me, checking a final time to make sure I would be able to receive him.

Edward was an incredibly considerate lover, always aware of my body's reactions and ensuring that I felt as much pleasure as he did, and sometimes even more.

Satisfied that my body had given him the green light, Edward bent a little at the knees and positioned himself to sheath his penis within me. Without breaking eye contact he did just that. Eliciting a shuddered moan from me as I felt my walls stretch to accommodate him.

"Fuck, Bella! You feel amazing." He grunted.

Edward had taken to upping the ante when it came to dirty talk. I swallowed thickly at his remark. I found myself oddly revelling in his potty mouth.

"God, Edward, you feel wonderful. Ugh. You fill me up so completely." I panted.

"You can't say shit like that. I'm about to lose it."

I responded by kissing him. Teasing his tongue with mine, biting his bottom lip before sucking it into my mouth.

He moved within me effortlessly, gliding in an out as we both climbed higher his pace increasing with every new thrust. I was definitely enjoying myself but I was a little distracted by the location. I tried to banish my thoughts from ruining my pleasure as I feared that I didn't have much longer. Edward had already warned me that this would likely be quick. As my panic grew, Edward snaked a hand between us and furiously rubbed me _there_.

My climax came out of nowhere suffocating me in the most exquisite way. I was so far gone I couldn't make a sound. I tipped my head back as I came, knocking my head harshly against the wall however too overwhelmed to feel anything but heightened pleasure. My voice was of no use to me as I rode out my orgasm. The extremity much too great to compete with.

"You're beautiful," Edward stated.

He stilled then, and enjoyed the release my body had brought him. He moaned and grunted as his essence poured deep inside of me.

"You make me feel beautiful," I whispered.

Shaking, he gently set my feet back onto the floor and he rested his forehead against the wall behind me. We were both breathing heavily, breathless after out tryst.

"The water is running cold," I mused, thinking that we had been at it for longer than I first thought.

With a washcloth Edward carefully cleaned me off before leaning forward to kiss just above my core. The act shocked me and yet gave me such a thrill. I was thankful for the shower as it made the cleanup easier. Perhaps we should always have sex in the shower. It was certainly amazing, that much was for sure.

Slowly, Edward raised up off his knees, trailing kisses up my body until he reached my lips. He turned off the water. It was frigid by this point and we had both broken out in goosebumps. I shivered slightly at the chill. He led me out of the shower and wrapped me in a towel before drying me off and wrapping one around his waist.

Silently he grabbed my hand and pulled me along towards the bedroom. When we reached the bed he unwrapped my towel and proceeded to dry off my hair. He did so tenderly, with a gentleness that took me by surprise.

As he continued to dry my hair I glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost 9pm.

"Edward, it's almost nine. We can still go to your place if you'd like. You did promise me dinner," I said teasingly.

"Nah, I like the vibe we have going here. Let's go to sleep and if we wake up during the night I'll fix us something."

"Okay," I said, smiling as I did so. My mind went back to our earlier activities.

"Did you want to put clothes on?" he asked as he handed me my hairbrush.  
>I was too stupid to answer so I shook my head. He smiled.<p>

"Good, I don't want anything between us as we sleep tonight."

We got under the covers and snuggled up to each other. I was physically and emotionally spent, in the best of ways. I felt completely relaxed and at ease.

"Are you okay?"

"I've never been better," I replied. "That was... I've no words. Where did that come from by the way?"

He remained silent for a moment. "Honestly? Your Cosmo."

"You mean my magazine?"

"Yes. I, um. I sort of leafed through it at the hotel. In South Africa, you left it on the coffee table. I had no idea it was that dirty. I rather enjoyed the read."

Even in the darkness I could tell that he was smiling. He was obviously pleased with himself. I couldn't fault him for that. The shower sex had been spectacular.

"Oh, sorry to change the topic but I almost forgot. I received an e-mail from the University of Botswana about their study abroad program. I'm thinking of applying," I said excitedly.

Edward kissed my head. "That's great, Bella. You should definitely apply. It'll be a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Hmm, you're right. It would be. I'm sleepy. Let's discuss this over breakfast in the morning."

"Cafe du Monde?" he asked.

"I would love nothing more."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**a/n: **

**Welcome new readers!**

**Thank you for taking the time to read. It means a lot to me that there are people out there who like my story enough to put it on alert. :)**

**Thank you for the reviews. I love hearing from readers but unfortunately that doesn't happen often. **

**My beta is the lovely EMILY93 who is always so quick to edit and offer her most sincere impressions and suggestions. It makes me so happy to have her on board. The editing process always produces some laughs and I think it's a sign of a good time when you can giggle while doing this. It's all in the name of fun after all. **

**~IC~**

BPOV

The first day of classes was upon me in a flash. Edward and I had spent almost all of our time together in the couple of weeks before school started. I finally saw his apartment. It was a nicely appointed one bedroom studio with an ample kitchen and gorgeous living room. I could tell that Esme had given him a hand with the furnishings because while they were very much Edward, they lacked the undignified college dorm feel.

I was making my way out of Newcomb Hall when my phone rang.

"Alice, how are you?" I asked as soon as I answered the call.

"I'm well Bella. I'm arranging a little trip to New Orleans, I heard you've a birthday coming up," she said rather excitedly.

"Ugh, Alice, I hate birthdays. You don't need to come all the way out here for it. I honestly don't really care to celebrate it."

"That is such crap, Bella. I've been meaning to take a little trip down there anyway, so I thought why not kill two birds with one stone. Besides, Jasper is so excited. Oh, and Rosalie and Emmett are coming, too!"

"You're all coming? Alice, I don't want a big to do. A nice quiet evening with friends is acceptable but nothing crazy," I scolded.

"I'm not some deranged party planner. I just want to see you and Edward. Your birthday is a bonus. We'll be there on Friday the 12th and we all leave late on Sunday night. I'm skipping classes on Friday."

"Way to be a rebel Alice," I teased.

"Whatever, Bella. Say what class are you getting out of?" she inquired.

"Philosophy. I've some Sociology classes this afternoon."

"Sounds painful. Anyway, I've got to get going. See you soon!"

"Bye, Alice."

I ended the call and checked my text messages. I was happy to see one from Edward.

_I hope you have a good day today. Want to meet up for lunch?_

I knew that if he came to campus we would end up spending my entire break between classes together. I already had some work to do and I wanted to get some of it done at the library so that I didn't have a lot of work in the evening. I hesitated before typing out my response.

_Would love to but already have some work to do. I'm going to grab a sandwich and work in the library. I'll be done at 4. Meet up at my place?_

His response came a few moments later.

_Of course. I'll see you then baby._

I put away my phone and started heading towards the library. I felt a little bad about foregoing having lunch with Edward but I figured that since we had spent the last few months together constantly a short absence wouldn't hurt. I also wanted to stay on top of my schoolwork and I feared that my new relationship would distract me from my studies. I needed to strike a balance.

Once I started work study my time would be further limited. I groaned internally at the thought of having to work a few hours every day. I had always wanted to be placed in the library but those positions were highly coveted and once somebody got in they didn't leave until they graduated. In the past I had managed to snag a spot in the philosophy department as an assistant to various professors. It was a clerical job but the hours were set around my schedule which was an advantage to working on campus.

My next class wasn't until 2 o'clock so I spent a few hours in the library before making my way to the food court at around 1. I grabbed a tuna sandwich and a lemonade before making my way back to Newcomb. I sat outside the building and ate my lunch while I scrolled down my e-mails on my phone.

"Hi, Bella!"

I looked up to see Angela approaching, greeting her with a bright smile.

"Angela! How are you? How was your summer?" I asked.

She kissed me on the cheek and took a seat next to me before answering, "I'm fine and my summer was great. Ben and I went to Rome for two weeks and he proposed!"

She offered me her left hand to show me her ring.

"Congratulations! That is so exciting. The ring is beautiful. Ben did such a good job." I pulled her in for a half hug since I had my sandwich in one of my hands.

"Thank you. I'm really excited. I can't believe I'm engaged." She continued to admire her engagement ring.

"When are you guys planning to get married?"

"Right after graduation. We don't want to wait any longer than absolutely necessary. Shoot, I have to run. It was good to see you again. Let's get together properly. I'll send you an e-mail."

"I'd really like that."

"Bye, Bella!" She called out before disappearing into the crowd of students that had begun to gather in front of the building.

Angela and I had had a few classes together and had worked on some projects. We didn't really hang out much but we were truly fond of each other. She was kind and a good student. Her fiance Ben was just as sweet. He had managed to make a good impression the few times we met up with him for lunch.

I left my last class with a huge headache. I hadn't been back to school for even a week and I already had a list of assignments a mile long.

When I arrived home Edward and Jacob were unloading some boxes from Jacob's car. Even though his lease wasn't up until the end of September he had already started moving in and planned to be finished the weekend before my birthday.

"Hey, boys," I said as I opened the door for them to walk inside.

"Bella, nice to grace us with your presence today," Jacob said with a sarcastic smile. I rolled my eyes at his silliness.

"How was your day?" Edward asked before kissing me on the cheek.

"Tiring but good. I have so much work to do already," I complained.

"You'll do fine. You just need to get back into the swing of things. It's always hard after a long summer."

"I suppose. Go dump that box in Jake's room then we can do something." I gave him a small smile.

As he headed up the stairs Jacob came running down.

"Hey, Bella. I was thinking of maybe having a little party the weekend before your birthday. You know like a housewarming. What do you think?"

"That's fine but nothing too crazy please," I pleaded. I was never a big party-goer.

"Great! Thanks, Bella. I'm off to do some laundry. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Jake."

"Bye, Edward. Thanks for all your help," he called out as he reached the door.

"No problem!" Edward yelled back.

Once Jacob had left I made my way up the stairs and into my room. Edward was sitting on my bed fiddling with his phone.

"What are you up to?" I asked.

"Just replying to an e-mail. I've been offered a gig at the Howling Wolf. I'm going to do it. Just a few covers, it's a thirty minute set," he explained.

"That's awesome. I'll finally see you play," I said as I lay down next to him.

It wasn't until I woke up that I realized I had been asleep. Turning towards my nightstand I saw that it was just after seven. I groaned at the time. I then sat up in bed, yawning as I stretched my arms above my head and made to get up.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs I heard the front door open.

"You're up." Edward announced. "How was your nap?" Edward asked as he removed Nessie's leash.

"It was good. Sorry about that, bailing on you... Thank you for taking Nessie out."

"I fed her too, and I made a salad for dinner. It's in the fridge."

"Thank you so much." I walked over to him and gave him a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his nose in my hair.

"You're welcome, love. I've missed you these last couple of days. You work so hard," he whispered.

"I've missed you too."

We shared the salad Edward had prepared and watched some television before heading up to bed at around eleven. I had an early class the next day and Edward had offered to take Nessie our for her morning walk. We hadn't really talked about sleeping arrangements but we ended up sleeping over at each other's apartments on most nights.

The next day was a little easier on me as I closed out my first week of classes. Even though it was Friday I declined Edward's lunch invitation, opting to head to the library again instead.

~IC~

EPOV

"A quiet dinner will be fine, Alice. I'll make reservations."

"What about this party she's having on Friday?"

"Jacob wanted to have a little house warming soiree. They were supposed to have it this coming weekend but things came up and so it got pushed back." I was growing impatient with the game of twenty questions Alice was insisting on playing.

"I see. You know you don't have to be such a grouch, Edward. What's gotten into you?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous about playing at the Howling Wolf tonight and things are a little tense." I didn't want to tell her but I was about to explode. I needed to talk to somebody.

"What's wrong? You can tell me anything, it will be between us," she whispered.

"It's Bella, she's so wrapped up with school. I hardly see her anymore. These past couple of weeks have been horrible. She's always at school or at work and she rarely wants to meet me for lunch. She's dead on her feet most of the time and when she's not running about she's falling asleep on me. I swear it's like I haven't had a real conversation with her since before school started."

I felt like I was whining but I also felt relieved to finally have let it out. My attempts at talking to Bella hadn't been very successful as I found myself backpedaling quickly. It wasn't that she got defensive or anything, I just felt selfish for wanting so much of her attention when she was obviously preoccupied with school. I was so very proud of her that she worked so hard and was so committed to her school work, I only wished she was just as dedicated to me. Her boyfriend. Part of me also figured that because I wasn't doing much of anything I was getting bored.

"Have you talked to her about it? She probably hasn't realized."

"I've tried but haven't really told her explicitly. Well, maybe I have. I don't know. I'm just frustrated."

"Talk to her. I'm sure you two will work it out." Alice's voice had softened and I could tell she truly felt for me and my difficult situation. Was it even a situation that I was in? Was I merely making a big deal out of very little? Maybe men do get PMS? I was beginning to think it was I who was in the midst of the 'time of the month.' I really needed to get a grip.

"Yeah, it's nothing. Just me being emo I guess." I shrugged without realizing Alice wouldn't be able to witness my apathetic body language.

"I'll see you soon!" she chirped.

"Can't wait."

"Bye, Edward. I love you big brother, keep your chin up."

"Bye sis."

I ended the call and immediately sent Bella a text.

_My set starts at 10, I got the earliest slot I could so you wouldn't be out late. _

She surprised me by responding almost immediately.

_Oh that's so sweet! I can't wait. I'm meeting with my study group at 7 so I'll meet you there. Howling Wolf right?_

We finished hashing out our plans via several additional messages. I was excited to have Bella finally see and hear me perform. It was a part of me that she hadn't been privy to before and I wanted to surprise her with a song I had written inspired by her. I was too nervous to eat dinner so I decided that a nap would help me relax.

I headed out to the Howling Wolf at around 8:30. I had done my sound checks earlier in the day so I was going in just to enjoy some music before the show.

When I arrived I was surprised to see Jacob and Paul at the bar.

"Hey, man," Paul said as he gave me a pat on the shoulder.

"Hey, Paul. I wasn't expecting to see you guys here," I replied.

"Are you kidding? When Bella told me you'd be performing I knew I had to come." Jacob smiled as he handed Paul a beer.

"What are you drinking? My treat," Paul offered.

"Abita,thanks. Next round is on me," I stated.

We fell into easy conversation and soon it was almost reaching ten. As lame as it sounds, I had spent the majority of my time sat at the bar with my eye constantly on my wristwatch, watching the big hand tick around. Jacob and Paul could tell I was on edge and had tried to soothe me by keeping me occupied with idle chit chat. It hadn't worked particularly well.

Since I hadn't heard from Bella I decided to try calling her.

Her phone went straight to voicemail.

I sent her a text.

_Where are you? I hope everything is all right. I'm going on stage soon. Call me._

I felt sick to my stomach. Where could Bella be? I expected her to arrive by at least 9:30. It was so unlike her to be late, much less blow me off. As the seconds ticked by my anger rose.

"Where's Bella?" Jacob asked, having noticed me wallowing.

"I've no clue. Have you heard from her at all?" I asked desperately.

"No, well not since this morning. I just tried calling her but it went straight to voicemail."

"Same here." I frowned.

"I'm sorry man," he said as we heard the announcer call my name.

I took to the stage, dragging my feet as I went. I played my set, but my heart wasn't in it. Everybody cheered and clapped at the end of it but I had no real recollection of what I had played. I felt completely numb. I never bothered playing the song I had wrote for Bella. I didn't see much point without her being here to hear it. I was equal parts angry, worried and disappointed with her.

I made my way through the throngs of people and finally found my self outside. I decided to walk to my car before trying to call Bella again.

She answered on the first ring.

"Edward, baby I'm so sorry. I fucked up, I know I did. I missed your fucking set. I lost track of time and I had set an alarm on my phone to remind me but it died. Oh, Edward you don't know how sorry I am."

She was sniffling and I knew she was crying.

Defeated, I responded, "It's okay. Please don't cry. Are you home?"

"I just got home."

"I'm on my way over. We can walk Nessie together."

"Okay," she croaked.

The drive over to Bella's took less time than I hoped. I needed to get my thoughts organized as I didn't want to fly off the handle and say stuff I would later regret. It was obvious that Bella was an overachiever and did not know how to live a balanced life. I wanted to help her reach a happy medium but my interests would be seen as selfish.

She opened the door and threw herself into my arms, jumping up and wrapping her legs around me as she did so.

"Edward, I'm sorrier than you'll ever know. I'm the worst girlfriend ever. I'll make it up to you I promise."

Without giving me a chance to respond she attacked my lips violently, initiating a make out session which I am sure would have culminated in some sex of the makeup variety.

I gently pried her off me and set her down on the floor.

"It's okay, sweetheart. No harm done. You'll catch another show. We're both tired, let's go to bed. We can talk tomorrow."

"No. Please, let me do this for you," she said softly before making as if to kneel in front of me.

Figuring out what she was about to do I moved backwards and shook my head. A blowjob from Bella would be amazing but not like this, when she was feeling obligated and her all over the place emotions were fuelling her to do this.

"This feels wrong."

"I guess an 'I'm sorry' blowjob is a faux pas?" she asked.

"Baby, you kneeling like that just because you feel bad is all kinds of wrong. You don't have to do that. Ever."

"So let's talk." She changed the subject quickly.

"You need to ease up on your schoolwork. I'm worried about you. You're spreading yourself too thin." I was trying to tread carefully.

"It seems that way now but I'm okay. I promise I'll do better."

I could tell that she didn't want to seem defensive because her tone was strained.

"Bella, I just want to make sure you're happy. I've never seen this side of you. You're intelligent and obviously take your academics seriously. I fully support that." I was about to continue when she interrupted me.

"Exactly, you only know the summer fun Bella. There is a reason I've only had one serious relationship. I'm trying here, I know it seems like I haven't been here these past few weeks but I'm just getting organized. I need to do well in these classes."

After she grew quiet I became exceedingly aware that this was not a battle I was going to win tonight. Perhaps it wasn't a battle at all. I should lay off and be glad to see her at all.

"Love, I don't want to see you upset. Let's take Nessie for a walk and go to sleep. We're both spent."

She took my hand in hers as we silently walked a couple of blocks.

~IC~

The following week was crazy with activity. Bella and Jacob were fully committed to their party and it was fun to see them both planning what they liked to call 'a quiet, dignified affair'. They had scrubbed the apartment from top to bottom and had ordered several flower arrangements to spruce up the place. Bella had even invited me to lunch twice during the week. She had been a little distracted with some reading during our lunches but I was happy with the progress she had made to our relationship. It seemed my talk had somewhat resonated with her.

Alice and the gang were due to arrive at around five and would be checking in to their hotel before coming over to Bella's for the party. There would be a total of about fifteen of us. Bella and Jacob had opted to serve hors d'oeuvres along with a variety of wines and champagne.

I arrived at the apartment a little before seven. Bella greeted me at the door dressed in a black wrap dress, her hair was pulled back into a messy chignon. I would not have known what to call her hairstyle had I not spent so much time with Alice and Rosalie.

"You look very handsome," she said, smiling at me.

"And you're every bit as beautiful as you always are," I said before kissing her.

I helped her set out some platters and various other things that she wanted to put out. We worked quickly, and quietly. We were so in sync that even our wordless collaboration was fluid. Even as we enjoyed the companionable silence I couldn't shake a nagging feeling that something was wrong. Bella seemed a little distant. I wondered if it had anything to do with her birthday the next day.

Before I had a chance to ponder the matter any further there was a knock at the door. The first guests had arrived.

"Angela, Ben. I'm so glad you were able to make it," Bella crooned as she pulled her friend in for a hug.

"We're thrilled to be here. This is such a nice place you have here, Bella. I love your furniture."

"Thank you!" Bella gushed. She was laying it on a bit thick but she played the part of graceful hostess perfectly. "Ben, congratulations on your engagement. I couldn't be happier for the both of you."

"Thank you, Bella. And thanks for having us over," he replied, wrapping an arm around Angela.

"My pleasure. Oh, and this is Edward," she said as she turned to me, holding out her hand for mine. "My boyfriend."

"A pleasure to meet you both," I said to them before offering my hand to Ben and giving Angela a kiss. "Could I get you some wine? We have red and white, we also have champagne."

"I'll have a glass of red," Ben replied.

"Bella, let's have champagne," Angela said excitedly.

"Sure, champagne it is. Thanks, love." She had a warm expression when she locked eyes with me. I quickly made my way into the kitchen while they made themselves comfortable on the couch.

"Hey, Jake. Where have you been? Your guests are arriving." Jake was pulling out a bottle of wine from the rack.

"Oh, I was just getting ready. Lost track of time for a minute. Say, can I ask you something?" He had a serious look about him.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Do you think Bella is pissed at me for something?"

"No, why? She hasn't mentioned anything."

"It's nothing. I don't know. She's been kind of short with me lately and she's never around. Like she's here but she's not _here_. She won't meet me for lunch, always too busy with this or that. I can't recall her ever being like that in the past. Bookworm for sure, but not like this."

So it wasn't just me, I thought.

"I tried to talk to her about it but..." I trailed off as I shook my head.

"Yeah man, well let's end this little hair braiding session. I think your family has arrived," he said, walking away as he did so.

I quickly uncorked the bottles and poured our drinks, loading up a tray with extra champagne flutes.

"Oh my goodness I love this place. So much prettier than Edward's man cave." I heard Rosalie say.

"Oh, his place is lovely. I love it there," Bella said quietly.

Jasper and Emmett had already recruited Ben into their testosterone zone and the three of them were talking rather animatedly about something.

"Edward!" Alice sang as she skipped over to me. Her eyes were bright and a little beady. I suspected she had already imbibed.

"Champagne my darling?" I asked teasingly.

She gave me a kiss on the cheek before picking up two flutes. She gave one to Rosalie.

"Edward, how the hell are ya?" Emmet asked, pulling me into one of those strange male hugs that involve several hard slaps on the back.

"I'm good, want some wine?"

He shrugged, "Sure. I'll go with white."

"Jasper?" I asked as looked in his direction.

He gave me a handshake while continuing his conversation with Ben. He shook his head no.

When I returned with Emmett's wine the rest of the guests had arrived. I had unwittingly assumed the role of waiter and so I was going back and forth between the living and dining area and the kitchen.

Jacob went around with the appetizers.

As the evening wore on I tried to get Bella's attention but she was always busy with a different guest. Aside from asking me for a drink she hadn't interacted much with me at all. When she brushed me off as I was trying to kiss her I decided I had had enough. I wasn't going to settle for her behavior around me any longer.

I made myself scarce and went up to her room where I fell back onto the bed. Everybody seemed to be having a good time except for me. I was angry, mostly at myself for being in such a rotten mood but Bella was largely responsible for my mood.

A while later I noticed the noise subside and a few moments after that I heard Bella at the door.

"Hey, why are you up here?"

"Didn't feel like being down there anymore."

"Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett missed you. They've gone back to their hotel. Everybody left."

"I'll see them tomorrow." I knew I was being very short with her.

"Why are you being like this?"

"Bella, I hate what's going on here."

"What do you mean?"

"You completely ignored me tonight, pushed me away when I was trying to be affectionate and treated me like a waiter for hire. I wasn't exactly having a good time watching you play the high society hostess." I was trying to keep my voice even but I was losing the battle.

"Excuse me? What the fuck are you saying here?" she all but screamed.

"There is no need for swearing," I muttered.

"Oh there fucking is a fucking need for fucking swearing!"

"Bella, listen to yourself. What's gotten into you?"

"I don't like you very much right now and as to what's gotten into me well nothing. Nothing, since my boyfriend is too busy sulking to make love to me."

I couldn't help but gape at her dirty insinuation.

"Okay we're both a little hot under the collar. How about we cool down for a bit."

"No, Edward. I will not cool down!"

"What the hell do you want from me?"

"That! That is what I want from you. Show your feelings. Get pissed at me, give me what I deserve."

"You want me pissed? What? About you not having any time for me or for your friends? About you missing my fucking set the other night? I'm upset, Bella. Believe me I am. But I think your needs supersede mine at this point in time."

Her chest was heaving, her face reddened with rage and her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Yes, that. This whole relationship has gone to shit. I've been avoiding this conversation but we need to have it. You need to let yourself feel whatever it is you feel. I failed you." She was crying now but her tears did not endear her to me. She was making a scene.

"Don't try to manipulate me with your crying. It's beneath you. Yes, things are a little messed up but that's okay. You're going to do better about not hiding in your schoolwork 24/7 and I'll do better about not being a needy boyfriend."

"Fuck you with your tear manipulation bullshit. I don't want you here right now. Please leave." Her words were punctuated by sobs that made her entire body shake.

"You don't mean that. Bella, please. We are having an argument. We can't solve anything if you send me away."

"I said GET OUT!" She screamed this time.

With a heavy heart and my head hung low, I left.

~IC~

I didn't sleep at all that night. I didn't like the way things had panned out the night before. I had never seen Bella so unhinged. She had never yelled at me before and had certainly not cursed at me. Aside from a few well placed expletives while we were both naked she wasn't one to swear at people. She swore about them but never to them.

It was shortly after 8am when I made my way back to her apartment. I needed for us to talk, to work this out before it got to be too much. It was also her birthday and I wanted to kiss and make up so that she would have a good one.

I tried calling her on my way over but the call went straight to voicemail. When I got to her apartment I knocked for ten minutes before one of her neighbors came out into the hallway and gave me a dirty look.

I lurked outside her building until I couldn't wait any longer and I called Jacob.

"Hello." He was obviously sleeping.

"Jacob, I'm sorry to call you so early."

"No worries, what's up?"

"I can't get a hold of Bella. We got into a fight last night and she kicked me out. I can't reach her on her cell and she's not answering the door." Even to my own ears I sounded desperate.

"I'll be right there."

Less than fifteen minutes later Jacob was letting both of us into the apartment. It was spotless. Bella had obviously taken her rage and channeled it into her cleaning.

I went to the kitchen and looked on the fridge for a note or clue that might indicate her whereabouts.

"There's nothing up here," Jacob said. "Her bed is made."

"She didn't message you or anything?" I asked pathetically.

"Nothing. I even checked my room for a note."

I tried calling her again. When her voicemail came on I decided to leave a message.

"Bella, it's me. I'm at your place with Jacob. We're both worried about you. Please call me and let me know where you are. I need to know you're all right. I'm sorry about last night."

By noon I was frantic. I couldn't understand where she could possibly be. I was so out of my mind I wanted to file a missing person's report. Jacob pointed out that she hadn't been gone the requisite 24 hours.

Two o'clock - I left a second message.

"Bella, I was hoping to be able to say this face to face. Happy Birthday baby. I wish I knew where you've run off to so I could come get you and kiss you until you're gasping for breath. I'm worried sick. Please call me. Come home."

As I ended the call I heard Jacob leaving his own message.

"Isabella Marie Swan you are so fucking dead. I'm about to go crazy bitchy gay guy on your ass. Edward is about to puke over here, that's how sick he is over this. You over dramatic bitch. Get your ass home or so help me I will smack you silly when I see you. I love you by the way. Oh and happy birthday skank."

I almost laughed. Almost, had I not been so sick with worry.

~IC~

After I heard Edward leave I broke down into a fit of hysterical sobs. You know those spells where you're so consumed with your own grief, anger and sadness that nothing you do offers you the cathartic release that you need to feel better. I buried my face in my pillow and screamed as loud as I could until I could feel my throat becoming raw.

I didn't know what was going on with me. I felt like I had spiralled out of control. I had somehow become a self absorbed bore that would rather study for stupid classes that I would pass regardless instead of enjoying my wonderful college life alongside my equally wonderful boyfriend.

I was ashamed of my behavior towards Edward. I was rude and disrespectful. He had barely raised his voice at me which surprisingly only bothered me. He was a pushover, well, maybe that wasn't the right term but he definitely did not have what I would consider a normal reaction to the vitriol I slung at him.

My mind was spinning, overwhelming me with thoughts that I couldn't control. I could feel a bubble of anxiety rising and I knew it was only a matter of time until I was experiencing a full blown panic attack. Remembering the intensity of these attacks made me ill. I ran into the bathroom and found my emergency bottle of Xanax. I hated taking these pills but found it better to stave off a full scale attack than experience the feelings of dread, doom and various physical symptoms that my panic brought.

Hoping that I hadn't drank enough so that taking the Xanax would render me unconscious I took the pill with a big gulp of water.

I decided to try to get my mind off things by cleaning up. There wasn't a huge mess by any means but there was still plenty to do. I picked up all of the glassware and set it by the sink. I loaded up all the plates and silverware into the dishwasher. After it was running I set about to wash the glassware by hand. I had made the mistake of placing champagne flutes in the dishwasher once. I ended up with broken stems.

At around 1am I needed to get out of there. I couldn't face the mess I'd created and I felt like I didn't deserve to celebrate my birthday. Even more, I felt that I just wouldn't be good company for Edward's family and friends. I would surely embarrass him and myself.

Feeling completely alone and with a strong desire to flee I flitted around my apartment packing a small bag. I wanted a slice of home. I wanted my mom.

Doing what was possibly one of the most spontaneous and unplanned things I had ever had the inclination to do, I called a cab and headed for the airport.

I arrived at Jacksonville International Airport a little past 8am. My mom wasn't expecting me and I had yet to call her to let her know I was in town. Even though it was entirely possible that she and Phil wouldn't be home I knew her to be pretty good about letting me know of her travel plans.

Almost an hour later I was standing at her front door, suddenly thinking that this running away business was possibly going to end up doing me in further. I decided that since I was already there I might as well stay and visit. I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

My mom opened the door, she was still in her robe.

"Bella? Oh, honey what happened?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

Unable to respond, I simply fell into her open arms and cried.

A couple of hours later I was laying down on the couch with my head on my mom's lap. She had stroked my hair soothingly as she listened to my tale of woe.

"Honey, Edward sounds like such a charming young man. In all your emails to me you've only had good things to say about him. Now I know you have probably only shared the good, and honey, there seems to be a lot of good," she said softly once I had finished recounting the sordid tale.

I didn't leave anything out, and I didn't edit to make myself seem like less of a crazed psycho.

"He's great mom, maybe a little too great. He's not as impassioned as I am and he never yells. It's weird," I countered.

"It seems to me, that while you're both smitten with each other, there is still a lot you need to discover and learn. Maybe there is a reason he's the way he is. And who says that just because he doesn't fly off the handle like you're accustomed to, that he's anything but normal?"

"I've really fucked this up, huh? I kicked him out then proceeded to run away like the coward I am. I haven't even let anybody know where I am."

"Oh, Bella. What will I do with you? Your mouth has only gotten filthier with age. Do you curse this much around Edward or is this only a special treat for me?" she teased.

"I'm a sailor at heart, what can I say?" I shrugged.

She rolled her eyes.

"You need to get yourself together, Bella. Then you need to call that poor boy who is likely worried sick and let him know where you are. Come to think of it you should probably call Jacob too. Your father told me he was moving in with you. It didn't escape my notice that you failed to tell me about this and about your father purchasing your apartment."

I sat up, "I didn't know you and dad talked."

She gave me a knowing smile. "There is a lot of things you don't know. Your father and I will always be first and foremost your parents, we both have a duty to you and neither of us takes this lightly. We keep in touch. Things aren't the way you remember them once being."

We had never really spoken about their relationship post divorce. It was strange to know that while I had remained blissfully unaware and mostly unaffected by their quarrels that they had managed to overcome their past troubles and join forces for the greater good. For my benefit.

"I'm sorry I didn't mention it," I finally managed to whisper. "I didn't intend to hide it from you. I just worried you'd ask all sorts of questions."

She laughed then, telling me that it was just like me to think I knew it all. Since her husband was out of town for the weekend we were able to indulge in the cliche girl ritual of junk food and sappy movies.

It was dark when I got around to turning on my phone. I listened to Edward's messages and was in tears by the time I heard his third and final message but it was Rosalie and Alice that gutted me like a fish.

"Bella, it's Alice. Edward is finally asleep and so I'm calling you now. What happened honey? I've never seen my brother so close to tears. We're at the Columns Hotel on St. Charles. He refuses to go to his apartment. I hope you're well. Happy Birthday sweets."

I could hear the rustle of the phone being passed on to somebody else.

"I'm going to give her a piece of my mind. Bella, hello. It's Rosalie, anyway Happy Birthday I suppose. Alice is too nice to tell you that you're being unreasonable. How can you disappear like this when you knew we are all here for you? You not only blew off your friends but you are engaging in attention seeking behavior by staying gone. You better be in one piece. Call us bitch!"

I allowed myself to cry for a few minutes before making the call that was long overdue.

"Bella? Baby, please talk to me," the desperation in his voice broke my heart.

"I'm in Florida. I'm with my mom," I whispered.

"When are you coming back?"

"Tomorrow," I said. "Listen, I know we have a lot to talk about. My actions are inexcusable and I'd like the chance to apologize properly, in person."

"I was so worried. I literally threw up from worry. And Jacob, God. He's torn up too. He's really mad at you by the way."

"He's not the only one I'm sure."

We both remained silent for a moment. I could hear the thumping of my heart. With each beat I could feel my love for him circulating. I loved him so much and I hadn't told him and now I might never get the chance to. Surely he was only being nice to me because he was relieved that I was okay.

"Well, I've some calls to make. Would it be okay if I came over tomorrow? My flight gets in at seven. I'll catch a cab over there."

"I'd like that."

After that slightly awkward conversation I decided to call Jacob. I braced myself for a good verbal lashing.

"Finally!" he exclaimed as soon as he answered.

"Jacob, I'm in Florida." I sat on the bed, tucking my hair behind my ear with one hand. My hands were shaking.

"I'd love to chat with you but I'm all kinds of ticked off right now and I don't want to say something I don't mean. I'll see you at home."

He hung up and I finally exhaled. The business of facing the music was exhausting and nerve wrecking.

Taking the easy way out I decided to send a message to Alice.

_Alice, I'm alive and well in Florida. How well I am is yet to be determined but whatever. I'm sorry about everything. I'll contact you soon. xo _

_Oh my goodness, Bella. I've been so worried. We'll talk soon. Travel safe. _

I was grateful that Alice had been so graceful. Her kindness was not something I felt that I deserved. I readied myself for bed wondering what exactly awaited me back in New Orleans. I hoped that I would be able to make amends.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**a/n:**

**Thank you for reading/reviewing/adding to favorites and alerts. I treasure each interaction you all have with my story.**

**EMILY93 is my friend/pre-reader and beta extraordinaire. She indulges my silly emails and offers me her honest opinion on everything from plot development to gift ideas. I can't say enough about her or thank her enough. She's great and is the most lovely person I've met as a result of my writing. I love her to bits :)**

**~IC~**

BPOV

When the plane touched down in New Orleans I was a ball of nervous energy. I hadn't spent much time with my mom but the time we spent together was not in vain. I didn't really celebrate my birthday and if I was to be honest the day was a sore subject at the time.

My mom sent me home with a tin of cookies for Edward along with the kind of motherly advice only she could offer me. A little piece of myself had been healed. It was a funny thing my relationship with my mother, although we often went for long periods without speaking or seeing each other we always stayed in touch via email. We both found the written word to be a better vessel for our communication than the spoken one. I also liked to think that perhaps one day we could compile our more memorable exchanges into a book.

I sent messages to all parties that would appreciate knowing that I had landed safely. Responses came in sporadically as I made my way through the terminal and out of the airport.

The cab ride to Edward's was interminable. I didn't remember it taking such a long time to reach Uptown. When the car finally came to a stop I handed the driver enough to cover the fare and a hefty tip. I grabbed my satchel and my duffel and practically ran all the way to Edward's door.

I couldn't decide whether to knock with my fist or use the knocker. I ended up doing both simultaneously. The door opened almost instantly.

I almost gasped when I took in Edward's appearance. In the short amount of time we had been apart he had managed to look a mess. What a state he must have been in. I was immediately ridden with guilt for the hurt I had caused him. I really was a terrible girlfriend, and if Edward awarded me with the chance to change my ways, well I'll be damned if I didn't.

"Come in," he said. His voice was even and void of any emotion. Oh, fuck, judging by Edward's demeanour I am so dead! Ugh, there I go again with my potty mouth. I needed to get a handle on my language for was certainly one of my mom's many tips for a, and I quote," classier and happier Bella."

"Thank you." I hung up my satchel on one of the hooks by the door and sat my duffel on the floor. Nerves were getting the better of me and I weaved my fingers together keeping my eyes on the floor.

"I owe you an apology. I'm sorry," I began.

Edward nodded and led us towards the couch. We each sat on opposite sides.

"Friday was a culmination of weeks of bullshit." I winced at my expletive. I had been doing so well at curbing that nasty habit. Well... At least out loud I had. I shook it off and continued, "You were right, you are right. I don't know what has gotten into me. I've become obsessed with studying. I want to be perfect, or as perfect as I can be. Maybe a small part of me felt like I had to impress you."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"I know it doesn't make sense. It's nothing you've done. You're just so nice and so amazing I felt like I needed to be amazing too. Plus I wanted to show you that I have a life outside of_ thi_s, us. Our relationship. I've thought a lot about this, about what subconscious force was driving me to over extend myself like this.

"I've come to the conclusion that I freaked. I was afraid of the success of our relationship. I'm sorry to beat a dead horse, we've hashed and rehashed this a million times but part of me is afraid that this will all end in a puff of smoke. That tiny remnant of doubt grew into a huge tree of stupidity.

"You didn't deserve what I did. You didn't deserve what I said to you on Friday. In fact, I crossed a line. I disrespected you. I used words that are unacceptable during an argument. I make no excuses. I'm just, sorry. I hope you're able to forgive me."

For the longest time the only sound that could be heard was that of our breathing and the wall clock in the kitchen. I had often heard silence being described as deafening but had never truly understood or believed the expression. I now did.

"I forgive you, Bella. I don't even know where to begin here. Firstly, I never in a million years thought that I would ever come to care about anybody the way I care for you. You're a part of my life, much like my family. Except with you I don't know where you end and I begin.

"I'm scared too sometimes. We haven't known each other all that long and yet it feels like I've known you forever. There is a strong sense of familiarity regardless of all the things we have yet to learn about one another. This whole issue with you being too busy for anything is silly. I don't even know how to explain it without feeling pathetic.

"The bottom line is I'm in this for the long haul. If you end up going to Botswana I hope you are okay with me coming with you. Because there is no way I'm going to be able to stay away from you from any extended period of time."

All I could do was nod. I used my index finger to wipe away a few stray tears that managed to escape.

In an instant, Edward closed the distance between us and pulled me to his chest. His arms surrounding me and gripping me firmly. I cried soundlessly into his chest, moistening his shirt with my liquid sorrow.

We sat there, clutching one another until our bodies became too stiff and sore to remain like that.

EPOV

Bella fell asleep as soon as her body sunk into my bed. Finally looking peaceful after what had been an emotionally draining weekend.

I wondered if she would be able to make it to her classes tomorrow but figured that she would likely want to go to her classes. At this point it was probably the one ray of normalcy that she was holding onto. School was the one entity unaffected by the last couple of days.

Before going to sleep I decided to send Alice a message.

_Bella is spending the night. Asleep already. We talked. Things are okay._

Not long after sending it my phone vibrated with an incoming call. I rolled my eyes in annoyance but carefully made my way to the kitchen where I wouldn't disturb Bella's slumber with my voice.

"Alice, why the hell are you calling me? It's late," I admonished.

"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were really okay. You were a mess when I last saw you."

"I appreciate your concern and I'm fine. Promise. I'm sorry I was such shitty company this weekend."

"Stuff happens. Besides, we still enjoyed New Orleans. Our flight leaves early tomorrow. I'll call you once we land."

"Have a good trip back. And Alice, thank you. For everything."

"Good night."

"Night, Alice."

I walked back to the bedroom and chuckled at Bella's positioning. She had rolled over to my side and was hugging my pillow. Her messy hair covered most of her face, only her pouting lips were visible. I leaned down over her and placed a kiss on her lips.

Her mouth curved into a smile and her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, I missed you," she croaked, her voice thick with sleep.

"I'm here now. What do you say you scoot over and release my pillow?"

"If I must," she said.

By the time I got situated in bed she was already asleep again.

~IC~

"Edward."

"Edward, wake up."

I heard a distant whispering of my name followed by a nuzzling on my neck. I slowly opened my eyes. Bella was laying on her side, her arm was bent at the elbow and she was resting her head on her hand. She was wearing a goofy grin but it was slightly guarded.

"Morning," she whispered.

"Good morning, sweetheart," I said after clearing my throat.

"Sorry to wake you so early. I um, need a ride home to get ready. My first class is in about an hour." She looked embarrassed to be asking me for a ride.

"Let me get ready and I'll drive you."

I jumped out of bed and quickly made my way into the bathroom. I didn't have time for a shower so I just brushed my teeth and washed my face before changing into jeans and a shirt.

"That was quick," Bella observed once I had declared myself ready for departure.

"Come on, if we hurry we can stop for coffee." I picked up her duffel on my way to the door.

"I'm hoping that Jacob is not at the apartment. I'm not ready to face him yet."

"He's been staying at Paul's since Friday. I doubt he's there," I offered by way of consolation.

"I keep forgetting he's in a committed relationship. God, I'm such a bad friend." She ran a hand through her hair in what I assumed was frustration.

"Sometimes we lose our way. It's the ones that love us that steer us back on course. Jacob is your friend, he loves you a heck of a lot. I'm certain if you two have words you'll both be fine."

"I sure as hell hope you're right," she sighed.

We were able to stop for coffee and had just over 40 minutes to spare when we arrived at her apartment.

Bella rushed in and started getting ready. Since Nessie probably hadn't been walked since the previous evening I decided to make myself useful and take her out. We got back just as Bella was coming down the stairs.

"Oh, thank you! I didn't think I'd have time to walk her."

"You're welcome. Are you taking your car or do you want me to drive you?" I asked.

She glanced at her watch. "I don't think I'll have time to find a parking spot. Would you mind dropping me off? I can find my own way back."

"What kind of a man do you think my mother brought me up to me?" I asked indignantly.

"Touché. So you'll pick me up this afternoon?"

"Most certainly. In fact, I'm looking forward to it."

That finally earned me the first genuine smile since she had gotten back.

After dropping her off I made my first and most important phone call of the day.

"Jake, I need a favor."

"Sure."

"I'd like to do something special for Bella tonight so I'm going to need to get into the apartment."

"That's not a problem. I don't have class until 11 and I need to go home to change anyway so meet me there in 30 minutes."

"Okay but there's a part two to this. I need you to talk to Bella, before tonight. You need to get shit off your chest and clear the air. She's dreading it but it needs to happen."

"What the hell, man. You planning on proposing or something? What's the big deal here?"

"I just want to make up for her birthday, cook her dinner and the like. She'll enjoy herself more if she's gotten all the fighting out of the way." I was hoping that Jacob would see my point.

"You drive a hard bargain. I'll demand she meet me for lunch. Oh, and you owe me. I'll see you in a bit."

"Thanks. I'll see you soon."

~IC~

BPOV

The vibrating in my pocket snapped me back from my daydream. I was not paying attention in class. Unable to focus, I had been staring absentmindedly at random specks on the wall.

I pulled out my phone and saw a text from Jake.

_I'm picking you up from Newcomb at 12:30. We're going to La Madeline for lunch. And no, you don't have a say in this. _

I decided to take a little trip to the bathroom in order to respond.

_I will see you at 12:30. _

It worked out that because I was dreading what was coming after class that the rest of my classes that morning went by really quickly.

I took a deep breath before opening the passenger door and getting into Jacob's car.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Bella, we've been friends much too long for you to pull that meek bull with me. You fucked up and I'm going to set you straight in a minute but for now let me just say that I am happy to see you. That was quite a little stunt you pulled back there. I gotta say I never saw that coming."

I shook my head. "I don't know what I was thinking. You've yet to chastise me properly. Lunch should be interesting." I spoke with a little humor in my voice. Jacob was good at calling me out on my shit while keeping me relaxed.

La Madeline was less than five minutes from campus so we didn't get too far into our conversation before we were ordering our lunch.

While we waited for our meals we munched on the complimentary bread and home made preserves.

"So...Edward pops your cherry and suddenly you don't know how to behave in the civilized world?" Jacob asked.

I almost choked on a piece of bread. I took a gulp of Orangina before attempting to respond to what he had just said.

"What does my cherry have to do with any of this?"

"You tell me. I mean, maybe this is all too much for you. You come back from the summer with a relationship that involves more than kissing and the occasional third base visit. Hitting that home run the first time can change a person. _You _obviously went a little cuckoo."

"Okay, let me see if I understand what you're saying. You think my relationship with Edward sent me into a sensory overload that caused me to hide behind my schoolwork in order to avoid the feeling of being overwhelmed?"

"Not quite what I said but yes, that's true too. Your relationship with Mike was a house of cards. It meant nothing to you and because up until now it was your only relationship it stands to reason that the real thing leaves you unsure of what to do with yourself. It's like you were snorting cornstarch and somebody gave you actual cocaine," he said smugly, like he had explained the theory of relativity with ease.

By now our food had arrived and I was holding my fork suspended in mid air as I listened to his outrageous comparison that was some how supposed to explain my shifty disposition.

"You're certifiable, Jake. I appreciate your attempt at explaining my lapse in judgement but it's really just an excuse. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ran, sorry I worried you. I'm sorry for it all. Can we start fresh?"

"Like you have to ask. You're my sister for life. Now finish your salad. We have to get back soon."

By the end of lunch I was feeling countless pounds lighter.

~IC~

My afternoon classes went by fairly quickly. We were covering interesting topics that resulted in lively discussion. That always made things more enjoyable.

Instead of having Edward pick me up I was cajoled by Jacob into accompanying him to pick out a pair of shoes, saying that I had great taste. I could only snort at his assertion. I had a feeling that he was up to something especially since after letting Edward know of our plans he was only too happy to acquiesce. Instead of sharing my suspicions with Edward I told him I would have Jacob drop me off at my apartment and I would call him then to make plans.

A few minutes after 4 Jacob and I were on our way to Canal Place. It was a fairly upscale shopping center located just outside of the French Quarter on Canal Street. We spent about an hour walking around before Jacob remembered he was supposed to meet up with Paul at some predetermined location. Again, it sounded fishy but I kept my mouth shut and just went with the flow.

"Thanks for the ride," I said before opening my door.

"Thank _you _for tagging along with me to the mall," he replied.

"Yeah, we sure looked at a lot of shoes," I said sarcastically.

He shrugged but instead of looking smug he looked sheepish.

I exited the car and waved my goodbye as I reached the door to my building.

I found a single pink peony in front of my door. When I picked it up I noticed a note tied to it with a string. Not able to wait until I was inside to read it I sank down to the floor.

_Bella, _

_The peony symbolizes healing. It is my hope that we can continue doing just that. You mean so much to me and I want to show you just how much so please pick yourself up off the hallway floor and come inside. _

_I'm waiting. _

_Edward_

I giggled at how well he knew me. I sniffed the flower as I got up and dug through my bag for my keys.

When I opened the door to my apartment I was shocked to see it lit up by hundreds of little tea light candles. Bouquets of peonies decorated the space and soft music played in the background.

I closed the door behind me and walked about slack jawed as I took in the beautiful sight.

"I thought you'd never come inside." I heard Edward say as he exhaled in relief, I imagined.

"Jacob," I whispered. Explaining to myself that my suspicions were correct.

"Yeah, he was in on it."

He came down the stairs and soon we were face to face.

"Thank you," I breathed.

"You're welcome," he said softly before brushing my lips with his. His hands cupped my face gently and my hands found the back of his head. The kiss sparked our reconnection and in an instant all my shame and apprehension had vanished.

When we finally took a breath I noticed that a new song was beginning to play.

"What's this? I like it," I said.

"The Weepies. I covered this song on Thursday. It proved to be foreshadowing."

"It's a little sad. I still like it. Maybe it could be our song." As I spoke Edward placed one of my hands on the back of his neck and then held me by my waist. Before I knew it we were dancing, gently swaying from side to side along with the music.

"Why would you want it to be our song?" he asked perplexed.

"To remind us. To remind me not take it for granted." There was another reason, the song spoke of love, something neither of us had declared but I knew deep in my heart we both felt. I could feel the words on the tip of my tongue but I was still afraid to say them. After our recent ordeal, the last I wanted to do was scare him away. But the temptation to confess my love for Edward was far greater than my fears of how it would be received.

I rested my head on his chest as we continued to move. I needed to say it, being afraid is what almost cost me my relationship. Putting myself out there was a risk to be sure but this was Edward and he'd never let me fall.

I looked up at him, his eyes met mine. They twinkled, catching the light of the candles that peppered the living room.

"I love you, Edward."

His breath hitched. We stopped moving.

"I love you. Bella. God, I love you. I've wanted to say it for a long while now. You are everything to me. Please don't run away from me again," he said breathlessly. He grabbed me and lifted me up wrapping my legs around him. I yelped but held on tight as he cupped my bottom and made for the stairs.

Our lips never separated as we kissed all the way up the stairs.

When we reached my room I saw that the candles extended into this room as well.

"Why, Edward. You sure had plans for tonight, huh? Thoroughly presumptuous are we?" I giggled.

"I always have plans," he murmured.

He lowered me onto the bed and stood before me as he removed his clothes. Not wanting to be left behind I mirrored his endeavors.

Once our clothes had been shed he crawled atop me and began the delicious torture of kissing every inch of my body. He started with my nose, lips, neck, clavicle and moved down lower until I was squirming and writhing beneath him.

"Edward, please. You're killing me."

"Shh." He silenced me. "I'm showing the woman I love how much I adore her."

"Well the woman you love would like a different demonstration of your affections."

"Well in that case," he growled.

He was hovering over me in a flash and before I could protest any more he was deep inside me.

The room was electric, occasionally coming alive with the sounds of moans and groans. There was kissing, sucking, licking and biting. It was a sensory overload and I could barely keep up with what was going on. I was delirious with pleasure. Edward was everywhere at once. I didn't think he had ever been as passionate as he was being in that moment.

It was a perfect storm and cosmic event for we reached our climaxes simultaneously. I silently gasped through mine but Edward was more vocal. Shouting out a loud 'I love you' before slumping over me in a breathless, sweaty heap. I loved feeling his weight on top of me. There was something comforting about it.

"I fucking love you," he declared again, causing me to glow with pride. He rolled off me and pulled me towards him, tucking me into his side as he kissed my hair.

"I fucking love you too," I said, making Edward chuckle as I imitated him. My smile was so wide my face hurt.

~IC~

After resting for a hefty amount of time we decided we should shower together to clean up the messy result of our erotically ardent lovemaking. After which we redressed. Edward had informed me he would be cooking us dinner so I donned a pair of yoga pants and a Loyola Wolfpack t-shirt which I may or may not have stolen from Edward.

I fed Nessie her dinner while Edward put a pot of water on to boil.

"What are you making us, Chef Cullen?"

"Pasta alla carbonara." Said in what I assumed was Edward's best attempt at an Italian accent. It earned him further giggling from me.

"Yum! I'm starving."

"It won't take long, here cut up this pancetta into small pieces please."

"I always wanted to be a sous to your chef," I teased.

He walked up behind me, his hand drifting below the waistband of my pants before whispering, "You've already been under me once today. Forgive me for wanting a repeat performance."

I gasped, "Naughty, and a little dirty. I like it!"

The rest of the time preparing dinner was spent in pretty much the same fashion. We laughed, we teased, we kissed and we sipped on wine.

"This is delicious, Edward. Thank you so much," I said in between bites.

"You're welcome. I couldn't have done it without the help of a pretty little underling." He winked at me.

"You're lucky I helped you at all. I thought you were supposed to be cooking me dinner. I wasn't prepared for the manual labor you subjected me to," I said petulantly.

He raised his wine glass and arched an eyebrow wordlessly communicating to me that I was to do the same. I complied, smiling as I did so.

He cleared his throat. He seemed to have a penchant for the dramatic I thought.

"A toast. To my lovely girlfriend, who has taught me that love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. To a mask-less existence.*"

"Hear, hear!" I exclaimed before clinking my glass with his.

"Happy Birthday, love."

"Thank you. Tonight has been perfect Edward."

"I've a gift for you," he said, standing up from the table and going back into the kitchen. He presented me with two small boxes.

One of the boxes was the tell tale Tiffany blue wrapped with a white ribbon. The second was a darker blue, 'Mf.' was embossed in silver on the lid.

"Tiffany and Mignon Faget? This is too much, baby."

"It's not and once you open them I'll explain why I picked out what I did."

I untied the white ribbon and opened up the Tiffany box. Inside was a suede pouch. I pulled it open and dropped the contents into my open hand.

"An airplane charm," I said, my voice barely audible.

"It's where I fell for you the first time."

"I love it, Edward. It's beautiful."

"I figured you can wear it on your necklace, along with your heart pendant."

"It will be very fitting. The two men in my life will be close to my heart always."

I removed my necklace and threaded the little airplane onto it. It rested next to the heart charm that my dad had given me. The heart had the words 'I love you' inscribed repeatedly. Interestingly it was from Tiffany as well.

I turned my attention to the other box. Inside I found a bracelet with a heart charm dangling from it. The charm had a fleur de lis on one side. When I turned it over I saw that it was engraved.

"Where my heart resides," Edward said out loud.

He gently took it from me and proceeded to wrap it around my wrist and fasten the clasp.

"Because it does," he whispered.

He brought his forehead to rest against mine. "I love you. It feels so good to say it."

"Doesn't it? I love you too. Thank you for my presents. I couldn't ask for more. I love you so much."

A few kisses and a shared slice of chocolate later we were busy cleaning up our mess from dinner. We worked quickly, eager to be done with the cleaning so we could walk Nessie. She was nudging me with her nose as if to push me to work faster.

"Somebody needs to go for a walk, badly."

"We're almost done, girl," Edward cooed to her. That only served to egg her on and she started to pace wildly and wag her tail at him.

When we were finally done I slipped on some sandals while Edward fastened her leash. She all but dragged him to the door.

~IC~

EPOV

A few weeks after Bella's birthday dinner found me preparing to play at the Howling Wolf again. I had been playing gigs at various open mic nights in different bars around the city. I had also volunteered to run a few seminars for inner city children through Big Brothers Big Sisters of Louisiana. In my spare time I studied for the LSAT.

I had never really considered going into law and medicine held little interest to me. My dad had hoped that one of his kids would follow in his footsteps but it turned out that none of us had the aptitude for medicine. I knew that my music degree would never allow me to do much beyond teach and even that was iffy. My goal was to take the LSAT and apply to a law school that was close to wherever Bella decided to settle.

If she was accepted into the study abroad program we would be moving to Botswana mid January and would likely stay there for part of the summer. We both wanted to do a bit of travelling and Victoria Falls was on the agenda. Of course, a trip to Zimbabwe would have to wait until she was done with school.

I planned to run music clinics in the nearby rural areas. I had already made some contacts through LoveLife in South Africa. The director put me in touch with an AIDS organization in Botswana. I decided to try a different method in their outreach program and suggested adding music education to their curriculum. They were excited about my idea and I had already arranged for various instruments to be purchased on my behalf.

I was worried that I may have jumped the gun a little but there was no doubt in my mind that Bella would be accepted into the program. The sociology department had an AIDS project that I knew she would be perfect for.

A knock on the door alerted me to Bella's arrival. She had a study group that night and we had agreed she would come over for dinner afterwards.

I opened the door to find her bundled up in a heavy coat, scarf and gloves. It was hysterical. She hated the cold.

"God, it's freezing. We're in New Orleans not North Dakota."

"It's 54 degrees, love. You're acting as if it's below freezing,"I said while helping her out of her coat.

"Yes, well, I'm cold, and that's what counts."

"It's a good thing I made gumbo."

"Mmm, chicken and sausage right?"

"Right you are." I gave her a quick kiss on the lips before taking her hand in mine and leading her towards the kitchen.

"How was your day?" She asked.

"Pretty good, I rehearsed my set for tomorrow and I studied for a few hours."

"How is that coming along?"

"Eh, I'm not sure. I'll have a better idea once I take one of the practice tests."

I pulled a couple of bowls from one of the cabinets and handed them to her. She set them down on the counter and pulled a ladle from a ceramic container. She lifted the lid of the heavy cast iron pot and took in the smell.

"This smells so good. I already feel warm inside."

I chuckled, "You're easy to please."

"Hey, good gumbo is an art and I've been in New Orleans long enough to appreciate good gumbo. I'm also a certified critic of jambalaya and red beans and rice."

"Does that mean you're not a good cook of the aforementioned dishes?"

She laughed heartily. I loved the sound of her laugh. She gave the gumbo a little stir with the ladle before spooning it into the waiting bowls. I pulled some fresh rolls from the pantry and set them on the counter along with some butter.

After dinner we each read for a little bit before going to bed. If it wasn't for the fact that we would be living together in just a few short months while in Botswana I would have asked her to either move in with me or allow me to move into her apartment. Things could get a little weird with Jake there but that was a chance I would be willing to take.

~IC~

"What are the plans for the holidays?" Bella asked.

"I don't know. What do you usually do?"

"Nothing, my dad doesn't come home for Thanksgiving. Christmas is up in the air this year. You?"

"I've gone home for Thanksgiving before but I am not sure what I'm doing this year. Did you want to go over to my parents'?"

"Thanksgiving is only just over a week away. If we were to buy tickets now they would cost a fortune. I think we should celebrate here and go over there for Christmas. We'll be able to stay longer so the trip will be worthwhile."

"That sounds good to me. Alice will be disappointed so prepare to hear from her."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So I'll get a turkey and invite Ben and Angela to join us next Thursday? I already know they're staying in town since they're trying to save up for their wedding. Jacob and Paul are staying too. It will be the six of us."

She sounded so excited that I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't quite share her enthusiasm. Thanksgiving marked the beginning of the holiday season for her. I was a strictly Christmas kinda guy. There was nothing better than the sounds and smells of Christmas morning. I couldn't wait for our first official Christmas together. I vowed I'd make it an extra special one for Bella.

The next day Bella got a letter informing her of her acceptance into the study abroad program. She was over the moon and was even more excited to learn that I already had something lined up over there. We celebrated by going to Port of Call for burgers and monsoons.

School was out the week of Thanksgiving so I moved into Bella's for the duration of the break. I actually packed a suitcase. On the first night of my stay at the Swan Suites, Bella and I had what could only be described as an assault on our delicate sensitivities.

We had just gone to bed and were getting a little frisky when I heard noises coming from Jacob's room. The rat bastard was getting it on with Paul and had apparently forgotten there were other people in the house. Perhaps he just didn't care. In any event Bella and I laughed hysterically and remained dressed. We were much too disturbed to actually have sex.

Thanksgiving proved to be a joyous affair. Bella and I took care of the turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing. Jacob and Paul insisted on making a classic green bean casserole along with candied yams. They also brought rolls and wine. Angela and Ben contributed home made cranberry sauce and a pecan pie that was possibly the best I had ever eaten.

Bella had also baked pumpkin and apple pies. All were delicious. The food coma that followed, not so much.

We had all managed to eat and drink way too much. Bella insisted that Angela and Ben spend the night instead of driving home out to Metarie. She had a huge air bed that we placed in the living room. As we waited for the bed to inflate Bella and Angela made plans to go shopping the next day.

Black Friday was an absolute nightmare and I was thankful that Ben and I were not included in their plans beyond acting as chauffeurs. The plan was to drop them off and pick them up at various shopping locations. That would save them time since they wouldn't be fighting for parking spaces. This also meant that they wouldn't have to wander around parking lots which tended to become dangerous during the holiday season.

We we all up early except for Jacob and Paul who wanted nothing to do with the shopping hoopla. I envied them as we all piled into the car at the ungodly hour of 5am, or as Bella referred to it 'dark-thirty'.

"Ugh it's way too early to be up. This was a huge mistake," Bella complained.

"Oh, hush. This was your idea," Angela replied.

"I know! It's so inhumane. Why are we doing this again?" Bella's whining was tickling my funny bone and I couldn't help but snicker.

"Like I said, your idea. Thanks for the change of clothes by the way." Angela was jovial even without caffeine. Ben was a lucky man.

"Bella, remember last year when we bumped into you on Black Friday at the Esplanade? You had locked your keys in your car. Those were good times," Ben laughed.

"Thanks for bringing up a painful memory," Bella retorted. She turned around in her seat and gave Ben a playful whack on his leg.

"Are we up for coffee?" I asked. "I know grumpy pants next to me needs it so if it's all the same to you guys I'm going to stop at PJ's."

Once we had all agreed on coffee I decided to inquire as to Bella's little adventure at the Esplanade Mall.

"So tell me about being locked out of your car. How did you manage that?"

"Well I was hungover from the night before. Jacob had plied me with enough alcohol to knock out a large elephant. He tried to stop me from leaving but I was still pretty much inebriated and wouldn't listen. By the time I got to the mall I had a splitting headache but I plowed through. In the end it cost me $75 to get back in my car. Angela and Ben were nice enough to wait with me."

"I can't believe you're blaming Jacob for how much you drank," Ben teased.

"Yeah, from your account you were already pretty annihilated by the time he arrived at your apartment," Angela offered.

"Hmm, the details are fuzzy but it's easier to blame Jake." Bella started laughing animatedly, seeming to recall details that rest of us weren't privy to.

While the girls shopped Ben and I drove around, grabbed some food and talked. He was a really nice guy and I hoped we would be able to hang out from time to time. The girls called us at 4, too tired to continue shopping.

When we got home Bella heated up some left overs and practically broke down Jake's door and demanded that he and Paul help with eating the large amount of food she was trying to rid herself of. The came down with their sheets still stuck to their faces grumbling about Bella being a dictator.

"Don't you give me any shit, Jake," Bella said pointing a spoon coated in mashed potatoes at him.

"Yes, mom," Jacob said while batting his eyelashes at her.

"That's better," she chirped.

We all giggled at their display.

After another satisfying meal we all helped clean up before Angela and Ben bid us farewell. We were all exhausted and were in bed before 9 that night.

~IC~

"I really dislike traveling during Christmas. There are too many people about," I said, taking my seat next to Bella after stowing away my bag in the overhead compartment.

She was leafing through a magazine looking as relaxed as I wished I felt. "It's not so bad. At least we weren't bumped off the flight."

"You are just a ray of sunshine, love." I mussed her hair before laying a kiss on her temple.

She shook her head and smiled but did not look up from her magazine.

"What is Charlie up to?"

She closed her magazine but kept a finger in between the pages she had been looking at. "I'm not sure. I think he's dating somebody. He won't tell me but I have a feeling. He's going to Spain. Said he has some assignment there. Sounds like a lie to me but whatever. Let him have his fun."

"Has he ever dated anyone?"

"He's always been very private so I can't say for certain. I hate to think of him living a lonely existence. It seems unnatural for a person to spend so much time alone. He deserves to be happy, to find someone to make him happy." The sadness in her eyes prompted me to lighten the mood.

"Did you leave Jacob's present for him?"

"Ha! I sure did," she said enthusiastically.

"I wonder if he'll be able to hold off until Christmas to open it."

"He will. I left it with Paul and he knows better than to cross me."

"I don't doubt that."

I slept through most of the flight and didn't wake up until Bella nudged me and told me that we were making our decent into Seattle. I felt stiff and couldn't wait to get out of my seat and stretch out.

Once we made it past the herds of people wondering about the terminal we stopped near the restrooms. Each of us took a turn while the other remained with our bags. Alice was impatient through out the entire process and insisted on texting both of us at different intervals.

Our reunion with Alice involved a lot of jumping up and down and hugging. The squealing almost burst my ear drums but fortunately it only lasted mere seconds. Surprisingly the source of the enthusiasm was Bella and not my typically hyper sister, Alice.

I was still really tired even after the few hours sleep I got on the flight so I let the girls ride up front so I could sprawl out in the back seat. I quietly sent a message to my parents letting them know we were on our way home. I also enquired about the pick up they had made for me earlier that day. Once I was satisfied that my plans were well on their way I lay back and rested my heavy eyes.

"We're home you bear!" Alice was loud enough to wake the dead.

For her part, Bella simply threw her head back and laughed.

"Bear?" I asked.

Alice made a face, "You're hibernating. Bella told me that you slept through most of the flight too."

"Oh leave him alone, Alice. Poor baby is exhausted." Bella blew a kiss at me from the front seat. She removed her seat belt and proceeded to open her door.

I quickly got out of the car and unloaded our bags. I made it to the door just as Bella walked through and let out a high pitched, throaty scream.

I could only smile.

~IC~

I was looking forward to taking a nap on Edward's bed. For some reason, even though I was tired, I was unable to get any sleep on the plane. I attributed it to feeling too on edge. I read instead and managed to catch up on some of the reading I had meant to do during the semester but didn't have the time for.

Alice and I walked on ahead while Edward followed with our bags. I stalled a little once I got to the door not wanting to leave Edward behind.

"Come on!" Alice called out to me, peeking her head out.

Edward was almost behind me so I went on through.

I screamed.

"Dad!" I ran into his waiting arms. Tears were already streaming down my face.

"Bells," he said softly. He placed a kiss on my forehead and hugged me to him. It was the best feeling in the world.

We stood in the entryway for a long while. I wasn't really aware of our audience until Edward whispered in my ear, "Merry Christmas, love."

I let got of my dad and turned to face Edward. I noticed Alice and Esme wiping their eyes. It touched me that my happiness evoked such emotion in them.

"You did this for me? How?"

"Your dad called while you were in the shower one day. I answered your phone. We've been e-mailing ever since."

"Thank you," I said as I wrapped my arms around him.

I heard my dad clear his throat and I rolled my eyes. Some things never changed.

"Dad, this is Edward. Edward, this is my dad, Charlie." I motioned between them. "This is Alice, Edward's sister."

"It's good to meet you Mr. Swan." Alice offered him her hand.

"That leaves Esme," my dad said.

"You know each other?" I asked.

"Of course, Bells. She and Carlisle picked me up from the airport. Before that though we had spoken on the phone," he answered nonchalantly.

My mind was spinning, partly from exhaustion and partly from the adrenaline rush of seeing my dad unexpectedly.

"Mr. Swan, it's good to finally meet you in person," Edward said as we all filed through to the sitting room.

"Likewise, son. Thank you for arranging all this. When Bella told me she started dating that boy who rescued her from her lack of common sense I was skeptical. You'll do, young man." My dad gave Edward several firm pats on his back.

"I think I need to lie down," I announced. I was feeling elated but overwhelmed.

"Go rest, Isabella. I'm due to take Edward's brother to the range."

I nodded thinking that it was strange that my dad was already part of the family. Even more bizarre was him calling me by my full name. He hardly ever did that as he knew how much it bothered me.

Edward took my hand and led me up to his room. I was feeling stunned and I could feel everything hitting me at once. I didn't notice when we arrived at his room or when he pulled me to his lap once he was sitting on the bed.

"I've got you," he said into my ear.

I broke down into tears as he rocked me in his arms. I was happy. I never allowed myself to think about how much I missed my family, but seeing my dad brought it all to the forefront.

"Thank you, Edward. You've no idea how much it means to me to have my dad here. How long is he staying?"

"Until the twenty-seventh."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Bella. I was so worried you would be upset about me going behind your back on this."

"Never. This is the most beautiful thing anyone has _ever _done for me. It's everything. It's the best gift you could have given me this Christmas."

I sat in his lap relishing the closeness and comfort that his presence brought me. My worlds were coming together and I was glad for it. A small part of me wondered how it came to pass that my dad was taking Emmett to the range. I couldn't help but giggle.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking about Charlie and Emmett at the range. How did that happen?"

"I, too, would love to know the answer to that question, love."

After a nap I was refreshed. We rejoined the rest of the family downstairs for dinner. I sat next to my dad and I couldn't help but stare at him. I was still shocked that he was there.

It turned out that since Edward started to plan my dad's visit the Cullens had been very much involved. They had exchanged information with my dad and had started to get to know each other. It was almost as if the Cullens were wooing my dad.

This is how Emmett came to find out that my dad had been a police officer and subsequently had requested shooting lessons. My dad had been only too happy to oblige.

When it was time for bed a feeling of unease settled in the pit of my stomach. Sleeping arrangements could be a problem now that Charlie was here.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, seeing the look of concern and embarrassment plain on my face.

"I don't know where I'm supposed to sleep."

"With me of course."

"But what about my dad?"

"Your dad is aware that you're not a little girl anymore," Charlie said behind me.

"Dad, I..."

"Bells, it's okay. I know how it is. Now, Edward. You knock up my daughter and I will shoot you." Charlie gave Edward an intense stare. I heard Edward gulp. "You have a good night, kids."

With that he retired for the night. His words lingered in the air and ensured that Edward and I remained chaste that night.

~IC~

**End notes:**

* _Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within._ This quote is attributed to American essayist James Arthur Baldwin.

**I'd love to hear from you. Leave me a review!**

**Until next time, **

**Abby**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**a/n:**

**Short chapter this time around. Thank you for reading!**

**My beta is EMILY93. She's amazing. She's going to hold my hand through the next chapter ;)**

**The inter webs are abuzz with the Breaking Dawn trailer. Has anybody seen it? I haven't had the inclination to peek yet. **

**~IC~**

EPOV

The days before Christmas were a blur, everybody was having such a good time it was hard to believe that Bella and Charlie had just come into our lives.

Charlie was unlike anything I had expected. He gave off a stern vibe but was actually pretty laid back when it came down to it. He and Bella had a strong relationship and it was obvious that Charlie still thought of her as his little girl. It was heartwarming to see them together.

"I have to wrap presents," Bella said quietly to Alice.

"Let's go up to my room. We'll be safe from prying eyes." She looked directly over at me as the words left her mouth.

"What is that look supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Alice has told me all about your snooping, Edward," Bella said by way of explanation.

"I haven't done that in years," I protested.

"Whatever, Edward. Rosalie totally busted you last Christmas and if she were here she'd confirm that."

Bella giggled as she and Alice made their way up the stairs.

I was left alone in the family room. Emmett had absconded with Charlie. I had declined to join them but was regretting my decision. I was dating his daughter and had spent hardly any time with him. I definitely wanted to speak with Charlie, especially since I would be living with his daughter soon.

There was also something else I wanted to discuss, something that I couldn't wait to do.

"Honey," my mom said. I looked up to see her standing right in front of me.

"Yes, mom."

"I've been calling your name for the past five minutes. Where were you? I can see you've something on your mind," she said as she took a seat next to me.

She brushed my unruly hair away from my face.

"You need a haircut, sweetheart. I'll make you an appointment after Christmas. Now, tell me what's on your mind."

I looked around to make sure we were alone. In the distance I could hear Alice and Bella busy with their wrapping.

"It's nothing, I just want to talk to Charlie and it occurred to me I really haven't had any one on one time with him. I won't have many opportunities to see him in person and there's something I need to run by him."

My mom gave me a knowing smile and gave me a pat on my knee.

"Are you thinking about marriage?"

I felt heat rush to my cheeks, knowing I had blushed at my mom's question. "Yes, I mean not right now but maybe once she graduates? I know she's the one and I can't wait for her to be my wife. Is that strange? We haven't been dating long. I feel like a walking cliché"

"Edward, my sweet boy. You've always known what you wanted for your life. You are very in tune with your heart and emotions. With the traditional things at least. Bella is a lovely young woman, she's a fine addition to the family. You're both young, but you're both wise beyond your years. Your time in Botswana will show you what you need to know. Living together is a big step."

"I know. I've been thinking about that. I've no doubt we'll be perfectly fine. Honestly, I'm excited to play house with her."

My mom wiped her hands on her apron before making to get up from the couch. "You just be careful, Edward," she cautioned. I knew exactly what my mom was getting at.

"I always am. Besides, I don't even know how she feels about having kids."

"You've some talking to do then. Come talk to me in the kitchen, I've pie crusts to make."

"I'll be there in a few. I've got some wrapping of my own to do," I called out to her as she disappeared into the kitchen.

I quickly ran up to my room pausing briefly in front of Alice's door to make sure they were still busy.

Once in my room I opened up my suitcase and dug around for Bella's presents. I put them in a gift bag and arranged tissue paper as best I could before sitting at my desk to write in her card. I felt bad not wrapping her gifts but one of them didn't lend itself to being wrapped.

After taking a few moments to write something meaningful but not too sappy I rejoined my mom in the kitchen. She indulged my inner romantic and listened quietly while working in the kitchen. Not wanting to be useless I helped by peeling some potatoes and chopping up vegetables while we talked. The next day's feast promised to be delicious.

That evening after dinner the opportunity presented itself for me to talk to Charlie alone. We'd had a light dinner and my mom began to clean up, not before politely asking Bella for her assistance, to which Bella more than willingly accepted. I silently thanked my mother, it didn't go unknown to me that she had gone out of her way to allow me an opportunity for some alone time with Charlie. Alice had gone to Jasper's for the night while my father had a brutal double shift at the hospital. He would be home at some point in the night. It was the only way he'd be able to spend Christmas day with us.

"Charlie, has Emmett showed you our gun collection? It belonged to our grandfather."

"He did mention it but hadn't gotten around to showing it to me."

"Follow me." As we walked towards the study I wondered how wise it was to talk to Charlie about possibly marrying his daughter whilst in a room full of guns. A cold shiver ran through me as we entered the room.

We spent some time studying the displays and discussing the historical significance of some of the weapons.

"You have something on your mind, Edward," Charlie said out of the blue.

"I do, sir. I wanted the opportunity to speak with you privately."

He nodded. "Well here we are, son. Don't be shy."

"I've no idea how to do this and I'm nervous so I'm bound to make an ass out of myself. I apologize in advance." I could feel myself break out into a nervous sweat. "I care very deeply about Bella. I love her and I, well, I want to marry her. Someday. In the future," I added hastily.

I paused for a moment trying to read Charlie's face. It gave nothing away. He didn't look pissed or excited in any way. I decided to continue, but whether I was only digging myself in deeper or further impressing him I could not tell.

"With us living together for the next several months I figured I'd give you the chance to properly grill me. I'd also really like your blessing. Bella is everything to me. It didn't take me long to figure that out. I'd like to make it official once she graduates but I'd like to present her with a ring before then."

"I really appreciate this, Edward. My daughter may not agree that asking for my blessing was necessary, and in a way she is right. Who she chooses to spend her time with is her business. As a father I worry. I want to know she's being treated right. I don't want my daughter in an abusive relationship. I want her happy, fulfilled, and loved. You seem to do just that. You take care of my girl, and always remember that if you and her get careless and create something...you know. Well, I _will_ shoot you. I won't shoot her because she'll be in a delicate state. I won't kill you, I'll just maim you."

I nodded trying not to smile. Charlie was a funny man.

"After you two have lived together I'll be interested to see if your desire to marry her still stands. She can be a piece of work," Charlie chuckled.

We then fell into a less heavy conversation and continued talking until Bella came looking for us.

"Did Charlie make you go in there to interrogate you?" Bella asked as she changed into her pajamas.

"No," I said as I pulled my shirt over my head. I got under the sheets while Bella finished putting on her clothes.

"Really? I would have never guessed. What did you talk about?" She was now beside me snuggling up close.

"I wanted to give him the chance to ask me anything."

"Did he?"

"You really want to know what was said, don't you? I'm not giving you details but it was good. You're still allowed to date me."

"Thank goodness for that."

I pulled her close to me and kissed her hair. "It's past midnight. Merry Christmas sweetheart, you're the first person I wanted to tell. I love you, Bella."

"I love you too. Merry Christmas, Edward."

Sleep came easy that night.

~IC~

"It's Christmas morning! Wake up!" Bella's chirpy voice was the first thing I heard that morning. She shook me awake. With my eyes still closed I smiled.

"I'm so sleepy. I could sleep for another hour or two."

"No whining. Come on. We have a huge breakfast planned and then dinner tonight. I can already taste the pancakes."

Her excitement was enough to rouse me out of bed. I groggily made my way to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. When I emerged Bella was already out the door.

"Merry Christmas, Eddie!" Alice said excitedly after jumping into my arms and almost knocking me over.

"Merry Christmas, Alice. You know better than to call me that."

"It's Christmas. You're not allowed to chastise me for that. I love you cranky pants."

"I love you too."

"No name calling?" she frowned.

"I'm not awake yet."

When we made it to the kitchen Bella was already cutting into a stack of pancakes.

"Esme, these are delicious. Thank you so much for having me and my dad here."

"Oh thank you, dear. I'm glad you like them. We are thrilled to have you and Charlie over. The house is full and I love it. We haven't had a Christmas like this in years," Esme responded.

"Merry Christmas everybody," Alice crooned as she took a seat besides Bella.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked.

"Your father didn't make it home until a couple of hours ago so he will likely not join us until after lunch. We'll do presents once he's up or we can wait until after dinner. Charlie was up earlier and went back to bed after I overfed him," Esme said smiling.

"I'll have pancakes and scrambled eggs please," Alice stated.

"I'll get that," I said.

"Get what?"

"Alice, we aren't in a restaurant. Give mom a break."

"Oops, sorry mom. I can fix my own plate."

"No, sis. it's okay. Let me get it for you okay?"

"You're so sweet Edward," Bella teased.

"Mom, why don't you sit and eat. We can finish up in here. You should go rest with dad."

"That's very kind of you, Edward. Thank you. I ate earlier so I'll go upstairs for bit. You kids enjoy breakfast. Oh, and tell your brother we'll be having dinner at six sharp. Merry Christmas again, darlings."

By nine thirty we had cleared the table and washed up. Bella and Alice made it fun. They hooked up an iPod to the dock and rocked out to Christmas music while prancing about the kitchen. For my part I dried the dishes and put them away while looking at them in utter delight. I felt happy and warm. It was the familiar feeling of being at home surrounded by the ones you love.

At around noon my parents emerged along with Charlie.

"Merry Christmas, dad."

"Merry Christmas, son. It's good to have you home." He pulled me into a hug and noticing Alice standing near by pulled her in as well.

"I am so proud of the both of you. I love you guys very much. It's good to have a full house for Christmas," he said.

"Daddy, you're getting all mushy." She giggled. "I love you too," Alice grinned.

"Alright, alright. Charlie, Bella. Merry Christmas. Let's see about some light refreshment shall we?"

Charlie and Bella returned my father's sentiments before we all made our way into the kitchen. My mom had set out all the fix-ins for sandwiches along with an assortment of fresh breads. The turkey was already in the oven and several burners were already responsible for the bubbling and sizzling sounds that filled the kitchen.

"What's the deal with Emmett?" Bella asked once we were back in my room getting ready for dinner.

"What do you mean?"

"Edward, come on. You said he's your brother but he's never here and your parents don't seem to miss him."

"You picked up on that, huh?"

"You don't have to tell me. I was just curious."

"It's complicated. When my parents first got married they were under the impression that they wouldn't be able to have children of their own. They adopted Emmett. A few years later they had me and a few years after that, Alice. There was a huge fall out when Emmett found out about his true origins. Things have gotten better but we all give him his space. He's my brother and I love him, but it's hard. He was a rowdy teenager and got into a lot of trouble."

"I'm sorry I brought it up," Bella said quietly.

"It's family history. I want you to know everything about me. Thank you for asking."

"Thank you for sharing."

~IC~

"Dinner was amazing, Esme. Thank you for having me," Rosalie said with a contented sigh.

"You're welcome, dear. You hardly have to thank me. You're part of the family. I'm glad you were able to join us," my mother responded.

"I couldn't leave my Rosie behind," Emmet said sweetly kissing Rosalie's forehead as he did so.

"Let me help you bring out dessert Mrs. Cullen," Jasper said excitedly as Alice rolled her eyes.

"He just loves pie," she said.

Bella and Charlie laughed aloud. She and Jasper were two of the funniest people when they were together. Jasper was an honorary resident of our home. My mom had made up one of the guestrooms for him. For all my parents' liberal tendencies they still liked to pretend that Alice slept alone at night. I knew for a fact this wasn't the case.

We exchanged presents over coffee. I got the usual from my family, sweaters, gift cards and an assortment of clothes.

Charlie gave Bella considerable spending money for her move to Botswana as well as a very nice digital camera.

I was excited to give Bella her gifts but she interrupted me with her own gifts for me.

"I hope you like these," she said shyly.

I was surprised by the Tiffany blue box she handed me. I didn't waste any time opening it. Inside was a keyring with an airplane attached to one end.

"I figured we could each have an airplane of our own," she explained.

"I love it. Thank you," I whispered. I was feeling rather self conscious as my family was staring intently at us both.

"This key that's on it. Is it...?"

"Yes. It's a key to my apartment. I'd like for you to move in once we return from Botswana, or at the very least use your key to let yourself in rather than waiting for me or Jake to answer the door."

My mouth was dry and I felt like I couldn't quite breathe. Bella had given me the best Christmas present I could have ever dream of. As I extricated the keyring from its box I was too dumbfounded to talk. I do recall Bella assuring me that she had already ran it by Jacob and Charlie and that both men didn't have a problem with me moving in.

She also gave me a new strap for my guitar. It was black with my initials embroidered on the front. I really liked the black on black and thought it might make me look like a bit of a bad ass. An idea that drew laughter from my captive audience.

When it was finally my turn to give Bella her gifts I felt inadequate. My gifts to her paled in comparison to the grand gesture of giving me a key to her apartment and asking me to move in.

Bella loved the leather satchel and matching leather bound journal. They each had her initials imprinted onto them.

"Thank you, Edward. I'm absolutely thrilled with the satchel and journal. I've been meaning to get one of each to replace the ones I have. I love you so much." She unabashedly wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in for a kiss.

It was the best Christmas kiss of my life. It was the best Christmas of my life.

~IC~

BPOV

We arrived at Sir Seretse Khama International airport after more than twenty-four hours of travel. We were both exhausted and feeling less than fresh. I for one couldn't wait for a shower.

After clearing immigration and customs we headed to the car rental desk. There was an issue with our reservation and so the process took longer than it should have. Coupled with my exhaustion I was ready to kill someone.

Edward still had his wits about him, so I let him finish up with the agent while I seethed silently.

"Come on," he said to me as he grabbed our bags and headed towards the exit.

I briskly followed. I put on my sweater as we exited the building. This proved to be a mistake for it was extremely hot. I immediately removed the garment.

Edward eyed me suspiciously. "I know you know better than to think it would be cold out here."

"I'm sleep deprived and I didn't want to carry this thing. I thought it would be easier to wear it."

He extended his hand and I handed my sweater to him. He swung his backpack off one shoulder and pulled it towards his front. I watched him unzip the bag and shove my sweater inside. His eyes never left mine as he did so.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much," I stated.

The airport was about fifteen kilometers from the capital city of Gaborone. It was a nice stretch of road, straight and flat. Edward joked that he would love to race a car at top speed along this road. That earned him a glare from me.

I looked through my important documents and found the directions to the house we would be staying in. The University of Botswana had been helpful in arranging our accommodations. Their Office of International Education and Partnerships had offered me housing on campus but I wouldn't be able to live with Edward. When I explained he would be coming along they not only agreed to help us find a house but they also insisted that he visit their Center for the Study of HIV & AIDS.

During our brief search for housing we encountered many interesting properties. Some of them looked like rudimentary shacks. The pictures were awful, depicting decrepit bathrooms and filthy, dilapidated walls. It always amazed me to see how people in other countries lived. Their standards were awfully different from our own.

After navigating the different areas where we could live we settled on a small house in an area called Broadhurst. It was close to shops, restaurants, and the only private hospital in the city making it a very convenient and lucky find. Edward's parents had insisted we live near the hospital. Their sense of doom was greater than our own. Edward and I laughed about this but agreed that being central to everything we could ever need would benefit us in the long run.

During our drive into Gaborone we saw a few rondavels near the cattle-posts that lined the road. The reddish sand went on for miles interrupted by random patches of parched grass and acacia trees.

"There is nothing quite like a mud hut," Edward mused.

"Have you ever been inside one?"

"Not in Botswana."

"It always amazes me to think that they are constructed out of mud and cow dung. My dad jokes that with all the shit being flung back at home every citizen should be able to construct their own rondavel."

Edward laughed. "You like that word?"

"What word?" I enquired.

"Rondavel."

"It's what I was taught."

I proved to be a terrific copilot, unfortunately Edward wasn't a very good driver and missed several turns. This caused us to have to backtrack and rework our way to our destination.

When we finally arrived an hour later than first anticipated, I found the envelope with the keys to our new home for the foreseeable future. The real estate agent had managed to close the deal and send us our keys via DHL a few days before we were due to arrive. The entire process made me feel important.

The house had three bedrooms and two and a half baths. The kitchen was a good size and looked like it had recently been updated. It had come fully furnished and the owners had very graciously left us some new linens to use until we could buy our own.

"This place is great. What do you think, Bella?"

"I like it. I'm glad that one of the bedrooms was turned into an office. We'll certainly use that."

"I'm going to get our bags. Think about what you want for dinner. I can't wait to eat and go to bed."

"Don't think it escaped my notice that you said bed and not sleep."

"Good, that means I won't have to explain myself later." He grinned down at me.

"Edward Cullen, I am tired and cranky. I will not have you pawing at me tonight. Has your libido not been affected at all by our traveling?" I was incredulous and a tad amused.

"Evidently not." He winked at me before turning and walking in the opposite direction.

I huffed and set about exploring the kitchen. The realtor had told me it came fully stocked but I knew that her standards could differ from my own. I opened every cabinet and drawer. I found that we had everything I would ever need to cook our meals. This pleased me greatly.

I made a mental note to pick up a mixer of some sort for my baking. Other than that one item I felt that the kitchen was perfectly equipped.

The fridge was completely empty, naturally. I retrieved my journal from my bag and began to write a few words about our arrival.

I was in the middle of deciding whether to go to Pick and Pay or Spar for our groceries when I felt Edward's arms encircle me. I smiled as I felt his strong arms hold me close to him.

"Have you thought about where we should go for dinner?" he whispered into my ear. His breath tickled me as he spoke.

I giggled. Edward was trying to seduce me.

"How does Nando's sound?"

"The chicken joint?"

"Mhm, I have a hankering for their fries. I can't wait to pour salt and vinegar all over them."

"Nando's it is then."

I grabbed some Pulas out of my satchel and put them in my pocket. It felt strange not having a phone to carry. Being in another country always reminded me of my reliance on my phone. I was always on it. I read, I listened to music, I emailed, I did everything. I could run my life from my phone. That would not be the case while I was in Botswana. I would be limited to calls and texts.

"Hurry up, love," Edward called out to me from the door.

"Coming!" I yelled back.

"Oh you will be," he said huskily under his breath.

I didn't think he had meant for me to hear that, nor did I think he had noticed that I had indeed heard him. I could only laugh at his antics as I shook my head in disbelief. He was a glutton for punishment.

Once we were on our way we realized that neither of us knew where the nearest Nando's even was.

"Let's pull into a petrol station," I instructed.

"Petrol station?" Edward cocked an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "We're in Southern Africa. Get with the program. There are no gas stations here. These cars run on petrol."

We pulled into a Total and I jumped out of the car as soon as Edward brought the car to a stop. A few minutes later I was back, and armed with the knowledge of the nearest Nando's.

Dinner turned out to be productive. We discussed our plans for the coming week and added to the grocery list I had started. I normally used my iPhone to compose any type of list, but since I knew I could no longer rely on my phone to organize my life whilst temporarily living in Africa, I felt it important I carry a notepad and pen at all times with me. I messily scrawled down what was needed for the house as Edward and I reeled off the necessities.

"We'll need to buy some bottled water on our way home tonight, too."

"Yup," I nodded in agreement. "I also need to buy tampons. Tonight."

Edward gulped, a look of almighty doom adorned his face. "Tonight?"

"Yes, Edward. Tonight." I could see what was going on in his head. He had been thinking about getting me home and having his way with me but now that I had dropped this bomb on him he was visibly distressed. He had a look on his face that matched one a little boy might had his toy truck been taken away from him. More cruelly enough, I found Edward's forlorn expression rather amusing.

"A little blood never hurt anybody," he muttered.

At this I stopped dead in my tracks. My meal all but forgotten about and my appetite suddenly nonexistent. I looked up from my food to stare across at my boyfriend in complete and unadulterated horror. I could not believe my ears. Was Edward seriously suggesting what I thought he was? I sincerely hoped not!

"Surely you're not saying what I think you're saying Edward, or, forgive me, should I address you as Dracula from now on?" I joked, praying he would laugh this conversation off and move along to a desperately needed new topic.

I couldn't bare to look over at my half full glass of red wine. And I could forget taking further sips from it.

He looked around us as if to make sure that nobody was listening in on our conversation. "This isn't the time nor the place to have this discussion. However, I will say this, any man who has a problem with _that _is no man at all."

"Oh, please."

"I'm serious. I'm not saying that we should or that we will. I can see you're not comfortable with the idea. Just know that it's something we can work up to. When you're ready, let me know."

I was stunned but equally proud of him at that moment. He was everything I could ever want in a man. He was a little out there but his heart was in the right place. Being able to talk about everything and anything was extremely comforting to me, even if the subject in question did leave a lot to be desired.

I gave him my most devilish of smiles. I wasn't quite ready for what he was suggesting, and I doubted I ever would be, but that didn't mean I still couldn't take care of my man.

~IC~

**End notes:**

**I think we all know what Bella has up her sleeve...**

**See you next time!**

**-Abby**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

**a/n:**

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**EMILY93 is my lovely beta and believe me when I say that if it wasn't for her this chapter would not exist. **

**More at the bottom...**

BPOV

On our way back to the house I was a ball of nervous excitement. While I was no stranger to oral sex it had never served as the main course. It was always an appetizer and I had never pleasured Edward for more than a few minutes before shifting to more mutually involved endeavors. The first time I took him in my mouth I was unsure as to how to proceed. I was convinced that my mouth could not open wide enough to accommodate him. Edward scoffed at my remark and assured me that he was not _that _well endowed.

He was right of course and once I relaxed enough I had no problems. We had a good giggle over my anxious fumbling, but Edward was anything but laughing once I started getting it right.

The current situation filled me with fear. Edward had no idea what he had coming to him so he was unaware of my internal turmoil. You see, while I was well acquainted with his member I didn't know him all that intimately. In other words, Edward had never achieved orgasm while I was going down on him. Now that intercourse was off the table I wasn't sure how I would deal with his orgasmic offering. Would I have him finish in my mouth and if I did would I spit it out? There were a lot of logistics to consider. I had never tasted semen but I knew that it wasn't exactly like taking a trip to Baskin Robbins, or so I recalled Miranda from Sex and the City once putting it. What if I found it disgusting and I inadvertently threw up on him? My head was swimming. I was drowning in my own overabundance of thoughts.

"What's got you so deep in thought?" Edward finally asked.

"Nothing, I'm just tired."

"Shower and bed for you then." He winked at me before focusing his attention on the road once more.

I went straight for the shower as soon as we arrived home. Edward did the same once I was done and sitting on the bed while untangling my hair. I thought to myself that his taking a shower was a good thing as his little friend would be clean. I smiled at myself despite my nerves.

When Edward emerged from his shower I couldn't help but admire how sexy he looked. It was just my luck that my internal monologue turned into a wanton hussy while I was out of commission. Edward would point out that this was by choice but still. I was experiencing a level of arousal at the sight of him that was beyond anything I had ever experienced. I wanted him. _Now._

He was drying his hair off with a towel, roughly running it back and forth over his head as he made his way towards me.

I watched him dig through his suitcase until he found his hairbrush. He ran it through his hair as he walked back to the bathroom in order to hand his towel. In the blink of an eye he was beside me in bed.

He was about to say something when I jumped up and onto his lap. I straddled him and anchored myself to him. One hand found the back of his neck and the other fisted his shirt as I pulled him towards me. He had no time to react, than that of plain shock on his face right before I attacked his mouth with mine.

It didn't take more than a second for Edward to react just like I needed him to. He kissed me back fiercely and with a hunger that told me that it had been too long since we had last been intimate. As we continued to kiss and grope each other I gently ground against his groin. His moan and hiss confirmed to me that Edward was enjoying himself.

I proceeded to give him a peck on the cheek before travelling my way down his body. I lifted his shirt up as I worked my way down his torso, trailing kisses towards my final destination. Edward took off his shirt in a flash and gulped loudly when I made it to the elastic of his pajama pants.

"Let's get you naked," I purred.

He nodded and swallowed again. The rise and fall of his chest was gaining speed.

I tugged down his pants and boxers simultaneously. He lifted his hips off the bed when needed and before I could think about what I was doing he was completely bare before me. It was then my turn to gulp and breathe heavily.

I dove right in, eager to begin. I licked, stroked, sucked. I had read up on some articles on how to do this better and I was hoping that it would pay off. Edward's vocalizations encouraged me and let me know that I was definitely pleasing him. I redoubled my efforts, nipping at him gently in between sucking and licking while stroking his shaft.

Seeing him gain pleasure from my labor was the greatest thrill for me. I felt powerful, especially knowing that I was the only one who was privy to his undoing. Nobody else got to see this side of him.

"Bella, fuck I'm close," he grunted.

"Mmmmm," I moaned around him as I intensified my efforts, increasing my pace as I sucked. Getting Edward to the point of climax was my current and most important goal.

"Baby, please I'm going to come. You've got to get out of my way."

"Shut up and come in my mouth," I demanded.

That did him in. I felt Edward tense around my mouth and heard him groan before feeling his hot release land on my tongue and as it did I wasn't sure whether to swallow or let him finish. I continued stroking him until he was spent.

His semen was wet and salty. That reality didn't bother me in the least and without intending to, I swallowed. I was shocked by the reflexive action for which I had not planned but even more that it hadn't been as offensive to my taste buds as I first imagined. Edward had a similar look of shock and I'm fairly certain that if he could have, he would have come again. I felt smug.

"Bella, babe that was amazing. Thank you," he said, still breathless from his orgasm.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it." I could feel my cheeks heat up as my smile grew wider.

"Liked? Are you kidding? I loved it. Seeing your lips wrapped around me. God, that always looks so _fucking _sexy but to know you were going to keep at it until I came...You've no idea what that did to me."

"Hmm, I think I might have some idea baby," I said teasingly. "Is it okay if I kiss you? I'll keep my mouth closed." I didn't want to be rude and assume that he wouldn't mind. Edward and I had been intimate countless times but we were both still learning.

"My sexy girl sucks me off and lets me come in her mouth for the first time ever and you think I'd turn down a little kissing for fear of tasting myself on her? That doesn't gross me out in the least. Now get over here missy and make out with me." He grinned.

I snuggled up to him. His arms came around me and he tilted my face towards his own. He kissed me deeply, his tongue probing my mouth without hesitation. I whimpered at the sheer intensity. I was so in the moment that I briefly considered steering us towards the bathroom and taking him up on his previous offer this evening.

Desperation emboldened me but not enough to jump that hurdle. At least not on this particular night.

~IC~

The first few weeks of our stay in Botswana were a time of transition and adaptation. Edward busied himself with preparations for the music clinics he would be running while I worked diligently on staying on top of my school work.

The University of Botswana had been beyond welcoming to me and I was thoroughly enjoying being a part of their Sociology department. The classes were engaging and it was interesting to see the social issues that were faced by a nation far different to my own. In some ways the challenges were the same but the dichotomy between the social classes was more pronounced. The country was prospering but as it always happens there are those who are left without a piece of the pie.

"Bella, we have reservations at the Mokolodi Restaurant at seven thirty."

I looked up from my reading to see Edward standing before me. I had been reading for a while and my eyes felt tired.

"I forgot about that. I can't believe it's already Friday."

"You've been burning the candle at both ends. I think you need to put away your books for the weekend. Maybe pick them back up on Sunday."

"All right," I said smiling before closing my book and getting up from my spot on the couch. "I'm going to take a shower."

"I'm going to try calling my parents while you're in there. They called earlier but the connection was bad."

In the shower I thought back through the past few weeks and I realized that Edward had been acting a little different. It was almost as if he was trying to give me my space while living with me at the same time. We had never discussed living together and I had just assumed it would be seamless. Assuming is never a good idea.

Another thing that struck me as odd was that we hadn't been intimate since I had given him a blow job. That thought sent a chill through my spine as it jogged my memory. In my haste to pack I had failed to bring my six month supply of birth control pills. I was on my last pack.

It had been a pain to procure so many at one time and I had to make arrangements with my doctor and show proof at the pharmacy that I would be out of the country for an extended period of time. I was hesitant to start on a different brand or formulation so I knew that unless Jacob shipped them over I would have to make other arrangements. The chill that had developed at the thought of an unplanned pregnancy was debilitating and I quickly shut off the water before stumbling out of the tub and wrapping myself in a towel.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my hair still dripping wet and my hands fidgety.

"Bella?"

I looked up with what I imagined could only be a stunned look.

"What's wrong? You look unwell." Edward's voice betrayed his own discomfort.

"It's nothing. I just remembered that after this round of birth control I'll be without my pills. I left my stash in New Orleans."

"Oh, well that's okay we're still safe. You take those things religiously and we haven't had sex since we got here," he said matter-of-factly. Edward's so called attempt at reassuring me hadn't helped in the slightest. It only served in reminding me, yet again, that we hadn't had sex in weeks.

"About that, why the sudden drought in that department?"

"We've both been so busy and you've looked exhausted. Plus living together, I didn't want to... I don't want you to feel obligated. Fuck. Bella, I'm sorry. You haven't initiated anything either and I've been such a horn dog as of late. I've been sporting wood all the damn time. I'm surprised you haven't noticed."

"I always want you, Edward. I didn't think that living together would throw you into such a tailspin. I was just thinking how we never discussed anything. Let's get ready for dinner and talk a little over some drinks. We should probably cash in during the next week or so."

"Cash in?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in question.

"Once I'm done with the pills you'll have to start wearing condoms."

"Right, well I'll be sure to take advantage of you until your period."

I giggled at him. "I'm surprised you're not more put out by the prospect of condoms."

"Bella, you're the only woman I've ever not worn them with. It feels amazing and I'll be sad to not feel you, but we need to be safe. We can't be making babies at this point in our lives."

"Do you want them?" I quickly asked. Unaware I was even thinking about bringing up such a topic in conversation anytime soon.

"Children?" he questioned, taken aback by my sudden inquiry.

"Yeah." He had sounded hesitant and I didn't like it one bit.

"I do, sweetheart. How about you?"

"When I was younger I wasn't sure. I didn't think it was something I would ever want, but now, I want them. With you. Only with you. It's true that I want everything with you."

"We'd make beautiful babies." Edward nodded vehemently, grinning down at me.

"Oh, I'm certain we will." I smiled to myself, surprised I already had an image in my head of our mini Cullen-Swans.

~IC~

EPOV

"Lebogang, stay close to Boitumelo. You two are buddies and I wouldn't want either of you to get lost."

"Yes, Miss Bella," the children responded in unison.

Bella and I were volunteering with a program for HIV positive children. Our trip to Thamaga included a stop at a pottery village. The handcrafted pottery was impressive and the quality of the pieces was only eclipsed by the aesthetic beauty. The children would tour the facility and learn how the pottery was made.

"Okay everybody, eyes on me please," Bella said loudly as all of the children and fellow volunteers stopped and turned to face her.

"Thank you. Now as discussed we are operating on the buddy system. Each one of you has been paired up with a buddy. You are not to stray from your buddy and you must know where your buddy is at all times. Each pair of buddies has a fellow pair to watch over. Precious and Mpule are paired with Tshepo and Michelle. This means that Precious and Mpule must know where Tshepo and Michelle are at all times. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Miss Bella," came the chorused reply.

She then went on to explain about bathroom breaks and keeping their hands to themselves.

"I didn't bring enough money to pay for all the broken pottery that is likely to result. Let's look with our eyes okay?" she said lightly.

Bella was a natural leader. It was plain to see that volunteering with these kids brought her great joy. She had a strong nurturing and maternal side to her and constantly worried about losing one of the kids. I had never been in charge of any field trips as I had only ever visited children at schools. I hadn't realized how much planning and supervision it all required. The children we were escorting were between the ages of ten and twelve. They were old enough to follow instructions as long as they were repeated often. Repetition, Bella assured me, was key.

"Mister Edward, please tell Thabang to stop telling me to go to Lobatse." She pulled lightly on my hand as she pleaded her case.

"Who is telling you to go to Lobatse, Unity?" I had no idea who Thabang was.

"It's him, in the blue shirt, Mister Edward."

Bella was busy speaking to the manager in charge of the tour and so the children and fellow volunteers were standing around outside the pottery showroom.

"Thabang, could you come over here please?" I asked the accused boy.

"Eish, wena. Why are you troubling me, Mister Edward?" he asked with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Unity is upset because you're telling her to go to Lobatse," I said, not knowing why or how that was an insult.

"She's a sissy cry baby," he retorted.

"You shouldn't talk about her like that. Don't give her a hard time and I won't tell Miss Bella to exclude you from dessert tonight."

He rolled his eyes at me but nodded.

I walked back to Bella who was now doing a head count.

"Hey," she said with a bright smile.

"Hey, doll," I said, kissing her forehead. "Why is telling somebody to go to Lobatse an insult?"

She laughed. "Where did you hear that?"

"One of the kids was being teased. I had to intervene."

"There is a mental hospital there. If somebody tells you to go to Lobatse they're essentially telling you that you're crazy."

"Kids are cruel," I observed.

"They sure can be."

We finally went on our tour. The children, who had been a little rowdy by then quieted down and watched in fascination as the women spun the wheel and worked a previously shapeless lump of clay into a bowl.

After seeing the painting process and the kilns we made our way back to the buses and back to Gaborone.

We didn't get home until quite late in the evening but since it was Saturday we decided to have some wine after showering the sand off our bodies. I went first, giving Bella some privacy while she caught up with Jake and her dad.

"It feels so good to shower," she said happily as she ran a brush through her wet hair.

"Here," I said, handing her a glass of wine.

"Mmm, is this the Nederburg Pinotage?"

"Yes."

She took a small sip. "It's delicious. That was a good choice on your part. I can't wait to try the Shiraz."

We walked over to the sofa in the living room and made ourselves comfortable.

"We never really talked about splitting up our domestic responsibilities," Bella said effectively breaking the silence.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Well, I'd like to split things up equally but I know that's not always possible. We're more than just roommates so I think we can put our laundry together. I noticed you doing your own and that's fine but if I'm doing a load of whites I don't see why I can't do yours too. If you're comfortable with that of course."

"I think my clothes would love to get wet and take a tumble with yours. I just don't want you to feel like there is anything expected of you chore-wise because you're a woman."

"Okay, so how about we take turns, or we can split up the laundry. For example, say I have some free time I can throw in a load and then maybe you can toss it in the dryer if I'm not here. Does that make sense? We can each fold and put away our own clothes."

"That's fine," I said taking a sip of my wine. "What about cooking? I know you like to cook but you have classes and a lot more to do than I do. I don't mind taking care of dinner but there are few things in my recipe repertoire."

"We can look up some recipes together and build on your strengths. I'd like to cook some of the time, I mean I love to cook. Especially for you." She leaned over and pecked my cheek.

And so we continued discussing how we would divide and conquer. Fridays were easy days for Bella school wise so we decided that we would make that our cleaning day. The floors and bathrooms would be tackled together as well as any laundry that needed to be folded and put away.

I had never enjoyed doing housework while I lived alone. I loathed most tasks but managed to keep my apartment clean. The first time Bella came over she was impressed that my toilet wasn't a cesspool. I was surprised to find myself looking forward to playing house with Bella. Of course, the excitement would likely fade as the chores became mundane but I was certain that anything I did alongside Bella would always be fun.

Sunday was a pretty lazy day and we didn't do much of anything. I did manage to sneak out to buy some condoms. I felt it was my duty, as the man, to purchase them. Up until that point contraception had been Bella's responsibility and she had obviously been diligent.

When I returned from my little shopping trip I was eager to put my new acquisitions to use. Bella and I had made love several times before her birth control pills ran out but I was desperate to be with her again. I looked forward to trying sex while wearing a condom. Perhaps I would last longer and give Bella more pleasure, I thought.

I crawled back into bed with Bella, carefully placing my foil wrapped buddies on the night stand beside me. She was sleeping peacefully, pouting as always.

"I love your pouty lips," I whispered as I kissed her softly.

"Mmm, Edward," she whispered back slowly waking up to my advances.

I continued kissing her softly. My hands roamed her body finding her skin warm and soft under her pajamas.

"Let me go the bathroom, baby. I'll be right back," Bella said before kissing me one last time. She slipped out of bed and I decided to make myself more comfortable. I stripped down to my undershirt and boxers.

Bella came back to bed a few minutes later and joined me under the covers.

"Feeling fresh, love?" I asked.

"I'm ready to French kiss you now," she giggled.

We kissed and caressed each other. Each time Bella touched any part of me it felt as though it was the first time. Her touches were familiar and yet somehow new. We slowly peeled our clothes off and threw them unceremoniously towards the foot of the bed.

"Edward, I want you to touch me."

"Where, Bella?"

She moaned, "You know where."

"You need to be more specific," I managed to say. Bella was no prude but she was hesitant to let go in the dirty talk department.

"Fuck," she breathed out. "My pussy, Edward. I want you to touch my pussy. Is that specific enough for you?" she hissed.

I smiled against her skin. "Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to hear."

I trailed my hands down her body until I found the place that was dying for my attention. I found Bella to be more than ready for me and as I probed and caressed her soft feminine flesh she became frantic.

I extricated myself from her rather ungracefully and having never experienced this stop in the action she had a look of confusion and dare I say it, even rejection on her face. When she saw the condom in my hand a look of understanding and calm washed over her and she smiled.

"I'd forgotten we need those now. Thank you for looking out for us."

"I snuck out this morning." I grinned.

She stared intently at my erection as I rolled the condom on. This was a new step in our sex lives and because we weren't used to having to worry about contraception in the heat of the moment I was thankful to discover that my brain was able to function while blood flow was considerably diverted. Once I was safely sheathed in latex I turned my attention back to Bella only to find her scurrying away from me.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought we could try something different," she said. Her cheeks reddened.

I could only gape at her as she positioned herself on all fours in front of me. She looked over her shoulders, "Fuck me, Edward. Like this."

I couldn't speak. There were no words. She was so sexy and looked so fuckable. She had never been this forward in the bedroom. I loved what she was turning into. My own little vixen.

I was inside her a second later and I was so very thankful I was wearing a condom. I was sure that had it not been for the barrier between us I would've embarrassed myself by coming too soon.

"God, they were right. It feels so good like this. I can feel you deeper inside me Edward."

"I feel it too, baby. You feel incredible."

Bella's shallow breathing soon became moans and as we continued to move together she dropped down to her elbows and snaked a hand between her legs to where we were joined.

"Fuck, Bella, are you touching yourself?"

"Yes, oh, right there Edward," she rasped.

"There?" I asked as I thrust back into her.

"Yes, please don't stop."

"I would never," I manged to breathe out. It was getting increasingly difficult to hold back.

In a fit of shaking and quiet screams Bella came spectacularly. I followed soon after. Slumped over her while I caught my breath I placed soft kisses on her back and shoulders. I slipped out of her and removed the condom, tying it up and placing it on the night table.

Bella was laid out on the bed like a limp noodle. She was still breathing heavy and looked like she was high. Suddenly I heard her let out a sob.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" In a panic I quickly scrambled towards her. I hovered over her body and began my visual inspection.

She started to laugh and cry at the same time.

"I'm perfect. That was intense. It was the most intense orgasm of my life. I'm so happy."

I crawled up behind her and held her tightly as she continued to shake, laugh, and cry. I felt a little smug. I had fucked her silly. I let out a chuckle.

"What's funny?" she asked.

"Nothing, I was just thinking I fucked you silly."

She giggled. "Oh, you did, baby. You definitely did."

We cuddled until Bella had calmed down and regained her senses.

"Where's the condom?" she asked.

"It's on the night stand. Why?"

"Let me see it, I need to examine it."

"Examine it?" I was perplexed but handed it to her.

Once she had it in her hands she scrutinized it. Looking at it intently while she fondled it with one hand.

"I'm looking for leaks," she explained before I had the chance to ask what on Earth she was doing. "There is a lot of come in here. Were you backed up or something?" she asked teasingly.

"Uh, I...I think that's a normal amount."

"Hmm, well using condoms is certainly less messy. I usually feel like I've a river running out of me after sex," she said offhandedly.

"My, my, my, you miss are very vocal today. I like this new found uninhibitedness."

She shrugged. "I've been doing some thinking and some reading. I realized that if I don't talk about the dirty details with you... well, there's nobody else that needs to be privy to how much come leaks out of me when we have sex. I like discussing these things, I'm pervy like that. For some reason I felt bashful before. Not anymore. I'm sure you like hearing how messy you make me."

"I do. I definitely do."

And then there was round two.

~IC~

BPOV

"Thanks for the lift, Thandi. I'll see you next week," I said as I exited the car and shut the door.

"Anytime, Bella. Enjoy your weekend."

I waved to her as she drove off. Thandi and I had class together and had become fast friends. She had offered to give me a ride home after I mentioned that Edward's music clinic would keep him from picking me up until three o'clock.

It was shortly after one in the afternoon. I had intended on taking a nap when I got home but a note from Edward let me know there were clothes in the washing machine that needed to be put to dry. I groaned but made my way to the laundry room.

When I opened up the door to the washer I had to close my eyes and shake my head before bursting out laughing.

All of our whites were ruined because of a red garment that had somehow ended up mixed in. I knew Edward would be horrified at this unfortunate incident. I put everything in the dryer figuring that all was not lost. The clothes had gained an even pink hue without any splotches which I took to be a good sign.

Since I had time to spare and because Edward had been going above and beyond when it came to housework I decided to get a head start on the cleaning. I scrubbed the toilet and bathtub before wiping down the sink and counter tops. I then swept and mopped the floors. It was a laborious task. By the time I made it to the kitchen I was sweating. I considered giving up but decided to push on forward. It was close to two thirty and I wanted to be done by the time Edward got home.

The kitchen was already immaculate, thanks to Edward's efforts before he left the house this morning. All I needed to do was put away the dishes. I managed to drop a glass as I did so. Glass shards went everywhere . Surprisingly, I managed to clean up without cutting myself.

By the time Edward arrived I was in the middle of folding our newly pink wardrobe.

"Honey, I'm home!" he exclaimed.

He had taken to doing that whenever he arrived after me. He got a kick out of it.

"I'm in here," I yelled back.

"Hey, baby." He came up behind me and kissed my neck. "How was your day?"

"It was good. How was yours?"

"Amazing. The kids had a blast today." He looked around and suddenly smelled the air. He looked like a big goof.

"What are you sniffing at? You look like Nessie when I'm cooking."

"It smells like you cleaned. Did you?"

"I did. I wanted to give you a break. You've worked so hard at taking care of things while I'm busy with school. I really appreciate it."

"It's the least I can do," he said as he sat on the bed. He was sitting right next to the pile of pink clothing I was in the process of folding. "What's all this?" he asked as he picked up what used to be a white undershirt.

"Our whites." I could not keep the teasing tone out of my voice.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Bella. I ruined all these didn't I?"

"I don't think it's entirely your fault. We sorted these together yesterday. How my red shirt got mixed in with these is a mystery. Don't worry about it. You now have plenty of pink underthings to wear."

"Good thing I'm man enough to wear pink."

"I think it takes a real man to wear pink. You'll look sexy, baby."

We finished putting away the clothes together. Edward was really good at folding t-shirts and his work was worthy of a retail store. I made sure to tease him and compliment his skills as we worked.

We were in the middle of discussing dinner plans when there was a knock on the door.

"I wonder who that could be. You're not expecting anyone are you?" Edward asked as he got up.

"No." I got up and followed him towards the door.

Imagine my surprise when Edward opened the door to reveal none other than Tanya standing on our stoop.

"Tanya, what are you doing here?" Edward asked without bothering to mask his disgust.

"I tried calling you the other week and your parents told me you were here. I couldn't pass up the chance to see you. They didn't mention Bella. I thought you'd be alone."

I wanted to smack her. I thought after our little heart to heart at her house she had been sincere. It had now become obvious that she was still delusional.

"It's so lovely to see you again, Tanya." I just about shoved Edward aside as I maneuvered around him. "Please come in."

Edward gave me a desperate look.

"May I use your bathroom?" Tanya asked.

"Sure, let me show you where it is," I said leading her towards the back of the house. In my mind I had already killed her several times.

I left her to do her business and hurried back to Edward who was livid.

"What the fuck is she doing here? I can't believe my parents gave her our address."

"I'm sure they had no idea she would show up here. Besides she's a conniving manipulator. I'm sure she was lying when she said that your parents didn't mention I was here too."

"I'm going to ask her lo leave. It's rude of her to just show up here. What is she expecting?"

"Edward, I know you're upset and this is wrong on so many levels but we can't just send her away. Let's find out what she wants. She might just want to visit with you for a bit. We're jumping to conclusions here."

Her footsteps alerted us to Tanya's return. We quickly ended our conversation.

"I couldn't help but notice a condom wrapper in the trashcan. You know, if ever you want to actually feel a _real _woman when having sex let me know. I'm on the pill. You can ride me bareback any day."

How do you respond to something like that? There was no dignified response to her. She didn't deserve one above all else. So I did the only thing I knew to do; I one upped her.

"Silly girl, jumping to conclusions. Edward only uses condoms when he fucks me in the ass. I don't need to give you the details of what goes on in our bedroom, on the couch and on the kitchen counter. I will tell you that the next time you offer to fuck my boyfriend you better be ready to pay up because that may just be something I want to watch."

Tanya gaped at me like a fish out of water and Edward's expression wasn't much different. I had been incredibly vulgar in my response but I felt I was justified. Sometimes shock therapy is the only way to go.

"I'm going to leave you to say to Edward whatever it is that you came to say and then I want you gone. You're not welcome in my home."

I turned around and walked to the bedroom. Slamming the door once I was inside.

**End notes:**

**I have affectionately referred to this chapter as the blow job that almost never happened. I was nervous about writing it because I am not as graphic as other writers. Not because I have a problem with graphic depictions but because that's not my voice and to attempt it would likely seem forced. My beta was such a great sounding board and her honest critique of the chapter prompter the first true rewrite I've done for this story. Thank you for being a great beta and true friend. Your love for this story is truly humbling. **

**To my readers and reviewers, thank you. I love hearing from you and I treasure each one of you. **

**Check out my tumblr for this story: abbycreations(dot)tumblr(dot)com**

**I'm also on Twitter: abbycreations**

**Until next time, **

**Abby**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**a/n:**

**Thank you to my readers both the regulars and the new ones. I'm always excited to share my story with somebody new :)**

**Thank you to everybody who has left me a review. I treasure each one and I respond to all of them. If I've somehow missed you please let me know. Sometimes FFN doesn't send out notifications. **

**If you've been reading for a while then you already know that the lovely EMILY93 is my beta and that she does a lot more than just edit my story. I can't thank her enough for giving so freely of her time. I could wax poetic about her awesomeness and how much I love her but I will spare everyone from my ramblings and instead just say that Emily is amazing and I wouldn't trade her for the world. xoxo**

EPOV

I heard the bedroom door slam shut. I didn't know what to do, what to say or where to start.

Bella had told Tanya off in the most creative and vulgar way. Of course we had never done _that_but Tanya didn't know Bella had just said it for shock value. It was pretty amusing considering the circumstances.

Tanya stood before me red faced and chest heaving. Bella had caught her unawares and it was obvious she was not prepared to react in any coherent way on the shit storm that had just rained on her.

"You need to leave, Tanya. It's a pity that we must part like this. Up until now I was quite fond of you and your family. In light of the disrespectful manner in which you've invaded my home and how disgustingly you addressed my girlfriend, I must now ask you to leave and never return. I'm afraid you now have no place whatsoever in my life. For good."

"I just wanted to see you and I was only joking about what I said to Bella. The girl obviously can't take a joke, Edward."

"Cut the crap, okay? You saw a condom wrapper and made a point of it to bring it up. Who even does that? It's just childish. People in relationships, better yet, in _love_have sex and by the way you should know better than to offer to go without protection. That's the sort of reckless behavior that's going to get you in trouble one day. Back to the issue at hand, you had no right to even mention what you saw. That was low in itself but to offer what you offered was not only low and disrespectful to Bella and I but to yourself as well. You should be ashamed of yourself Tanya. I know I am _for_ you."

"Fucking hell! I didn't come here for a lecture. I found out you were here and so I drove up to see you. That's what friends do. You obviously have a stick up your ass just like your precious girlfriend."

She was acting like a child and I was at a loss as to what I should do. For all I knew she could have taken one of her parents' cars without telling them and driven herself here. My main concern, however, was Bella. I was done wasting any more time on Tanya and her detachment with reality.

I huffed, not wanting to say what I was about to say. "Listen, tell me where you're staying and I'll come over later. We'll talk then. Talk. That is all. So don't go getting any ideas. I am very angry with you Tanya. You have to leave now and please don't come back here."

She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm staying at the Gaborone Sun. Room one twenty-five."

I walked her to the door and watched as she got in her car and drove off.

I quickly made my way to our bedroom and slowly opened the door. I was unsure in what state I would find Bella.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands.

"She's gone."

"Thank goodness for that." She looked a little flushed but she wasn't crying. She smiled brightly at me before looking away. "I'm sorry about what I said. That was out of line and inappropriate. I'm not sorry I told her off but I am a little embarrassed you heard me be so crass."

"It irritates me a little to hear you say that. I'm your boyfriend. I'm the one person who is allowed to see you like that. You can say anything to me or in front of me and it isn't going to make me think any less of you. They're just words, love. She deserved every one of them."

"How did you get her to leave?"

"I simply demanded she leave. I did tell her I would visit her at her hotel. She's got no place in our lives if she's going to act like she just did and pull similar stunts in the future. It's such a double standard, she practically stalks me and disregards my rejection of her advances. If the roles were reversed I'd probably be in jail."

"Women can be strange and I agree it's a total double standard. But are you really going to see her?"

"I'm not sure to be honest. I'm not sure what my responsibility towards her is. She's obviously unhinged. I'll call her parents and see if they know what she's up to."

Bella nodded and followed me into our study where I kept an address book. I looked up the Van der Merwe's number and pulled out my phone.

"Van der Merwe residence."

"This is Edward Cullen for Mr. or Mrs. Van der Merwe."

"One moment, Sir."

A few moments later I was greeted by Tanya's mother.

"Edward, how lovely of you to call. How are you dear?"

"I'm well, ma'am, thank you. I was wondering if you knew where Tanya was."

"She's in Cape Town with some friends. She'll be back in few days. Are you in town, Edward?"

"Actually, no. I'm in Botswana temporarily. My girlfriend, Bella, got into the exchange program at the University of Botswana."

"That's wonderful. You must tell your lovely girlfriend we are very happy for her. Will you be visiting Jo'burg while you're down here?"

"Hard to say at the moment. Um, I was calling because Tanya is here. She showed up at my house a little while ago. She was acting... strange."

"Oh my! I had no idea. How on Earth... do you know where she is staying?" She sounded panicked.

"The Gaborone Sun, room one twenty-five."

I went on to tell her what had happened when she showed up. I spared her the dirty details but needless to say her mother was distraught and extremely worried about her daughter. She assured me that she and her husband would be making their way to Gaborone as soon as possible and promised to call me once they were here. After apologizing profusely she hung up so that she could make her travel arrangements.

"I take it her parents had no idea," Bella said softly.

"I guess not. I can't wait for this to be over. This is the last straw for me. Do you think I'm being unreasonable?"

"Obviously I am a tad biased here but I honestly feel that at this point in her life she's not a positive presence in yours. She can't accept the fact that you want nothing more than friendship and she doesn't respect you or our relationship. I hate to say it but she's bat shit insane."

I wasn't one for this sort of drama and in a short while Tanya had managed to create a three ring circus of which I wanted no part of. I decided to pay Tanya a visit to let her know her parents were coming for her and to let her know that what I had said earlier still stood. I wanted her out of my life permanently.

Bella decided not to come along as she felt that her presence would only cause the situation to escalate.

I stood in front of Tanya's door and took a deep breath before knocking.

She opened the door without asking who it was.

"Edward! I'm so happy you're here. Please come in." She had a grin on her face that made my stomach uneasy. She certainly had something planned for me. I quickly thought against speaking with her in a private space.

"No, thank you. I think it's best if we go sit by the pool."

She sighed. "Fine. Let me get my key."

I was surprised she hadn't fought me on this.

We found an empty table in the gardens of the pool bar. It was a tranquil spot away from the hustle and bustle of the actual swimming pool.

"I called your parents, Tanya. They're on their way here."

She gasped. "Why would you do that?"

"Are you being serious? You are out of control and despite everything, I worry about you."

"Yeah, right. You don't care about me. You hate me. What did I ever do to you?"

"I don't hate you. I just...I don't want to continue having to tell you that I'm not interested. It's nothing against you, there's just nothing there. I'm in a relationship with a girl whom I love dearly. I'm happy. Why can't you accept that?"

"You make me feel safe. I feel that we have this connection that I don't share with anybody else. I know it's not mutual. I'm ashamed of what I did but at this point an apology seems inadequate."

She sounded coherent which was the complete opposite of her previous behavior. I was beginning to think that she had a legitimate problem.

"Tanya, you and your family have come to be very special to me. You opened your house up to me and I had the most amazing time during my stay with you. I will be forever grateful. I hope you find your happiness and that you let go of this crazy notion that you and I will ever be more than just friends."

She sniffled and dabbed her eyes with her sleeve. She looked a mess by this point and I almost felt sorry that I was responsible for her distress.

"I'll stay away. I just wanted the attention to be honest. When I drove up here I had no intention of doing what I did. Taunting Bella was just me lashing out at the fact that she has you and I never will."

We talked for a few more minutes before I bid her farewell and drove home.

~IC~

When I got home I found Bella asleep on the couch with a book on her lap. She looked serene. I sat across from her and watched her sleep.

I wondered if she was upset that I had gone to see Tanya. She was consistently supportive and understanding and I hoped that she wasn't holding back. I didn't doubt Bella but I was concerned that she wasn't expressing her true feelings about the situation. She had every right to be livid.

I was about to get up when I noticed a sheet of paper peeking out from under a stack of articles Bella had been reading for class. I pulled it out carefully and before I could think about what I was doing I started to read.

_Edward __left __to __go __see __Tanya __at __her __hotel__. __I __wonder __if __she__'__ll __try __to __rape __him__. __I__'__m __joking __of __course__. __I __don__'__t __think __she __would __be __able __to __overcome __his __strength __unless __he __relented __and __wanted __her __to__. __I __get __that __he __has __no __interest __in __her __but __part __of __me __wonders __if __perhaps __someday __he __will __tire of __me __and __take __her __up __on __her __offer__. _

_I __know __it__'__s __an __utterly __ridiculous __way __to __feel__. __He __has __declared __his __love __for __me __countless __times __and __our __relationship __is __stronger __than __ever__. __I __don__'__t __actually __believe __he __would __go __to __Tanya __but __I __do __have __an __honest __to __goodness __fear __that __one __of __us __will __want __out __eventually__. __Familiarity __breeds __contempt __after __all__. _

_I __don__'__t __know __what __I__'__m __feeling__. __Is __it __normal __to __have __so __many __doubts __about __a __relationship __that __is __solid __and __healthy__? __Why __do __I __revert __back __to __this __destructive __thinking__? __I __think __it__'__s __because __of __the __secrets __I __keep__. __I __can__'__t __help __but __maintain __some __form __of __a __guard __up __no __matter __how __hard __I __try __to __break __it__. __I __just __love __him __so __much__. __It __kills __me __to __think __of __myself __without __him__. __A__life__without__Edward__is__not__worth__living__.__I__'__d__hate__to__lose__him__. _

Her writing had become sloppy and erratic towards the end. I felt sick to my stomach at having invaded her privacy in such a way. With a trembling hand I slid the paper back into the stack on the coffee table and retreated.

Part of me wondered what secrets she was referring to. Perhaps she was talking about her thoughts. Her mind was closed off to me more often than not and I had pointed out to her on more than one occasion that she needed to be more vocal. I was not worried about what she had written. I had a bigger problem: confessing my infraction.

~IC~

BPOV

"I can't believe we've been here for over three months. Where has the time gone?" I wondered aloud.

"You'll be done with the semester before you know it. Have you given any thought to where you want to go afterwards?" Edward asked.

"I was thinking Zimbabwe and then maybe we could swing by Namibia and see Charlie before flying back home. What do you think?"

"I think," he said as he cored a head of lettuce. "That I'd love going anywhere with you."

I nudged him with my hip. "That's sweet, babe, but I'm being serious. Do you really want to go to Zimbabwe? I've never been to Victoria Falls and that's where I'd like to go ideally."

"The Smoke that Thunders," Edward mused. "I've never been either. I'll plan the trip. Hand me that cucumber please."

I handed it to him and went back to stirring the sauce. It was Sunday and we were making a big dinner that would provide us with left overs for the week. It had become part of our routine and it was one of the things I looked forward to the most.

"I keep forgetting to tell you. I'm going to Jo'burg next week."

I set down the spoon on the counter not caring that there would be a puddle of sauce pooling there.

"What do you mean you kept forgetting to tell me? That's a load of bull and you know it."

"It's not, Bella. Look, I'm not hiding anything."

"_Really__?_ Because I am pretty sure I saw an invitation addressed to you from the Van der Merwes. You very sneakily made it disappear and I figured you'd tossed it in the garbage. That was two weeks ago. Now all of a sudden you remember that you're going over there."

He looked like a man who had been busted. Even though he looked truly remorseful I was seeing red.

"I'm sorry I didn't bring it up before. I just knew you'd be upset and wouldn't want me to go."

I took a deep breath and took a moment to consider my words before responding.

"Just because you think or know that I'm not going to like something doesn't mean you should hide it from me. It hurts my feelings to know that you're capable and perfectly willing to make plans behind my back."

"I'm sorry, but I'm still going to go. I know there's the issue of Tanya but these people are like family to me. I'd prefer not to have to see her and subject myself to the possibility of enduring her usual crap but I feel like I should go. Especially since I'm so close and able to."

"So that's it then? You've made your decision without taking my feelings into consideration?"

He didn't say anything. The sounds of the simmering sauce punctuated the intense silence between us. It cackled like a raging fire. I felt faint. I couldn't believe him.

"I've lost my appetite," I said, dramatically tossing the dish towel I had in my hands onto the counter.

I walked into our bedroom before entering the bathroom. I locked the door behind me before undressing and getting in the shower. Under the soothing heat of the spray I let myself cry. I cried angry tears of frustration and hurt. When my sobbing became too much I sat on the shower floor feeling pathetic and sorry for myself.

Once I'd had enough of my emotional breakdown I rose up on my feet and washed my hair. I worked in the shampoo brusquely as if scrubbing my scalp would somehow purge the enraged thoughts from my mind. I didn't bother leaving in my conditioner for very long. The shower was turning from a comforting and soothing activity into yet another chore I could not wait to be done with.

My legs felt a little prickly as I soaped up my body but I had no desire to go through the trouble of shaving. I couldn't find it in me to care.

I emerged from the bathroom in a robe and with a towel wrapped around my head. Edward was standing at the door.

"I'm sorry. What I did was stupid. Please forgive me," he said slowly pausing after every couple of words.

I started running a brush through my tangled hair. "I just thought we were better than this. I don't care that you're going. I understand and respect your position. Please don't think this has anything to do with Tanya. I trust you implicitly. I just don't like deceit."

I sat on the bed feeling myself unable to fight anymore. Unable to hold on to my anger for another moment. Edward walked over to me and kneeled in between my legs. I held the hairbrush on my lap. My gaze trained on it.

"Please look at me," he whispered.

There was almost a delay in me before I averted my eye contact and looked at him. His eyes were red rimmed and watery. I sucked in a breath. My heart clenching at the sight of a teary Edward.

"If you don't want me to go I won't go. I wish I could take back what I did. You're right to call it deceit. I didn't know you'd seen the invitation, so in essence I hid it from you and sprung it on you at the last possible moment. I spent the time you were in the shower riddled with guilt. I heard you crying in there. I hate that I've hurt you. Bella, I never want to give you reason to cry that isn't a happy one. I know that's not possible." His words were sincere and admittedly a little sweet. I was having a hard time controlling the smile that was tugging at my lips.

"I want you to go. I'm not the kind of woman who wants to dictate your movements. You're your own person. I love that about you. I don't want that to ever change. Just promise me that from now on you'll talk to me about everything. Even the things you think I won't like. Like seeing Tanya and her family. Which by the way I don't mind. I don't want her in my home and I sure as hell don't want to see her for a while."

He chuckled.

I kissed his forehead.

We hugged.

We undressed.

We made love.

We reconciled.

~IC~

The following week, having resigned myself to the idea that Edward would be leaving to go to Johannesburg, I started packing a suitcase for him. I hadn't gotten very far when he called me.

"Hey!" I said excitedly.

"Hey, love. How are you?"

"I'm well. I was just starting to pack your suitcase for your trip since you won't be home until late."

"About that, I'm not going any more. The party was cancelled."

"Really? What happened?"

"It appears that Tanya has been doing drugs and almost overdosed last night. She's in the hospital. In light of the situation her parents are cancelling the event and focusing on getting her help."

"Wow. That's terrible. I guess she was strung out when she came here," I observed.

"Looks that way. Thanks for starting my suitcase for me, baby. I'm sorry you wasted your time."

"Oh don't worry about it. I hadn't made a lot of progress. Besides, I'm pleased as punch that I don't have to be without you."

"Hmm, is that so?"

"Possibly," I teased. "Are you still staying late at the community center?"

"I should be home in a couple of hours. Why? Did you need the car?"

"No, nothing like that. I was just wondering. I guess I'll see you soon."

"I can't wait. I love you."

"I love you, too."

When Edward got home I was just about finished preparing dinner. I had made a roasted chicken with vegetables. I didn't normally make such a feast on a weekday but I'd had a good day and there would be left over chicken for salads and such.

Half way through dinner Edward got a look of abject fear on his face.

"Oh my God. Bella, we fucked up."

I put down my fork, still loaded with couscous. "What did we do?"

"The other day. Shit, Bella. The other day we had sex and I didn't use a condom. I, you, we...we had been drinking that wine and I attacked you on the couch and it felt so good. Now I know why. I'm sorry."

He looked green and for a moment I feared he would either faint or throw up.

"Relax. First of all, you shouldn't take the blame. After all it takes two to tango so that oversight is as much my fault as it is yours. More importantly, however, I started taking the pill again over a month ago. Remember that package Jake sent. Guess what was in it? Had you not been preoccupied with inhaling those Oreos you might have heard me squeal with delight at the prospect of being back on the pill."

"What?" He had a dazed look about him as if the words I had just spoken did not compute.

"Edward, I'm safe. We didn't use a condom because it was safe to forgo it. I thought you had been paying attention. I mean, the pills are right in the medicine cabinet!" At that point I started to laugh.

"It's not funny, Bella. I was legitimately worried that I'd ruined your life."

"How should I interpret that? Your life wouldn't be ruined because you'd bounce had you knocked me up or only my life would be ruined because yours would be made?"

He smiled at me before throwing his head back in laughter.

"I was freaking out and the weird thing is that the thought hit me out of nowhere."

"Oh, that was funny. Your face was priceless baby." I grinned.

Edward blushed, his lips turned up in a cute smirk.

"I'm so full. Help me put away the food please?"

"Of course, love. I'll help you do the dishes too."

After cleaning up and putting away the left overs we went to bed. We didn't normally retire so early but Edward was eager to knowingly make love sans condom.

~IC~

We had decided to stay for a couple of weeks after the semester ended before taking a short trip to South Africa. My dad was planning a trip to Sun City and asked that we meet there. I was excited to go on a little vacation.

The week before we were due to leave I woke up to sharp pains in my abdomen. It was excruciating and I was quickly becoming panicked. It was early enough that Edward was still fast asleep in bed beside me. I considered waking him up but didn't want to disturb him unless it was absolutely necessary.

I got up to go to the bathroom and felt a little queasy as I walked over there. When I finally reached the bathroom I knew I was going to be sick. It was in this state that Edward found me.

"Bella, oh my God sweetheart! You look so ill."

I was swaying on my feet feeling nauseous and in pain. Edward brought his hand up to my forehead.

"You're burning up. What are your symptoms."

"I've a really bad pain on my side. I feel sick and unwell. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I think we need to get you to the hospital. I'm no doctor but this looks similar to what I experienced when I had appendicitis."

"What? No! That means surgery. I don't want to." I was crying, clutching my abdomen as I did so.

"It's going to be all right, love. We can't treat this at home and if your appendix ruptures...well, I don't want to think about that. I could be wrong but we're going anyway. As a precaution."

Edward was at my side, his hand rubbing my back gently. He kissed my temple before handing me my toothbrush and grabbing his own. After brushing our teeth Edward helped me get dressed. My stomach was tender and I was in so much pain that I couldn't muster the energy to put on a pair of pants.

Edward helped me get into a jersey knit dress and sandals. He was calm but efficient. We were out of the house and on our way to the hospital before I knew it.

**End notes:**

**I still have my appendix. Do you?**

**I want to take a moment to thank my readers for being so wonderful. I've recently seen a lot of bullying and name calling on Twitter among people in the 'fandom'. I've seen writers drag other writers through the coals and I've seen people leave horrible and rude reviews that only seek to offend. That's not neighborly and it saddens me to see intelligent and educated individuals behave in such shameful ways. I've thus far been spared from the ugly side of fan fiction so thank you for being kind to me. I really appreciate all of you.**

**I hope everybody is having a wonderful weekend!**

**Until next time. **

**Abby**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

**a/n:**

**Thank you for reading. I received such lovely reviews last chapter from such wonderful people. Thank you for giving my story a chance and taking the time to review. I can't express enough how much it means. **

**I'm dedicating this chapter to my beta EMILY93. Thank you for your continued support and friendship. It means the world to me. **

EPOV

The drive to Gaborone Private Hospital was tense. Bella was doubled over in pain and was trying hard not to cry but was unable to hold back the tears that streamed down her face in silent suffering.

I was extremely worried and seeing the love of my life in pain was not easy for me but I was doing my best to keep calm. She needed me and I was determined to be there for her. I knew I needed to be her support.

We arrived at the hospital fairly quickly. Bella was even paler than before and she had broken out in a cold sweat. I wasn't sure how much was due to her illness or her current state of panic. She leaned into me as we made our way into the emergency room.

Once inside I went up to the window and proceeded to fill out a short form that the triage nurse handed me. Bella stood beside me but as I busied myself with the form she made to fall. I caught her just in time otherwise she would have been needing treatment for a cracked skull in addition to whatever else was wrong with her.

By this point I was really beginning to freak out. An orderly came to help me with Bella and he ended up taking her back to an examination room right away. I managed to sneak back there with her. In the heat of the moment nobody had bothered to ask what my relationship to her was and I was grateful that I didn't have to leave her side.

"Bella, are you with me?" I asked feeling gradually more frantic as the time passed.

She nodded weakly, barely able to keep her eyes open. "It hurts so much. It's my right side now. Just the right side."

"I think the doctor will be here soon," I soothed.

A few moments later we were joined by a nurse and a doctor.

"Hello there. I'm Doctor Franks and I'll be taking care of you today, Miss Swan."

"Hi," Bella croaked.

"I see that your chief complaint today is abdominal pain accompanied by a fever and vomiting. Nurse Lesedi will take your vitals and I'll be back to examine you."

The nurse wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Bella's left arm and proceeded to take her temperature while the cuff inflated. She had a temperature of thirty nine point five degrees Celsius. It wasn't dangerously high but it wasn't great either.

"I need a urine sample," the nurse said as she handed Bella a small, transparent plastic cup with a screw top.

The nurse was nice enough. She was gentle and smiled as she worked. She helped Bella out of the hospital bed and escorted her to the restroom.

Doctor Franks returned just as Bella was easing back into bed.

"I've ordered a pregnancy test as I have to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. The symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy are very similar to the symptoms of appendicitis, which I suspect might be the diagnosis. However, because an ectopic pregnancy is very dangerous and could be fatal I am sending you for an ultrasound regardless of the urine test result. I need to make sure that your uterus and fallopian tubes are clear. The ultrasound will also allow us to take a look at your appendix should a pregnancy not be present. Do you have any suspicions that you may be pregnant?"

"No, but there's always a chance when you have sex right?"

Doctor Franks smiled, "Right you are."

A cold chill ran up my spine at the prospect that Bella could be pregnant with my child. Even worse, if she was and it was indeed an ectopic pregnancy, it was not viable and would need to be surgically removed in all likelihood. I wondered how that would affect Bella, to have lost a child, unplanned as it were.

The doctor excused himself leaving Bella and I alone.

"I know it's not a pregnancy, Edward. He's just being thorough. Stop freaking out."

"That obvious?"

She rolled her eyes and it took all of her strength to crack a slight smile in my direction.

Two hours later Bella was done with the ultrasound and it had been confirmed that she was indeed suffering from appendicitis. I had been present during her ultrasound and had watched with rapt fascination as the wand revealed what was hidden inside her body. I couldn't help but picture us in this same situation but under happier circumstances. Some day Bella would be laying as she was know, her tummy swollen with our child. When her uterus was revealed I imagined it filled with a baby. I was having a difficult time wrapping my brain around the images that were assaulting me.

When they were finally ready to take Bella into the operating room I wasn't prepared to say goodbye. I was terrified. Even though I had undergone the same surgery not long before, I was keenly aware that things went wrong every day and even a routine procedure could be laced with complications. My other concern stemmed from the fact that we were not back home. We were in Botswana, and I wasn't sure if the medical care was up to snuff.

"See you when you come out, Bella. I love you so much. I'll be right here when you wake up. I'll be here the whole time. I won't leave for a second."

I kissed her softly, wiping away her tears as I did so.

"I'm so scared, Edward. What if I don't wake up?" she whimpered.

"Shh, there, there." I crooned, stroking her hair as I comforted her, much for her sake as it was for my own. "Don't talk like that. You _will _wake up. Everything will be all right. Don't fret. I love you, baby. Hurry back to me."

"I love you, Edward. So much."

I gave her one last kiss on her forehead before she was wheeled away from me.

It was another two hours before the surgeon came to advise me as to Bella's condition. The surgery was a success and she was in recovery where she would be monitored until she came to and was able to keep down some fluids. Her appendectomy was done in the form of laparoscopic surgery. The surgeon explained that he had made three small incisions in her abdomen. One on her right side, one right below her navel and a third right above her pubic area. I listened politely even though I had personal experience with the procedure.

Once the surgeon had left, I left word with the nurses that I would be running home to get Bella's things. I asked that they call me should she be placed in a room before I got back or if anything else urgent happened should I need to be informed.

At home I packed some of Bella's stretchiest and softest pants as well as a couple of loose fitting shirts. She had one long sleeved sleep shirt which I figured would be better than the hospital gown she was currently wearing. I had a hard time deciding which panties to bring her as I was unsure as to whether low cut would be more comfortable than the ones that would cover her up more. I brought everything short of a thong. I was packing all things that screamed 'comfy' to me.

After hurriedly thrusting her toiletries and her favorite blanket into the bag I proceeded to call Charlie.

"Charles speaking."

"Mr. Swan, it's Edward."

"Hey there, boy. What's going on?"

"Bella's in the hospital. She's had to have her appendix removed. She's out of surgery and recovering. I'm at the house packing her some clothes."

"Christ, Edward! What timing she has. My poor baby. I'm glad to hear the surgery went well. How long are they keeping her in the hospital?"

"She should be released tomorrow or the next day. It depends on how she fares."

"Hmm, the recovery for that is a few weeks at the very least. I guess the trip to Sun City is out of the question for now. I'll make arrangements to fly down there in the next few days. Will I need a hotel?"

"No, Sir. We've a guestroom all set up. I'll speak to the realtor to extend our lease a few weeks. Let me know when your flight gets in and I'll pick you up from the airport."

"Sounds good, Ed. I'll send you a message once I finalize my travel arrangements. Take care of Bella for me. Give her a kiss for me and tell her I love her."

"I will, Sir."

"Please call me Charlie. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Always once more, Sir."

He laughed at this. "You might just do, Edward. You might just do."

After hanging up with him I proceeded to send e-mails to Alice and Jacob. I knew they would both kill me for not calling but I wanted to get back to Bella as soon as possible.

When I arrived back at the hospital Bella had just been transferred into her room. I was anxious to see her and could hardly contain my exasperation. One of the nurses took pity on me and led me up to her room with more haste than was necessary.

Bella was resting comfortably but was still hooked up to a heart monitor which I found odd. I didn't remark upon it but filed it away for when I spoke to Carlisle. I pulled up the chair so that I could sit close to the bed and hold her hand. I kept watch over her until her eyelids fluttered open.

"I'm glad that's over," she said groggily.

"Hey there pretty girl. How are you feeling, baby?"

"Not bad, I feel a dull discomfort in my side and I'm a little nauseous but much better than before. That pain was the most horrible thing I have ever felt in my life."

"I called Charlie. He's making arrangements to come here."

"It's too bad we won't be able to go to Sun City. What did my dad say?"

"That he loves you. We'll have plenty of opportunities to visit Sun City, Bella. What's important is that you're okay."

"I know, I was just looking forward to our holiday."

"Holiday? Oh, Bella, you've been spending too much time here," I teased. Bella had a knack for picking up idioms and terminology from wherever she was visiting. She embraced language and was an impassioned defender of both American English and the Queen's.

"Ow, don't make me laugh please," she cringed.

"Sorry, love." I lifted her hand in mine and kissed here there softly, thanking God she was okay.

Our little bubble was burst by the nurse that came in to get Bella to stand up and walk around. I recalled this being the worst part of my own recovery from the exact same surgery Bella had had because mentally you're anticipating the pain to be much worse than it'll actually be.

"Hello Miss Swan. I'm your nurse for the day. My name is Claire." She had a slight accent that gave away that her first language was Afrikaans.

"Hi, Claire. Please call me Bella."

"Very well, Bella. Now sweetie I'm going to have to ask you to get up out of bed and walk around for a bit. Have you been to the bathroom yet?"

"Um, no. I do need to pee though."

"Good, that's good," Claire said as she helped Bella sit up in bed. She proceeded to remove the electrodes that were stuck to Bella's chest and neck. I took note of Claire's movements so that I could assist Bella in the same manner whenever there wasn't a nurse present.

"I'm sorry I'm such a wimp. I just really hurt and I don't do well with pain," Bella said a little bashfully.

"We all experience and register pain differently. Your body feels strange to you still, it's taken quite a beating and your abdomen is swollen and tender. Take your time. Relax and take a deep breath." Claire was a seasoned professional and her encouragement was already having an effect on Bella.

She slowly rose up on her feet. "Ow, ow, ow! Gosh that hurt." She was finally upright albeit a little haunched over.

"Try to straighten up a tad dear, but not too much. Easy does it."

A few moments later Bella was ambulating on her own. Claire walked beside her pushing the hospital drip stand in time with Bella's steps but was also ready to steady her should she require it. They went into the bathroom where Claire helped Bella get situated. She then stepped outside while Bella peed.

"Don't flush please," she called out to Bella who responded that she wouldn't.

"I'm very vigilant and like to make sure her urine looks normal. It's not required but I've seen some things in my time as a nurse," Claire explained.

"I appreciate your thoroughness," I said sincerely.

"Okay, I'm done. Um, could I wear some panties now?" Bella asked.

"It's best if you let your incisions breathe for now. Besides, most patients find it uncomfortable to wear anything over their incision scars. Do you have any low cut underwear?"

"I do, but I'm not sure what Edward brought me."

Claire went back into the bathroom and helped Bella out into the hallway for a brief stroll.

"I'm going to walk a short while with her make sure she's okay before you take over," she smiled at me.

When Claire gave me the green light I joined Bella out in the hallway where we walked for a few more minutes before she begged me to take her back to her room.

"I'm so tired and achy. This is awful. I'm never having surgery again," she declared.

"Let's hope you never require it."

Being back in her bed seemed to relax Bella. She was happy to have her blanket with her and complained that the hospital sheets were scratchy and flimsy.

"I get that they keep this place cold to kill germs but are they trying to kill the patients too by freezing us to death?" Bella huffed.

I switched to happier topics and she chatted contentedly until her meal arrived. She sipped on chicken broth and ate some crackers but did not have much of an appetite. Nevertheless I was glad she was eating at all. Most people didn't have much of an inclination to eat after surgery. The after effects of the anesthesia were hard on the stomach.

When she was asleep once more I went down to the lobby where I called my dad and told him of Bella's surgery.

"What a pair you two make. Seems her body decided that if you didn't need an appendix then neither did she."

"It seems to have hit her harder than it did me. She just about passed out when we first got here."

"Poor girl. She was likely in so much pain that she panicked. The good news is that the worst is over and she's on her way to making a complete recovery."

"She was definitely scared. It was so different seeing it from the other side. When it's somebody you care about even the most routine medical emergencies take on an added sense of urgency and risk."

"Wait until you have children," he teased.

We discussed briefly our timeline for returning home and I was hesitant to make any plans to go to Seattle but my mom was insisting I pay them a visit. It was hard to refuse her so I compromised instead. I was to ask Bella if she wanted to accompany me and then plan accordingly.

After ending the call I made my way back to Bella's room where she slept soundly. I took a seat by the bed and contemplated the young woman that lay before me. It had been almost a year since we had first met at JFK and in that short amount of time she had become my everything. We had jumped into this relationship with both feet. Even though Bella had and still, to some extent, had reservations about the speed at which we took to each other it was plain to see that she loved me as much as I loved her. She was scared but so is everyone. Relationships mean taking a risk. It may not work out, it may wither and die but if you don't take that leap of faith you will never discover the simple joy of sharing your life and yourself with another person.

As I sat in the uncomfortable vinyl upholstered chair I made my plans. I would take the LSAT, get into law school and propose to Bella. She would be graduating next May and while I was certain that she was currently as clueless about her future as I had been at that point in my college career. She had hinted at working with some non-profit AIDS outreach programs both within the United States and South Africa. I could see her doing just that. Of course if she chose that path I would have to rethink my law degree or at the very least revise my timeline. However, this did not worry me in the least as I was confident that whatever we decided on, we would do so together.

~IC~

BPOV

Edward was the most attentive and doting care taker I could ask for. A week post my operation found me sitting comfortably in our living room reading while he and Charlie ran out to Pick-and-Pay for some groceries. My dad had arrived two days after my surgery, just in time to see me come home that day. I was happy to be able to see him even though deep down I was sad that we wouldn't get to spend his vacation in Sun City as initially planned.

My dad and Edward made sure that I would want for nothing. It wasn't until a few days ago that my appetite had returned and I had been able to eat a full meal. I was pretty sure I had lost a few pounds as a result of eating so little since my stay in the hospital, but I was certain I would gain them back in no time.

My abdomen was still a little tender and it hurt to make any sudden movements. As long as I took it easy and was careful when sitting down and standing up I was fine. Edward and I would take a little stroll each evening and so far it had made my recovery better. Sitting at home all day was beyond boring.

"Bells, we're home," I heard Charlie call out.

"I'm right where you left me. Did you get a lot of stuff?"

"Nah, just enough to fatten you up. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Still surviving." I forced a smile. I didn't appreciate my dad and significant other treating me like an invalid. Their sweet gestures were kind, and even more their efforts but I hated feeling like I needed to rely on anyone other than myself to do things. I had grown up being very independent. I wasn't used to the five star treatment.

"My daughter is a comedian," Charlie said.

I heard him shuffling about in the kitchen and even though I wanted to see what he was up to and investigate, I knew it would take me a good five minutes to pick myself up off the sofa without assistance. Mobilization was possible, but not particularly easy, especially without a human hoist that went by the name of Edward Cullen.

Moments later I heard Edward walk through the door. The crinkling of plastic bags indicated that he too had his hands full.

"I think we overdid it, Charlie," Edward said in a hushed tone.

I rolled my eyes. Some stealthy duo these two were.

"I thought you said you didn't buy much," I called out accusingly.

"Don't worry yourself, Bells. Edward and I have it under control. I'm making you steak for dinner. Are you up for that?"

"That will be fine, dad. Edward, can you come over here please?"

He did not answer but was next to me before I could wonder what was taking him so long.

"Yes, love?" He questioned softly.

"I missed you," I said.

"Me too, baby. I'm glad you're feeling better. How is your book?"

"Good, but I'm tired of reading. Do you want to take a nap while my dad cooks?"

He looked at me suspiciously. I had tried to initiate a little something in the bedroom the night before but he stopped me before I could get anywhere good. His body responded in all the right ways but his concern over my well being caused him to nix any action.

"A nap?"

"Yes, Edward. A nap. Why are you over thinking this?"

"Well because you're sneaky and you might just be trying to seduce me. I appreciate your enthusiasm baby, but we can't have you hurting yourself. Let's take it easy, okay?"

"I hate that you think you know better than me," I said petulantly.

"Bella, please don't think like that. I love you and I love that you love sex with me so much that you can't keep your hands off me even when you're not one hundred per cent. Believe me, I want you too. _So_ much. But let's wait until you can get up without wincing."

"You noticed that, huh?"

"Yes, you're a terrible actress. Your eyes betray you."

"Yes, well I really do need that nap. No funny business I promise." I gave him my best angelic smile. I don't know that he bought it completely but he did agree to taking a little nap.

"Dad," I called out as I slowly stood from my comfy nest on the couch, Edward giving me a hand like usual.

"Yes, you're taking a nap. I heard."

I blanched. I figured if he heard our nap discussion then he probably heard the rest. Just as I was about to convey my distress to Edward he silenced me with a kiss. He proceeded me to lead me to the bedroom, closing the door once we were inside.

"I made a bet that you wouldn't go down for a nap. He was convinced, and rightly so, that you would declare it to be nap time within twenty minutes of our arrival."

"So when he said-"

"Lucky guess on his part," Edward smirked.

Feeling much relieved I made myself comfortable on the bed and promptly fell into a deliciously deep sleep.

~IC~

Charlie's visit went by really fast and before I knew it we were seeing him off at the airport. It was bittersweet. I didn't get to see my dad often and knowing that he treasured spending time with me as much I enjoyed spending time with him touched me deeply. He'd sacrificed his holiday in Sun City to visit me and watch me gimp around while I recovered from my surgery.

Edward and I would be traveling back home towards the end of June. Our final two weeks in Botswana would be spent traveling. Edward very much wanted to visit Kutse as well as the Okavango Delta. I wasn't sure that I was up for all of that but how much of it was dependent on the pace of my recovery.

"We could just stay in town and relax? We don't have to do anything if you're not feeling well," Edward said as he rubbed my hand in his.

"No, I want to. I just, I feel a little off since the surgery and I don't want to be in the middle of the bush while I'm like this. I'm scared I'll need medical attention and won't be able to get it in time," I explained feeling rather embarrassed.

I burrowed further into Edward's side. His arm curved around me and held me close to him.

"I understand, love. Maybe you're having some anxiety as a result of your little ordeal. You told me you suffer from anxiety right?"

"Yes. I'm not a mental case I swear."

"Bella, I would never think you're a mental case. I want to help you work through this."

"Anxiety is something I've always had to live with one way or another. I've learned to control it over the years. Right now I'm way out of my element. I'm living in a foreign country and I just had a medical scare that resulted in me undergoing surgery. I feel overwhelmed and the thing is I know it's irrational and an overreaction. I can't help it though. Maybe I need to go back to therapy for a while when we return home. The physical symptoms are no fun."

"What symptoms do you get baby?"

"Well, when I'm having an anxiety attack I feel restless, panicked and my heart beats really fast. My chest feels tight and I feel like I can't breathe. I say feel because it's exactly that, a feeling. It's my mind messing with me expertly. If you can talk, you can breathe. My therapist taught me that. So whenever I feel like that I talk out loud or sing along to a song if I happen to have music playing. If I can do it that means I am, in fact, breathing."

"Have you felt like that while you've been here with me?"

I nodded silently.

"Bella, sweetheart. I wish you'd told me. I don't like thinking of you helpless."

"What is there to say? Besides I can hide it. It's like living in your own personal hell and that hell is the confines of your own mind and body. It's quite frustrating. Especially when an episode can feel like a heart attack, or at least what I assume one would feel like. It...it feels like you're about to die. There is a sense of impending doom. Those are the bad ones, the small anxiety attacks usually center, for me at least, around feeling like I can't breathe and feeling flushed. I can usually calm myself down through distraction."

"Last week you looked a little unwell but I thought nothing of it. You were all smiles and giggles," he mused.

I nodded. "Yup, a coping mechanism. I pretend to be perfectly fine as if somehow that will convince my body to stop pumping me with adrenaline."

"How did I not know any of this? Bella, you should have told me," he berated me.

"Edward, aside from when I fainted in Singita and the episodes the last couple of weeks, I have been symptom free. Besides, I had mentioned my anxiety before."

"I know, I just. I had no idea. I'm going to read up on this. Do you have some books I can borrow?"

I smiled at him. He was so considerate and intellectually curious. Granted I knew his interest in anxiety disorders was stemming from his desire to comprehend and assist me. Having a significant other who took an active interest in something that ails you is unlike any high I had ever experienced.

"I have some books, baby. I'm so touched you want to learn about my crazy mind."

"I love you. Every part of you. I want to learn you inside and out, Bella. I want, I want everything."

I could feel him, all of him, as he pressed himself into me from behind. It had been a while since we had been intimate and I knew that he needed me just as much as I needed him.

I turned around to face him. We were sharing a pillow by this point and our faces were so close that our noses almost touched. I can't remember who initiated the kiss that ignited our passion but I do remember being so in the moment that for a split second I had no coherent thoughts. It was as if I was floating in nothingness. I felt completely relaxed, and as if the entire universe could collapse around us and I would be none the wiser. I momentarily found it amusing that the cheesy overused expressions I often mocked seemed to be proved true when I was with Edward.

Our kissing, although passionate, was unhurried and flowed like a lazy river. As Edward's hands roamed my body I mirrored his movements. Our bodies always fell into their roles with ease. They knew what to do even when our minds and thoughts were jumbled.

It wasn't long before we were both naked. Skin to skin, we moved like the well practiced lovers that we were. I could feel his hard erection against me and I reached down to stroke him with my hand. I had been reading a lot as of late and admittedly some of the material was less than chaste. I had read often that the pre-ejaculate that appeared at the tip was slippery and could be used as lubrication. I had never ventured to put this into practice but as I stroked the tip with my thumb I found evidence of just how turned on Edward was.

I was surprised by the volume of pre-come and I was delighted that it was me who was having this effect on him. As I continued to work him with my hand his fingers began the sublime torture of my most intimate parts.

"Baby, it feels _so_ good when you touch me like that," Edward whispered.

"Mmm, I know, baby. I feel it, too."

"This is great and all, but I want, no, I _need _to be inside you. Please, Bella."

"As if you have to ask," I breathed out as I let go of him.

Edward turned to his side and rummaged through his night table. Because I had been on antibiotics after my surgery we had decided to play it safe and use condoms for the two cycles following the round of antibiotics. I knew were being overzealous but it was a decision I knew neither of us would later come to regret. Pun not intended.

Once I had finished preparing him, he turned his attention back to me and the task at hand. It had been a few weeks since we had last had sex and as a result his entry bordered on exquisite. That first thrust was always the most delicious and I revelled in it every single time. We had gotten to the point where we weren't thinking. We were simply doing, feeling, and enjoying.

I was still a little worried about possibly experiencing discomfort in my abdomen. My mind ruled my body in this way. Edward, being extremely in tune with my needs, had directed our lovemaking into the quiet and calm realm that it needed to be. He hovered above me careful not to put his weight on me. He gently caressed my leg before hitching it over is hip. He rocked into me as he kissed my neck. It was bliss.

We did very little talking that night. I had learned that sometimes the dirty talk, hot as it was, didn't always have a place or simply wasn't needed. That night was about slow and sensual lovemaking. It was about reconnecting physically and meeting our needs while one of us was delicate.

My orgasm left me speechless and drained. All of my stress and anxiety was erased, if only for a short period of time, as I came apart in my lover's arms.

As Edward stilled and rode out his own release I looked up at him in wonder. His face flushed and glistening with perspiration, his hair unruly, and his eyes shut tight in the midst of his ecstasy. It was then that I truly realized I wanted forever with this man, in the most tangible and permanent way possible.

I wasn't sure if he'd ever ask, but I already knew my answer- yes.

**End notes:**

**Anxiety is a dreadful thing. I have always found the anxiety spectrum of mental disorders among the most fascinating to study because it really proves how strong and powerful the mind is. I have suffered from anxiety attacks and I can attest to the fact that they are not fun and they feel like death is looming. Thankfully, I have recovered from that difficult time in my life. If you have questions or just need somebody to talk to about anxiety feel free to drop me a line. I believe mental health issues should not be stigmatized. They should be talked about and understood. **

**I hope everybody is having a wonderful weekend!**

**Until next time,**

**Abby**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

**a/n:**

**Happy Friday! Thank you for reading. Thank you for the reviews, I love them so much. I've messaged back and forth with a couple of you and have enjoyed doing so. You're all such lovely people. **

**Thank you to my beta, EMILY93 without whom this wouldn't be nearly as good as it is. She always diverts praise back to me but she truly makes suggestions that enhance and better the story. Trust me.**

EPOV

I had heard once that there is no such thing as coming home because while you were away things had changed. The sentiment had merit but New Orleans would always be home to me. While I loved Seattle there was just something about New Orleans that had taken residence inside me and was never going to leave.

Perhaps it had something to do with my college days there. I had done a lot of growing up in the Big Easy. I had experienced things, learned things, gained things, almost lost things. It was the city where I fell in love. Possibly for the very first time.

Arriving back in New Orleans was always a rush. I longed to smell the stench of Bourbon Street and the French Quarter. Something about the nasty stale beer smell was comforting. I had missed the chicory of the coffee at Cafe du Monde and the messy beignets. Whereas before I had missed all of that, I now had more to miss. I missed the smell of Bella while we sat on a blanket in Audubon Park. I missed her bed in the middle of the night when neither of us could sleep and so we would sneak snacks into the room leaving a mess of crumbs in our wake. I missed her knocking on my door after a long day and having her fall into my arms as she mumbled and complained about being too tired to read for school. I missed our routine. Our New Orleans routine.

We rounded out our stay in Botswana with lazy days at home. We would sometimes go out and wander around town but for the most part we enjoyed being lazy together. We both caught up on our reading and we even watched a few movies that we had both wanted to see but never gotten around to seeing them in theater.

I found myself lost in thought as I remembered our time away together when Bella finally made a sound. She had been a veritable zombie during our trip back.

"I'm too tired to stand," Bella complained sleepily, covering her mouth with her hand as she yawned.

"I told you to get some sleep before we left," I chided.

"Yes, well I really wanted to finish that book. I figured I'd sleep on the plane. I didn't anticipate being so uncomfortable. I can't believe we weren't able to sit together."

The flight from Johannesburg to Atlanta had been brutal. The flight was filled to capacity and we were unable to obtain seats together. Bella and I were both stuck with middle seats. The worst possible seats on a plane unless you are sitting in between people you know and love. I remember Bella looking back at me almost in tears. She was so frustrated with our sitting arrangements.

Once we made it to Atlanta we had just enough time to run to our gate after we had cleared immigration and customs. Bella and I had conked out as soon as we took our seats which were fortunately next to each other. The flight was not long enough for us to get any good amount of sleep and it was too soon before we were both stretching our necks experimentally after spending a couple of hours in uncomfortable positions.

"I can't wait to see Nessie. I'm sure she was fine with Jake, but still," Bella said excitedly as we waited for a taxi by the curb.

"I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see you, love. You two are peas in a pod."

"Ha! I wish. She's more Jacob's dog sometimes," she mused.

When we finally pulled up to her building I was itching to take a shower and put on some pajamas. That was one aspect of traveling I would never grow to like. That dirty feeling one gets after spending an entire day in close quarters with thousands of strangers. The recycled air of the plane was drying and my skin needed moisture. Bella had offered me some lotion but I had declined it. Having never used it before I wasn't sure I needed it.

"Bella, Edward! Finally. I've been popping out here every few minutes," Jacob said happily as he emerged from the building.

Bella ran up to greet him with a hug.

"I feel like it's been forever Jakey." She gave him a big kiss on his cheek.

"It _has_ been forever. How is life minus an appendix?"

"Wonderful so far. My insides now match Edward's. We are meant to be," she joked.

"You did not just say that. Bella Marie, what has this man done to you?" he said teasingly as he helped me get our luggage out of the car.

"Hey, man," he said offering me his hand.

"What's up, Jake." I gave him a pat on his shoulder. It was a standard male greeting. Full of the awkwardness only Jacob and I could muster.

Bella paid the cab driver who seemed less than amused with the amount of time we were taking. He cheered up once Bella handed him the cash which led me to believe she had tipped him handsomely.

Once inside Nessie practically pounced on Bella. Nearly knocking her over in the process. It was a sight to see. Such a big dog reduced to a puddle of goo by the return of her beloved mistress. She was somewhat happy to see me but I was small potatoes compared to Bella.

Jacob hung out with us for a while and he and Bella spoke animatedly about the recent happenings and goings on in their respective lives. Watching them interact filled me with a sense of calm. They were so very different and yet so much alike. They loved each other fiercely and accepted one another completely. Their was a friendship that had endured a lot of ups and downs but was clearly forged early on in their lives. They just clicked, just like Bella and I clicked. Minus the sex of course.

After sharing a bottle of Cape Town's finest, Jacob quickly excused himself, informing us that he had to be somewhere, leaving Bella and I to our own devices. Both Bella and I glanced at each other knowingly. We didn't need to ask to know who would be waiting for him at this 'somewhere' he had spoken of. Paul.

"It was so nice to catch up with Jake!" Bella gushed. "I love trading stories upon my return from a trip. It's always so invigorating." Bella's eyes shone brightly in spite of the tiredness I knew would inevitably be plaguing her. She hid it well though.

"It's one of my favorite things to do, too. I remember when Alice and I would visit South Africa together. The day we'd arrive home was always so exciting. We would spend hours talking with our parents, filling them in on all our adventures and misadventures. She was always so giddy. For a few hours we were both cured of our fatigue."

"That is exactly how I feel. Although I'm starting to feel a little tired now. The wine hasn't helped either. I feel a combination of tipsiness and drowsiness and don't like it in the slightest."

"Shower and bed for you then, baby. Jacob walked Nessie already so we should be good."

"Oh that Jacob, what would we do without him?" She mused, a smile forming.

Bella took a shower while I unpacked some of our clothes and loaded up the washing machine. I was dead tired but figured things would be easier on the both of us if we got started on our chores right away.

"Edward?" Bella called out from upstairs.

"I'm down here. I'm tossing some clothes in the wash."

"Why are you doing that now, baby? Come up and shower so we can snuggle for a bit."

I smiled at myself. This domestic bliss we had going on was nice. We weren't perfect all the time but we were perfect for each other.

"I'll be up in a minute, love."

After finding something to wear to sleep I took a quick shower before joining Bella in what had to be my favorite bed in the world. Favorite because she was in it and it always smelled like her.

"Mmm, wasn't showering good?" she asked sleepily.

"Definitely. I wish you had joined me." I kissed her softly on her cheek.

"Hmm, that would've led to other things, Edward."

"Would that have been so bad?"

"Never, baby. I'm just too tired to engage in acrobatics."

I snorted at her statement.

"Edward, really. Need I remind you about our anniversary just a few weeks ago?"

I thought back to that day and let out a chuckle. It was almost unbelievable that Bella and I had been together for over a year now. It had been one heck of a journey. Well, admittedly, it hadn't been what other's would call exciting but to the both of us the past year had been beyond memorable.

We celebrated our first year together by cooking, watching movies and making love. It was perfect and just what we both wanted. Bella made me an album with photos of the both of us together and I gave her a recording of my favorite songs performed by me of course. It had been a low key event.

"Refresh my memory," I stated.

"Pervert. You know full well that having sex in the shower requires a lot of maneuvering and endurance. I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of a play by play of our fucking that day but just know that the close call was not fun."

I was slack jawed.

"Our fucking? I do believe you said a naughty word, Isabella," I growled huskily, unexpectedly spurred on by her use of the expletive.

She swallowed thickly. "What...what did you just call me?"

"Isabella. That's your name right?"

"You've never called me that before."

"Sweetheart, are you aroused?"

She scoffed. "Keep dreaming, baby. You aren't getting into my pants that easy. Besides, we're both tired. I'd hazard a guess that you aren't up to performing right about now."

"Challenge accepted."

I rolled over in bed and placed my arms on either side of her, pinning her under me.

"Edward, what are you doing?" she said in a shaky voice.

I trailed my nose from her collar bone up to her lips. "You know exactly what I am doing." I grounded my erection into her at the word 'exactly' thus conveying my intentions.

"But we're tired," she breathed.

"You said I wouldn't be able to perform. I accepted that statement as a challenge. Can you feel how wrong you were?"

It wasn't long before we were naked, writhing and panting. Bella learned not to underestimate my libido. It was a challenge she was glad I accepted and won.

~IC~

BPOV

"Hurry up Jake! We're going to be late if you don't get your ass down here!" I yelled as I put the last of my books into my bag.

School started before I was ready for it and so the first few weeks back were torture. I wasn't used to not seeing Edward every morning. It was difficult but necessary. He had started studying for the LSAT so he spent a fair amount of his time doing that. He had also started working as a music tutor on the side. He had plenty of money and didn't really need to work but Edward wasn't the sort to sit on his behind and have things handed to him.

"My God Bella, it's a stupid elective. Last time I ever take a class with you! You're so annoying."

"Put a sock in it Black or I'll tell Paul you've been checking out chicks," I threatened teasingly.

"You're full of it and you know it. By the way you and Cullen could keep it down."

"Whatever Jake, I know you're bluffing."

"Oh am I? _Oh Edward, right there. Yes, baby I feel you so deep inside me. Make me come. Oh, Edward!_"

His imitation of me was spot on. I couldn't deny that I had in fact said all of that and more. Much more. The mortification set in and the red of my blush rose through me like lava. I could feel the heat radiate off me.

"You heard that? Damn it, Jacob, you're supposed to tune me out or at least not listen in so you can repeat my filth verbatim."

"Whatever, so Cullen knows how to-"

"If you finish that sentence I'm going to blow a fuse."

"You'll blow something alright. But from what I heard last night the only thing you blew was Edward's-"

"JACOB BLACK!" I scolded him in absolute horror.

"Okay, okay. I'll shut up now," he chortled, exceptionally amused and pleased with himself.

"Thank you."

The ride to Tulane was quiet as Jacob caught on to the fact that talk about my sex life was off the table. I made a mental note to only have sex at Edward's from now on.

~IC~

"Rosalie it's beautiful! You did not do it justice in your email," I said as I admired her engagement ring.

"Isn't it just perfectly her?" Alice asked enthusiastically.

"It sure is. So spill, how did he propose?" I enquired.

The three of us were chatting over Skype. Alice and Rosalie were at the boutique in Seattle.

Rosalie recounted the dinner and a movie that resulted in Emmett getting down on one knee in the middle of the sidewalk as they discussed the merits of thread counts. It was a sweet and funny story. It was so very them.

"Oh, Rosalie I'm so very happy for you. Truly. Congratulations again. I'm honored that you'd share this with me," I said sincerely.

"Bella, as far as Alice and I are concerned you're practically family. We might not get to see you often but we love you like one of our own."

"It's true, Bella. My brother is lucky to have found you. You're a great addition to the Cullen clan," Alice added.

"Thank you, it means a lot to me."

"Rose, are you going to continue to stare at your ring?" Alice teased. She gave Rosalie a playful nudge as she sat transfixed by the shiny object that now adorned her hand.

"It's just so pretty. What do you think, Bella?" She raised her left hand towards the camera.

"It's absolutely perfect for you," I offered.

"Not your style?" Rosalie asked smiling.

I shrugged. "I guess I'm not a traditional sort of girl. I love rings and diamonds but the solitaire is just not something I envision for myself. It seems too refined, and I'm not."

"I'll be sure to tell Edward," Alice said quietly.

"Don't you dare, Alice! You'll do no such thing. I don't want to scare him off thinking I spend my spare time gazing at potential engagement rings. I'd hate for Edward to think I'm jumping at the chance to get married. It's the biggest cliché. Women wanting to get married too soon and men running for the hills."

"Edward is not like that," Rosalie began, "He is a traditionalist. He believes in family, marriage, the whole package. I always thought he'd marry young. I lost hope for a while but then you came along."

"You think I'm the one?" I asked incredulously.

They both looked straight at me and nodded.

"I wish that meant something but we all know it's up to him. Well, us but him mostly. Unless I propose to him," I surmised.

"So you _do _want to marry him!" Alice exclaimed, clapping her hands excitedly at the discovery she had just made.

Rosalie looked just as giddy as she nodded her head in agreement with Alice's statement.

"This feels wrong. Edward and I have not really discussed this and now I'm talking to his sister and soon to be sister-in-law about marrying him. I shudder to think what he'd make of this conversation, which by the way is feeling a little too much like therapy. I'm going to go for a walk. You two have given me something to ponder."

"I hope you're not upset with us. We love you," Rosalie cooed.

"I love you too," I said.

"Bye, Bella."

"Bye."

I clicked the end button and closed the lid to my laptop. I was feeling a little anxious. I wasn't sure if it was the prospect of marriage itself or the fact that I wasn't one hundred per cent sure that Edward wanted forever with me. It was not the sort of commitment one took lightly and for a long time I had considered marriage out of the question. However, I now saw things differently. I was young, perhaps too young in some people's eyes, but I felt ready. I was absolutely certain about my commitment to Edward. It was irrevocable and absolute.

The front door as well as Nessie's eager pacing alerted me that Edward had arrived. His footsteps became louder as he made his way up the stairs.

"Hello, Clarice," he said in his best Hannibal Lecter impersonation.

"You're such a weirdo," I laughed as I kissed his jaw.

"How was your day?"

"It was good, how was yours?"

"Productive. I think I found a renter for my apartment. Once I get packed up all I have to do is move in with a certain lady friend slash lover."

"Hmm," I said tapping my index finger on my chin. "I wonder who that could be."

"She's the love of my life," he whispered into my ear.

I smiled brightly. "I love you, too."

I told him about my chat with Rosalie and Alice, skipping right over the part where we talked about the two of us getting married.

"I can't believe Emmett is finally getting married. I've been waiting for this day to come for a while," Edward mused.

"Aren't you the hopeless romantic?"

"I'm all romance, baby. Need me to refresh your memory?"

"I remember quite well. Do you want to help me prepare dinner?"

"Lead the way, m'lady," he said, opting for an 18th Century posh British accent. It seemed he was in a very good mood tonight.

We made a simple Caesar salad using left over chicken from the night before. It was a quick meal that didn't require much preparation or clean up. It was perfect for a weeknight.

"Your birthday is coming up again," Edward said in what sounded like a weird tone to me.

"Same date every year, Edward," I replied a little icily.

"You're still on about hating your birthday? Baby, please don't be like that."

"I'm sorry. You need to respect that I don't like to celebrate my birthday. Last year was a disaster and I'd rather not have anything planned. I really loathe celebrating my birthday."

"All right, we sort of pushed the whole party thing on you last time. Will you at least let me take you to dinner? I promise to keep it simple."

I couldn't say no. I knew that I was a little unreasonable and silly with my attitude against celebrating my birthday. My aversion to being the center of attention was strong. I especially disliked the singing part. I never knew what to do. Stand there with a silly smile as people serenaded me with their awful singing? My hands, I never knew what to do with them. I seldom felt more awkward as I did when I was at the center of a questionable rendition of "Happy Birthday".

"Dinner, just us," I finally relented.

"I knew you'd cave." He grinned, stalking towards me.

~IC~

I had arrived at Bella's a few minutes before I was due. The downstairs was deserted but I could hear the faint mumbling that told me that she was upstairs on the phone.

I made my way up as I normally did but once I got close to her room I realized that she wasn't on the phone. She was on Skype with Alice and Rose. I was about to walk in on them when I heard something that stopped me in my tracks.

"I guess I'm not a traditional sort of girl. I love rings and diamonds but the solitaire is just not something I envision for myself. It seems too refined, and I'm not," Bella said offhandedly. She sounded almost embarrassed.

I knew I was overstepping by eavesdropping and this would be my second infraction. I recalled the journal entry I had read while we were in Botswana and I winced at the memory. I had yet to come clean about that.

My brief foray into my own psyche had caused me to miss something that was said for I heard Bella raise her voice.

"Don't you dare, Alice! You'll do no such thing. I don't want to scare him off thinking I spend my spare time gazing at potential engagement rings. I'd hate for Edward to think I'm jumping at the chance to get married. It's the biggest cliché. Women wanting to get married too soon and men running for the hills."

"Edward is not like that," Rosalie said calmly. "He is a traditionalist. He believes in family, marriage, the whole package. I always thought he'd marry young. I lost hope for a while but then you came along."

I was shocked. I had definitely heard too much and I knew that Bella would sooner die than have me be privy to her girl talk. She was distracted enough where I knew she wouldn't hear my retreat. I was also flabbergasted at Rose's kind words about me.

I had always found that the words that people spoke about you behind your back to be the most telling. People are nice and polite to your face. What they think of you for real is not often disclosed.

The most important and vital piece of information was that Bella wanted marriage. She wanted to marry me. She doubted my own feelings but I would be curing her of that very soon.

I stealthily made my way downstairs and back towards the door, thankful that Nessie seemed to be napping in Jake's room. I quietly shut the front door and walked away thinking I had just committed my last act of deceit towards Bella.

"I'm sorry, love. All is fair in love and war," I said to myself as I walked down the street.

I had no destination and so I walked giddily as I calculated my possible course of action. I decided I would ask her to marry me during Christmas break. If all went well Bella would say yes and we would make love in celebration. The next day we would tell the family. They would be thrilled.

If I had it my way we would marry the following summer after Bella graduated. I wasn't sure if she would think it too short a time to plan a wedding and having never been involved in the planning of one I had no idea how much time was needed. I knew that Bella was into low key and simple. I was hoping this would mean that a summer wedding was on the cards.

I only walked around for about ten minutes before returning to Bella's apartment.

"Of course I caved," Bella said in a tone that was much more pleasant than I had anticipated.

"Baby, I don't mean to give you a hard time. Your being alive is something to celebrate."

"You're so sweet. That's why I love you."

"I know it's early but I was wondering if we could discuss our plans for Christmas."

She looked puzzled for a moment but nodded.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked carefully.

"Seattle again. Your dad has already said he would come."

She rolled her eyes at me. It had become customary and I found it hilarious.

"You have become quite comfortable with my dad. I never thought I'd see the day."

"You exaggerate. While I will admit that he intimidated me and still does, I always knew we'd get along. We both love you."

She smiled and laced her fingers with mine. She was still sitting at her desk and I was squatting in front of her.

"Seattle sounds perfect. We should look at tickets soon, before they get too expensive."

"I'll take care of them."

She made to protest but I kissed her, silencing her instead.

~IC~

I made my way through the crowd and into Bella's arms.

"You were amazing," she whispered in my ear. I had wrapped my arms around her and lifted her off the ground. We kissed briefly before I set her down again.

"The best part is walking off stage and into your arms. I barely remember the set now. Is that weird?"

"No, baby. Not weird at all. When you're up there singing I forget where I am. All I can see and hear is you."

I swelled with pride. Her appreciation of my music was the only thing that mattered. It was great that other people enjoyed it but there was something about the woman you loved swooning over your voice.

"Happy Birthday, Bella."

"Thank you for the best birthday ever."

I had kept my word and taken her for a simple meal at Port of Call. It was a dive that served burgers and baked potatoes. We had sat at the bar and drank Monsoons while we ate. My gift to her had been a little book of classic poems.

"Expect more of these, beautiful."

"Hmm," she said and I could feel her smiling against my cheek. "Take me home and ravish me."

I was only too happy to oblige. I loved it when she got a little tipsy and was all over me.

"Let's go catch a cab." I tucked her under my arm and led her outside. I carried my guitar case with my free hand.

When we arrived home we were both surprised to find Jacob and Paul waiting for us.

"Bella!" Paul exclaimed as we walked inside.

"Paul, what's going on?" she asked playfully.

"Jake and I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and present you with some cupcakes. We're totally getting out of your hair in just a few." He turned his attention to me and offered me his hand. "Hey, man, what's up?"

"Everything is great. What are you two up to?" I asked.

"Well, after being made to bake Jacob promised me some drinks so we're off to do that."

"Hey, hey, hey. Why didn't you tell me that our guest of honor had arrived?" Jacob said as he walked out of the laundry room.

"Jakey, what are you doing?" Bella inquired.

"Just some laundry, what else could I be doing birthday girl?"

He pulled her in for a hug and kissed her cheek.

"Happy Birthday, Bella. There are some cupcakes in the kitchen."

"Paul told us about them. Thanks guys. You didn't have to but we will be sure to scarf them down, so thanks."

We spent a few more minutes chit chatting before Jacob and Paul left. We had the apartment to ourselves and we made sure to take advantage of that.

~IC~

A few days after Thanksgiving I was still in a turkey haze when Bella asked, "Why did you book us flights to New York? I thought we were going straight to Seattle."

"We are," I lied. "We're just making a tiny stop on the way. I meant to tell you but forgot." I had lied again. I had not meant to tell her at all but had forgotten about that when she had asked me to forward her our itinerary in an e-mail. I internally cringed at my mistake.

"Who goes to Seattle by way of New York?" she pondered aloud.

We do, my sweet, because it's the place I saw you for the first time and will be the place where you will promise to be mine for the rest of our lives. My thoughts had taken on the voice of a possessive madman, and for her I wholeheartedly was.

**End notes:**

**I think we all know where this is headed... I'm excited for him to pop the question!**

**I've seen some creative proposals. Do you have any you'd like to share?**

**The story is winding down now. Only three more chapters and a possible epilogue left. **

**Until next time, **

**Abby**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

EPOV

"You look queasy baby. Are you feeling ill?" Bella asked.

I didn't know how to answer her. My stomach rolled and I breathed in deeply though my nose. I was trying my hardest to remain composed. With only twenty minutes until we landed at JFK I was getting closer to proposing. At thirty-five thousand feet my idea to fly to JFK just so that I could propose to her where we'd met seemed stupid.

"I'm fine, love. Just a little air sick I guess." I shrugged, hoping my little white lie wouldn't be too transparent and would hold out till we had landed and were at a complete standstill. I prayed being back on solid ground would calm my uneasy stomach.

"Air sick? You've never complained of that before. Edward, I don't like this. You're acting strange." She was not accusing me, she was simply stating a fact.

I closed my eyes and focused on relaxing. I had turned into a ball of nerves the moment the pilot announced our descent.

Bella gently grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. The gesture was meant to be soothing but it only caused my heart to beat faster.

Once we landed I became more focused and clear headed. This was Bella and I had nothing to prove to her. She loved me just as much as I loved her. We were meant to be. The proposal was a mere formality.

"Edward, the line is moving," Bella said as she nudged me gently from behind. I picked up my bag and walked quickly down the aisle.

"Thank you for flying with us, Sir," said the flight attendant who was manning the door.

I gave her a nod and a smile not trusting my voice at that particular moment.

I was lost in thought and was apparently walking briskly for Bella was huffing and puffing a little behind me.

"Jeez, Edward slow down please. It was your brilliant idea to have a lay over in New York and now you're worried we won't make our next flight? I'll have you know we have plenty of time." She was out of breath and her cheeks were flushed with exertion. Her bag must have been heavier than I first thought.

"I'm sorry, I just really need to use the bathroom," I said. Even to me that sounded like a lame excuse. I was definitely not on my name.

Bella raised and eyebrow at me questioningly but continued to say nothing. I silently thanked her for opting out of giving me the Spanish Inquisition.

We leisurely meandered through the crowds until we reached our gate.

"I'll be right back," I said before heading for the nearest restroom.

I washed my hands and splashed water on my face. I proceeded to stand in front of the mirror for a few moments before tearing off a piece of paper towel and drying my hands and blotting my face. I pulled the box out of my pocket, opened it and pulled out the ring.

I looked at it for a moment before placing each object in opposite pockets. I briefly considered calling my parents for support but the last thing I needed was my mom's overly eager squeals temporarily deafening me. I quite liked the luxury of hearing Bella accept my proposal.

I returned to where I had left Bella, she had sat herself down and was digging through her bag. She was muttering to herself and I presumed that she was most likely rummaging for something she accidentally left at home. I was in front of her and kneeling before I knew it.

She paid me no mind though and continued in her haunched over position, her hair a curtain over her face. I reached out and placed one hand over hers.

"Bella, what are you looking for?" I enquired, requiring her full attention.

She looked up, her eyes were full of surprise. "My chapstick. I can't find it anywhere. I guess I'll have to buy a new one." Her smile widened. "I guess I'll have to go to Hudson News," she said coyly and it did not escape me that she was referencing the time we first met and how she had scurried off to that precise store to scope out decent reading material.

I remained kneeling in front of her, my hand still sitting atop of hers.

"Bella, we met here over a year ago. Well, not here, per se, as we are not departing internationally, but here at JFK. It was a random meeting to be sure but I've come to realize that perhaps it wasn't so random after all. We were meant to meet here and you were meant to be careless on that trip so as to lose everything that would've allowed you to complete your trip and caused you to seek my help. You've never been so careless since, and this just tells me that there were bigger forces at work. I believe it was fate, sweetheart."

"Oh, baby. I believe that, too," she said softly, nodding in agreement.

"Isabella, will you do me the extraordinary honor..." I trailed off having suddenly become light headed.

Bella remained silent and motionless and I noticed we had attracted an audience of fascinated and quiet individuals.

I swallowed before making a second attempt at asking the love of my life to dedicate spending the rest of her life by my side. As my wife.

"Bella, I love you more than I can say, more than I can _show_. Will you marry me?"

She did not hesitate for a single second. She slipped off her seat and joined me on the floor, kneeling before me.

"Yes, Edward Anthony Cullen. Yes! Of course I'll marry you. Nothing would make me happier." She wrapped her arms around me and in a moment that was straight out of a movie, kissed me like there was no tomorrow.

A few people clapped, some oohed and ahhed, making sounds of thorough approval while others snapped pictures. I hoped I could bother them to send them to me.

"I love you so much, Edward. I knew there was a reason you wanted to come to New York. For a lay over of all things. I never imagined this though," she whispered into my ear.

As we hugged and swayed together I remembered the ring.

"Oh, the ring! How could I forget? Here, beautiful," I said as I reached down into my pocket.

I pulled out the ring and tenderly laid her left hand in mine as I gently slid it onto her ring finger, my eyes never leaving hers.

"It's exquisite. I love it. Edward, it's perfect."

"No, my sweet, it is you who is perfect." I declared.

She blushed scarlet at my statement. "You're such a hopeless romantic Edward. I love it. I love you!" She leaned forward, raising up off her knees to press a soft kiss to my lips which I happily returned.

"I'm sure it's not a good time to confess that I overheard you talking to Alice and Rose about rings. Baby I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to pry. It just sort of happened and I knew that I could never get you something I knew you wouldn't love. The three stones, and this is going to sound cheesy, represent our past, present and future. As for the blue, well... The color blue is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, wisdom, loyalty and confidence. It's how I see you. It's who you are to me and to those lucky enough to know you."

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"I'm glad you heard me but more than that, I'm touched you'd confess to hearing my conversation. You're kinda funny," she said sniffling.

"You're not mad?" I hesitated to ask.

"Of course not, Edward. You didn't mean to overhear. Besides, I would've done the same thing had it been the other way around."

I smiled brightly before picking myself up off the floor and held my hand out for Bella, pulling her up with ease. My knees were protesting my lengthy abuse of them.

"We're engaged," Bella said with what sounded like disbelief. She looked a little out of it, so blissed out that she looked far away.

We sat down hand in hand. Her left hand was in mine and I couldn't help but rub her ring finger with my thumb.

"What sort of wedding should we have?" she asked.

"I've never given it much thought but I've always liked the laid back atmosphere of an outdoor wedding. Casual elegance, nothing over the top."

"That's funny because I've considered an outdoor wedding too. Involving lots of lights and candles. Oh, Edward, I've no idea how to plan a wedding!"

I kissed her forehead. "I've no idea either but we'll figure it out together. Besides, we know the basics. We just have to decide what we want to do and go with that. I can't wait to tell my parents."

"Parents, Edward. Charlie might flip out." She cringed.

"Why would he flip out? He gave me his blessing," I said matter-of-factly.

Bella's lip quivered ever so slightly. "You talked to my dad? When did you do that?"

"A while ago, but I called him earlier this week and told him of my plans."

"That must have meant so much to him, baby. Thank you. I'm not one for tradition and I certainly don't believe women should be traded like their property, but for some reason it means so much to me that you'd ask my dad and that he approves."

Her eyes could no longer contain the tears and they silently, almost joyously, trailed down her face.

~IC~

BPOV

Our friends and family were overjoyed by the news of our engagement. I received lots of hugs and best wishes, while Edward received pats on the back and congratulations. I had been on cloud nine and was in a constant state of elation.

Christmas had been a wonderful time for all of us as we all had much to celebrate. My dad surprised me by arranging for my mom and Phil to join us for a couple of days. I had broken down in tears when I saw her. She was a huge part of my life but for the most part remained in the background of it all. We didn't get to see each other as much as I'd prefer but she was a constant source of advice and support nonetheless. As I had gotten older our relationship had shifted and she was no longer the scatterbrained mother who could barely care for her child. We were equals now and I think that we both knew this fact.

We all stayed with the Cullens until the new year and it was with a happy heart that Edward and I returned to New Orleans.

The trip home was spent in giddy discussion about our future.

"Where do you see yourself living long term?" Edward asked as we took our seats on the plane.

"I've never given much thought to moving. I love New Orleans and now that my dad bought the apartment I feel as if I've set roots there. However, that was before, now I'm thinking about you and law school. We can't limit your choices based on where I want to live. It's a decision _we_ make together, on what is best for _us_, not just for myself. We can live anywhere and then return to New Orleans. Maybe Paul and Jacob can rent the apartment together. I've been tossing some ideas around."

"I've thought about applying to Tulane. It's a good program and to be honest, I don't want to leave New Orleans. I think of it as home. What about you, what do you plan on doing after you graduate?"

I pondered his question for a moment. I hadn't really considered my plans for after graduation. I hoped to get a job and perhaps go for a graduate degree further down the line but my thoughts on the topic had been vague at best. Additionally, my thoughts before had not included the possibility of marriage. Perhaps Edward and I would want to start trying for a baby right away. Part of me did not think either of us were inclined to go through a pregnancy while Edward was in law school but the mere thought of making a baby had me blushing.

"Bella, what's got you red in the face?" Edward asked. His eyes searched my face for clues as he tried to hide his smile.

"I was just thinking," I said by way of explanation.

"Care to elaborate?"

I knew it would be pointless to try to get him off my case.

"Don't freak out okay? These are just fleeting thoughts."

He raised an eyebrow at me and took my hand in his. A gesture that I knew indicated that I was to get on with it and divulge my thoughts.

"Babies," I stated simply.

"Babies," Edward repeated.

"I was thinking that what I do after I graduate will depend on what we decide to do as a couple. I've been thinking that we might marry this coming summer after I graduate. After that I could get a job, maybe teaching or something of the equivalent. But maybe...Maybe we decide to start a family right away. An unlikely choice given that I don't expect we'll be financially stable at the time but I'm not against the idea either."

My statement was punctuated by the announcement that we would be taking off shortly.

"Once we're in the air we'll continue this conversation." He kissed my forehead and then turned to look out the window. He always did so whenever a plane was taking off. I found his childlike wonder sweet.

My mind drifted to wedding dresses and invitations. I was excited to get married to Edward but I was not looking forward to the intricate fuss that most weddings turned into. I did not have concrete ideas about what I would wear or what I wanted anything to look like. All I knew is that I wanted an outdoor reception.

"So about what you said. Bella, I can't wait to make a baby with you. I've pictured it already, what you will look like pregnant and I have to admit that it's an image that warms my heart and turns me on. Having said that, I agree that getting pregnant while I'm in law school and being that our financial footing probably won't be very solid, I suppose us conceiving children sooner rather than later is not a good idea. For now at least, sweetheart."

"I completely agree. I'm sorry to get all heavy with things but I can't help it. My mind just starts going and I'm excited about our life together."

"The heavy is all part of it. I'm glad we are able to discuss things so candidly. What do you think about a June wedding?"

"I think I would love a June wedding."

~IC~

"Tell me everything, Bella. I feel out of the loop. You go away for Christmas and you come back engaged," Jacob said after giving me a hug.

Edward had gone back to his apartment in order to check it out and make sure everything was in order. We had been back for almost two weeks and he hadn't set foot in his apartment until today. His plan was to stay there for a few hours and study for the LSAT.

The renter he had lined up fell through which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Edward needed to hit the books hard in the coming weeks and his apartment afforded him a quiet place to study at all hours of the night. He said it helped him to get away from everything as he was able to really focus on studying without distractions. Jacob, Paul and I could definitely distract him. We all tried to keep quiet while studying was going on but Edward didn't want to associate our apartment with tedious work. He said he wanted home to be a place of rest and relaxation. I was happy that he had found a good place to work.

"You know everything, Jake. I told you when I got back."

"I know but this is the first time we have the time to ourselves. Paul and Edward aren't here, we can gossip like old ladies at bingo." He grinned like a big kid.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You really are insufferable."

"I'll get us some drinks." He winked before getting up and heading into the kitchen.

I sat on the couch and picked up a magazine. I had just under five months before the wedding and I was worried about planning all the details. Rose had been a huge help already. She and Emmett would be getting married in December and although she had plenty of time to prepare she had already made a lot of headway. I was grateful to have a friend who was going through the process of planning a wedding as it made it more fun. Edward had been a good sport thus far and had helped me pick out various things that I had looked at since getting engaged.

Jacob came back with two champagne flutes and a bucket of ice.

"It's not even noon, Jacob," I chastised.

He shrugged as he popped the cork and began to pour. "It's Sunday, Bella. Think of it as a mimosa. You have those at brunch right?"

"Where's the orange juice?"

"We ran out so just imagine it there instead."

"I suppose I can always go with the cliché that it's twelve o'clock somewhere."

"Precisely. Now, spill it. I want details. Are you pregnant?"

Had this been a shocking question I might have spit out my champagne. However, this was Jacob and he had a knack for saying outrageous and idiotic things.

"We both know that I am not. Are you not happy for me? What do you have against Edward?"

Jacob straighted up and put down his champagne. Whereas he had looked relaxed a few moments before he was now serious.

"Shit, Bella. I was kidding. I'm fucking thrilled that you and Edward are tying the knot. You are both good for each other. I'm sorry if what I said made you feel defensive. I guess I'm feeling a little sad that our time has come to an end. Once you are married you can't have roommates. You'll be too adult for that." He chuckled at his last statement.

"I'm sorry. I knew you were kidding about the being pregnant thing," I mumbled.

"Then why the defensive stance? Who has questioned your relationship?"

I looked down at my lap, paying with the rim of my glass as I did so. My answer was barely a whisper, "Nobody."

"The only person who has ever questioned what you have with Edward is you. Be happy, let yourself enjoy this. Stop letting your mind run away with you at every turn and for the love of God please let us know when you're feeling some anxiety. I've seen you have mini episodes since you've been back."

I looked at him wide eyed. I felt embarrassed and guilty but I was feeling mostly shocked at Jacob calling me out on it.

"It's nothing, Jake. I'm fine." I nodded in an attempt to make it final.

"No you're not. I see your breathing get shallow and your face heat up. The looks of sheer terror as you make your way to the bathroom to wait out your attack. Edward notices, too. You're anxious about the changes coming your way. That's normal. You just struggle a little."

I ran a hand through my hair. I was feeling deflated, tired of warring this battle against the psychosomatic symptoms of my anxiety.

"You're right. I am stressed out. I'm graduating soon and then I'll be getting married. I've no idea what I'll be doing afterwards and the the prospect of being in limbo scares the crap out of me. I feel out of control and I don't like it."

Jacob topped off our glasses and took a small sip of champagne.

"You're not alone. We all have doubts, questions, fears, neuroses. It's part of life. Now you've struggled with anxiety for a while and you've had it under control pretty much but you need help now. Talking helps you. We both know this. Talk to me, talk to Edward, or talk to a therapist even. You need to take charge, Bella. You can't let this cripple you."

I considered his words for a moment. I knew he was right. I needed to admit that I had a problem again and I needed to let Edward in on that fact. I was trying to be considerate of his studies but knew deep down that he would be upset with me for keeping my problems to myself. I was already experiencing symptoms while in class and had to leave campus on more than one occasion since classes began. I had managed to keep this from Edward and Jacob but it was evident that they both knew something was up.

"I'll make an appointment to see a counselor. Getting things out will help. I'll talk to Edward too. You're right on all points. I need to hike up my skirt and deal with my shit. I'm getting married, I'm graduating college. I should be thrilled, not scared out of my mind."

"I'll drink to that," Jacob said before lifting his glass and bringing it to his lips.

We finished the bottle of champagne before making crepes. I felt lighter, the tightness in my chest almost gone. I was extremely thankful to have Jacob in my life. Having true friends that know you intimately and are willing to put a mirror up to your face right when you need to take a good, hard look at yourself is one of life's biggest blessings.

~IC~

After making a mess in the kitchen, eating delicious crepes and later cleaning said mess I was exhausted and a little buzzed from our champagne indulgence. We polished off a second bottle with our meal. It was around two thirty in the afternoon when I decided to take a little nap. I made my way up the stairs with Nessie hot on my tail. She had spent the entire meal making puppy eyes at us while we ate. We refused her any table scraps save for the raspberry that rolled off my plate and onto the floor. She gobbled it up before I had time to react.

I got into bed and fell asleep soon after.

Hours later I felt warm arms wrapped around me and felt soft kisses on my face and neck.

"Hey, baby. How did your studying go?" I asked after clearing my throat.

"Splendid. I'm feeling really good about it."

"Mmm. That's good. Are you hungry?"

"Nah. I snacked while I studied. Did you and Jacob really drink two bottles of champagne?"

I laughed. "Yeah. How did you know?"

"I went to throw an empty water bottle in the recycling bin and couldn't help but notice."

"You're a super sleuth," I said teasingly.

"Are you still a little buzzed?"

I took inventory of my body trying to determine if I was still feeling the champagne or if I was just drowsy. "Definitely still a little buzzed."

"Great. Well, mind if I take advantage of a lady in your condition?" he asked as he stood from the bed and began to undo his pants.

I giggled as I took off my own clothes and lifted the blankets up enough for him to join me under them.

As we made love I let all thoughts of the future escape my mind. In that moment I was no longer feeling all the worry I had become a slave to. I was living in the present.

a/n:

It feels to me as if it's been ages since I last updated. I'm sorry about the wait although I sincerely doubt anybody besides me keeps track :) My dog has been very sick and so I have been preoccupied with him and found very little time to write. I'm happy to say that he's doing much better and we hope that he makes a full recovery.

We don't have much more to go in this story. Perhaps a chapter or two and an epilogue.

Thank you for reading and thank you to those of you who are kind enough to leave a review. I really appreciate them.

My beta and friend EMILY93 is such a cheerleader. She loved this story before I asked her to beta and loves it still. She's so much fun and disapproves wholeheartedly of tongue lashings. I feel much the same ;)

Honeymoon ideas would be appreciated!

Until next time,

Abby


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

BPOV

"Hello, Bella. I'm Dr. De Armas. Please come in."

"Hi. Thank you."

I followed her through the door and down a small hallway. Her office was quaint and I felt instantly at home as she motioned for me to sit on her plush couch.

"All right. Now, tell me what brings you here today?" Her voice was friendly and sincere. I had questioned making an appointment but was quickly learning that it had been the right choice.

"Um," I was rubbing my hands together in an awkward manner, feeling very silly for finding it so difficult to speak about troubles that were plaguing my life. If I couldn't open up and talk to a therapist - an individual in a profession that deals with such cases everyday and understands - then _who_ could I talk to? "…Well I've been suffering from anxiety. Panic attacks to be more precise and they're starting to interfere with my life."

"Could you tell me a little about your symptoms? I'd also like some details about your history with anxiety. From your intake sheet I see that you've sought treatment before." I was surprised by how comfortable Dr. De Armas had me feeling. I automatically noted myself relaxing in her company and my previously active hands were now still in my lap.

"Certainly. I usually feel a little light headed and I feel as though I cannot breathe. Of course, I've learned that if you can talk you can breathe so I know that I am breathing. It just _feels_ like I can't. It's rather frightening. I also experience chest pain, like as if I'm having a heart attack. It's weird. It normally doesn't last long but it's a horrid sensation and as soon as I feel it I quickly convince myself that I'm about to die. I practically feel the adrenaline shooting through me."

Dr. De Armas was quiet as I spoke and would occasionally nod or scrawl down quick notes in her pad.

"Have you been checked out by a physician to rule out any biological causes?"

"Yes. About three years ago I ended up going to the emergency room when my heart rate wouldn't come down. They clocked it at 160 beats per minute. They ran every test possible and found nothing wrong with my heart."

"Is that when you started seeing your first therapist?"

"Yes."

"Did you find that therapy helped?"

"It was very helpful. I learned to control my thoughts, my mind, and by default, my symptoms."

I went on to recount how I slowly started to spiral down into the rabbit hole of anxiety once more. My first major episode had been when I passed out in Singita. She nodded solemnly and made few notations. I felt as though I had her complete and undivided attention. Once I had caught her up she checked her watch before announcing that we only had fifteen minutes left but that she was confident we would be able to work together to get me back on track. I smiled from relief and happiness.

"You're no stranger to how this works, Bella. From the sound of things you're an extremely bright young woman who is facing some life changing milestones. You tend to over think things and you let thoughts of doom and fear control you. Your body is on high alert and when your fight or flight response kicks in you panic, therefore prolonging it."

"You mean because my adrenal glands secrete adrenaline and by panicking I cause more to be released and therefore perpetuate the cycle?"

"Precisely. I'm going to go over some relaxation exercises with you. We'll start by managing your attacks while we work on the cognitive. You need some quick draw tools in order to curb the symptoms. I also want you to get a full physical. I want to make sure there aren't any underlying health concerns. Oh and, Bella? A pregnancy at this point would not be advised. Let's get your anxiety under control before we drop a baby into the mix."

We went over a few breathing exercises before making an appointment to see each other again in two days.

I left her office feeling countless pounds lighter.

~IC~

When I arrived home the apartment was quiet. I was surprised that Nessie didn't come out to greet me. I flicked on the kitchen light and set down my bag on the kitchen counter. I pulled out my phone and dialed Edward's number.

"Hey, love. How was your appointment?" He sounded groggy and tired. I felt so sorry for him. I imagined he had been reading and working all day.

"It was great. I feel really good about this. Dr. De Armas and I mesh well."

"I thought you would. From what Angela said she sounded like a good fit."

I looked around my apartment, inspecting as I asked "do you know where Nessie is?"

"Jacob took her to Paul's. They got a puppy and are using her to socialize it."

"A puppy!" I exclaimed excitedly. I thought Jacob was just saying that. I never thought they'd go through with it. Oh, this is so exciting." I grinned to myself.

I heard Edward chuckle. "Let's be sure to meet this puppy before you give yourself an aneurysm."

"Very funny. So you take the LSAT day after tomorrow, correct?"

"Yes. Tonight was my last night of studying. I'll be spending all day in bed with you tomorrow. I'm beat. I need to get some good sleep before I attempt this test."

"I know you'll do great, baby. You killed that practice test last week. Had I not known any better I would've thought you cheated."

"I'll be over in thirty minutes. What did you want to do for dinner?"

"Did you want to pick something up from Whole Foods? I could go for their mac and cheese."

"Sure. I'll call you when I'm outside."

After ending the call I quickly ran upstairs for a shower. I wanted to freshen up before dinner as I was pretty sure that Edward wouldn't leave me much time for mundane things such as showers. I made sure to shave and trim as best I could in the short amount of time I had allotted. When dressing I picked out some lacy underwear that I knew was sure to get a rise out of Edward, quite literally. I giggled at my silly musings. I truly believed that laughing at yourself was a sign of a well adjusted person.

Twenty minutes after I had rushed upstairs I was already making my way back down to wait for Edward's call.

I busied myself with my mail while I waited. My cellphone broke through the silence and gave me a jolt.

I looked at the caller ID before answering. "Jacob, you've kidnapped my dog."

"Can we keep her for the night please?"

"Only if I can come over and play with the puppy while Edward is taking the LSAT." I bartered.

"That works out perfect. Paul and I both work that day. It will be great to have somebody here puppy sitting."

"I believe we have ourselves a deal."

"Indeed we do. Pleasure doing business with you Miss Swan."

"Likewise, Mr. Black. I've got to go. I've another call. Bye."

I clicked over to the other call before Jacob had a chance to respond. I figured he'd understand.

"Are you here?" I asked a little breathlessly.

"Your chariot awaits."

"You're funny. I'll be right down."

Edward gave me a curious look as I got into the car. I kissed him on the cheek as I buckled my seat belt.

"What were you doing in there? You sounded out of breath just now."

"Oh you know, the usual. Getting off."

I thought his eyes would pop right out of their sockets. He gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"Y-you, you do that a lot?" He practically stammered.

I shrugged. "Sometimes. When the mood strikes."

"Do you think about me? Do you think about us?" His voice was hoarse and dripping with lust.

"Mostly. Sometimes I just don't think at all. I focus on the pleasure."

"Oh my God, Bella. I don't think I can make it to Whole Foods."

"Oh, Edward. You're so gullible. I wasn't doing _that_! I was just running around grabbing my purse and keys."

He looked positively deflated. Disappointment oozed from every pore. I felt a little bad for toying with him like that.

"So you don't," he said sadly.

"I didn't say that I don't. I said I wasn't right now."

Needless to say I had to run out into Whole Foods by myself as Edward was in no condition to be seen in public. Our food had long since gotten cold once we finally ate later that night.

"Is it warm enough?" I asked him as he tucked into a plate of macaroni and cheese.

He chewed quickly and swallowed before answering, "It's perfect. Really good, too. This stuff reheats really well."

I scooped out some more from the cardboard container and heaped it onto my own plate. I was starving.

"I wasn't planning on reheating our food but since you managed to derail our plans I guess it works out that it's still good."

Edward set down his fork and took a sip of his beer. "Don't pin this on me. You're the one who got me all hot and bothered."

I chuckled, pressing the start button on the microwave as I did so.

"All right I did. I'd say we both enjoyed it."

"The nap right afterwards wasn't bad either."

By the time we finished eating it was well past midnight. I was glad that I didn't have class the next day as I didn't think I'd be able to make it through the day with little sleep.

We fell into bed completely exhausted but content.

"Thank you for tonight, Bella." He snuggled up to me and tucked me into his chest.

I wasn't sure what he was thanking me for. I hadn't done anything special. It had been a fairly ordinary evening for us. He was asleep by the time I thought to say anything back so I continued pondering his declaration of gratitude. It was nice to hear your partner thank you and acknowledge you but I was perplexed by Edward being thankful for me just being me. As I thought about it further I couldn't help but smile. I knew deep down that Edward was just happy to have spent his evening with me, unwinding from his studies. After we had made love he spent a long time kissing every inch of my body. As I thought back I realized it was in silent thanks for sharing my body with him, for giving him the most intimate parts of me.

I had come a long way in the bedroom. Even I could recognize that I had become more vocal and more free in our physical expressions of love. Edward loved that and the more I talked the more he talked back. It often got really dirty but in a _very_ good way. It made everything more intense and I had to admit that my pleasure skyrocketed the more raunchy we got.

Even in the dark coolness of the room I could feel my cheeks heat up at the memory of our time together.

The next morning I awoke to the feel of Edward's hands and lips roaming my body.

"Good morning," I said softly, my voice thick with sleep.

"Mmm, good morning indeed," he said.

"What time is it?"

"A little after nine. Do you want to go out for breakfast?"

I stretched my arms over my head and let out a yawn. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. I was still half asleep but breakfast sounded good.

"Yeah, let's go. Nap afterwards?"

Edward nodded and offered me his hand as he got out of bed.

We both brushed our teeth and washed our faces before throwing on some clothes and running out to the nearest coffee shop.

"I am going dress shopping next weekend," I said.

"Alice sent me a message yesterday telling me she was coming for a visit to help you."

I nodded. "It should be fun. Rose might come too."

We picked at our muffins and sipped on coffee as we went over some wedding details. We had decided to get married at his parents' house. Esme had generously offered to take care of the decorations and the catering. It was to be a fairly small wedding but still elegant. Their backyard was huge and I had already discussed with Esme our ideas for an outdoor reception. Edward and I were to fly out to Seattle during Mardi Gras in order to see some flower samples and go for a taste test. The caterer Esme picked out had already e-mailed me some menu ideas and I was excited to actually savor the delicious things he had described.

While Edward and I had discussed a few specific details, for the most part he left all of the decisions up to me. I wasn't really into the planning and with graduation coming up I knew I wouldn't have much time nor energy to do all that was required. For this reason I had enlisted Esme's help. She, along with Alice, had taken over the leg work. Every day they would e-mail me suggestions and pictures. It was a huge weight off my shoulders and it allowed me to be involved without being overwhelmed.

The most important thing to me was that on my wedding day I would be walking towards him. That it would be him, Edward, waiting for me at the end of the aisle. The details weren't all that important to me otherwise.

~IC~

EPOV

Our trip to Seattle had been a whirlwind, Bella had picked out the flowers and table linens while I got fitted for my tux. I thought it rather unfair that she had so much more to do in comparison to me but I enjoyed the taste test my mother had arranged. My favorite tasting had been at the baker's shop. They had laid out a lot of samples and Bella and I had not known where to begin. Alice and Rosalie had tagged along for that one and the four of us had a great time eating and joking around with each other. At the end of the day though Bella and I got serious and picked out the flavors for our cake.

That pretty much wrapped up our wedding preparations. The invitations had been ordered and Bella's dress was already a closely guarded secret.

We had just returned to New Orleans and were unpacking our suitcases when Bella brought up a topic I wasn't expecting.

"I've been thinking about the wedding," she began.

I looked at her and nodded, prompting her to continue.

"I don't know how you feel about archaic tradition, but I was thinking we shouldn't have sex any more."

"What? Why?" I was dumbfounded.

"Because I want a fresh start, I want the excitement and anticipation of our wedding night. We can pretend to be inexperienced virgins."

My mouth felt a little dry, perhaps the result of my staring at her, agape.

"But that's four months of abstinence. Bella, I don't think I can do that." In fact, I _knew_ I couldn't go four months without making love to, well, my love...

She smiled mischievously. "You don't have to abstain from self-love. I know I plan on that."

"Bella, it sounds as if you've already decided this. You did so without consulting me first, without inquiring as to my feelings on the subject. I find this unfair."

I walked slowly towards her and she instinctively walked backwards until she was pressed against the wall. Her breathing had quickened and her chest rose and fell in quick succession.

"Since you decided to cut me off, I have decided to take a little something for myself. A farewell present if you will," I whispered into her ear, grinning at the reception I was getting from Bella. My arms encased her like a cage and her tell tale shiver of arousal was goading me.

I brought one of my hands down to her chest and pulled down her camisole exposing her breast. I ran my thumb over her nipple as I leaned down to kiss and suck on her neck. Her moans along with her hands in my hair let me know that she was on board with my plan.

"I know what this is," her voice warbled with anticipation. "One last fuck before you make me yours and take me on our wedding night. Perfect plan, Mr. Cullen."

"After tonight, the next time I'm inside you you'll be my Mrs. Cullen."

My words must have ignited something in her because she surprised me by turning the tables and attacking me instead. She pushed me away as she began to remove her clothes, a look of hunger and madness in her face. She was hungry for me, almost as hungry as I was for her.

"Get your clothes off,_ now_," she commanded. She was pulling down her yoga pants as I immediately began to disrobe when I noticed a black marking on her hip.

"What is that?" I nodded in the direction of her hip as I unfastened my belt and proceeded to pull down my jeans and boxers simultaneously.

"It's a 'C' for Cullen. I've been toying with the idea of a tattoo."

I immediately closed the distance between us and my hand went to her hip. I traced the letter that she had apparently drawn with a Sharpie. I felt heavy with desire. I felt frantic and out of control. I wasn't sure if it was because I knew this would be the last time I'd be getting any for a while or if the sight of her marked with my initial was awakening something possessive in me, but whatever it was I was hornier and harder than I had ever been.

"Tell me, does this sex embargo come with any blow jobs or hand jobs?"

"Baby, please! We'll discuss this afterward. Right now I need you inside me."

I pulled her towards the bed and we fell together in a heap. Her laughter adding a little levity to the intensity of what I was feeling.

She was fire between her legs. Her heat and wetness seemed akin to lava flowing out of the earth. My fingers got lost within her and she writhed and moaned with my efforts.

Once I could hold out no longer I rolled over on top of her and kissed her deeply before joining myself with her. The sensation was sublime, as it always was.

~IC~

Bella's graduation came and went in a blur. It was an almost week-long celebration. Her parents came to town for it and Bella and I took turns shuttling them back and forth between our apartment and their hotel.

The sex embargo was in full swing by this point and Bella had been taking great pleasure in mocking my extra long showers during which I made 'shower babies' according to her. Where she picked up that term was beyond me but she got a kick out of saying it. I couldn't very well deny it so I sought to catch her pleasuring herself so as to take her down a peg or two.

Truth be told I wanted to see her purely for my own fantasy material but it would also be funny. Not that I would ever make fun of her for that. I found it incredibly sexy to know that Bella was comfortable with her sexuality and enjoyed exploring her body. This was behavior that I encouraged and hoped to participate in.

Two weeks before we were to leave for Seattle and celebrate our wedding I was going out of my mind. All I could think about was sex with Bella. She was unconsciously tempting me and I feared I would cave and beg her to have sex with me.

"When do you do it?" I asked one night as she got into bed.

"Do what?"

"You know, get relief. We know I use my shower time. What about you? I've been trying to catch you for months."

She laughed and shook her head at me. "You are funny. Trying to catch me. Well, I do it when you do it."

"You mean, while I'm in the shower?"

"It's a sexy thought, to know you're in there thinking of me, or I like to think that you do. But anyway, knowing you're in there getting off is incredibly arousing. It became habit."

"I wonder if you're like Pavlov's dogs now," I mused.

"Hmm, I'm not sure."

"Every now and then I realize how less bashful you've become. I remember when you had a harder time talking about this kind of stuff."

She shrugged. "Guess I'm older and wiser now."

We snuggled close together that night, neither of us worried that we would cave. What started out as a silly game had turned serious. Sure I felt deprived at times sexually, but I realized that our relationship was deeper than sex. I also discovered just how important sex is in our relationship, it sustains us. It softens the rough edges and brings us closer together. I missed that. However I was also learning about self control and how waiting can make everything that much sweeter when you finally get it.

I should clarify that I relearned all this for I had already learned it once. With Bella waiting was always a good thing. It was true in the beginning of our relationship and it was certainly true now.

I couldn't wait to be her husband, and for Bella to be my beautiful bride.

**a/n:**

**Thank you for reading! There is only one chapter left and an epilogue. This could change of course but that's the plan for now. **

**Last chapter my story hit one hundred reviews. I am still shocked and grateful to all of those who review each chapter and so thankful that anybody leaves me any feedback at all. I've said this before but I will say it again. Writing and sharing this story is amazing and I treasure the experience.**

**Anybody go see Breaking Dawn? I thought the movie was actually a good adaptation and it ended at a good spot. I left feeling satisfied. Of course, there were unintentionally funny bits as well as cringeworthy moments but considering the source material it's to be expected. I'm of the mind that the world of Twilight is not to be taken seriously. To me it's fun escapism and I find the obsessed fans as funny as the people who love to hate it at the top of their lungs. Who has that kind of time and energy to hate so vociferously?**

**To those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you had a good holiday. If you went out to the Black Friday madness I hope you didn't get trampled. My lovely beta, EMILY93, expressed this sentiment to me earlier and I'm happy to report I emerged unscathed. **

**Speaking of thanks, thank you again for reading. **

**Emily, everyday I am thankful for friends like you. **

**Until next time, **

**Abby**


	25. Chapter 25

BPOV

"You're leaving for Seattle tomorrow. How are you feeling about everything?"

"I'm feeling good about it. I'm happy."

"Bella, you say one thing but your body language says something completely different. Your arms are crossed in front of you. Often this means you're closing yourself off. Are you sure there isn't something on your mind?"

Dr. De Armas always saw through my bullshit and she very diligently called me out on it.

I sighed in defeat. "I guess I'm a little nervous about the wedding. Even though I don't really care about the logistics, the decorations, flowers, etcetera, I find myself dreading that something will go wrong."

Dr. De Armas nodded but remained silent.

"I'm also nervous about this next step. It's nervous excitement really. I can't wait to marry Edward. It feels like the most natural thing in the world. I'm so happy that I'm scared it's all going to be taken away from me."

"Bella, we've talked at length about your self destructive thoughts. They serve no purpose. What happened to embracing your life and rejecting the guilt you feel about your happiness?"

She had me there. I had come a long way but somehow I seemed to have an uncanny ability to paint myself into a corner once more.

"I just needed to say it out loud to realize how ridiculous it sounds. I've been denying this festering unease I've been feeling."

"Have you discussed any of this with Edward?"

"A little. I mean, I haven't really expounded on it much but he knows I'm scared that something bad will happen. He assures me that even if something were to happen, we'd tackle it together."

Dr. De Armas smiled, "Now that Edward sure is wise."

I chuckled at that knowing she was right.

At the end of our session she gave me her best wishes and offered a few friendly words of encouragement. We made an appointment for when I returned from my honeymoon.

As I drove back to the apartment I wondered where Edward would be taking me for our honeymoon. He had insisted in planning it all on his own and keeping it a secret. I didn't normally like surprises but this was one I could live with.

I had just parked my car when my cellphone rang.

"Alice!"

"Bella almost Cullen, how are you? Have you and Edward packed?"

"I'm fine and yes. We packed what little we needed to pack. All of the important stuff is over there."

"What's your bra size?"

"That's random. Is this why you called?" My voice had turned accusational.

"Yes. So, size?"

"Thirty-four C."

"Perfect. I got you skivvies in medium. Do they need to be small?"

"Medium is fine. Why are you buying me underwear?"

"Rosalie and I are going to make sure Edward has a spectacular honeymoon. We know about the sexbargo."

"The what?"

"Sex embargo. Jeez, Bella. I thought it was all your idea."

"How the hell do you know about that? I know Edward would never tell you about it."

"He blabbed to Emmett who then blathered to Rose and you know. It picked up speed and took on a life of its own."

I was mortified but also amused.

"Okay, but no Fredrick's of Hollywood crap please! I hate the tarty cheap looking underthings that try to be sexy but really aren't."

"Bella, take that stick up your ass and yank it out. You're so picky. I promise it will all be classy and just perfect for you. Now go before you miss your waxing appointment with the beautician."

"I still can't believe I let you talk me into that."

"Your pussy has been out of commission for months. Don't you want Edward's reacquaintance with it to be spectacular?"

"This feels inappropriate so I'm going to go ahead and stop you right there."

"Remember to remove that stick..."

I hung up on her before she was able to finish her admonishment. She was right of course, about the nudity or lack thereof. Because we were trying to remain chaste Edward asked me to not undress in front of him. It was easier that way. Even sleeping in the same bed together was problematic so he took to staying at his apartment once again.

It was strange at first but it was nice to be somewhat traditional just because. I am not one to bow to convention unless I decide to on my own.

I was about to slide my key in the lock when Edward opened the front door.

"Hey there," I said before kissing his cheek.

"How was your session?" He pulled me in for a hug and gave me a kiss on my temple.

"It was good. Did you finish packing?"

"Yep! I'm good to go. I also confirmed Nessie's boarding reservation. Jake will be dropping her off on Thursday morning before he heads to the airport. He and Paul are leaving their dog there too."

"Perfect. I'm glad that's taken care of." I sunk deeper into Edward's embrace and felt completely relaxed as he ran his fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp. The moment was short lived as I had to get ready for my appointment with hot wax and other torture devices.

"I have to shower before my appointment."

"Why do you have to shower for that?"

"My 'you know what' is going to be on display. A person's face is going to be all up in my business. The least I can do is give them a clean canvas."

Edward rolled his eyes but laughed. "I hope this person is not a man."

I gave him a look before making my way up the stairs.

My waxing appointment was just as I expected, painful and void of any dignity. The lady was really nice and managed to keep me fairly relaxed but the pain and discomfort could not be helped. I didn't want to go completely bare as I didn't have any inclination to look like a twelve year old. I was a woman and damn it women had hair down there! I didn't care what anybody said. Not that Edward had ever expressed a preference for hairlessness.

When I arrived home there was a note from Edward on the kitchen counter.

_Bella, _

_I've gone out for drinks with a few friends. It's supposed to be _

_a sort of bachelor party if you will. I promise that strippers will_

_not be involved. _

_I will call you later tonight. _

_I can't wait for tomorrow. I'll be that much closer to having you forever. _

_Love, _

_Edward_

I hugged his note to my chest. I couldn't help but smile.

~IC~

"I really don't understand why you can't stay at my parent's house," Edward said. He was not bothering to mask his annoyance as he handed cash to the bellhop.

"It wouldn't be right. Besides, you said you like tradition and since I don't have a house in Seattle the Fairmont will have to do. Before you know it we'll be absconding for two weeks and we'll rediscover each other."

"I just don't like you being twenty minutes away from me. All alone."

"My parents and out of town guests will be arriving later today and they are all going to stay here."

"I know, I just...I can't bear to be apart from you. Especially now."

I kissed him gently on his lips. I knew he was jittery and needed me just as much I needed him whenever I felt as if I was about to lose my mind. I took his hand and pulled him towards the bed. I sat down and pointed to the spot next to me. He obliged but instead of sitting he lay back down and covered his eyes with his arm.

"Talk to me, baby. What's got you all dysfunctional?"

"I just want things to be normal. They feel too ritualistic. I don't want it to feel like an overwhelming thing. Can't we just get married right now?"

"I know exactly how you feel. We'll have fun. Nerves have a way of sucking the fun out of everything but I know deep down we want this just like this."

"I love you, Bella. I'm honored that you said yes."

We made out for a little while stopping just when Edward was beginning to lose it. I was right there with him but thankfully my arousal was not as noticeable as his. Sometimes, it seemed hard to be a man.

~IC~

"Tomorrow is the big day. We should both get plenty of rest," Edward whispered against my cheek.

Edward had been fidgety all week. Nobody else really noticed his nervous tics but they were blatant to me. The rehearsal dinner was the most relaxed I had seen him since we had arrived in Seattle. He was happy, nervous, but happy. I knew the feeling well because I felt it too. It was like a current of electricity that flowed through me.

Surprisingly I was not anxious. I was living the moment without my symptoms to distract me. I silently thanked Dr. De Armas in my mind.

"It's so early. I know I'm going to have a hard time going to sleep. I wish we could snuggle in bed for a bit," I said to him hoping he'd take pity on me and indulge me.

He smiled but shook his head. "Tomorrow, love. We can hold out for one more night, right?"

"I guess so." I said, forlorn. Quietly regretting putting the ban on sex before the wedding, after all. I hadn't dreamed a few measly weeks without sexual intercourse with Edward would be so excruciatingly difficult and lonely.

"Jasper and Emmett are waiting for me. We're having a guys night in."

"Alice and Rosalie are sleeping here tonight. My suite will be turned into a bridal pampering station. I guess I better head upstairs."

He kissed me softly then, barely touching my lips with his.

"I'll see you tomorrow my beautiful bride." I smiled and nodded.

I watched him walk away before heading to the elevator lobby. I felt in a daze.

I had just changed into my pajamas when there was a knock at my door. I quickly tied my hair into a pony tail before answering the door. The cavalry had officially arrived.

I almost gasped at the amount of stuff that Alice had brought. Garment bags and suitcases spilled from the cart the bellhop was pulling. I moved aside so as to allow him to maneuver and get inside.

"Alice, what on Earth is all this? I can't believe you brought so much stuff!"

"It's not all mine. Rosalie's stuff is here too, as well as your honeymoon suitcases. I packed what we bought for you and figured you and Edward could use a matching set. I left one suitcase with him so he could transfer his clothes into it."

I was relieved that she and Rose hadn't taken it upon themselves to pick out what I would be wearing during my honeymoon, aside from lingerie. I figured we wouldn't be wearing much anyway.

Rosalie joined us a few minutes later.

"The goal is to relax you," she announced as she set down her purse at the foot of the bed. "All this no sexing has you and Edward wound up tight. We'll do our nails, put on face masks and watch bad TV. Sound good?"

Alice and I looked at each other before nodding. Rosalie had a plan and I had no problem following her lead. It sounded like fun and I desperately craved a distraction from fawning after my husband-to-be.

~IC~

"Morning, bitches!"

"Rosalie, shut up," Alice said groggily, rubbing away any sleep from her eyes.

I groaned, trying to burrow into the covers not wanting to wake up just yet.

"Come on you two. I've ordered breakfast and it should be here in a few minutes. We have a lot to get done and it's already ten."

"Dum dum duh dum..." Alice stalked towards me, snickering with a devilish grin on her face.

I rolled my eyes at her, but on the inside I was smiling. I was finally marrying the love of my life today.

Knowing Rose was right I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. By the time I got back there was a room service cart in the middle of the room and the smells of breakfast piqued my appetite.

A few hours later we were almost ready. Alice and Rosalie's hair was done and they were putting the finishing touches on mine. We still had make-up to do. I had always assumed that I would hire a professional to do my make-up but between Alice and Rosalie I knew I was in good hands.

"Are we expecting somebody?" Alice asked as she put down the curling iron.

"Don't look at me. My mom has already been here and we gave her a key card so she'd just let herself in if she were to come back," I said.

"I'll get it, Alice. You finish her hair."

She came back with a small cart loaded with a few splits of champagne and a platter of fruit and cheeses.

"There's a note," she said, handing me an envelope.

I quickly opened it. Tossing the ripped envelope aside as I did.

_My dearest Bella, _

_Here is a little something for you and the girls to enjoy while you finish getting ready. _

_I feel so lucky to be only hours away from marrying you. _

_I love you with all my heart. _

_Edward_

It was impossible for my smile to be any wider.

I was still smiling when we made our way downstairs to the waiting limo.

~IC~

EPOV

My parent's back yard had been transformed into a scene that looked as if it had been pulled out of a dream. It felt very surreal. As I walked down the aisle in order to take my place at the end of it I thought about Bella. Soon she would be making her way to me. I wondered if she'd be as nervous as I felt.

The guests chatted aimlessly until we got word that Bella had arrived. Emmett nudged me with his elbow and smiled at me. Jasper had a goofy grin on his face. I was glad to have them stand up for me. Bella had asked Alice and Rosalie to be her bridesmaids. Jacob was her best man.

The music changed and Jacob appeared at the archway. He slowly made his way down the aisle. Paul only had eyes for him. I couldn't help but notice how Jacob stopped briefly to make eye contact with him.

Alice then followed wearing a plum colored dress. I knew the color because it was all the girls had divulged in terms of detail. The dress was simple and very elegant.

Rosalie wore the same and Emmett couldn't have been more blatant in his ogling. I suppose Rosalie looked good but nothing could have prepared me for the breathtaking sight of Bella as she appeared on Charlie's arm.

She looked absolutely stunning and absolutely terrified. She seemed to float down towards me. When our eyes met everything else disappeared. I was transfixed. Nothing else mattered in that moment.

When Charlie placed her hand in mine I became aware of the tears that had escaped my eyes. Bella wiped them away as she took her place beside me.

I was thankful that my parents had insisted on a videographer as I couldn't remember saying my vows. It was all an exquisite blur. It was only when I finally said 'I do' that my feet returned to the ground.

When the minister declared that I could kiss my bride I immediately pulled her to me. Our kiss was too short but her soft lips moving against mine had me in heaven.

"I love you," she whispered when we finally came back up for air.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

By the time we were done taking pictures it was evening. Our guests had been enjoying cocktails while our families and bridal party joined us for pictures. Bella and I took in the reception area before being joined by everyone else.

"It's beautiful. I love all the lights and candles," Bella said. She was in awe.

"Is it what you pictured?"

"It's better! The flowers look amazing. Everything is just...wow. I have no words."

We stood there for a moment, my arm wrapped around her waist.

"There you are, dears."

"Mom," I said, leaning down to kiss her.

"We're ready to start. Come now."

Bella and I followed her out hand in hand so that the guests could take their seats and we could make our grand entrance.

"I don't like being the center of attention," Bella said softly. She had been dreading our first dance and had begged me to arrange for us to dance alone where nobody could see us.

"Do you recall an audience when we said our vows? Because I don't. It was just you and me, baby.

"You're right. Once I'm in the moment they all fall away. It's the build up to it that drives me a little crazy."

Our first dance went unnoticed by either of us, at least I didn't feel like I was dancing. I felt embraced by Bella, by her softness, by her enticing scent. She sighed contentedly against my chest and I felt her body mould itself to me. For all her nerves she always calmed when she was in my arms.

After our dance it was time for toasts. It was the usual wedding stuff, funny, sweet, poignant. What surprised me most was when Bella stood up to grab the mic.

"I'm not usually one for public speaking but if there is a day to throw caution to the wind it's tonight. Thank you all for coming to share in our happiness today. Esme and Alice, you have worked tirelessly to make this day special. I cannot tell you how grateful we are to the both of you. Rosalie, your eye for fashion has rubbed off and it's the reason I look and feel like a woman. Mom and Dad, your support is most important of all. Without it I would not be here today."

She turned towards me then. Her eyes brimming with tears.

"Most of all I am thankful to my husband, Edward. Gosh, just saying the word husband feels strange and yet so right. Most of you know that Edward and I met at JFK about two years ago. I lost my passport and found my future husband. Edward has always believed in me, believed in _us_. He makes me want to be something more, something better. Not just for him, but for myself as well.

"I'd like to propose a toast to my wonderful husband. I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow, and for as long and wherever my dreams allow me to go, because without you, my love, I would only know sorrow."

I'm man enough to admit that my eyes did not water on account of something getting into them. Rather they watered because something got into my heart - Bella.

~IC~

"A hint. Come on! I'm going to know when we board the plane."

Bella was sitting with her legs on my lap as we rode in the back of a Town Car. She had been begging me for answers in between kisses.

"You'll know tomorrow, love. Right now I just want to get up to our room and ravish you."

"Mmm, that sounds nice. I'm sure that will distract me for a spell."

"Much longer than that, I promise." I winked at her. If only she knew the plans I had for her.

When we arrived at our suite I picked her up and carried her inside.

She squealed in delight. "Put me down!"

"It's tradition. Besides, you like this."

I set her down, eager to get out of my tux and help her get out of her dress. Our bags were already in our room, a different room to which Bella had stayed in the night before. Our moms had also placed various flower arrangements in the room. It looked like an extension of our reception.

"I love all the flowers," she finally said.

"They're wonderful, but you outshine them more than you could ever know." I smiled.

I tilted her head up with my hand and looked straight into her eyes as I brought my lips to her. As we kissed she pulled my jacket off and began unbuttoning my shirt. When she undid the last button I turned her around and began undoing the silk buttons that lined the back of her dress.

As her skin and lace underwear was revealed I grew increasingly more desperate. I was close to just ripping the dress off her but I managed to keep myself composed. Once I finished undoing the buttons I gently pulled down her dress until it pooled at her feet. She stepped out of it and stood before me, a goddess in white lace.

She took my breath away. She looked radiant and though not technically a virgin she was mine and mine alone. I was the only man she had ever been with.

I quickly shed the rest of my clothes until I stood naked before her. My queen. My wife.

"Get me out of this corset, please. I need to feel you. I need to feel your skin against me."

She kissed across my chest and ran her fingers down my back as I unhooked her corset. Once it was off Bella pulled down her panties, finally revealing the results of her wax.

"Perfect," I declared. I ran a finger down between her breasts all the way to the triangle of her sex. She hadn't gone bare, thank God. I liked that she looked like a woman._ My_ woman.

"Let's take this to the bed. I want you. It's been too long."

"Don't forget it was your idea, baby."

She was stroking me as she walked backwards towards the bed. "Mmm, I know," she said breathlessly. "I'll admit, not one of my brightest ideas."

She reached the bed and pulled me down on top of her. She was frantic but I wanted to take this slow. At least, as slow as I could manage. I had a feeling I wouldn't last very long. For this reason I wanted to make sure she had an orgasm before I made love to her. It was the only way I could be sure that she would get off at least once.

I kissed her deeply, my tongue playing with hers while my hands palmed her breasts and tweaked her nipples. She was flushed, her cheeks and chest were reddened. Her breathing was shallow, and her eyes partially closed.

I continued my movements until I began my decent to her center. I licked and sucked at her breasts, taking my time with each one. When I finally touched her between her legs she was already wet and ready for me. I quickly sat up and rearranged her to my liking.

"What are you doing?" she asked sounding drunk.

"I'm going to feast on my lovely wife."

"But I want you inside me." She whimpered, her lips forming a pout.

"Believe me baby, I want that too. But, Bella, I don't think I'll be able to hold out long enough for you to climax and I want to bring you to orgasm."

She nodded and laid back down.

I immediately got to work, not stopping until she was crying out and shaking. She was still incoherent, tears running down her face when I covered her body with mine. I wiped her tears away and kissed her eyes.

"I love you, Edward. So much."

"I love you too."

Still kissing her and stroking her hair I slowly pressed myself against her until I was inside her.

Neither of us spoke a single word and when I finally spilled inside her it was with the knowledge that with her, inside her, and next to her - I was home.

**a/n:**

**This is the last chapter. I can't believe it. When I first started writing this story I honestly thought nobody would read it. It's been so much fun for me to write this and share it with you. **

**Thank you to EMILY93, my beta and friend. If you've been reading for a while then you already know how much she brings to the story. **

**JMac3 - thank you for reading and reviewing every chapter! I can't tell you how much that meant to me. :)**

**I won't say goodbye just yet. There's an epilogue coming soon!**

**-Abby**


	26. Epilogue

BPOV

"Happy six month anniversary, baby. I love you today more than I did when I married you." I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tip toes so as to connect his lips with mine.

"I love you, Bella. I still can't believe we're married. It continues to amaze me."

"Good," I said cheekily. This prompted Edward to swat my behind playfully.

"Only a little less than two weeks until Christmas, love. Are you ready for the Cullens and Swans to descend upon our little slice of New Orleans heaven?"

"I actually can't wait."

Edward gave me a strange look but proceeded to make his way to the bedroom to finish getting ready.

Edward and I had sold the apartment Charlie had bought for me and moved into a huge house right on St. Charles Avenue. It was way more than I thought we could afford but it turned out that the money from the apartment covered our down payment and then some.

Edward was studying law at Tulane and I had gotten a teaching job at a nearby elementary school.

We were both happy and had fallen into a routine. Even with all the reading Edward needed to do, he was insatiable and we made love almost every night. I even got over my aversion to period sex. My reluctance was short-lived once we got married.

All of this along with a case of strep throat and a round of antibiotics had led me to take a pregnancy test the week before. It was positive.

I had collapsed in a heap on the bathroom floor when I read the result. I cried happy tears and immediately placed a hand on my abdomen, silently vowing to protect the life that was now growing inside me. I wanted to have my pregnancy confirmed by a doctor before telling Edward the happy news. Even though we hadn't planned to get pregnant this soon I knew he would be elated.

"I'm off to the library," he announced. "Call or text me if you need me, love." He kissed me before heading out the door.

I jumped up from my seat and ran to get ready.

A couple of hours later I had confirmation that I was pregnant. I was about eight weeks along and everything was going well. I even had a picture of my little blueberry, safe and sound in my womb.

Unbeknown to Edward, I had taken the day off from work and so I decided to make him a little something to let him know he was going to be a daddy. Just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes. I was already feeling the effects of the influx of hormones.

In the weeks before my pregnancy was confirmed I was already experiencing bouts of fatigue. I was constantly tired and daydreamed of taking naps all day long. I had been fighting my somnolence but now I felt I didn't need to put on a show. I threw myself on the couch and promptly fell asleep.

I hadn't meant to sleep for more than a couple of hours but I was woken by a frantic Edward who found me passed out when he came home at one o'clock.

"Bella, baby wake up," he whispered.

"What's wrong?" I asked still mostly asleep.

"You're asking me? You're the one who is supposed to be at work. What happened?"

"Nothing happened. I'm fine."

"Bella, it's not like you to call out. Are you unwell?"

"No, I'm perfectly fine." I sat up and stretched my arms over my head. As I did so I was hit with a mild wave of nausea. I shuddered and saw that Edward had a look of concern on his face.

I had been unable to come up with a creative way of announcing our pregnancy on account of my slumber so I decided to tell him right then. I found it cruel to make him sweat thinking there was something wrong.

"You're scaring me. Something feels off, there's something you're not telling me, Bella. I demand to know what you're hiding."

Well damn. He was about to have a nervous breakdown.

I took his hand and placed it on my stomach.

"I'm pregnant."

His eyes went wide and his lips curved into a smile. "You're glorious." He kissed my lips forcefully before he scooted off the couch and kneeled in front of me. He lowered his head to my abdomen and very gently kissed me there.

"We're having a baby. Bella, I love you so much! How did this happen?"

"I think when I had strep. We weren't exactly careful..."

"How are you feeling? Is that why you didn't go into work today?"

"I'm feeling great. A little tired but everything is perfect. Here, hand me my purse."

He got up and went to the kitchen counter to retrieve it. When he handed it to me I fished out the ultrasound photo.

"See that? That's our little blueberry."

Edward's face was priceless. He took the picture from me as if I was handing him the most precious thing in the world. His eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

"Why blueberry?" he asked softly, his eyes not leaving the image in his hand.

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's cute and he's just so tiny."

"You think it's going to be a boy?"

"For some reason I have a feeling that it is. It's what I've been dreaming of since I found out I was pregnant."

I went on to recount how I began to suspect, bought a home pregnancy test and finally went to the doctor. He held my tightly and listened intently. We were both over the moon.

Spent from our excitement I convinced Edward to take a little nap with me before dinner. We had decided to wait until I was in my second trimester before telling our family and friends. The risk of miscarriage was higher in the first twelve weeks and we didn't want to involve anybody should something go wrong. We had no reason to worry but we both felt it was more prudent to keep the pregnancy to ourselves. Besides, what better secret to keep together.

~IC~

EPOV

Pregnancy became Bella. At seven months she was radiant and happy. She had only suffered mild morning sickness early on and her second trimester had brought forth an energetic Bella. It was weird to see most of what I had read become reality.

I was fascinated by the changes that her body underwent. From the subtle change in the shade of her nipples, to the progressive growth of her tummy. I adored the appearance of my pregnant wife. She was beautiful, curvaceous and all woman. Her skin was supple, her hair healthy and thick and her swollen and ever growing stomach reminded me of the life we had created together and every time I caught sight of her tummy, I'd smile.

It wasn't until she had a sizable bump that I became aware of the baby during our lovemaking. Normally I was so focused on Bella that I forgot about everything else but having her little bump in the way was impossible to ignore. I'm proud to report that I was not one of those guys who was worried about poking the baby while having sex. With all the information available just a click away such worries should not exist. I pity the guys who hold back or go without out of misplaced fears. I feel even sorrier for the women who have to suffer because of that too.

The way I saw it, Bella would have a lot to deal with once the baby came, particularly physically. I felt it my duty to bring her as much pleasure as possible before she was out of commission for six weeks following the delivery of our baby.

I was reading some case law when Bella came into the study and sat on the window seat. I put down my documents and looked up to see her fiddling with her phone.

"What's up?"

She looked up at me and smiled.

"I spoke to my mom. She wants to move here for a while until we figure out what we are going to do about childcare. I know we both want me to stay home but financially that's impossible. I need to continue teaching in order to make ends meet."

"What about my trust fund?"

"I know we can always fall back on that and not worry about me working but I just can't see us doing that. I know it's stupid of me to say that but tons of families who make less than us manage. Why can't we?"

This was a topic that we often discussed. Bella didn't feel right about staying home and living off my trust fund whereas I felt it was the perfect time to do so. She could go back to work once the baby was old enough to go to pre-school.

"Baby, we've talked about this. How distracted will you be at work once the baby is born? I know you. You won't want to leave its side. I know people manage but they do what they must. If they had the means to stay home with their kids they would."

She looked at me and bit her bottom lip. She was about to crack.

"Renee is welcome to stay here as long as she likes once the baby comes. I know my parents will be here as well. You can be home, too. Bella, make plans to quit your job. It's the least I can do. I already feel like I haven't done enough."

"Edward, you might not be carrying our child but you take care of me and him in ways I cannot." She rose from her seat and walked over to me. I opened my arms to her and she settled on my lap.

"I've read that men often feel useless and disconnected from the pregnancy because it's not the same for them. Baby, you talk to my belly every night and you rub my feet, massage my back. You've been amazing to me throughout and I am so very thankful for you. You do plenty. Don't talk like that, please."

She leaned down to kiss me and I greedily took to her like a starving man.

I would normally have made love to her right there but at that point the bed was more comfortable and it was the least I could do. I promptly lead her to our bedroom and showed her just how much I loved her.

~IC~

"I've tried everything, walking, spicy food, jumping up and down. This baby just doesn't want to come out," Bella huffed as she rubbed her belly.

She was five days past her due date and it was growing increasingly uncomfortable for her. She was having trouble sleeping and her back was killing her.

"Bella, if I may," my father said.

"Sure, Carlisle. I'm open to all suggestions."

He looked at Charlie and my mother before motioning for us to follow him. Bella and I looked at each other but followed. He led us into the study and closed the door.

"Have you tried having sex?"

"No, we haven't had sex in about a week and a half. I've reached the point where I just can't, no matter how much I might want to," Bella said softly. She sounded a little embarrassed.

"Understandable," Carlisle said, nodding. "Semen contains prostaglandins that can help soften the cervix and move things along. I know you might not be up for it but sex and orgasms have been known to help. It's at least a pleasurable endeavor."

My face was heating up at the thought. If I were to take Bella into our room right now my father would know I was getting it on.

Bella, who had no shame now a days shocked us both by grabbing my hand firmly and hurriedly leading me out of the study.

"What's the rush? Is there a baby coming?" I joked, chuckling to myself. Bella simply growled.

"Turn on some televisions and make noise Carlisle. I'm going to make your son bring forth what he helped put in me," she giggled as we walked.

Once in the privacy of our bedroom I helped Bella lift her dress over her head.

"I'm not going to miss this maternity underwear," she sighed as she undid her bra.

"This is beginning to feel like it's a chore to you. If you're not up for it we don't have to."

"No, Edward. I'm sorry baby. I am actually horny," she said seriously.

I chuckled at her sudden bashfulness. "Then let me make love to you. I want you."

She hummed in pleasure as I ran my fingers over her nipples. She had begun to leak a little over the last few weeks and my attention to her breasts seemed to cause this. Surprisingly Bella was not fazed by this and simply instructed me to bring her a washcloth.

It wasn't long before we were both naked on the bed. We made love side by side as it was the most comfortable position for Bella plus we had read that laying on the left hand side was best for both mother and baby.

"That was amazing. I didn't think I would...you know. But wow. That was intense."

I nodded and kissed her temple. My hands were on her belly. The baby was always active after Bella had came. I wondered if he felt as happy as she did.

I wasn't sure if it had anything to with our having sex but Bella went into labor the next morning.

~IC~

William Edward Cullen was beautiful and perfect. His eyes were big and wide. He was much more alert than I expected. When I held him for the first time I had tears streaming down my face, as did Bella as she watched. It was possibly the most overwhelming moment of my life.

"Ouch. That hurts," Bella said when the baby latched onto her breast for the first time.

I smiled from my seat next to her bed.

The nurse gave Bella a few words of encouragement before leaving us alone. A newly minted family.

"He's really going to town there," I said to Bella. I stroked William's head gently, careful not to exert pressure on his soft spot.

"He's hungry." She smiled as she nursed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm in a dream. I'm a little hazy but so happy. My lower half feels like it took a beating. I feel swollen and tender in places I was not expecting. I'm sorry for the over sharing that I'm about to do but my butt hurts. My butt!"

I chuckled at her little tantrum. "All of those muscles down there are engaged. Your pussy was glorious."

"My goodness, Edward! Don't say things like that." She meant to admonish me but she was holding back laughter.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll be good now."

I snuggled up to her and finally got into the bed with her. With my arm wrapped around her I held my two loves in my arms.

Our lives would always be like this, full of love, inappropriate, pervy conversations and intimate moments. Life was messy, bloody and even painful but our precious son William was proof that it was all worth it in the end.

**a/n**

**This is it! I can't believe it's over. **

**Thank you so much for reading. Especially since there are so many fics out there, some by very well known and prolific writers. When I first started writing I had no idea how incredibly large this Twilight Fanfiction fandom was. It wasn't until I joined Twitter that I realized just how massive and crazy it is. Contests, awards, banners...the list of things I still know nothing about continues to grow everyday. **

**I wrote this story for fun. It challenged me to stick to something and also gave me a chance to practice my writing. I feel as though I've improved and relearned so much. I know that there is always room for improvement and I also know that my story isn't perfect. Emily and I gave it our best and had an amazing time editing and becoming great friends. **

**Before I close I wanted to recommend one of my favorite stories: Getting Warmer by Eiluned Price. It's one of my favorite portrayals of Edward and Bella where Edward is a vampire. She is also translating a French fic: Les Yeux de la Lune by Elysabeth. It's amazing. I haven't been reading much lately but this fic is different and worth checking out. **

**Thank you again for reading, your reviews and alerts always made me smile. **

**I added pictures of the wedding dress and other such details to my tumblr- abbycreations**

**Love,**

**Abby**


	27. Moving to Fictionpad

Hi guys,

I don't like using this method for getting in touch with readers but I don't know how else to let you know that I will no longer be using fanfiction dot net to publish my stories. Recently the site has pulled a lot of popular stories for TOS violations with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

For this reason I have decided to move over to fiction pad. You can find my stories there. My pen name is iron_gall. I'm not sure if I will leave my stories up here.

It's been a while since I've written but I am currently working on an entry for a contest so you should see that up after the winners are announced.

Have a good weekend!


End file.
